What I want from life. And two sidenotes.

Today Yesterday, the 11th of June was a mother of a day. It started like any other day and I was obviously late for work. Not that I cant wake up, but the place I live at, the cars are parked two rows deep and its a herculean task to get your car out of the driveway before 10 in the morning. Sounds stupid but these are the things that make India awesome and Indian life full of fun and excitement. And even though I love these at times, most times I curse and want to get out.

So I was late. On normal days its not a problem because I work at a setup where we dont have HR (or HR policies) and thus we dont have time sheets. This means that you merely need to show up at work before your boss does. And my boss, the hedonist and party animal he is, comes by 2 (in the afternoon). And most days I get away with it and am fine. 

Today Yesterday, I apparently had a meeting at 11 that I wasnt aware of. While I was blissfully driving towards work (FYI, drive to work takes 2 hours, each way), for no reason at all, the battery of my phone conked off. And I swear that I had charged it to 100 percent the night before. But like all other humans, I am helpless when technology wants to play funny games. And that is when a regular old boring day translated into a time sink.

I use another phone when I am in Mumbai and a very few people have that number. And since no one could reach me on my regular number, everyone started calling me on the number. Every one from my boss, my admin guy, the client, the neighbor of the client, my team, everyone called me atleast thrice. All for the meeting that I was supposed to be in, that no one had bothered to inform me about, that was supposed to start at 11. The meeting at 11 had some 11 participants in it, I was the 12th. Everyone, including a lot of high ranking officials from one of the largest companies in the world aka client aka God aka the creature that is never wrong, were waiting for me. I reached the meeting room as 12 and when I opened the door, I saw 11 bored faces staring at me. One look and I could tell that at least of 10 of them wanted to be anywhere but in that conference room. And all of them were expecting me to lead the meeting. I obviously did not know what I was doing there or who had called that meeting or what would I talk about in the meeting. Hell, I didn't even know the names of 9 out of those 11 people.

But, thanks to my MBA, I faffed my way out of the meeting. Funny that most people in that meeting were MBAs themselves and yet they could not figure out my faff. Wonder why. I somehow wriggled my way out of the meeting, only to get stuck in the bureaucratic maze that my workplace is. Bureaucracy, in a company that has just about 100 employees and in a branch that has just about 50. We do take somethings seriously here.

And then after that I dont remember what exactly I did but when I checked the time next, it was 8 PM. Luckily, a very dear friend was nearby and I invited her over for dinner, at the place where I had this meeting. We had our food and Diet Coke over a conversation that had no purpose apart from catching up. Like most of my dinner meetings with friends, I would have spoken for 80% of time, the other 20% spent in eating and drinking. Poor her. Side note: If I could have more days like this where I do a lot of work, I catch up with a friend after work, write something when I am home, I would be sorted for life. Ofcourse I need to add a few things - namely atleast a cuddle with sgMS, lot of money, lot more time to cook up new projects, a shower couple of times a day and a lot of travel to break from the monotony. What else could we ask for from life? No?

So, coming back to the day, I dropped my friend to her car and plunged into work. And then suddenly it was 1130 PM. I was tired out of my wits, not because I had lifted weights or something but because I had a million things on my head. I think exhausted would be a better word. I realized that mental works tires you more than physical labor does - may be a lesson for training, once I get fit again. I also noted that I had walked quite a bit during the day. I need to buy some good walking shoes. Heard that Asics are good but havent tried em. Ok, so I walked at least 9672 steps, as captured by Moves (Side note: amazing app. Must have even if you are not trying to lose weight).

The next day (which is technically today, since I am writing this at 1:33 in the morning) I had an early start. I needed to leave home by 630. And hence I left at 12ish. I reached home, did some bits of work, wrote this (still writing) and finally off to wonder land.

Of course not without dreaming of Nidhi and sgMS.

P.S.: Just realized that I am beginning to talk a lot about work in recent posts. Note to self. Stop doing that. Work rather on creating a brand out of thyself. 

84.3

The other day I was at my cousin's place. Since he just got that home, hes got tons of shiny objects that I love to play with. One of them was a weighing scale, the kinds you see at expensive hotels. And now when I have been running intermittently and controlling my food intake, I decided to measure the impact. I ought to have lost a lot of weight in last 6 months! All the hard work has to pay off. I had kept a serious tab on my fetish for junk food and cola. I was bound to have lost weight.

With butterflies in my stomach and a heart that was jumping so hard that it could pop out of my throat, I tapped on the scale to activate it and then I stepped on it. To measure myself.

They say when you face death, time flows slower and the entire life somehow flashes past your eyes. And that is what happened when I saw the number on the weighing scale. I was struck by a lightening. As ferocious as it would have been when the day of reckoning would have tormented mother Earth. When all Dinosaurs perished and when we were engulfed in a white storm. The time stood still. 

And like all victims of calamities that us humans cant control, I went through the following five stages of emotions - anger, denial, question, acceptance and depression.

It started with my pent up anger coming to surface. I was angry at myself for letting the athletic me of the late  nineties to have become the fatso of now. Like most things in life, I did not plan for my inflated belly but I know that I could have controlled it. And to be honest it does not take much to do so. And yet I let is grow like crazy. To a point where I cant breathe after even little exertion.

Next up was denial. When I tried to tell myself that its not me and may be the weighing scale has made some mistake. May be the scale was rigged and its a conspiracy against me and my weight loss mission. May be its an attempt to derail me from writing the Nidhi Kapoor story.

And then the question. I questioned Mother Nature. I asked about her decision to punish me. Me of all her 7 billion children. There are times when you want her to select you and shower you with goodies but at times like these when she singles you out and slaps you hard in the face, you wonder, why me.

I realized that like lot of other things this has been forced upon me. Yes, I am responsible for a large part of it. And I accepted the way I am. I told myself that I'd be happy and try to live with my chin held high. I would close my eyes everytime I see someone who is fitter and leaner. That in reality means that I walk like a blind man, for everyone else around me is fitter and leaner than I. But since I have accepted to live with this, I shall do so.

But the hard part is to actually do it everyday. Day after day. Hour after hour. Minute after minute and second after second. There is no way I can keep depression away from my head. Not about my poverty or about my thinning bank balance. But about my uncontrollable weight. Whatever I have tried, may not be much. But it definitely is not working. The only options left for me, as I see, are either to go into the sharan of Nirmal Baba, or renounce from this material life and goto the mountains. But I think going to mountains requires serious commitment and effort. But then, I wish I was the kinds to put in effort :(

Chapter 2. Cho, Ceaser and Cookie.

This is part 2 in a series. You may want to read part 1 first.

Prakash observed that the office was not big compared to the opulence and grandeur of the living room that he had just crossed. An impressive polished teak table was placed in the middle of the room. Behind it was a window overlooking the garden, it had lilac chiffon curtains on it. A shiny iMac on the table was facing that window. There was a pen stand that had immaculately sharpened pencils, sharpened ends facing up, in it. Next to the stand were loose sheets of paper, fluttering under the constant waft of air from the aircon vent write above it. They were held back by a figurine of Sheldon Cooper, the character from the TV series Big Bang Theory. It was a picture perfect setting for a writer. The writer could walk upto the desk any minute and start scribbling out his best seller. And then Prakash saw it, the typewriter, perched up on the other end of the table. And a sheet of paper hanging out of it. The paper had something typed on it. It also seemed to have crimson spats on it. From where Prakash was, the spats looked like dried blood stains.

The wall on the left had a floor to ceiling high bookshelf, filled meticulously with books, mostly on film, television, biographies and other such popular titles that people merely collect, to show off, and not read. The shelf was designed like that in libraries. Wooden shelves, spaced at regular distances, and without a glass door. On the other side of the table, along the right hand wall was a huge bright yellow couch, enough to become a makeshift bed if required. And placed between the table and the couch was a huge gramophone and an envious collection of vinyl records stacked as neatly and orderly as the books in the bookshelf were. Looked like Nidhi Kapoor had a fetish for all things retro. And she was orderly in her approach and everything was neatly stacked. Any amateur people-watcher could tell that she was at least a borderline case of obsessive compulsive disorder and Prakash was no amateur.

There was a oval rug on the floor between the door and the teak-wood desk. The rug occupied most of the empty space on the floor. Looked like an expensive piece of accessory but it had soaked in a lot of blood and had become messy. Renu, when she entered the room behind Prakash and Praveen in a hurry, had stepped on this rug. Renu was wearing her regular Kolhapuri chappals and if she wasnt numb with what she saw, she wouldve felt thick sticky liquid on her feet. Since she had stepped back to hold on to the frame of the door, she had left a distinct U shaped mark of her Kolhapuri chappal on the rug and at the entrance of the door. The red U mark pointing towards the story unfolding in front of her.

When Renu came in, on the rug, she saw lifeless bodies of two dogs and a cat. And not just lifeless but the murderer had used these poor animals as a canvas to show off his or her creativity on. A pug, that probably suffered the least when it was killed, had its neck twisted at an unnatural angle. The eyes were still open and were staring at the entrance. The brown skin had turned dark with all the blood that had dried. The jaw was open and the tongue was cut by its own teeth, probably, the pug was trying to breathe once its neck broke. The other dog, a bull dog, had suffered the worst fate. It had  multiple stab wounds on its body and one of the pencils from the desk was stuck into its face, right below one of the eyes. It was lying on its back and and a huge blot of blood clot was visible on its entire belly. One of the legs was amputated and the bone was sticking out of it. The cat had deep cut on its shoulders. The white fur had turned red and the head was split open to reveal pinkish mass beneath the white and grey lumps of hair.

Dead bodies of all these animals, or whatever remained of them, were stacked close to each other and they looked like a heap of flesh and bones, gathered carelessly in the middle of big puddles of blood on the rug. And Renu was probably so disturbed because she loved pets. She herself had a cat at home. The cat at home, she called it Felix, was her only companion in fact. There was no dearth of suitors, she was young, very attractive and on the fast track to being successful. But for some reason she kept everyone at bay. She did have a few people that she would get sloshed with and then get one of them back home for the night. She probably wanted a similar arrangement with Inspector Prakash, get him drunk and invite over to her apartment. But right now, she could not think of anything else. Her gaze was fixed onto the heap of dead bodies and she seemed to have lost her speech. Tambe, when he saw her slump had rushed to help her but Prakash had stopped him from going.

"Hmmm... When did you discover this?", Prakash asked no one in particular, but everyone knew that the question was addressed to Naveen Kapoor. Prakash was as composed as if he was in the familiar garden where he went for his morning yoga sessions.

Naveen was clearly uncomfortable in the room, made more uncomfortable by Prakash's indifference and Renu's trauma, he said, "I dont know Inspector. We found these today morning when Nidhi came into her office. Poor girl is still in shock. Cho, Ceaser and Cookie meant the world to her. She would take care of them as if they were her children".

Tambe stared long and hard at Naveen on the children remark. Prakash looked at Tambe and then turned back to Naveen and continued, "No one at the house saw or heard anything? The security guards? If someone had to kill these animals, they had to get access to the house. And dont dogs and cat make a lot of noise? There is no way someone maimed these animals and no one heard a thing". More than anything else, Prakash was talking to himself. Tambe knew it instantly, he and Prakash had been together since Tambe moved to Mumbai, from Satara, another district in Maharashtra. Tambe was a beat constable there and he had been promoted 4 years back.

Naveen said, "These were very friendly dogs. They did not bark even if you took their food away. They have been, had been, with us since Nidhi was in school and she had trained them well. Of course Nidhi's father, late Nishant Kapoor, was a famous actor in his days. He always had money and time for these things. And the guards, they are not allowed in the house. Their only job is to remain outside the gates and control the maddening crowds that throng our home incessantly".

"Mr. Kapoor, I asked if someone saw or heard something. I am not interested in the life and times of Kapoors", Prakash said curtly. He apparently had no time for vain indulgences of Kapoor. 

"Are there more dogs, cats or other pets in the house? Did you interrogate the guards?", Prakash was getting impatient and wanted to get over with the case as soon as possible.Even thought this looked like a petty crime where a few pets have been butchered but the way they were executed methodically, in cold blood, was making Prakash skeptic.

"No. No. I havent had time to ask anyone. Nidhi discovered this... mess and she's gone in shock. She is upstairs in her bedroom with her mother and her assistant Payal. I have been tending to her. It was only when Payal reminded me to call the police, I spoke to Raj Saab", replied Naveen.

Rajkiran Sharma was the commissioner of police and he had instructed his office to give this case to Prakash Mohile's station. Everyone knew that Prakash was a no - nonsense officer and was least likely to get influenced by the high profile nature of the case. He is also known to keep his distance from the media. So the unnecessary leaks could be kept in tab.

"Hmm.. ok. I would want to talk to every member of the house, including the servants. I want to spend some time here by myself. Please wait for me outside till then", Prakash said, while walking towards the table. He continued, "Tambe, take Renu Maam out of the room and get someone to get her some water". Both statements were more of orders, rather than requests. Tambe was used to these but Naveen Kapoor wasn't. He started to revolt but decided against it. He did not want to be in the room with dead bodies anyway. Naveen started to go out of the room, paused momentarily when he saw Renu on the door. Renu was still staring at the mangled bodies and seemed to be shivering.

Naveen said, "You know Inspector, this is exactly how I found Nidhi, right here on this door". And with this, without waiting for an answer, Naveen side-stepped Renu and walked out.

Moment he was out of sight, Tambe muttered, "Sir, something's wrong. Naveen is not as worried as he wants to appear. But who would kill these poor animals. They had a far far better life than most of us anyway. They live in air conditioned rooms with enough food to feed five families, and access to doctors that take more money per visit that we spend on medicines in our entire lives".

"And this is why someone killed them Tambe. Lets stop chitchatting and go through the crime scene. But first take care of Renu maam please", instructed Prakash.

Tambe headed towards the door to tend to Renu who looked visibly shaken. Before Tambe could help Renu, she realized what was happening around her. She got up by herself and walked out. Tambe followed her out. Prakash silently saw them depart and turned towards the table again.

Prakash liked to work like that on most of his cases. He'd take one long, hard, unbiased look at the crime scene to acquaint himself with it. Then he would talk to everyone who could have had anything to do with the victim or the crime scene. Finally he would just let everything simmer in his head and wait for dots to connect. Every new evidence added another layer of connection between the dots and he kept on breaking and making these connections. And finally he would get the answers. Answers to even seemingly impossible cases. His repertoire of successful cases included confiscation of a large stash of illicit drugs and the famous hit and run by son of a leading industrialist. In both these cases, they did not have a single clue. Only a crime scene and tyre marks on a dusty road and a grainy footage from a cctv in the other. And yet Prakash was able to close those cases.

He was always called in when there were cases that seemed too complex for the police force to handle. Of course nothing in his countenance gave that away. He was rather small, compared to other police officers. He would be about 5 feet 8, very fit and was almost bald. He kept his head shaved and no one could tell that he was 34. He came to Mumbai with his mother and sister when he was ten and the city was still called Bombay. His mother was a successful theater actress in Pune, some 160 KMs from Mumbai. His father, a school teacher and their's was a love marriage. But right after Prakash was born, the daily grind of the household got to the nerves of his parents and they had started quarreling occasionally at first and then almost everyday. His mother harbored the desire to be a film star and father liked the small town life on the outskirts of sleepy Pune. Differences became so much that Prakash's mother decided to move to Mumbai with the kids in tow. But reality hit harder and sooner than she had expected. Her only appearances on screen were a few sightings in the background scenery and a couple of side roles as character actress. She, like others, turned to alcohol, in attempt to find solutions and success. Even that dint help. And when Prakash was all of fifteen, his mother committed suicide, depressed about girls half her age getting meatier roles than her. Even in her death, she did not get any mention in the newspapers. By this time, Prakash's father had moved away from Pune and a young Prakash could not trace him. Prakash came back to Bombay and put all his energy and time into his and his sister's education.

In Nidhi Kapoor's office, despite all the other overpowering odors of excreta, animals, burnt flesh and air conditioning, there was a distinct whiff of some variety of lavender perfume in the room. Prakash made a mental note about the perfume and started to examine the room carefully. The first thing that he went to was the typewriter. On it was a sheet of paper that had some sort of typed letter on it. He carefully clicked the picture of the type writer and the sheet of paper hanging from it, with his phone and tore the sheet away. Prakash had a blatant disregard for protocol and yet he was careful enough with anything that he could use as evidence at a later date. Most other officers would wait for police photographer to arrive and take pictures of the venue before they start with the investigation. Not, Prakash. He liked to take action and swift action at that. He knew his technology and knew that pictures from an iPhone are as good as the one from official police cameras. And no one used the pictures anyway, except the newspaper hounds, when the pictures were leaked.

He started reading the letter, written in chaste English. It was apparently addressed to the deceased animals. Tambe was back by then and he saw Prakash reading the letter in rapt attention. Tambe guessed that the letter must contain something important, or else Prakash wasnt the kinds to put too much attention into reading. He dint even read the newspaper or the official reports.

"Whoever wrote this, definitely has a knack for writing good prose. Too bad, the letter is at the crime site, or the writer could have written a few films for Kapoor clan", said Prakash and handed over the letter to Tambe, who carefully sealed it in an evidence bag. Tambe really wanted to read the letter but he wasnt good with English and more importantly he knew that while Prakash goes through a crime scene, Prakash wants everyone on their toes.

Nothing else seemed out of place in the room. The window behind the table was shut tight. The lawn beyond the window had a small swimming pool in it. The water in the pool was clean and calm and the umbrella next to the lounge chair was folded. The entire periphery of the house was covered with high walls, barb-wired at the top. Tall Ashoka trees had been planted along the wall, to afford privacy.

Prakash thought out loud, "So whoever did this, had a lot of time to go about carving these animals. There is precision of a careful planner. Apart from the foot mark left by Renu, there is no other trace left by the killer. The killer has to be somebody who knows this house and this room well. Animals are never friendly to strangers and there are no signs of any struggle. There is no way all three could be killed at one time. We can atleast get an autopsy done to estimate the time of killing of these". Tambe was trying to think hard as well.

"Look Tambe!...", Prakash suddenly exclaimed with excitement.

Prakash had reached the other end of the room where the large gramophone was placed next to that yellow couch.. Prakash suddenly bent over the gramophone and had pulled something out from the pie of vinyl records.

"What is it sir? A vinyl record? I have seen many of those a Lamington Road market.", Tambe was trying to think hard and figure out the reason for Prakash's excitiment. May be the record had some finger prints or some blood spats or something that they had missed all this while.

"An original record for Pyasa, the Guru Dutt movie. I have always wanted to own one of these. It would fit in well with my collection of...", and Prakash paused in the middle of the sentence.

Tambe was thrown offguard for a minute when he heard the mention of Pyasa. He knew Prakash liked Guru Dutt but he could not make the connection between the crime scene and Prakash's evident excitement. Before he could say something, Prakassh had paused in mid sentence and had started to walk towards the book shelf on the other end of the room, his eyes fixed at a spot on the top shelf. Tambe, being an experienced policeman realized what was important and his gaze followed Prakash's. Prakash was staring at a point on the top corner of the book shelf.

Prakash side stepped the rug in the middle of the room and crossed the entrance to the room and reached the bookshelf. He said, "Looks like someone has borrowed a book from this shelf. And a fat book. There is no way the book shelf would have an empty spot like this when every inch of available space on the shelf is crammed with books. And I can bet no one here touches any books. These are meant for display only!".

Tambe replied, "How do you know sir that these are for display. And may be a book is missing. Or someone took it on loan. What does a missing book has to do with our case sir?". Tambe was amongst a handful of colleagues who could afford to question Prakash's judgement.

Prakash answered, "Look at the shelf. All books are lined neatly as if they were lined with a ruler. There is a thin layer of dust on the shelf. Probably the cleaner did not get time today. The spot on the top shelf however, is clean. Very clean. So clean that its out of place. Its as if there was a book there and someone dragged it out of there to make space. Also people who read a lot, read more than one book at a time. And they always leave the books they are reading at strange places. My sister does that. The house is full of books and bookmarks". Prakash paused to examine the titles on the shelf.

"And look at the gramophone there", Prakash pointed and said, "someone plays it regularly. There is not a speck of dust on it. The vinyls are stacked neatly as well but some of them are not in their jackets, like this Pyasa record, and some have been left right next to the player. Its odd that a room kept as meticulously as this would have an empty space in the bookshelf".

"You are right sir. And who wants to read only biographies and film books. Where are the magazines? And our staple evening newspaper, Maha Sakaal?", quipped Tambe. He continued, "Sir, which paper does Renu madam write for?"

Prakash replied carelessly, "I dont know that. Raj Saab hasnt told me that. Its some secret assignment for some international newspaper or magazine. All I know is that I am supposed to keep her in tow for a month. And that means we have to tolerate her for 15 more days".

Tambe began to laugh. He was the kinds that had infectious laughter. When he laughed, you could see all his teeth. And laugher sounded more like a roar.

"Whats so funny that you are laughing? And we are done here. I have seen what is there to be seen. We wont find anything of interest here. Ask someone to seal this room", Prakash instructed.

Tambe nodded and flipped out his walkie talkie to call for this colleagues.

"And lets go and talk to Nidhi Kapoor. You always wanted to meet her. Right? Here is your chance. But before you talk to her, there is something very important that I want to do. That letter that I gave you Tambe, I have to ask her something about it". Prakash said and he headed out of the room. He also threw the vinyl that he was so excited about, at Tambe, who caught it deftly. Tambe left the record on the yellow couch and rushed behind Prakash.

Renu was standing outside the room, facing the door, still looking at the mangled bodies on the rug. She was using the wall to support her back and her entire demeanor seemed resigned, but in control. She tried to collect herself when she saw Prakash come out. Prakash looked at her, paused and said, "Oh yes, you! I had almost forgotten about you. Are you alright? I want you to come with me when I talk to Nidhi Kapoor. Can you do it?"

Prakash rarely waited for answers. That was his way of working. His orders often came in guise of requests, and requests in guise of questions. This sounded like a question and Renu knew immediately that this was a request.

She said, "Yes I think I am ok now. I would come along. I need to catch whoever did this. Bloody butcher needs to be punished". This was the first time Renu had shown any kind of serious emotion. So far, in her two weeks with Prakash and Praveen, she hardly let her true emotions surface. She started following Prakash with hurried steps. Prakash was anyway always in hurry and now had Tambe and Renu in tow.

And they left the room, the way they found it. Only thing they had taken from the room was the letter from the typerwriter. And the only thing they had left behind was a pointed U mark from Renu's Kolhapuri chappal on the expensive rug.

Here it is - the writer's block!

I think its a been a week since I started that little project and it was good going. Till some days back. When the writers block hit me. And I did not write then. I did not write yesterday either. And I did not write the day before. And the day before that.

I have all the excuses that the men have come up with, since time immemorial - no time, no inspiration, no ideas, no laptop to write on, no electricity at home etc.

But end of the day, all these are mere excuses and nothing else. I really enjoyed those nights when I dint sleep and I wrote. When I deliberated over each word that I want to put forth on the blog. When I searched for etymology, origins, synonyms, antonyms etc of words. When I went back and forth and changed tenses and grammar, since I suck so much at it. When I desperately tracked new visitors and growth stagnation in the charts. When I reply to numerous comments (for some reason I still dont get any comments on the blog, so cant track those). When I pimped the links of new posts on social networks and other such places. When I waited desperately to get feedback on what I write from friends and strangers.

Those were good days It was a brilliant week. And that week taught me that I am not as fickle minded as I think I am and once I put my head to something, I can actually do it. Good news for Nidhi Kapoor. I sincerely hope Nidhi does not meet the same fate as the guard of clock tower. In fact I hope that Nidhi would bring the good old guard back to life, if all goes well.

And there is another learning. I got obsessed with writing. Everything else that I spend my time on, ideas, businesses, talking, reading, exploring, surfing , thinking was all put to rest. I was focused on writing. The entire day, I would look for things and ideas that I could write about. And I could not wait for the night to arrive before I pen the thoughts down. Apart from writing, the other two things that have ngrossed me so much were code and poker. Thanks to my MBA, I cant code no more. And thanks to my peanut sized brain, I can not play poker no more.

But, but I can write. No one else can take that away from me. Its a singular activity that requires little or no influence from other factors. I dont need money, I dont need resources, I dont need physical fitness, I dont need a large team. All I need is little motivation and I need Google to research what I am writing about. For something like clock tower, I dont even need to research! I just need to do. To turn up everyday. And ship. A really good friend told me about how Charles Dickens wrote a lot of his work. He would publish things in a periodical and then work on the next chapters. I think I can relate to what he was doing. May be he also needed motivation, push to work. And this was his way to continue writing the longish pieces of texts. Note to self - read the tale of two cities.

Coming back, I need to get back to writing. And start writing lot more. Everyday. 1000 words.

The grand thekas of Gurgaon! - Edit 2

I wrote this yesterday and while I was writing this, I wasnt sure if I liked what I wrote. So I decided that I would re-write it. Here it is.

Meet Salman. He is barely of legal working age and despite not being as famous as his namesake actor, this Salman has a fan following of his own. He is one of those numerous waiters serving guests at makeshift "government approved drinking places", or thekas, in Gurgaon. Thronged by sparsely educated locals and highly educated employees of the multinationals alike, these thekas provide a safe haven for those wanting to indulge in their favorite spirit. And Salman knows his patrons and their whims and he knows how to take care of them.

Salman knows what snack goes well with what kind of alcohol and is quick to give his recommendations. Guests must buy their alcohol from a "government approved wine shop" and then they may choose to sit at these thekas, located often right behind the wine shops. Thekas are so comfortable that they can put cigar lounges at five star hotels to shame. These thekas offer a wide range of options to patrons. From seating in an open courtyard to rooftop seats to air conditioned rooms  to separate enclosures for women to private cabins, they have it all. Of course you need to pay a premium for facilities like aircon and privacy. Not to mention things like cigarettes, lighters, snacks, cuisine from almost all over the world, juices, mixers, ice cubes, glasses and other such paraphernalia that you need when you want to booze.

Salman also has the knack of remembering his patrons by their names and their favorites. He can count about 40 guests that are regulars and Salman knows what would make them happy. This is probably why Salman is so popular amongst patrons at Knight Riders, the theka where Salman works. Even the managers and owners are not complaining as Salman requires far less motivation or supervision while he's working. Salman says he and other waiters, have just two types of patrons - rich Haryanvi villagers and second English speaking office workers. 

The rapid transformation of Gurgaon from a sleepy farming village into the millennium city has given rise to a new community of nouveau riche. These men have sold their farming land to builders and developers as astronomical rates. As a result, there is an entire generation of Haryanvi young men with a lot of money, big cars, too much time and nothing to do. Needless to say in the era of globalization and exposure, these men indulge in "royal" pursuits. Of drinking and gambling. Gambling is still a taboo in India, everyone does it but secretly, drinking is the new social norm. Most evenings groups of these young brash Haryanvi men would head out to a theka and ask someone like Salman to put on some latest bollywood music. Music that would anyway be drowned by the vociferous laughter of these men.

Large parts of the land sold by farmers was turned into commercial and residential properties by the builders. And businesses, both domestic and international buoyed by the India growth story seemed to have an insatiable hunger and capacity for these office spaces. So what probably was once a agricultural land growing wheat, now that a sky scraper, made of steel and glass, that houses thousands of white collar employees. Most of these employees live dysfunctional lives (of India in 21st century) and have a lot of money and time to spend, with their colleagues at informal or formal parties. And more often than not, these groups end up at places like these, and call for Salman to get them their cheese crackers and chicken tikkas.

Funny thing is that all these wine shops are temporary in nature. They are apparently supposed to renew their lease and license every year and despite coming with an expiry date, the owners invest like anything in these wine shops. The decor, the collection, the ambiance, the staff, the service, all of it is at par with any high street shop, if not better. If you want a lesson in visual merchandising, there is no better place to learn about it, than at these wine places. Since alcohol companies cant advertise on mass media, they spend a lot of money on these shops and turn these into their marketing and communication playground.

But despite the temporary arrangement, business is good at these makeshift drinking places. Salman is not complaining. If not for this place, he would probably be an office boy at one of these companies. Here, apart from his salary of Rs. 6000 a month, he takes home as much each week in tips. He says, "On the month ends when most office going people have their pockets full of their salary, I get more tips. I love those days". And while he was reminiscing about those days, he spotted on of his regulars enter the AC room that he tenders to. Beaming from ear to ear, he put his cleaning cloth back on his shoulder and rushed to the table of another patron.

The grand thekas of Gurgaon!

If you've been following this blog and last few updates, here's a piece of news. The deal is off. And this does not mean I would stop writing (I did miss the post day before, I'd try not to miss anymore). 

P.S. To be honest, I dont really like the way I have written this post but here goes. I'd try to re-write this again tomorrow but this is it for the time being.

So today, we had a small party thrown by one of the nicest guys I have ever worked with.

A little background. The place where I work, we have this tradition of throwing parties and bashes for all significant and insignificant occasions. Most of these parties are full of loud music, bucket full of alcohol and dirty jokes on each other. And most of the time we want to save money, so these things happen at home of a colleague. But today, since this party was long overdue and we were partying after some time, we decided to goto some place, rather than binge on food on a make shift table and consume alcohol in an assortment of glass types (you must try drinking beer in wine flute).

Coming back to the party, we went to a place called Night Riders. This is very close to one of the stations of the new Rapid Metro coming in Gurgaon. Rapid Metro in my opinion is yet another fast one pulled on the government and us tax payers by someone. More on it someday later. Right now, I am going to talk about fancy wine shops (or thekas as we know them in India).

They say that Gurgaon is probably the only place in India where you can find a modern wine shop stacked with all sorts of alcohol open at all times of day and night but you can NOT find a chemist if you need one at 1 in the afternoon. Such as the economics of the alcohol venting business in Gurgaon. If you live in Gurgaon, there is no way you would've missed these fancy alcohol shops, selling a wide range of beers, vodkas, whiskeys, rums and other spirits from all over the world.

Funny thing is that all the fancy wine shops have "government approved drinking places" attached to the stores, where you step inside and consume your liquor that you buy  from the theka outside. The drinking places will give you glasses, ice, water, soda, coke etc to mix with your drinks. And they would give you a wide range of choice in cuisine that you want to have. Today, we ordered Chinese, Mughalai, Italian, South Indian and Tandoori food. All from one kitchen and everything as tasty as it could get.

Today was the first time when I went inside one of these. And I was blown by the ambiance and courtesy extended by these places. The waiters and managers there could speak almost perfect English to start with. The place offered excellent seating facilities with a choice of plastic chairs, bean bags, sofas, couches, roof top tables, private cabins, air conditioned rooms and what not. You could sit in an area that was like an open courtyard, or you could sit under a leafy ceiling, or on an area that had mist sprinklers or on an area that had marble grains as floor or ofcourse an air conditioned room. The ceiling of the air conditioned room was done up nicely with an intricate modern arty design. They had a separate loo for men and women. And it was actually called "Men's Loo" and was cleaner than the loos at Ambience Mall. And they had technology like LED lights, karaoke system, DJ mixing console and a projection on a wall, that was playing, pay attention here, that was playing, VH1!

It was something out of a fiction book. In Gurgaon where almost everything is unplanned and there is perpetual construction and dust ever since I can remember (since my MDI days actually), I in my wildest dream could not imagine someone creating a place for consuming alcohol, complete with all these above-mentioned amenities. And I am told that these structures are allocated by the Govt. of Haryana for a period of one year, after which they have to dismantle these and apply for all over again. I am sure that the same set of people get to run these establishments year after year but its just too much effort to come up with a concept and a place like this, if you ask me. Funny bit is that people actually sit at these places and consume liquor and I dont think they pay anything additional to get the convenience and privacy offered by these places.

And for some funny reason, all these approved eating places are named after participants in yet another sham of modern India - the IPL. The thekas are called Night Riders, Royals of Rajasthan, Super Challenger, Dares and Devils et al. Of course all these names cant really be cooked up by multiple brains. If you are the copywriter who has thought of these names, I would love to hire you. Can you send in your CV? We can meet at Knight Riders for the interview, if you want!

Can a visit to Nirmal Baba's Samagam help?

Today I had some free time. I went to my Evernote and looked at all the things that I thought I would do. Going back to 2005. And I reazlied that although I am great at planning, I suck at implmenting. No great surprises here. Thats how I am. But then of all the parkedIdeas and other such conceptual things that were supposed to make me rich, there was something very very real. With goals as tangible as money in your wallet is. The goals around money.

Being an Indian, and a lower middle class Indian at that, money has always been a fascination. Its always at the back of my mind in everything I do. Making money, spending it, wagering it, saving it, looking at it, am constantly thinking about it.

So I thought, I'd make a list of my "tangible" money-related goals over the years and see what I expected an what I got.

And since we are talking about money, I remember most of the numbers. So, without further ado, here is a quick and dirty list. Please note that I am not talking about specifics here. If you are interested, write into me and I would get back.

  • When? aspiration around money
  • When I was a kid and played cricket all day long? nothing
  • When I was in college and wrote awesome code with C? Rs. 10,000 a month (Rs. 120,000 a year)
  • When I read about Bill Gates and got inspired to start something? Richest man on planet
  • When I entered MBA and was told that I could change the world? Rs. 10,00,000 a year
  • When I ended MBA and I realized that time to change the world has come? Rs. 50,00,000 a year
  • When I got my first salary and became the part of rat race? More than what my batchmates were making (Rs. 30,00,000 a year)
  • When I finished 7 years of working after my MBA, having changed 4 jobs, dragging my career alongwith? - Financial Independence (The NPV of my financial independence at INR 1 crores)
  • When I retire? I dont know yet.  

So, I did try and plot this in a chart. This is what I got.

Comparing the aspiration vs actual money, over the years

Like all my analyst friends, I also believe that charts hide more than they reveal. Though in my case a few things are quite clear. Here are these...
  • The greatest jump in my actual money came in when I finished my MBA. After that it has stayed on a steady growth path, except the last few years when it slowed in its growth and has come to a stand still. This may tell analysts that I fucked my career like anything and I am stuck with a glass ceiling.
  • With age, people tend to get closer to their dreams and grow faster. I on the other hand have been going away from my aspirations. My growth has also stalled in the last five years. 
  • My thinking about money changed drastically at three points in my life. One was when I learnt that there is someone called Bill Gates. Two was when I started comparing my salary with my peers (and when they started buying fancy cars, houses etc). And three when I turned 30 (this is when I thought I would chase larger goals in life, rather than a house etc).
  • If I am to bridge the gap between the two lines, I need some kind of a giant windfall gain. Ofcourse I dont have the balls to go loot a bank or something. So it has to be something that I start or something that I could be a part of. Where I put in efforts now and hope that in next five years, when the gap would widen even more, the efforts result into large returns. 
Thats about it for money right now. Does remind me that a pandit, once upon a time told me, I would struggle for money all my life. Half of it is over and looks like the prediction is actually true. I dont know what to do about it. May be I can go and seek Nirmal Baba's blessings at one of this samagams?

Confession. Type B.

There are two kinds of people.

Type A are the ones that believe in doing. Getting things done. Doing things. Actually putting pen to paper and taking action. For them, procrastination is the enemy number one. What ever is available to them, they would work with it. If they are writers and they dont have a table, they would sit on a park bench and write. If they are suffering from writers block, they would force themselves ever harder to write. If they are artists and they dont have the brush, they would make a brush and then sketch and draw. If they are inventors and they are short of tools, they would find an alternative or even go to the extent of making the tool. For them the output is what matters. For them, output is what drives them. They need to see measurable action. They need to get the work out of their system. If its a book, they want to write it and get it published. If its a painting, they want to finish it and hang it on a wall. If they are making a building, they want to finish it and let people occupy it. If they are trying to lose weight, they want to run even if they are barefoot. Of course, all this hurry does not mean that they cut corners. Or they compromise on the output. They still give it their best shot. They are still proud of what they achieve. They would learn from the mistakes and ensure that next time when they're doing it, they dont make the mistake. They would do. They are doers. They are type A.

Then there is Type B. The ones who want to do. Really really want to. Like give an arm and a led to do. The plan is ready. Its all there, but for the tools! Or they wait for the right time. Or the right tool. Or the right setting. Or the right team. Or the right idea. Or the right opportunity. Or the right running shoe. Or the right this, or the right that. Of course if they want so many rights, there are pretty high chances that they would continue to want. They would continue to wait. They would continue to plan. Again there is nothing wrong with this. You need to have fire and log and pot and pan if you are make dinner for yourself. You cant eat your food raw. Right? You can sleep hungry if required but unless you have the salt and the pepper, you cant really eat. Similarly, you need to have the perfect writing desk if have to write your best seller. You have to have the perfect board and perfect paint and perfect brush and perfect lighting and perfect model if you are to get that painting right. After all the work you have planned for will define your life. How can you get that piece wrong? You need to have all the tools and all the perfect tools at that, before you even begin. Its one shot at immortality and you better get it right. The risk of not even attempting that shot is unreal because good things happen to those who wait. Right?

Phew. Enough of a rant. A question now. What type do you think Steve Jobs, Bill Gates are? What type would Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan, Andre Agassi be? What type is your boss? What type is your driver? What type are you?

I dont know about you. But I hereby confess that I know that I am type B. And trust me, I have the perfect writing table and the perfect writing chair and the perfect pen and the perfect room temperature to sit in and the perfect this and that. Just that I dont have the perfect plot! Sounds familiar?

So, I need to quickly become type A, if I am to do any of those millions things that I want to do. Project 1000WADv2 is an attempt in that direction. So far so good.

And as it turns out, I dont really have forever to live!

A ten hour long meeting

Day before yesterday, I started reading this book called ReWork by the founders of the famous 37 signals. There's nothing new in the book to be honest but it had best seller written all over it. Nuggets of one page quick-read "advice", interspersed with motivations "doodles", counter-intuitive tips that can assure success and anecdotes that dont necessarily fit in to the context. Nothing wrong with it. There is a constant demand for self-help books for the entrepreneur types (like me) and these are the people who are living the American entrepreneurial dream. Am sure a lot of people would love this book. I do too. 

So, one of the important themes in the book is about talking less and doing more. And one of the things that, in their opinion, makes you work lesser, is meetings. They say that if you drag 8 people in one hour meeting, its not really a one hour meeting, but its a 8 man-hour meeting. So what you achieve in those 8 hours must be economically worth 8 man-hours. Today I entered a meeting at 11 and came out of it at 9. Of course we broke for lunch, dinner, coffee, pee etc. But the point is, there were seven people in the meeting, for all these 10 hours and there were atleast 5 people on the sidelines. Of course these 5 people are amongst the lesser equals, so their time is not important. But the other 7 people, I think they bill mini-fortunes per hour to their respective companies and by the time today's meeting ended, their companies may be staring at a fiscal crisis, if not a prospect of bankruptcy.

We invested 70 man-hours of effort today in a meeting and I am not sure of the output. I am sure that in 70 hours, I could have done so much more. Here is an indicative list...
  • Drive from Delhi to Mumbai. And back. One of the things on my bucket list, since I can remember.
  • Log in a week full of ten hour days. This means, more than one fourth of my monthly work time.
  • Write a novella. I am working on one and I could easily complete it at the rate of 300 words per hour. This post, 2700 words, took 9 hours.
  • Walk 3,50,000 steps at the rate of 5000 steps per hour. Roughly about 300 KMs. Enough to reach some hill station to escape the heat in Delhi. And burn 17000 calories. Or lose 34 KGs of weight. Wow! I could actually be fit if I spent these 70 hours on myself.
I am sure there are many more amazing things that I could do if I had 70 hours to myself. But no, the job I do requires me to massage the egos and put everyone else's time ahead of mine. And today I read this amazing piece by KK. I can tell you that these 10 hour long meetings and reading people like KK is a bad bad combination. Worse than those alcohol induced tweets about your ex.

And yes, thats it for the day. Until tomorrow...

P.S.: I have stopped using the tag 1000WADv2, because if I am going to write everyday, I dont really need the tag. However if there are times when I dont write, or there are times when I have an announcement, I shall use it.

The Eco Mode 2

Sometime in August of last year I made these two posts. Each of them is worth revisit. A Thursday and as a result, Eco Mode. To save time, Id summarize things here. In those two posts I said that I was very fucked up with how things were moving so slow in life and I needed to do something about it. And to do something, I needed money. And for money, since my dad is not rich, I needed to save. And to save, I needed to stop spending on frivolous things, and hence the eco mode.

Fast forward to May/June of 2013. About nine months since I first spoke about Eco Mode. Not much has changed. Delhi is hotter. I have lost more hair. I haven't stopped splurging and I am poorer than what I was back then, blame it on a few capital expenses. Yesterday I met a friend who just joined a startup and he's getting paid a tiny atomic bomb for his salary. In terms of numbers, he now makes 4 times compared to me. And he and I are classmates. Nothing wrong with it. He probably deserves it more than me. But he did open my eyes to possibilities that exist for me.

So like last time, I have decided that I would get into Eco Mode starting now. And today was a good start. I had to meet a friend and unlike most days when I take my car for any and every meeting, I took the metro. The journey in the metro sucked but it wasnt very tough. I could live with it. Of course I will not do this everyday but its manageable. Idea is to cut down on unnecessary expenses and save as much as I can.

Coming to money, I have just one savings account and just one credit card. I make all my expenses from the credit card, except tolls, parking and other small out of pocket expenses. This ensures that I have a bill for each transaction and I can verify the spends at the end of the month. And of course I get loyalty points that get me free air tickets.

So I want to take a break by the end of the year for a month or so. During that time I want to travel, probably write a book, take it easy. And I have seven six months to go. In the next six months, here are my measurable goals...
  • Save 40% of my income. From all sources. Right now I have one source of income. I need to increase it. Thats my other goal. 
  • Make money from 3 sources. And predictable income at that. 
  • Get monthly credit card bill to 50% of the average of previous six months' bills. 
Thats about it. If I can manage these three, I think I would be in a comfortable enough position to take a break.

Of course what I do with life and career is entirely different all together. More on it during one of these days in the 1000WADv2.

The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Did you like this post? May be you want to read my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story.

Check it out on Amazon or Flipkart?