I don't know what to write. There is a lot to be done - both in terms of what people expect from me (reverts, etc) and what I expect from myself (proactive work). But I am not in the frame to do either. Well, the frame is a funny thing. On one hand, you want to make your mood your bitch and get it to act as and when you want it to function. And on the other, you want to succumb to the vagaries of mood and give in. After all, that is what being human is. No? Anyhow. Here we go.
So, I've just moved to a new locality within Mumbai (Andheri West). Even though I have been on and off in Mumbai since 2007, this is the first time that I am living in this part. The first time when I was here, I lived in Santa Cruz. Then I was in Nahar (Chandivali), Bandra, and Ghatkopar. Never in Andheri. I don't know why. Thing is, my choice of houses has always depended on proximity to work and to friends. There's no third leg. I've always sought familiarity and convenience over everything else. And that has meant that a lot of things that you would expect when you change a house haven't happened to me. The best example? Hunt for a maid! Every time I have moved because I have been close to a friend or something, I've had references. If I am in trouble, most times, someone is a hop, skip or a jump away.
Not this time.
The place where I have moved to, I don't know anyone. The only thing familiar is an McD, about 500 meters from my place. And a Starbucks about a KM from my place. And because these places are close by, since I've moved here (about 2 days now), I am walking over. And walking a lot in general.
These walks are reminding me of the time I've spent in unfamiliar locations in new cities in strange countries. Just that I don't have Dipanker next to me. And I don't have an event that I am supposed to execute. But everything else is the same. New place. New experiences. New things to ogle at. New questions. And the quest to find new answers. As I walk in these new lanes, I marvel at the sights and sounds and smells and people around me. Yes, they are Indian, as Indian as you get. But there is something about the place that is different from all the other places that I have lived in Mumbai. Oh, that's the thing about Mumbai. Each pincode offers you a distinct flavor of life.
Ghatkopar is upper-middle class Gujju. That means, "modern outlook with traditional values" and other things like that. Could also mean nouveau riche but you never know. May be they were rich even back then when Ghatkopar was not what is it today?
Powai is expats and expat kinds. That means people who have fancy jobs that allow them fancy lifestyles. The kinds they would have in a different country. You know, cobbled streets, running clubs, gardens et at.
Bandra is cool and modern. That means that any new revolution, a new spark would first get ignited at Bandra and then spread to other parts. I think if you traced back the origins of Avocados, Keto, Kombucha and other such things, you'd end up in one of the tiny lanes in Bandra.
Andheri, ladies and gents is what the maya nagri is all about. The city of dreams. The city that never sleeps. Where everything is possible. You could be hoping to land a job at a radio station and you can become the biggest superstar the world has seen. You could be beach-hopping searching for the love of your life and you'd find her on the very last beach of that day. And then you'd conquer the Bollywood. You could sleep on the floor of cafes for years and then catapult to stardom overnight. You know, this where you could be that bhagwaan in an instant. Your greatest success is just an accident away. And from whatever I know, accidents routinely happen around here. In fact, I think one ought to pick the place they live at, things they do to maximize the number of unplanned interactions with others in the same interest areas. You want to be an actor? Live in Andheri. Want to be a painter? Bandra. A start-up? Powai!
Coming back. Everything written about the magic of Mumbai, I suspect, is applicable to Andheri. Charm could be Bandra. Heritage could be Colaba. Fashion could be Bandra. But Magic has to be Andheri. And nothing else.
Now, I am just about 2 days old here, a tad delirious (I haven't been sleeping well - there's no AC at home) and little lost (people are still unfamiliar). I will explore more in the next few days. Let's see if I can discover what makes Andheri this unique melting pot like no other. In Mumbai. Or may be in India.
Till then, over and out!
Oh, one more thing. Should you have stories that you think are uniquely Andheri, please do share those with me. I am at @saurabh.
PS. The biggest superstar does not live in Andheri. But his life, his story must've inspired a disproportionately large chunk of men and women and others to move to Mumbai, to Andheri. Hoping they'd get a step closer to their dreams.
PPS. This move to Andheri is unique for me because this is the first time I am not doing it for my work or for a friend. Something in me had rebelled against I don't know what and I wanted to sort of restart my life from scratch. This move is the closest that I could do to erase, undo, delete my previous life. No, I can't stop with C4E or AWSL. No, I can't hit that reset button. But I can start. You know, today's the first day of the rest of your life? That. Ok. I don't even know what I am talking about. Over and out. Do lemme know what you think of this piece.
Showing posts with label PeopleWatching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PeopleWatching. Show all posts
The Stories from Mumbai
This idea has been swirling at the back of my head for some months now. I finally found time to write it down! Here it is!
Background
On a recent trip to Helsinki (in Aug 18), I saw this book - People Make The City. On their website, they say its a book "full of stories from the capital’s creative makers and doers. An insiders’ guide for experiencing the local way of life."
And then, on another recent trip to Amsterdam (Oct 18), I saw a similar book. I cant recall the name right now but the idea was same. A collection of stories, ideas, thoughts, photos, places etc that a local at Amsterdam would want to share with other locals.
Both these books were fascinating and had stories that I could never find on a tripadvisor or a Lonely Planet!
And then, on another recent trip to Amsterdam (Oct 18), I saw a similar book. I cant recall the name right now but the idea was same. A collection of stories, ideas, thoughts, photos, places etc that a local at Amsterdam would want to share with other locals.
Both these books were fascinating and had stories that I could never find on a tripadvisor or a Lonely Planet!
And it got me thinking, that we need a similar book for various cities in India. If not all the cities, then for Mumbai, Goa, Bangalore, Jaipur, Agra and Delhi for sure. Thats where most travellers and tourists land up. And the book would do well as a guide, as a companion, as a souvenir, heck as a collection of postcards!
The idea
So, what if we compile and curate a collection of stories from the city of Mumbai (to start with) and make those available in shape of a book?
If not anything else, the book will be a conversation starter.
The book will showcase our city, in a way the city has to be experienced.
The book is an opportunity to connect with the locals.
The book is a great piece or art to have in your home!
Its a great gift to someone new.
Its the perfect take-away for people new to the city.
In one line, the book will help build a community!
How is it different from those hundreds of blogs, websites, books and magazines?
It is not. Those blogs probably do a better job!
The book is not meant to make commercial sense. I dont want to make money with it.
This is a book that I wish to do because I want to experience the cities like the locals. I want to walk down the Marine Drive with one of the locals and listen to her stories of the city. I want to sit at an Irani Cafe and hear the owner reminisce about a time that is gone. I want to be at Shivaji Park and see those hundreds of kids hoping to score hundreds of runs for India. I want to live the life of the hustlers of Versova and experience the agony and the anguish and the ecstasy that they go through as they find their way in Bollywood and someday inspire the very same emotions in their audience. And more. So many more!
In one line, this book is for me!
I want to listen to the stories.
And I want to share these stories with whoever wishes to listen.
That's it!
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Oh, and no. I dont intend to make money with this. If there are any monetary gains, I pledge to donate those to institutions that work towards making the city a better place.
Ok. How would you go about it?
For starters, I need access to following "types" of people...
A. People who'd want to tell stories of their love for the city.
Because without the stories, there is nothing.
B. People who can enable the book (writers, designers, photographers, printers etc).
Because once I have the stories, I need to bind them into a book!
C. People who may want to read this book.
But since I am assuming that I am the only reader! So this is sorted :)
I know its a tough one. Who would want to write for no expectation of any money? Heck, I dont want to engage anyone if I cant pay them. After all the book is being written for me! And with the kind of money I have, how do I enable this? I dont know. But I will find a way.
What all stories do I want to include?
For the time being, for the Mumbai edition, I am looking for people that love the city of Mumbai. And like the cliche goes, the city must run in their blood. Simple.
The stories must inspire me.
The stories must make me jealous of their relationship with the city!
They may or may not live here.
They may or may not have a story with a twisted arc.
They just need to have a perspective that is worth spending time on.
In fact as I write this, I can think of a few people that fit the bill.
There is this lady on twitter. The posts that she makes about the city of Mumbai, I want to somehow become friends with her and implore her to tell me of what goes into her head when she's taking those pics or writing those words.
There is this person I know who was head of marketing with one of the leading companies in the country and then he quit to start a walking-tours company in Mumbai.
And then there is this junior from college who runs a chain of hostels in Mumbai and Jodhpur!
Apart from these three, I am sure I can get access to scores of people who'd have unique stories to share, unique experiences that a traveller ought to seep in! I just need to find them and get them to help me.
Help me showcase the great city of Mumbai to the ones that are new! Please!
Finally,
What do you think of the idea?
Would you want to read a book like this?
Who all do you think I should approach to work on this book?
How can the book be designed?
What structure could I give to the book?
What could the book be called? I suck at naming things!
Or, is the idea shitty and have been done to death?
I need to get a life?
Whatever. But please do tell me. Comments are open. And I am at Saurabh.
Thank You!
The Reputation Research
Last few days, a few things have happened that has made me re-think my love for visual anonymity. Lemme quickly talk about the incidents.
1. Last Saturday (or was it Sunday?) I accompanied a friend to an open mic night. The idea of open mics is pretty simple. You are an aspiring stand up comic. But because you are aspiring, you cant gather an audience. Along with other standups, you get in a room, invite your friends and use them as Guinea Pigs to practise your jokes. I was one such Guinea pig. Plus, often, places that give you access to a quite room and a mic and AC tend to be expensive. So you get friends to pay and the friends, because they are friends, bear the bad jokes and help you cover the cost!
So, I went with a friend. There were some 30 odd people, about 10 performers. Each person gets 4 minutes to perform a set. And audience gets all the time to react!
Most of the performers were very average. May be they are average performers. Or may be they were trying new material that required practise. Irrespective. It took balls to be able to stand in front of the crowd and deliver a piece that you know is going to bomb!
2. I met Komal the other day. I told her about my dislike for dressing up for the occasion. She said that I ought to think like an actor and each interaction as a role. Like there are different roles, each dictated by a different situation, life encounters are different and they demand a different approach. And each role demands a different piece of content to be delivered. And if you are going to act and make people believe, you better know how to pull various roles off! After all, in life, newer roles come along all the time on an ongoing basis!
In my case, I am an actor and when I work, I ought to play the work role. Which I suck at. All this while I have been playing my personal role at scenes that demand me to play a certain role - work, social, gathering etc. So may be, I need to re-think and change. Or may be I want to be a Steve Jobs where I wear the same thing over and over and over again till that becomes as irreplaceable as my name? Or may be I need to identify certain archetypes, practise them like crazy and then put those archetypes in various roles. Or may be something else. Lets see.
3. I presented my company creds on a stage where I had some 30-40 people in audience. I had a great deck to present and I have used that deck at multiple places in the past and have got great reception. But all those times have been in the boardroom. This time, it was on stage. And it sort of bombed! Not bombed per se. People did recall seeing it. But they were not blown away with what I had presented.
Thing is, I want to be able to create a reality distortion field when I talk to people! Of course I dont have a product like Steve Jobs. Neither did he for that matter. But he had something that I definitely dont have! I need to identify and work on that!
4. Mihir talked me into doing a video podcast. That means I now have a video (43 minutes long) where I am talking about life and philosophy and raison d'etre and other such things. Now, to be able to do justice to the effort that is going in, we need to push it out and market it like a bitch. And that will mean that my notions of closely guarding my pics / video on the very permanent Internet is under heavy questioning.
...
So, now that I have captured these four things, the real reason for the outburst is hence.
As I get along in life (read, I am supposed to take on larger responsibilities), I am realising more and more that to be able to get things done, I need to have a reputation.
Reputation is a complex "thing" and its often a combination of things like association (with people, things, brands etc), popularity (read personal brand where you are known by people outside of your third degree), experience (in terms of years you've worked, things you've done etc), expert status (in chosen field of expertise), contacts (how many famous / rich / powerful people you know? Who has saved your number? Who will pick your call in less than 4 rings etc), performance (when you go up on stage to perform a stand up act or you are expected to perform in a certain way depending on the societal context or when you are making a presentation or when you are peddling gyaan) etc. You get the drift? You now know where I am coming from?
The funny thing is while all my life I have been aware of this, I have shied away from it. To date I have issues in talking to people where I dont have a context. I cant seem to hold a conversation with a client if there is no work. Compare this to a lot of people who are by default agony aunts for every Tom, Dick and Harry. In fact in my previous organization, there's this lady, lets call her A, who has this knack of befriending everyone in the very first conversation that she holds with them. And from there on, by the time A meets someone for the second time she is thicker with these people than their respective best friends for 100 years! And who do you call if you have to commission a new event? Of course your new best friend!
I am not saying that I ought to be as slimy as A but the point is that your reputation is super important and having great people skills is the starting point! Which I lack.
So may be, the reason I am unsuccessful is because I dont have the social skills to succeed? I cant work on the way I look but I can change the way I dress up and all that. And then top if off with some level of polishing.
Any help anyone?
PS: unless, you are someone who is happy being yet another employee is a large organization, making agreat fat paypacket, this post may not be a good idea to read. This is counter-intuitive and is meant for hustlers. Are you one? Lets connect and help each other!
1. Last Saturday (or was it Sunday?) I accompanied a friend to an open mic night. The idea of open mics is pretty simple. You are an aspiring stand up comic. But because you are aspiring, you cant gather an audience. Along with other standups, you get in a room, invite your friends and use them as Guinea Pigs to practise your jokes. I was one such Guinea pig. Plus, often, places that give you access to a quite room and a mic and AC tend to be expensive. So you get friends to pay and the friends, because they are friends, bear the bad jokes and help you cover the cost!
So, I went with a friend. There were some 30 odd people, about 10 performers. Each person gets 4 minutes to perform a set. And audience gets all the time to react!
Most of the performers were very average. May be they are average performers. Or may be they were trying new material that required practise. Irrespective. It took balls to be able to stand in front of the crowd and deliver a piece that you know is going to bomb!
2. I met Komal the other day. I told her about my dislike for dressing up for the occasion. She said that I ought to think like an actor and each interaction as a role. Like there are different roles, each dictated by a different situation, life encounters are different and they demand a different approach. And each role demands a different piece of content to be delivered. And if you are going to act and make people believe, you better know how to pull various roles off! After all, in life, newer roles come along all the time on an ongoing basis!
In my case, I am an actor and when I work, I ought to play the work role. Which I suck at. All this while I have been playing my personal role at scenes that demand me to play a certain role - work, social, gathering etc. So may be, I need to re-think and change. Or may be I want to be a Steve Jobs where I wear the same thing over and over and over again till that becomes as irreplaceable as my name? Or may be I need to identify certain archetypes, practise them like crazy and then put those archetypes in various roles. Or may be something else. Lets see.
3. I presented my company creds on a stage where I had some 30-40 people in audience. I had a great deck to present and I have used that deck at multiple places in the past and have got great reception. But all those times have been in the boardroom. This time, it was on stage. And it sort of bombed! Not bombed per se. People did recall seeing it. But they were not blown away with what I had presented.
Thing is, I want to be able to create a reality distortion field when I talk to people! Of course I dont have a product like Steve Jobs. Neither did he for that matter. But he had something that I definitely dont have! I need to identify and work on that!
4. Mihir talked me into doing a video podcast. That means I now have a video (43 minutes long) where I am talking about life and philosophy and raison d'etre and other such things. Now, to be able to do justice to the effort that is going in, we need to push it out and market it like a bitch. And that will mean that my notions of closely guarding my pics / video on the very permanent Internet is under heavy questioning.
...
So, now that I have captured these four things, the real reason for the outburst is hence.
As I get along in life (read, I am supposed to take on larger responsibilities), I am realising more and more that to be able to get things done, I need to have a reputation.
Reputation is a complex "thing" and its often a combination of things like association (with people, things, brands etc), popularity (read personal brand where you are known by people outside of your third degree), experience (in terms of years you've worked, things you've done etc), expert status (in chosen field of expertise), contacts (how many famous / rich / powerful people you know? Who has saved your number? Who will pick your call in less than 4 rings etc), performance (when you go up on stage to perform a stand up act or you are expected to perform in a certain way depending on the societal context or when you are making a presentation or when you are peddling gyaan) etc. You get the drift? You now know where I am coming from?
The funny thing is while all my life I have been aware of this, I have shied away from it. To date I have issues in talking to people where I dont have a context. I cant seem to hold a conversation with a client if there is no work. Compare this to a lot of people who are by default agony aunts for every Tom, Dick and Harry. In fact in my previous organization, there's this lady, lets call her A, who has this knack of befriending everyone in the very first conversation that she holds with them. And from there on, by the time A meets someone for the second time she is thicker with these people than their respective best friends for 100 years! And who do you call if you have to commission a new event? Of course your new best friend!
I am not saying that I ought to be as slimy as A but the point is that your reputation is super important and having great people skills is the starting point! Which I lack.
So may be, the reason I am unsuccessful is because I dont have the social skills to succeed? I cant work on the way I look but I can change the way I dress up and all that. And then top if off with some level of polishing.
Any help anyone?
PS: unless, you are someone who is happy being yet another employee is a large organization, making a
The pursuit of 2K followers on twitter
You see, at the time of writing this, I am followed by 1964 people on twitter. And I want to reach the magical number of 2000. The chase of 2k as a number looks very scary. A brief
- I am not a wedding/event/fashion/animal/amateur/etc photographer. Am dont even talk about my flickr stream and I dont have a Facebook page where people can "fan" or "like" me. And since I have a Blackberry, I cant use Path or Instagram or Pinterest or one of those fancy services and talk about them.
- I am not an entrepreneur and thus I cant ask all my employees and friends and relatives and neighbors to follow me and help me get more clients. And then once I get those clients, talk about how I made a difference to the life of the goldfish of client's wife's sister.
- I am not funny. Not even remotely. Period.
- I am not a social media expert. And that means that I have no opinion on anything. And that means that I cant pass fleeting comments encompassing everything from the beginning of time and then relate those to why I should be tweeting this or that. And I cant thus take a jab at folly of brands and businesses.
- I refuse to engage in various gimmicks that brand manager plan and throw out as bait to the unsuspecting twitter users so that they could report that their brand is followed by a million people etc.
- I am not interested in IPL. Its just too much for my peanut sized brain to be honest. There is overload of everything. Information, excitement, jealousy, anger, confusion etc. Name an emotion and IPL has that in abundance. And I cant process that. And that means that since I dont tweet about how IPL is causing a war in my family because everyone supports a different team, I wont be featured by a TV channel and I wont become famous and I wont have new followers.
- I refuse to participate in trolls. Ofcourse I use a million hashtags but I dont think I have participated in #whenIWasYoung, #itHappensInIndia, #IPL, #kfBeerUp etc. And as a result I dont make friends on twitter and otherwise. (note to self, talk about Kingfisher in a separate post)
- I am not a journalist. Yet. And as a result I dont have people trying to make friends with me, hoping to get free passes to IPL and other such dos.
- I dont booze and thus I dont have my timeline full of drunk tweets abusing everyone for everything.
- And finally, I am not a celeb. I am not a film actor (not even an extra), I am not a cricketer (even of yesteryears), I am not a CEO of a large business group (not even a startup), I am not a VC. And as a result I am stuck at 1964!
And then why would you want to chase 2K followers? Well, its a good number and I want to put that on my CV. And more people who follow you, more opportunities to know new things! And who knows, I may even get famous some day?
Guess this is it for a Sunday rant! I just hope that this post helps me reach the magic number. And if not that, at least does not make some of those 1964 unfollow me!
And no, this post is not part of Project 1000. Not yet.
Before - After
So, at the cost of making a few sweeping generalizations, here are a few things I noticed about gyms and people in gyms.
- Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fittest of them all. I have no clue how other gyms are designed but this one has mirrors all over. The reception, the loos, the shower area. Even the ceilings. I wonder how they missed the floors. Anyways its like a mini glass house. Of course everyone like those mirrors and there has to be some secret exercise that requires you to stare at your reflection for long durations. Because everyone, including the coach and the supervisor, would go find their sweet spot in front of a mirror and flex their muscles. To the point that the entire work area is empty and you could play cricket there if you had to. Note to self. Ask the coach about the secret exercise next time I go to the gym.
- Six pack. Eight pack. I thought that wave that swept the entire nation in the six pack abs frenzy is more or less gone. How wrong I was. I see more people doing crunches and abs than there are statues of Mayawati Ji in Uttar Pradesh. And they are serious about doing abs. And in fact whatever time they are left with after stating at themselves in the mirror, I reckon they spend bulk of it on their abs.
- Tattoos are more important that anything else if you want to show off. No one, I repeat NO ONE is sexy enough unless they have a tattoo with an obscure meaning that only they or the tattoo maker knows about. And more obscure the meaning, better it is. After all we need some fodder for conversations. And to add to it, the more obscure place the tattoo is, better it is. You can then nonchalantly show off the tattoo. Like if its on your ankles, you may remove the shoes and wear some bright chappal. Get attention to the chappal and the ankle and thus the tattoo. More subtle you make it, better it is.
- Eat your supplements. Fruits. Fancy colored waters. Soya. Raw meat. Think of the most obscure thing that you could subject your taste palette and abdomen to. I think more than fitness they want to test their abdomens and gastric acids. Everyone comes with a small duffel bag stuffed with the choicest delicacies. Including raw fish!
Dear Girl in Blue Dress
Dear Girl in Blue Dress,
I am so sorry. I was in the same coupe as you were in. I was there when those men intruded on your personal space and dared to touched you. I saw your Dupatta being pulled away. I saw you crying. I saw that despair in your eyes. Your eyes were searching for help in that crowded metro coupe and they infact had briefly met mine. I looked into them, gave them my sympathies and then diverted my attention on my ipod, pretending to search for the next song that I wanted to hear. Ofcourse I was pretending and I was still aware of what was happening to you. I told myself, what every other man would have told himself, that I dont know you and hence what was happening to you, was not my problem.
I know that I am proud to be a male. I am chivalrous when with womenkind. I am courteous when I am with elders. I am loud when I am with girlfriend. I am protective when I am with my sis. And yet, I am indifferent, with every other women. I dont even consider that more than all these superficial relationships defined by us, you and I share, a stronger and bigger relationship. HumanKind.
I know we are the men of Anna. We have taken loud pledges against corruption on public forums, and in person we dont mind paying that ten rupee note to get things done faster. We pledged with Anna and we joined him for his fast, and post that we went to fancy restaurants to party and debate on things happening around us We went to India Gate with a candle in our hand, and post that raced our bikes around that very India Gate, a little high, on alcohol and pride. Rather that all these fancy things, a mere act of helping you would have elevated me higher than any other deed.
I am sorry. For not having the balls to act and stop those men. I can ofcourse give a lame reason that there was just too much crowd to do anything. I can even say that since I did not know you, why should I get into trouble. But end of the day, my inaction cant be justified. And of all those men who were meek spectators. What troubles me the most is that some were secretly enjoying the act as well. I wish I could slap some sense into them. And you know, I dont think I even I have the right to comment on them.
I just want to tell you that Delhi is not what you think we are. We are not rapists and we know our limits. There are some people who need a life and I am extremely sorry for letting things happen to you.
And I hereby promise that next time I see something like that happening, even if I dont know the woman, even if I am outnumbered, even if I am handicapped, I would do my bit to help you. I promise.
And once again, I am really sorry. I am sincerely ashamed.
Apologies,
An Ashamed Delhite.
Inspired by an incident that a friend had to go through while traveling by Delhi Metro. And this is from and for all those men who just stood like meek spectators. Would I have done anything about the incident? May be not. But I shall, next time it happens in front of me.
I am so sorry. I was in the same coupe as you were in. I was there when those men intruded on your personal space and dared to touched you. I saw your Dupatta being pulled away. I saw you crying. I saw that despair in your eyes. Your eyes were searching for help in that crowded metro coupe and they infact had briefly met mine. I looked into them, gave them my sympathies and then diverted my attention on my ipod, pretending to search for the next song that I wanted to hear. Ofcourse I was pretending and I was still aware of what was happening to you. I told myself, what every other man would have told himself, that I dont know you and hence what was happening to you, was not my problem.
I know that I am proud to be a male. I am chivalrous when with womenkind. I am courteous when I am with elders. I am loud when I am with girlfriend. I am protective when I am with my sis. And yet, I am indifferent, with every other women. I dont even consider that more than all these superficial relationships defined by us, you and I share, a stronger and bigger relationship. HumanKind.
I know we are the men of Anna. We have taken loud pledges against corruption on public forums, and in person we dont mind paying that ten rupee note to get things done faster. We pledged with Anna and we joined him for his fast, and post that we went to fancy restaurants to party and debate on things happening around us We went to India Gate with a candle in our hand, and post that raced our bikes around that very India Gate, a little high, on alcohol and pride. Rather that all these fancy things, a mere act of helping you would have elevated me higher than any other deed.
I am sorry. For not having the balls to act and stop those men. I can ofcourse give a lame reason that there was just too much crowd to do anything. I can even say that since I did not know you, why should I get into trouble. But end of the day, my inaction cant be justified. And of all those men who were meek spectators. What troubles me the most is that some were secretly enjoying the act as well. I wish I could slap some sense into them. And you know, I dont think I even I have the right to comment on them.
I just want to tell you that Delhi is not what you think we are. We are not rapists and we know our limits. There are some people who need a life and I am extremely sorry for letting things happen to you.
And I hereby promise that next time I see something like that happening, even if I dont know the woman, even if I am outnumbered, even if I am handicapped, I would do my bit to help you. I promise.
And once again, I am really sorry. I am sincerely ashamed.
Apologies,
An Ashamed Delhite.
Inspired by an incident that a friend had to go through while traveling by Delhi Metro. And this is from and for all those men who just stood like meek spectators. Would I have done anything about the incident? May be not. But I shall, next time it happens in front of me.
Aug 18: The Twitterati. 10 steps that can help you become one.
So there are few people who use twitter that well that they are now called the twitter celebrities. Or twitterati for short. They are as ubiquitous as Amitabh Bachchans of the world. In fact a time is not far when these twitteratis would actually start appearing in those soaps and give Ekta Kapoor and Colors a run for their money. And like all other kind of celebrities, these guys leave an indelible mark on the fabric of the society we live in.
I was so impressed by their mere existence that I thought I need to give them more time and attention. I in fact spent some time running an analysis and figuring out what separates an average twitter use and a twitterati. Of course since my “study” was conducted over twitter users in India, these may not be applicable to everyone. But I think the underlying principles shall remain the same.
Here are few rules that I put together in a hurry, which may help you realize your lifelong dream of becoming a twitterati.
Thanks,
@altSaurabh
This is day 18 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.
I could have called this post as 10 ways of putting Anna Hazare's name in a blog post, without letting people know. But then I thought the readers of my blog (the sole reader) is intelligent enough to guess that! Time for a question. Did you?
I was so impressed by their mere existence that I thought I need to give them more time and attention. I in fact spent some time running an analysis and figuring out what separates an average twitter use and a twitterati. Of course since my “study” was conducted over twitter users in India, these may not be applicable to everyone. But I think the underlying principles shall remain the same.
Here are few rules that I put together in a hurry, which may help you realize your lifelong dream of becoming a twitterati.
- Drop the words Anna and fast in the same tweet and you have taken the first step towards becoming famous.
- Step two is even simpler. Pick on a famous personality and post a provocative comment. May be against Anna only. Dont know how to come up with an original rant? Search twitter for it! And once you have posted that comment, dont budge. You need to ensure that debate follows and the world is divided into two kinds of people. One, who are with you and the other, who arent.
- Third, though, this is tough, but knowing a celeb would help. He could be your neighbors’ best friend’s classmate’s distant cousin, but hey there is a connection. Anyways everyone is connected to everyone else by just 6 hops. Or may be 5 or 4 as enabled by the Internet. So in theory, Amitabh Bachchan knows me. So does Kofi Annan. And Sachin Tendulkar. And Anna. And his fast. Ofcourse I know them as well. And you ;P (Note to readers: See, how easily I dropped the two keywords here).
- Fourth. Proclaim the greatness of new media and effectiveness of the online medium over the traditional media. Look at the way twitter has helped Anna talk about his cause. Take a potshot at leading media outlets as if they have defamed the country by their mere existence. And yet at every opportunity to suck up a reporter, of even a Punjab Kesari or a Times of India, thou shalt bend over and invite em! I call this backrub algorithm. You rub mine, I rub yours. Goes a long way. Trust me.
- Tweet to Anna and all the bollywood and cricket celebrities once every hour, as if they owe you money and you are chuddi buddies since your mothers were pregnant. Irrespective of if they reply or even bother. After all success is 1% genius and 99% perspiration.
- Retweet every inane request that you get from other aspiring twitterati (remember the backrub?). These retweets could be jokes, blood donation requests, classifieds, gathering of support for Anna or whatever. Of course at first if people dont, you send them direct messages and then keep sending till the time the phone runs out of memory or money.
- Download a good collection of double meaning jokes and comments. And use a bot to post a joke once every 15 minutes. This will help you remain on top and despite the fact people find your comments awful, they would not have a choice but to take note. Of course the double meaning bits would sound offensive to some communities and people but then its a democracy that we live in. You have the right to freedom of speech. Look at Anna. And look at the way I have dropped his name, yet again in the post.
- Yet another sure shot way is to take up a cause. Like stand up for Anna. Every tweet that you post could have a reference to the great mother of the nation (I mean we have one undisputed father in MKG. I think Anna and Mumma have a nice ring to it.
- Use hashtags. #evenIfTheySoundStupid. #evenIfTheyAreUseless. #popular #great #iAmAnna #BharatMeriJaan #annaIsSexy so on and so forth. More hashtags you use, better it is for you.
Thanks,
@altSaurabh
This is day 18 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.
I could have called this post as 10 ways of putting Anna Hazare's name in a blog post, without letting people know. But then I thought the readers of my blog (the sole reader) is intelligent enough to guess that! Time for a question. Did you?
Aug 14: Maid in India
Apart from being a mere domestic help, maids in India play myriad roles.
The chief one being the unofficial communication channel between women of a particular locality. This unorganized and apparently rag-tag channel is infact better and faster than most of the other traditional medium. Even the breaking-news-by-the-minute tv stations. In fact, more than mere messengers, these maids are like clearing houses for all the gossip. It also helps that these maids often come with life time warranty and terrabytes of gossip storage capacity. They can store specific pieces of gossips for decades and retrieve it at any later date with an uncanny ease. You can nudge them on shoulders and drop unconnected word and they would weave a story around it. The impact they have had on the peace deserves some gallantry award. At times, its this intervention of maids that has prevented those intra-locality battles.
Then, these maids often serve as advisers to our housewives. Ask them about cheapest grocery store around, ways to clean those ziddi daags, projection of gold prices over the next ten years, plots of ANY of those million saas bahu soaps (where the story, the richness and fancy clothing remains the same), reasons for corruption in India, spat between Ambani brothers, performance of Dhoni and his boys (and grown up men) in the test series against England and all other things that a woman of substance should be knowing.
Coming closer to home, all those times when you thought that your wife made that extra spicy gravy, the way you like it, it is your maid at play. Every time you spill that gravy on the cushions, and you thought your daadi maa ka nuskha shall clean it, its the maid. She is the one that ensures that your pot is clean. She is the one to wipe and dust those shiny surfaces that you otherwise know as television, ref, music system etc. She is the one who would more often than not carry your letters (if you still get those) up to your place. She is like that invisible hand that you always wished you had!
Of course our dear maid is one those those unsung heroes who end up remaining anonymous, not because their contributions are miniscule, but because they always work under the shadows of larger, more powerful allies. Its time we give them their rightful share of respect that they have always deserved. Lets stand for them. Lets do that candle night vigil, that walk to Jantar Mantar. Any anna's, bedi's, political parties want to take lead?
This is day 14 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.
Once upon a time, I used to be an account planner with an advertising agency. I may have actually used this as a briefing document for the creative team. Gosh, I miss those days!
The chief one being the unofficial communication channel between women of a particular locality. This unorganized and apparently rag-tag channel is infact better and faster than most of the other traditional medium. Even the breaking-news-by-the-minute tv stations. In fact, more than mere messengers, these maids are like clearing houses for all the gossip. It also helps that these maids often come with life time warranty and terrabytes of gossip storage capacity. They can store specific pieces of gossips for decades and retrieve it at any later date with an uncanny ease. You can nudge them on shoulders and drop unconnected word and they would weave a story around it. The impact they have had on the peace deserves some gallantry award. At times, its this intervention of maids that has prevented those intra-locality battles.
Then, these maids often serve as advisers to our housewives. Ask them about cheapest grocery store around, ways to clean those ziddi daags, projection of gold prices over the next ten years, plots of ANY of those million saas bahu soaps (where the story, the richness and fancy clothing remains the same), reasons for corruption in India, spat between Ambani brothers, performance of Dhoni and his boys (and grown up men) in the test series against England and all other things that a woman of substance should be knowing.
Coming closer to home, all those times when you thought that your wife made that extra spicy gravy, the way you like it, it is your maid at play. Every time you spill that gravy on the cushions, and you thought your daadi maa ka nuskha shall clean it, its the maid. She is the one that ensures that your pot is clean. She is the one to wipe and dust those shiny surfaces that you otherwise know as television, ref, music system etc. She is the one who would more often than not carry your letters (if you still get those) up to your place. She is like that invisible hand that you always wished you had!
Of course our dear maid is one those those unsung heroes who end up remaining anonymous, not because their contributions are miniscule, but because they always work under the shadows of larger, more powerful allies. Its time we give them their rightful share of respect that they have always deserved. Lets stand for them. Lets do that candle night vigil, that walk to Jantar Mantar. Any anna's, bedi's, political parties want to take lead?
This is day 14 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.
Once upon a time, I used to be an account planner with an advertising agency. I may have actually used this as a briefing document for the creative team. Gosh, I miss those days!
Aug 07: Re-living Mr. India
"Kamra. Kamre kay aage balcony. Balcony kay aage garden. Garden kay beach. Beach kay aage samunder. Samunder main pani". So said the great Anil Kapoor, before his Slumdog, 24 and MI4 days. He was peddling a room to the lead actress of Mr. India and describing in vivid detail, the beauty of the room and the view.
Am at Goa right now, waiting for a meeting to happen. And while the client wakes up from her deep slumber, I am idling away my time at this amazing place.
Goa is a coastal state and is hence dotted with beautiful beaches. Here, beer is cheap, women come by scores, poisons easy to find and time, all the time to while away pursuing intellectual conversations and thoughful ramblings. Goa is a classic example of a place where time moves slow and things happen at a leisurely pace. You could choose to gape at the ocean, drowning in the sound of its music, wondering about that lone boat that you see docked in the horizon. Or you could choose the walk on the beach, feeling the sand, waves kissing your feet and whispering those unexplainable messages, as they come and crash against your feet. From your vantage point, you could also choose to let your gaze follow that beautiful lady in red, walking on the beach and paint a picture of her life in your head. Like this woman am looking at, she must be one of those MBA types, she's moving in a straight line, at the exact place where waves just end. Very calculated, precise, sure. She would be single. I don't see any signs of commitment. And at the pace she's walking, she is not in any sort of hurry to go anywhere. She is content by herself, the way she's hugging herself. Probably the serious kinds. I have been seeing her move around for a while and she is yet to kick some water or bend down to pick those shells. Obviously well to do, as evident from her taste, clothes I mean. Probably here to take refuge from corporate jungle that she lives in. Am wondering if I should go and try my hands at being the kamra salesman and see if I can make an offer she can't refuse. But then, the question remains, is she looking for a kamra, with all those benefits that we spoke of in the beginning?
And yep, in the movie, Mr. Kapoor, aka Mr. India, did manage to sell the room to our heroine, and eventually, lived happily ever after.
Tags: #movies, #anilKapoor, #goa, #travel, #peopleWatching
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