RIP David Shepard

David Shepard, one of those few umpires who I still remember from the time I was a fan of the game.

You would be missed.

Bash

I bashed my car. Two time in two days. It sucks. Not the dents on the car but the thought that I cant drive it well enough to keep it on the road. And I hate the feeling.

And now I am being irrational. I am thinking maybe I don't deserve to drive. Maybe I am cursed. I am talking like superstitious person. I am tempted to pray to Vishwakara everytime before I touch my steering wheel. Blah.

Poor Santro. I treat her as a step child ever since @sgElectra happened to me.

Anyways, next time on, shall be careful.

Escape Perfectionism

Thanks to HN, I got link to this great post on the Harvard Business blog. Extracting a quote from there ...
Perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them. At the beginning, it's they who aren't ready. At the end, it's their product that's not. So either they don't start the screenplay or it sits in their drawer for ten years because they don't want to show it to anyone.

But the world doesn't reward perfection. It rewards productivity. And productivity can only be achieved through imperfection. Make a decision. Follow through. Learn from the outcome. Repeat over and over and over again. It's the scientific method of trial and error. Only by wading through the imperfect can we begin to achieve glimpses of the perfect.

Am not sure if the tips in the blog work but I could relate the note to my personal experience. Am sure many more would be able to. It took me three years to resign from a day job and start working for myself. All this because I was trying to put everything in place before I took the leap. I dint realize that I can never put everything in place without knowing what to put in place. Feedback loop (+ and -) you see. I was trying not to fail. And as a result, I wasn't even trying.

Any more people trapped in the "perfection" loop, please read the complete blog post. And resign and start up! Remember that shoe company that asks us to just do it?

Crossposted on Cyntax Blog

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Cos its a bitter sweet symphony .. this life.

Love this song. Here are the lyrics and vid ..



Lyrics
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no

Well, I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here with my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no

(Well have you ever been down?)
(I can't change, I can't change...)
(Ooooohhhhh...)

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no

(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(Been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)(Lalalalalalaaaaaaaa...)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)

Lyrics from Lyrics 007.

Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera

Everytime I hear Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera, from Swades, my heart gets heavy. I want to escape. Go travel. Chuck everything behind. Move on. Do something.



Wishful thinking.

Crib Crib Crib Contd

Crib Alert: Higher. Read at your own risk.

Continuing with the previous rant, next on agenda is the society of mutual admiration. I have spoken about this earlier as well. Its funny how it is self propagating till the egos reach an astronomical proportion. Initially cooperating and then eventually competing with each other. Right now, from what I can see, that transition from cooperating to competing has begun. And the games would get only interesting.

Next up is affinity to the Fourth Estate. All the experts, on the Internet, off the Internet, in our minds, in their minds are on one hand proclaiming that they are not here to get famous. And on the other hand, everyone wants their 15 seconds of fame. Even if those 15 seconds are buried on the nineteenth page in the bottom corner in microscopic font, it shall be put highest on the long list of similar achievements.

Achievements is yet another aspect. I have met people who have started three companies and hence they are experts on starting up. All three had to shut down is a different story. Then I have met people who have been blogging for 8 years now and hence they are India's first bloggers. Then I met this girl who is an awesome public speaker and her claim to fame is that she manages a school for the underprivileged. And this in her opinion makes her an authority on NGOs in India. If someone asked her where do NGOs file their returns, she would not know as she is not a "business person". Then my best friend is a property dealer in Greater NOIDA and hes been doing it for about 11 years now. And he thinks he is the next KP Singh. There are plenty of such examples. Reminds me of that book, Extraordinary popular delusions. In this case, they are not really popular delusions, but, personal ones. If Mr. MacKay was alive, I would have pleaded him to write a version.

Last agenda on this long rant is lack of opportunities to broaden my horizon that universities and companies in the west provide in abundance. For us Indians, education is something that you get over with in one stretch (typically end with a MBA, MCA, MTECH, MD etc). And then you start working. Studying for few years, taking a break, working, traveling, cooing back to study et al are alien concepts. If you are 27 and you did your MBA three years ago, sitting at home to figure out your next career step is nothing less than a cardinal sin that even a dip in holy Ganges might not help. One might argue there are people who are doing it now. But what percentage of the population? And why? This is a different tangent all together. Lets not go there.

Coming back, so once I start working, its an absolute no-no to stop, identify/learn/develop a new skill and change your industry etc. Even if I want to remain in the "industry" I am in (we don't look at life and work as separate entities), advancement means promotion. Thats it. We don't care if we advance the industry/profession or contribute something to it. All we want to do is reach the next level, faster than our peers. After all if pados kay sharmaji ka beta is a National Sales Manager at 28, there is no way I can be just a Regional Sales Manager. Universities here shrug you off moment they confer the degree/diploma on you. Universities abroad offer an environment where you can grow. Where you contribute. Where you learn even after you have been awarded that diploma.

Again, have to cut it short. Probably a part three might come soon. Like Moby asked, why does my heart, feel so bad?

Crib Crib Crib

Crib Alert: High. Proceed with caution.

Every person I meet in Delhi, or met in Mumbai while I was there, they start by asking a question. What do you do? And basis of that answer, they would create a character sketch for me and decide how open/close they would be with me while discussing things. So, when I was part of Creativeland Asia, it was far easier to get access to people and their thoughts. I would say that I belong to KM function at CLA and people would be falling head over heals to spill out even their bedroom secrets. Now that I am running Cyntax when I actually say that I am running a small web design business, they shun me out. They even take their websites offline, lest I read em!

I don't understand. Why is it not acceptable to people if you are confused? Or directionless? Or fickle-minded? Or chase dreams? Or have that poetic Bawra Man? I mean its my life. As long as I can deliver what I am promising, why cant they accept me being fickle? Dint these same people yell out in appreciation when Steve asked us to Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish? Or it is that they preach something and practice something else?

I was being a vegetable in my previous job and people thought I was the best thing to have happened to intellectual world since Dilbert!. And now that when I am actually thinking and trying to do interesting stuff, no one sees the pattern in chaos and I am dismissed as one of those million other mom and pop web designers who would work for cheap. GUYS, FOR CHRIST SAKE I AM NOT GOING TO REMAIN A WEB DESIGNER FOR REST OF MY LIFE. ITS A STOP-GAP ARRANGEMENT.

Coming onto the second issue at hand. Prestige. I mean what is it with people on the Internet and their egos? Why cant they for once talk without being diplomatic/political as if I issued them a Miranda ("Anything you say, can or will be used against you in a court of law .. ") before we agreed to speak? They want to be in good books of everyone they meet. I mean that is fine but if you keep doing that then you would some day hit a dead end. No advancements happened in the world when things were in accord. If everyone is content and praising everyone, you promote mediocrity. You return to the mean. You become average.

And what prestige are we talking about here folks? By definition, prestige is what other people think of you. And then not-by-definition, people think of you as something/someone, they say something else (read second issue above) when they meet you, they say something else when they dint meet you, do something else and in effect, something else happens. If I could summarize, prestige is what you think you have created in other people's mind and more often than not, it would not be what you wanted to create.

Guruji says and I concur, everything is temporary, Anichaya. You either move first and fast. Or you perish. (Darwin?). These people need to understand that till the time they hear negative feedback, they cant move ahead. Start accepting things guys. Take criticism well and improve.

Somethings wrong with me or what? Sigh. Waiting for Sweet November (imdb).

P.S.: This is not over. I need to rush for a client meeting. Will come back and add more ;P

The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Did you like this post? May be you want to read my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story.

Check it out on Amazon or Flipkart?