I am unwell. And I hate it.

I am unwell. And I hate it.

I goto extreme lengths to ensure that I am not unwell. Because when I am unwell, I hate it. And I refuse to take medication. So it takes forever to heal get back to normal. Well, the only medication I trust is a can of Red Bull. Which in cases like headache is of no use to be honest. Last time I took a proper medication was in Jan of this year when blood started to trickle down my nose for no reason. The doctor prescribed a seven day course followed by a CT scan. I took meds for exactly two days and CT scan, well lol! Of course I take medication for my Lichen Planus. But that's homeopathy and it is yet to establish itself as science and medication.

Coming back, I am unwell and I hate it. I think I am saying this for the third time. Why would I risk repeating same thing over and over and over again? In a matter of 50 words? Because I mean it.

Lately, I've been falling sick with an alarming frequency. I don't know what to blame it on. Few things that could be wrong are…

1. My old age (32 and past my half-life and prime)
2. My mortal fear of old age
3. The unnaturally big beer belly (despite the fact that I don't like beer. Or any other form of alcohol)
4. My borderline, suspect case of diabetes (I am always thirty, I pee a lot and I am always drowsy)
5. The lame attempts at polyphasic sleep (which in my opinion you just can't try if you live in India - there are far too many distractions and door bells to allow you to do that)
6. The mandatory bouts of depression that every writer is supposed to suffer from (did you buy the book yet?)
7. The anxiety about my unknown, uncertain future (in terms of personal, financial, writing etc)
8. My craving for sgMS (I have spoken about this more than required) 
9. My loneliness (it's prime-time on Valentine's day and all I am stuck indoors, flipping channels on TV)
10. My general inability to focus on anything for more than 3 nanoseconds (ADD or ADHD - whatever sounds more exotic to you)
11. My perpetual hunger even though I have eaten a few minutes back (yoga shastra says eating disorders have deeper connections - you eat a lot when you are insecure about something. The body wants to horde food, expecting a calamity in the near future. After all we are probably the best survival machines ever made. It's fascinating. Do read about evolution if you can)
12. And I don't know what else

Whatever it is, it is not nice. And I don't know how to fix it. Where are those free hugs guys? 

Source: Unknown.