You and I

Faster than my fingers flying on the keyboard to write that long email,
Yet slower than it takes you to read it,

Brighter than the most convincing reason I ever came up with for doing what I did,
Yet dafter than me who actually thought that you would buy that reason,

Taller than the claims of heroics I made after one of those weekend binges,
Yet smaller than my ego when you asked me to say sorry for the gaffe,

Harsher than the decree you passed upon me for being what I am,
Yet milder than the heartburn when I knew the inevitable was about to happen,

You and I are so close,
Yet so far.

To Agra and Back

No, I dint click this pic. Image credits: Stuck in Customs on Flickr

Just came back from Agra. This was my second (or maybe third) trip to Agra. And no, I did not see Taj Mahal or Fatehpur Sikri. However, I did did crib about bad traffic, fog, corrupt cops etc. And like all other visitors to Agra, I bought Panchhi Petha (for a friend) and stopped at a highway for lunch.

If I could have my way, I would make traveling my profession and become a highway-food-inspector cum real-life-landscape-photographer cum driver-of-those-trucks-without-bodies. There is something about sitting out there in open, on make-shift furniture, being served with assorted utensils and yet charged as if you were Dhirubhai Ambani himself. The food, by the way, is strictly average and service, mediocre at best. The surroundings are hardly clean and you are not sure of the ingredients that they put in. And yet you are drawn to highway dhabas as if the key to your salvation lies within.

Everytime you pass a building, staccato houses, farms, people working in distance, you wonder what their lives would be like. If they were as interesting (or mundane) as yours is? If they realized that there is life beyond their fields and little colonies? If they are content and happy with what they have and do? And since they live on a highway, what do they think of people and generations that passed through the highway? After all, all the emperors, kings, entrepreneurs, travelers, sages, adventurers, would have taken these very roads to expand their empires, see the unknown, conquer unseen lands, spread their religion, learn from new things, seek adventure. Do they realize that they are living (and going to die, in most cases) next to the roads?

Every time I am out on the highways, that lead to places of historic importance, I wonder how would life be back then. Would they have those trifle things to worry about that we have? Would they chase money? happiness? hobbies? What would they be doing to kill time? What kind of opportunities were available to them? How did they manage to build such huge buildings without modern tools and machines? What motivated them? Why is that they lived for long without healthcare? They didnt even have Internet (and Google). There are a million questions and no answers are forthcoming.

Anyways, it took us about 5 hours to cover just 200 odd KMs. It was a scratch-free ride for a change (my Santro would be happy :D) . And since I was trapped inside a vehicle for these hours (with few sutta and pee breaks), there were tons of things to think about and realize. For starters, I realized Samsung Corby sucks. Please do NOT buy it even if it is offered for free. BTW, anyone wants to buy mine? Willing to sell it for anything more than INR 5500. I paid 6500. I have the original bill and the phone is not even ten days old. Second, I discovered Pavarotti. I loved the music, the incomprehensible words and the power in his voice. I could draw vivid images of murders in saloons, bank robberies, an old godfather sitting on the top floor in a tall building and steering his vast business empire with a gusto of a young man indulging in sex. I never thought I was the opera listening kinds. But then I was never the red shoe kinds. Its ok to change. Its ok to experiment. Reinvent. The journey like every other journey was full of boring moments and exciting moments. There were times when monotony of being in a car got better of us and we dint speak at all. And then there were those few moments where I sang screamed out the music. Realized how true these lines from Bitter Sweet Symphony are

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die

Every moment we live, every action is for money. Every opportunity to travel is like a break from the routine. Look forward to more such breaks. Planning to drive to Haridwar during this Kumbh. This time, I may want to take @sgElectra for a spin.

Was reviewing this and I figured I suck when it comes to ending the blogposts. Need to do something about it!

Dil to Bachcha Hai Ji

Who else but Gulzar could have penned down words like Dil To Kachcha Ha Ji. Its been long since I saw this awesome a play of words. My new fav song!

Movie: Ishqiya (wiki, IMDB)
Lyrics: Gulzar
Music: Vishal Bhardwaj

Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Walla ye dhadkan bhadne lagi hai
Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
Darr lagta hai tanha sone mein ji

Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji
Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Ra ra ra ..

Kisko pata tha pehlu mein rakha
Dil aisa baaji bhi hoga
Hum to hamesha samajhte the koi
Hum jaisa haaji hi hoga
Hai zor karein, kitna shor karein
Bewaja baatein pe ainwe gaur karein
Dilsa koi kameena nahi
Koi to rokey, koi to tokey
Iss umar mein ab khaogey dhokhe
Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji

Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji

Aisi udhaasi baithi hai dil pe
Hassne se ghabra rahe hain
Saari jawani katra ke kaati
Piri mein takra gaye hain
Dil dhadakta hai to aise lagta hai woh
Aa raha hai yahin dekhta hi na woh
Prem ki maarein kataar re
Taubah ye lamhe katt te nahi kyun
Aankhein se meri hatt te nahi kyun
Darr lagta hai mujhse kehne mein ji

Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil toh baccha hai ji

The music reminds me of the glorious times of Hindi music when instruments were simple and artists were masters of their craft. Must hear for any Hindi music fan.

I dint type the lyrics. I copied em from here.

Random Ramblings on a Runday

Its been some time now that I have abused one of my fundamental rights. The right to freedom of speech. And since I am bored right now with nothing at all to do, here I am.

What do we talk about today? Number of trips to Shipra Mall? Amount of oil/ghee I am consuming with food? My new favorite song? Or the fact that I finally figured where my guitar was? Or about the National flag on my desk? Or that Ganesha statue? Or the gullak that I bought day before? Or about that friend who apparently knows everyone?

Nah not interesting. Should we talk about sugar prices? Or about Amar Singh? Or about Indian hockey team? Who still fail to get to the front page of any national daily? Or about Amitabh Bachchan who manages to become a lead story even if he catches cold?

Or should we talk about all the gyaan that I have accumulated? All those funny ways people abuse emails? Or all the self doubt that has shrouded me in last few days?

Nopes. Not interesting. Damn this post is so not happening.

Ads on War of Words

I know I had said that I would never put ads on this blog. But then, as they say, never say never, Akshay (@akshaysurve) told me about his awesome startup - Ads4Good (@ads4good, FB). And it was so compelling, I had to put a banner.

Please click on the ads on the right.

And please spread the goodness. Its totally worth it. It takes one minute to sign up, another minute to complete the profile and few clicks to embed.

This page has all the details. And no, I am not being paid for this. Though Akshay and I do help each other from time to time on things.

2009: the year that was...

I am at Delhi airport. Waiting to take the flight to Mumbai. Like most thing in my life, there is no agenda for this trip to Mumbai. And like all other things, this trip was planned at the last minute. There are no specifics, no reasons why I wanted to see Mumbai. Only a vague sense of reason and some amount of gut feel. In fact, think of it, most things I do, I do because of these two.

Anyways the idea of the post is recap things that I did in 2009. Mumbai is a different and longish rant. Lets keep it pending for some other time.

So, here is a quick and dirty list of things I did and things I did not in 2009.. In no particular order.

1. I resigned from my job (July). Second resignation in three years post MBA. GE Money and now Creativeland Asia. Both for different reasons. Both times, trying to chase hope and dream big.
2. I did Vipassana (Sep). This is the first time I was quiet for 9 days on the trot. Last time I was this quite, it would have been the time when I was still a toddler and hadnt learnt talking. I am told I took 2 years to start talking. No wonder I am catching up on the lost time by all the talking that I do.
3. I finally took the Mensa test and got the membership (June).
4. I applied for TED fellowship and I did not get it. I knew and still know that I deserve it as much as rest of the 100 fellows who got it. But as they say, life aint no fair. Shall keep trying.
5. I started a company with Kunal (Aug). 10 years after we started working together and dreaming about owning businesses. This one is nothing to write home about but our pipeline is full.
6. I finally started teaching full time (Aug). Although what I teach is inconsequential but it still is addressing a batch of students none the less. And I now know that I enjoy teaching. Need to think more and take this forward.
7. I started writing a book. A piece of fiction. But left it midway for reasons that I dont know myself. I dont even know where those chapters are.
8. I realized that I could be wrong. And more importantly, I realized that its ok to be wrong. As long as you tried.
9. I discovered that I love advertising, media, entertainment, design and technology businesses. Of course I am an outsider, young, incompetent, inexperienced, "un"talented, dreamer, naive et al. Along with these disadvantages and more, I do have all the advantages that outsiders have. I can look at things from unbiased perspective. I can slaughter the sacred cows. I can dare. I can change. I can improve. I am the new.
10. I moved back to Delhi. Though I do miss Mumbai and all the fun I had in Mumbai. Is it the people that I miss? Or the place? I shall never know. It sucks how friends drift apart with passage of time.
11. I got my Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 5S (April). I have been thinking of buying it for about 15 years (not exaggerating). And its one of the best decisions that I have made in my life.
12. I learnt how to fold a paper into a crane (April), juggle three balls at the same time, drive a car, be diplomatic and live with a bald head.
13. I started watching movies (Dec). Of all the ones that I saw in 2009, the Shawshank Redemption impressed me most.
14. Met tons and tons of people. I got their contacts from Twitter, Facebook, MDIJFK, friends, family etc. Most have been helpful. Wish they could actually DO rather than just talking.
15. Discovered the world of Poker (Sep). I am not good as it as yet but I am practicing. Plan to be a part of WPT some day.

And few insignificant numbers (I do love numbers, especially when they are useless).

• 147 - number of blogposts in 2009 till date. At the rate, I should end the year with 150.
• 6 - number of years I have been blogging now.
• 27 - my age
• 1722 - time on my laptop. My flight takes off at 1820. I need to board at 1740.
• 2 - number of bags I am carrying.
  
• 3 - number of tabs I have open on my Google Chrome.
• 126, 415 - number of chips I have on Zynga Poker. And that is what I am going to do till my flight is announced.

See you in Mumbai.

P.S.: Now that I am reviewing the post, I should have done this in a chronological order with months adding to the structure.

The Secret Sauce

Its been quite some time that I have been thinking of what makes people tick. I mean what makes an Aamir Khan make movies and go all out to make them hit? What makes a Manmohan Singh wake up in the morning and go about governing the country? What makes a Sachin Tendulkar go out and hit centuries after centuries? What makes an A. R. Rahman create those soulful melodies? What is it that makes a soldier to toil in extreme conditions and protect our country? What makes a bus driver drive that same DTC bus? What makes a liftman shuttle between floors in a high rise? The liftman, cant even see the sun, the moon or any of those million wonderful things that the world has to offer. What is that makes all my friends and family go about their mundane lives? What the fuck ... what is making me write this? When I know that no one cares what random gibberish I am generating (except Google Ads perhaps) and when I know that I this would serve no purpose. What makes human beings do things they do?

What is the secret sauce? What is their mojo?

The conspiracy theorist in me speculates that it is the want of money, fame, power, sex, acceptance, affirmation or more than one of these, that makes humans do what they do. Like I told a friend yesterday, all this (the life) is a game, we are mere players ("All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players" anyone?). We are chasing things that we think will give us happiness. For some people, its about winning the game. For some its the chase (I belong to the chase category). For some its the mere understanding that they are in the game. And then some, dont even realize that they are in it (till they reach their level of happiness/dissatisfaction).

Apart from this, I havent been able to find an answer. I have been able to spot some patterns though. For starters, the ones who seem to be exited about what they do are redefining things that they do. Warren Buffett. Bill Gates. Steve Jobs. Sachin. Michael Phelps. Name them and you would know that they are the ones that are redefining things that they are doing. They define new paradigms. They change things. They push the human race forward. And more importantly, they know that they are doing it.

And then, correlated it may seem, the thing that they do becomes synonymous with them. Sachin. Batting. Batting. Sachin. Investing. Warren Buffett. Warren Buffett. Investing. So on and so forth.

They dont seem to do it for money. Money comes as a byproduct. They seemed to have spent years honing the art/craft/science. They do what ticks them. They do what they enjoy doing. And by sheer hardwork, they have been able to get so good at it that money has started following them.

And, IMHO, the challenge is not getting good at it. But challenge is to identify it. To understand your "it". Once you know "what", its a matter of "when". I havent been able to identify it as yet. I do have some clues. Do they excite me? Yes, right now, they do. Can I redefine them? I am not sure. Can they define me? I dont know. I am putting together the ingredients for my secret sauce. Mind it, my secret sauce is personal, tastes very different from anyone elses (even different from WEB's, SRT's etc.), satisfies just me and no one else. And most importantly, I relish it. And the best part? Even if I shared the recipe, no one would be able to steal my secret sauce. The taste remains with me.

And that brings me to these three questions. What is your secret sauce? What defines you? What are you redefining?

Review: Avatar

Alert: This is more of a rant than the review.

I just came back from a screening of Avatar. Apparently they spent about 4 years and USD 200 mn on making this movie. And they created software and hardware (cameras et al) specifically for this film. And they had to push the release date so that theaters across the world could install 3d screens. And not to mention the special language and culture that was created for the inhabitants of Pandora.

Avatar probably got more hype than any other movie ever. I have never wanted to watch a film so much. All friends on FB, contacts on twitter and other assorted certified happening people had been raving about it. How could I miss it? And be left out on the impending discussions?

So, coming to the movie, the movie is very long. It seemed like eternity before the intermission came. In one of the scenes, I almost wagered my hair that a rain dance - transparent clothes - romantic song was around the corner. And the movie ended in too much of melodrama.

I do have some questions though. Why is that the hero never dies? Why is that the good always wins? Why is that the hero gets the bet weapons and hottest girl? And finally, towards the end, they allow couple of humans to stay back. Both are men. I wonder ...

Amazing ideas. Brilliant execution. Only thing that lacked was the story and the screenplay. Every kid knows that in the battle between good and evil, good always wins. Even before the movie ended, you could predict that good would win. The predictable could have been made unpredictable but it was too predictable. I could predict the predictable predictable. And that my friends, is a grammatically correct sentence.

In the end, is the movie worth watching? It is. For the colors, images, imagination. Is the movie great? No. Could they have spent those 200 mn dollars and 4 year better? Definitely Yes.

And the best part? Dinner at McDonalds and drive back home!

Wishlist for 2010

Apart from Money, Travel, Peace and Happyness, there are few things that I really want to acquire/buy/steal/own/use in 2010.

• A dictaphone. There are times when I want to take notes. And more than using a paper and a pen, I want to speak them out. Like when I am riding @sgElectra. Or may be when I am about to sleep. A dictaphone can come in handy for all these occasions.
• An Urdu/Hindi/English Pocket dictionary. I so want to learn new words in all these three languages. Wish there was a tool available (apart from wordlists and all that). A good dictionary is one of those few solutions that I have been able to think of. Anything else?
• A point and click basic camera. I really want to revive my photoblog. I know I can click good pictures. I have an eye for interestingness. And at times things that I find interesting catch attention of others. I had a Canon A 75 but its almost dead. Need to buy another one.
  
• An ebook reader. A Kindle perhaps? May be, may be not. I like reading in my free time and an ebok reader saves me weight and time.
• A bag. To carry all of the above.
  

These things are more functional than lifestyle. More to do with randomness and mental masturbation.

What is Therapeutic?

And you know what I find therapeutic? when you are in your car and there is a thin layer of dust on the windscreen, you spray water on the screen and the vipers clean that thin layer of dust. that my friends is therapeutic!

Written originally as a reply to a friends' email.