While I was walking back from a station today, I realised something really cool. That now that I am doing ok work-wise and money-wise and I may claim to be a little more stable now, rather than craving for more work, more money, more this or more that, I've been missing #sgMS a lot lately.
Ordinarily when you have work and you are busy, you tend to not have time for things like love. Compared to last year. I did not have too many things on my plate and yet I was ok without her.
Also, I've always been told that once you make your first lakh, you want to make 10 lakhs. And then you want to make 1-crore and then 10 crores and so on and so forth. I have been lucky to have made my first lakh (in savings), and yet I dont have the carrot of 10 hanging in front of me. Of course my ambition is to reach 1 crore in this year and I am committed to it, the first lakh did not make me stare at the 10-lakh number.
Coming back, so why do I crave for her?
May be because, because of all the work, I dont have time to engage in any useless fluff that takes up a lot of time (things like checking FB updates like a maniac, engaging the trolls, stalking the intelligent ones, pimping my book etc.). And thus I am focused on stuff that matter. Work. Her.
May be because, because of all the work, I am spending a lot of time in transit - so there are more rickshaws rides, trains (yes Mumbai local), taxis (not Ubers) and all that. And since I cant work in transit, or read, or do anything productive, I am drifted to her.
May be because I am older and wiser and I know what I want and what I dont? Like Steve says, the dots connect when you look back?
May be deep down, I somehow know that I can provide for her and I thus want to be with her? After all the biggest crib I have had with life all these years is that I was poor and she was not so poor. Not that I am now an equal, just that I am little more comfortable.
May be I am old and know that I have to settle down? (PS this is a change in stand. From a time when I was not willing to listen to even an argument about wedding, now I want her around. For good.
Anyhow, the point of the post is not her. Really. The point is, I realized today that while I am ambitious, I am not greedy. When I become big, I will not become an asshole. When I've made my first crore, I will chase more but I will not be motivated by the next milestone of 10 crores. I will chase more work and grow more and I will give back more (I have two interesting things lined up for this - will talk about them soon).
So, yeah. Thats about it. Of course this is a first-world problem and I am very lucky to have it. Hope the problem continues!
P.S.: Too much information?
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