#Untitled - 17 Feb 2019

There is this ajeeb is sadness and I have no clue why. I wish I had a car that I could take to the hills. Or to the beach. Meet some strangers, get pally with them, talk of new things and not worry about the baggage that I am hiding in the boot of the car. I don't know what's the source of this sadness. Is it that I don't have anyone to hang out with. Or is it my lack of tangible achievements that makes me sad? Or maybe the fact that I've been unwell for last so many days. Or maybe its trip of sad songs that I am on. Really. Sad songs make you sad. Happy songs make you happy. I mean look at Punjabis. All most of their music is happy and they ARE the happiest bunch around.

Or maybe because I haven't written in the last few days. Or maybe because I faced this soul-crushing rejection a couple of days ago. Of course, rejection is not new to me - I have been rejected multiple times in the past for multiple things by multiple people and in multiple situations that were both controllable and uncontrollable. And yet when I play, I want to win. I don't like to lose.

I am not sure which one it is. But one of these is at fault. Or maybe something is at fault that I can't seem to put my finger to. And I don't like it. No, not the sadness. Sadness is ok. That's part and parcel of life. But the fact that I can't put my finger to it :(

I am so sad that I don't even know how to explain it to you.
If it were a colour, it would be what? Pale yellow?
If it were a song, it would be Tanhayee. Or maybe Kyon Main Jaagoon. Or that last scene and the sad riff from Kabhi Haa Kabhi Naa? You know that right?
If it were a cartoon character, it would be snoopy.
And if it were a piece of text, a poem, it would be this!

P.S.: You know the funny thing? On my daily letter (subscribe now), I wrote about how happiness is a great lifehack! Lol! Irony just turned in its grave.

P.P.S.: Wrote this yesterday but couldn't get around to publishing it. I thought it was too depressing. Reviewed today and no, it's not that sad or depressing. 

1 comment:

rathan said...
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