The other reason could be this ongoing restless in my head. You know how everything is ok and yet you think someone is missing? That!
I mean I have nothing to be alarmed about. Work is not really smooth but I have enough to live in comfort. Health is not the greatest but I am recovering. I am not making an impact but I think I am at this point where I am sort of beginning to accept that I may die an insignificant death. I am not an artist and I don't have the luxury of time to be one. I regret that I wasted so much time while I was young. All those years that I spent chasing dreams for other people were meaningless. The opportunities that I am creating for people that work with me, I wish someone created those for me when I was younger. Ok, enough of a rant.
The funny part is that I am unable to sleep even though I took R14. And I got this head massage last night (that is supposed to help me sleep better). Plus, I am on this non-stop trip to meditate and make my head denser (again, one of the side benefits is that it relaxes you). Plus I ensure that the room is cold enough. But then the mosquitoes did not get the memo I guess. And the demons in my head (if I may call them that) probably got the memo but decided to toss it in the bin. I am sure they would've missed the shot (after all they are in my head).
The good part (of course there is a good part) is that I am at Starbucks. And that means I got some work done. For example, I wrote and sent #SoG100. I am writing this post. I will write a short note on #tnks that I can send to studios for adaptation into a film. Etc etc.
You may ask, if you couldn't sleep, you could've worked at home. Why waste money on travel and expensive, tasteless coffee?
That's the other thing. Despite all my attempts in all sincerity, I have come to realise that I can't work at home. Last two days I have just wasted time on TV like a sloth and ate like a pig.
I MUST spend as less time as I could at home. Before this bout of unwellness (lol), I actually was using my home to merely sleep. Life was following a routine and things would happen on autopilot. Life was that predictable that I was a sitting duck if someone wanted to kill me. But why would they? I am worth nothing.
But thanks to this in and out trip to a life of routine, I now EXACTLY know what they mean when they say that routines set you free. I loved it when I knew that I will be at my desk at wework at 7 and will come back home and sleep once I am done with my work. I could pack in a lot more. I could get so much more done. I had my time to myself and everyone around me could slot their life per my whims. The ones that wanted to meet me, made an effort to fit in. The ones that I wanted to meet, I'd make an effort. Life was good.
All was ok till I went to Goa and fell sick. Since then, I have been stuck with a bad bout of unwellness (lol x 2). Plus I was kinda busy with a project for the last 20 odd days. Now that it is over, I think I will get back to the routine. And will start focusing on the health. Starting today. Let's see how it goes. Step 1 is to get back to a good diet. I will need a few days of detox to get back to good eating habits. I am trying to fast today. I know I can - I ate enough over the last 7 days to actually get a bulge in my belly! All I need is to have enough water.
So yeah. That's about it.
January was a good start.
February was when I got derailed.
Maybe I will be back to grind in March.
Wish me luck.
And until next time...
As I end this, time is 0722. #randomStats