And in my mind, like all rich people, I love to travel. I love to take afternoon naps. I like spending time in luxury. I don't have to go to an office. I can spend my time in chasing "higher" pursuits. Such as art, craft, thinking and creating new knowledge.
In real life however, I am merely rich in the way I consume technology. In terms of things I know. In terms of my dreams. I am also rich when it comes to the kind of conversations that I can hold (but do they feed you? No?). But I am rich. Filthy rich.
I am rich when it comes to visualizing. Isn't that what texts like Secret, NLP, Rich Dad, Poor Dad etc. say?
I am poor. In real life.
I don't know where would the next meal come from. Ok that was exaggeration. You may scratch that please. But I am poor in the sense that I don't have a car, I don't have a house, I don't have fancy clothes, I don't have power, I don't have respect. All those things that Kwan consists of, I don't have any of that. Kwan btw is Love, Respect, Community and Dollars.
I am so poor that I don't know where to go and work out of. Ever since I thought I could work for myself, I have been on the lookout for that perfect place that I could sit out and work out from. Despite my desperate attempts I haven't been able to find something.
Damn this life of poverty and limited means. Damn the world that made the concept of money and damn me that I am unable to do something about my situation.
P.S.: For the context, this rant came out of a combination of a lot of things that have been gnawing over my comfort for last few weeks. These are...
- My decision to not work full time for someone else.
- In the long run, an attempt to create something gives me location and financial independence. This means I can choose what I work on, when I work and how much I am paid for it. It's not easy, as I am discovering now.
- In the medium run, try and get paid enough to pay the bills for my family and me.
- In the short term, my inability to find a cheap solution to my hunt for a place where I could sit and write / work. I am rich enough to have the quirks of not having a home office. And poor that I can't afford Starbucks and other such places.