The Daily Grind - 2710 - 010818

Since I wrote this, at least two people have told me that its not fair. At two levels. 

A. If I am friends with them, I ought to talk to them.
Point taken. While I try to spend more time offline than what I spend online, I need to connect deeper with people. I will do it from now on. If the two of you are reading this, you've earned the "right" to confront me. 

PS: I will eventually get back to being the online attention hog (soon).  

B. I cant be ranting. 
Reminds me of a time of about 4-5 years ago when I would crib like there's no end to my troubles. It was not the best phase of my life (similar to this one - patterns!) and it took time for me to get out of it. 

Now that I know that I am repeating the mistakes I made last time around, its time to fix it. 

One simple solution that came my way was to channelise all the creative energy into solving the issues (rather than mulling over them). 
Point taken. Lets fucking do it. This blog. And the next book (lol - is there a next book, Mr. Garg?). And C4E. And all other things that tick me.

The other came from Ashima (my fitness Guru). She said that when you are unwell and unhappy, its body's natural reaction to shut it down and preserve the energy (after all for the biological machine, survival is more important than the ego and happiness and all that). So, you would naturally get into the states that make you save energy - sleep (compared to staying awake). The body will get more hungry (compared to the feeling of satiation) and remain like that even if you eat like a pig. You'd want to get into the dark rooms because you are "safe." And so on and so forth. 

One thing is to give into the temptations, get lazy and let the body take its course. The other is to fight it out. Rather than going down the spiral, you stop it mid way and reverse it. 

So, rather than sleep, you go out and run. Rather than eating shit, try to fast. Instead of dark thoughts, go spend time with people that make you happy. And so on and so forth. 

So, I shall do this. Today on. 

The third came from Robin Sharma (year, the Monk and Ferrari guy). This morning. While showering I saw this video and somehow it made sense. He talks about 5P's that you can use to get over a bad day. 

I already do one of those things (journaling - this blog is THE journal; the echoChamber is THE journal). Need to implement the other 4 things. 

And the final, the 4th, came from Prof. Garg himself. I have this metric. I call this the life or the death question. If what you do can kill someone (or can bring a new life), think a million times before you act. But if what you do cant, then act first. And then wait for consequences. Apart from life and time, everything can be recreated, recycled, reproduced et al. 

So, you have an idea but you need your boss' approval? Fuck that. Do it. Show her the results. If she's happy, you are cool. If she is not, say sorry and move on. What's the worst that could happen? She would fire you. You can always get a new job. Even if it pays less. At least you'd have the satisfaction in your head that you tried. 

You want to travel the world but parents dont agree? Leave. Send postcards. Call home. They would yell and all that. They would be sad. But time heals. They would come around and start supporting you. And if they dont, good riddance. Really. 

You want to ask that girl out? Do it. Who cares if she says no. PS: If she does say no, please please accept the fact that she doesnt want you. Move on. Dont be a dick and chase her and make life miserable for her. There are many more great women out there. 

And a million other examples. 

So, the lesson? When you are down in the dumps, rather than feeling sad about it and all that, take it head on. If you're staring at the bottom of a cliff, fucking jump. Either you'd grow wings and get stronger and you'd know you are anti-fragile. Or you'd crash and you'd know that you were in the wrong game. Its these adversities that shape (and reveal the true character). 

I am going to take this head on. And will figure out if I soar. Or if I crash. Wish me luck. 


So, this is it. 

Oh, I am on the road the next three days. Three cheers to that. I am in Chennai. If anyone is around, please do let me know and the Filter Coffee is on me. Or the dosas.

PS: It would be a real challenge to write everyday while I am travelling. Lets see how I fare. 

The Daily Grind - 2711 - 310718

7:45 AM, Mumbai
31 July 2018

I know I said that I wont rant. 
I know I said that I will rather talk about lessons (and not rants). 
I know I've promised myself to be not harsh on myself. 
I know it all. [haha]
But this is important. I have to rant out. There is no one else that I confide in and can be honest about things. [Funny. I am confiding in a blog that is open for the world to see. Dear prospective employer (or client), if you are reading this, please know that this too shall pass.] 

So, I dint write yesterday. Or the day before. Both days I could've written - I had the time and all that. But I dint. Not because I was lazy. But because something happened that put this shroud of misery over my head that made me so sad that I could do nothing but sleep.

And I want to talk about this.

This = misery.
Not the specific incident.
That is captured on echoChamber.
But the generic reason for my misery.

So, here goes.

The way I am made, I have this deeeeeeeee[insert infinite Es here]eeeeeep need to be respected.
I can live with all the ambiguity. I can stand whatever comes at me. I am ok with extreme cold (not garmi though), hunger, lack of comfort, physical abuse and other such things. I can survive around negativity and all that. But when someone is rude to me, I get ticked off.

And when I say that I get ticked off, I dont mean that I blast off. I just curl up into my shell, crawl under the shroud and cut myself from the world. And my world is anyway tiny - handful of friends and acquaintances.

And do what?
Sahi jawab. Aap jeet-te hain ek crore rupye!

Thing is, I am one of those who "live and let live."
I make sure that I dont bug anyone. And I dont want to be bugged.
I talk to everyone with respect. And I want others to talk back to me with respect.
I set high standards for myself and I expect the same from others.
I take ownership of my actions and I expect others to do the same.
I apologise when I am wrong. And I am ok with a public castration.
And I try VERY hard to not repeat my mistakes.
If I cause a monetary loss, I pay back for it. This is one of the chief reasons that I am struggling financially - I have paid to compensate at places where I felt I was responsible, even though I was not. Since all that matters to me is how I feel, if I fucked up, I believe that if I pay up, I can reduce the pain! 
If I do well, I do not crave for recognition. I dont. Really. All I want is respect. And no, I dont demand it. I want to earn it. And I am ok to work very hard to earn the respect.
If I say something, I do it. Of course I miss deadlines and all that but I am human. I try to reduce these misses and not that I am near perfect but I will reach there at some point in time. 

If you cant understand this, I am ok to stay away. Life is way too short to be doing things that dont keep you at peace.

Call this my personal code of conduct or whatever. I try to ensure that this code is adhered to. Every person I get into any relationship with (personal, professional, etc), I try to set an example by being the first to offer this conduct. And once this has been tabled, the strain of commonsensicality in my brain tells me that it should be easy for the other party to respect this code.

But no.

I am often subject to whims and behaviour that is diametric opposite to what I expect. And that's where the problem it! That is what fucks me up. This is what fucked me up. Something happened and someone really important to me was rude to me for no fault of mine.

And like I said I cant stand rudeness for no reason. And I since I am not the kinds to retaliate or talk back and all that, I just came home and put the AC on 22 and went to sleep. Of course I was doing all that you expect me to do - working, talking, even throwing parties, walking, eating and all that. Just that I was on auto-pilot. I even played Peak and now that I think about it, no wonder I was scoring so low on games that I am a pro with.

I think I have finally woken up today. Time to make the day count!


So, lemme shift gears and talk about something that I did for a first time EVER in my life.

I hosted some people at my place! I cant remember when was the last time I called people home just to chill. I have had poker parties in the past and birthday celebrations etc. But I have never ever called people over to just chill and sit around and do things that people do at these house parties - get drunk, play those inane party games and all that. 

Oh, this gathering happened while I still reeling under the influence of the thing... 

I called my tribe over and we did all of the above.
The people at the gathering were aged 36 (me), 32, 28, 24, 20 and 19. That's some range.

And it was interesting af. I think what you do in a house party clearly defines who you are. You are uninhibited and you are your true self. This is a great tool to evaluate people, if you ask me.

For example, if you looked at my behaviour while I was in the party, my number 1 concern was that we dont make so much noise that it makes me neighbours come knocking on my doors and ask us to shut up. If you looked at this other person, all he was bothered about was taking care of one of us who was sick. I on the other hand couldnt care less about the sickness as long as the volume levels were kept down. That tells me that dude is more human than me. So, maybe I need to keep that person close to me.

Got the drift? More on this after I do this one more time. I will have more empirical evidence. 

In the meantime, here are a few observations and lessons from incidents over the last few days.
See I did list a few lessons :)

1. I do not enjoy dancing.
Even if its with the closest set of people.
I hate when I am put at the spot with requests to dance.
I hate to say no to my people.
So, I need to avoid going to places where the dance shite may happen.
I know dance is like a primal thing for us humans, but its not for me.
Sorry, ladies and gents.
Oh, I have expressed the desire to learn Bhangra in the past but that to me is workout. And not an action under influence of alcohol and societal pressure.

2. Alcohol IS fucked up.
I have no clue what makes people consume alcohol.
You ought to be high on things in your head and not on fumes from some foreign substance.

Once you are drunk, you forget what is right and what is wrong and you become someone else.
Some people say you show your true colors. Some say you become better. I am not sure.

All I know is that in my experience, alcohol makes you irrational and often lands you in trouble. And I dont want any trouble of any sort. I HAVE to cut ties with anyone who has an alcohol problem. Even if its borderline.

Having said that, I am still undecided on Psychotropics. I want to try and see the effect. Lets see. Any experts?

3. What I eat controls my mood.
I was sick in the head anyway and then I ate some Dal and rice. May I say that the Dal was good? And I felt so bloated that I had to actually lie down. I had that Dal at around 3 PM yesterday and its 9:05 AM right now and out of these 18 odd hours, I've slept for about 12. Not kidding. I dont know if its the sadness, or the bipolarity (or the depression) or the Dal.

What I know is that I need to fix this. I cant be sleeping this much if I have to reach where I want to. And if that means abstaining from foods that I've liked in the past, I will.

4. Money drives the world.
Of course I've always known this. I've been the kinds to assume that money is a mere byproduct of doing good things. But I guess that's not the case. At least for the world around me.

Here's a quick story. I loaned some money to some friends. I needed some of it back to invest on a project. I reached out to all those people. And of all those people that I've trusted with money, just about 3 of them came back to me with an offer to return. What about the other 5? Well...

Lesson for me?
Choose your friends well.
Make more money.
Try not to loan it - it always causes a trouble.


So yeah, that about it. Happy to have written some. 

To end this, I need to put this on some index cards and remind me from time to time.
I need to... 
I need to start running.
need HAVE to make more money.
I need to stop giving into urges and not eat crap.
I need to sit still and meditate for 45 minutes per day.

That's about it for the day.

Oh, the post about luck? I havent worked on that in 2 days. Maybe today I will. I promise that that will be the next one. Till then, over and out.

The Daily Grind - 2714 - 280718

I did not write yesterday. I could've. I just dint feel like it. No, not cool. Need to overcome these bouts of laziness if I am to get ahead. No, not being harsh at myself. But looking at myself from a few feet in the air and evaluating what am upto. 

Anyhow, without further ado, here's the post of the day. 

So, Krishna read the posts that I've been making over the last few days and told me to get married.

When I asked him about his rationale for saying so, he couldnt give me a specific answer. He said, it just felt like saying that.

Now when someone says that, it either comes from deep experience. Or from deep insight. Or from the gut. In any of these cases, if I trust the other person, even though they say something that is counter-intuitive or something that I dont agree with, I tend to give things a thought. The other filter (apart from trust) I use is if they have skin in the game. In this case Krishna doesnt. But I know that he cares deeply about me, I am inclined to give things a thought.

So, I am thinking.

About two things.

One, That if I should get married.

Two, and if what I write prompts the outsiders to evaluate me as a lonely, miserable man, I need to fix it. Fix both - what I write. And how I feel.

And after all the jamming, I think I have answers.

No, I am not getting married.
I am selfish af.
I dont have enough to love someone more than myself.
And to me, my dreams, my ambition is greater than anything else.
However if things go the way they are going and I am forced to take a full-time employment, I will revisit this piece.

I will not write about my deepest darkest fears and all that here.
I will push them on echoChamber.
The point is to not run away but to give the tribe (the set of people that read my blog - yeah there is a set now!) something that adds value (rather than give them gossip that they can anyway get from a million other sources).

The other thing that needs fixing is how I feel. Now, I am not sure how to do that. What I write on this blog is true. Nothing is manufactured. Things here are as true as my existence is. Each word posted here is as close to truth as I've ever known. I've written shit here that my closest friends dont know. If I am misunderstood and I have no one but this blog to pour the grief on. If I am elated, I celebrate by writing a post here.

I've had great days, superb victories, glorious falls, bouts of melancholic days on stretch and much more. And for each thing, this blog has been the place where I've shared it all. This is closest to a soulmate that I've had.

I know its funny.
That I seek company of strangers.
And for someone who wants to change the world and make money in the process and enable people with that money, I dont have enough people for company.
Its ironical but that's how it is.
I am as alone as that lone camel in that infinite desert.
Or as an actor under the lights when he's asked to perform.
Lol. That's some creative writing. 

Anyhow, I cant run away from what I have or who I am. The point is, I need to fix how I think and what I pour out here.

Hence forth I will.

So, the big change would be that on this blog, while I will write personal things, I will not rant. Except those one off days. Even the most serious magazines have cartoons section :D.

I'd instead write about ideas, projects, things that I am working on, things that I need help on, things that I can help with.

I will talk about big ideas and themes that I am passionate about, causes I want to contribute to. For example, I'd talk about eduction and platforms that enable people. I'd talk about health. I'd talk about pushing the human limits - mental and physical. I'd make this blog a place where I raise a storm (even if its in a mere teacup).

If I cant think of ideas, I will write about what I learnt in that day. I'll probably write 10 ideas and work on working out the idea muscle. I'll write about what I observed during the day. I will write about things that ought to get looked at. You know, become an activist!

Basically, I will write about things that make you wiser.
Or more informed, if you will.
Starting tomorrow today.

So, what did I learn today that I think world at large ought to know? 

  • I am the most effective when I wake up early and get some work done before the world wakes up. While this is applicable to me, I sincerely think you should try this. Try getting up early. I have had friends who love nights like they love life. And when they started getting up early, magical things started to happen for them! So, there may be a merit in becoming a morning person. Try it. For a week and if it doesn't work, big deal! 
  • There are two kinds of people. One, who are willing to work to reach where they want to go. And second, who'd just talk about it. Which one are you? Are you the one who acts upon their desires? I am clearly the second one. And I need to become the first one. And how do I straddle from being the second to the first? Any inputs? 

And what is the big idea of the day? 
  • You need to find your "blue zone of work." What is a blue zone of work? Inspired by blue zones where on an average people live longer, a blue zone of work is a place where you get your best work done. Where you get in the flow with rather ease. For me, the blue zone is at a Starbucks outlet (the one in Powai). I cherish my time there and I dont let anyone interrupt me while I am there. For some, its their office desk. Some people are most effective when they are at home. What is your blue zone? 

And I think thats about it for the day. For tomorrow, thanks to a prompt by SN, I am writing this super long post on manufacturing luck. Watch out this space :) 

That's it for the day. 
Over and out. 

PS: Thanks to VG for prompting me to write. Need more people in the tribe to do so (push me to write when I havent written. Are you guys listening?). 

PPS: I fucked up on the day count on the blogposts (count of the days remaining till to Jan 1, 2026. I got the count wrong on the last few days. Fixing it today on. As of today, its 2714 days to go. Here is the proof. 

The Daily Grind - 2714 - 260718

If there are days that I'd say are weird, today would take the cake.
I had a good time while working.
I had arguments over petty things.
I said no for the first time and it came to bite me back in the ass.
I was told that I cant keep my people happy.
I saw a silver lining in the otherwise cloudy, vague kind of life am living. And the kind of work am doing.

There were good things. And there were bad.
There were expected thing. And there were unexpected surprises.

I need to not have days like today.

I promise myself.

Thats it for the day. More tomorrow.

PS: Technically, this should NOT count as a post. Anything less than 500 300 is not a post. But I had to hit publish before I slept. I remain committed to 1000 words on average a day till the end of the year. Lets see. 

The Daily Grind - 2715 - 250718

So here's the post for the day. I am ODing on coffee and hope.

Since I am no longer on Keto, I am eating, drinking and binging on everything that comes my way. Oh and while I am it, I had some variant of chicken the other day. Thanks to AR. And surprisingly I was ok with it. I need to ramp this up.

I was in Delhi and I was here to pitch to a prospective client and kick off things for the next phase of C4E. And what is that next phase? A phase where I go really fast for the next 9 months and try to make it into a fine events agency.

Anyhow. The post for the day. Since I have a million things clouding my head (as I edited this, I realised that all things are related), I will use a slightly different format to talk about things.

Unlike other times, here is a list of things that I will talk about. A table of contents if you will.

  • A. The day. 
  • B. The fear of flying.
  • C. The Promise to Sleep well. 
  • D. The lure of a good life. 
  • E.  Health.

A. The Day. 
It was a weird day.
In a lot of ways.

First, I missed the flight I was supposed to goto Delhi on. And no, I dont do this often. This is the second time in my life that I have missed a flight. And no, unlike people that get worked up about missing flights, for some reason I was calm. Good job, Mr. Garg. I can attribute this to a lot of things - I dont care much about money; I am not serious about the flight and all that; I have attained nirvana!

Then, I booked myself on the next available flight (which was of course expensive). And again, I dint have an iota of remorse. Am I becoming truly invulnerable? Bulletproof? Lol! Read yesterday's post, Mr. Garg! 

B. The fear of flying.
I never thought I'll say this but I am.

Lemme give context. Since I took my first flight, I've been fascinated with the idea of flying. In fact airports are among my favorite places (no, not all transit places are favorite. Airports are). As I write this, I am at an airport. In fact some of the best ideas come to me when I am at the airports. Or in the planes. Or on the pot.

So, I obviously love the idea of flying.

Also, to the middle-class Indian like me, flying is a symbol of achievement (other symbols are cars, houses, phones etc). And since I am a little underachiever, to me, these things that validate my status are important. To the extent that I keep a count of all flights I take. For example, this flight that I am going to get on in a couple of hours is the 33rd flight of year. Last year I took 53. So on and so forth.

And while I have been on these flights, I have seen all sorts of things - turbulence, calmness, air pockets, babies screaming in my ears, couples making out, comp upgrades, people using air sickness bags, false landing, air traffic congestion, excess baggage issues, lost baggage and dont know what all.

What I havent seen? The oxygen masks falling from the top (from a couple of friends who've experienced it tell me of horror stories of the time when that happens). And of course a life-threatening experience.

Of the times when I have been in flights with serious turbulence, I have remained calm. As calm as I was in the morning when I missed the flight and paid a fortune to book the next flight.

But... there's always a but... for a change, in the morning today, I was scared. At the slightest turbulence that the otherwise comfortable flight had to go through. And this is the first time I recognised the emotion of fear while in a plane. And I dont know why am I scared. I know that flying commercial is statistically amongst the safest ways to travel. I also "know" that it cant happen to me - you know what I am saying?

So, why am I scared? Am I afraid to die?
Probably yes.
Probably no.

But I know that there is way too much happening in my life to just die like that. You know what I am saying? I have to make a dent in the universe and it cant be that unfair (to me) that I die in a plane crash! There are plans and ideas that need implementing. There are people dependent on me. There are a handful that love me. And most importantly, there are people that I want to help.

What if I am in an "incident"? What happens to all those people and ideas and things?

Ok, cant be thinking of these things before I take a flight. The point is, I get scared when I am in the planes. Need to think more on this on the other side. No. Not the 7th heaven side. But the other side once I have landed and safely tucked in the bed in a cold dark room.

C. Sleep
That brings me to the next thing that I want to talk about. Sleep.

I missed the flight because I could not wake up on time despite putting three alarms. And I could not wake up despite the alarms because I am tired. In my body, head, soul and everywhere. And I am exhausted because I have been working REALLY hard last 2-3 weeks. And I hardly get time to sleep.

Things are taxing (and I know that none of the things I am working on will pan out to give me either the money or the reputation or the future - these things are paying me just about enough to pay my bills. Yes I am struggling). And there is a lot of incompetency around me and thus I am jacked even more.

Ok enough of rant.

Point is that I am not getting enough sleep. And that means I am killing myself fast. And if I need to make a dent, I need to live long. Till at least 120. Side note. As I grow older, I am more aware of my mortality and the fact that life is so useless and meaningless. Dont know what prompted who to create this thing called life. Makes me sick as I think about it.

Ok enough of rant.

So while life is meaningless and all that, while you are here, you ought to do whatever it takes to make sure that you enable others and spread happiness. I dont know what else is the purpose of life. Agreed that I want to make money and all that but I want to make money and all that to be able to inspire and enable others. If I can, anyone can. That. If I can climb the Mt. Everest, any one can. If I can make a billion dollars, anyone can. That.

And to be able to do all this, I need to be effective. And to be effective, I need to be "fresh" and rested and calm and in peak state. There are two ways to do it. Take performance enhancing substances. Or you take enough rest. You sleep well. In fact DS told me today that he wants me to sleep well before I attend a meeting with him. That's a sign enough.

So, I hereby promise that I will NOT compromise on my sleep.
I will sleep for 6 hours (not 8 - I am ok with 6).
And post that I will assume that my day has just 18 hours.
And I will wake up at 430.
Even if I have to sleep at 10 PM.
No more late night calls, dinners etc.
No more coffee (except when I am on Keto and that too limited to one or two).
No more things that interrupt my sleep.
Here's a joke... if Akshay Kumar can, I can ;P

Of course there will be exceptions - when I am travelling, when I am on a break (#sidenote: must write about breaks - how I [plan to] take one weekend off every month, one week every quarter and 3 weeks every 6 months) etc.

But I will NOT compromise on my sleep.

Oh, if you know me, you would know that I encourage that 24x7 on-the-job, work, hustle-hard, chase-purpose, push-yourself lifestyle. I just want to put on record that I do NOT encourage not sleeping. All I mean is that all the frivolous things we do - partying, gossip, killing time on SM - those things have to stop!

D. The good life. 
Today, I realised yet again that I love a good life more than anything else. I define a good life as

  • a life of abundance where you have enough to feed you and your loved ones. AND have enough to live in comfort and not worry about material things. You know, Maslow? 
  • a life where you are making impact in the community that you live in. Where you inspire others. Enable others. Give them a shoulder.
  • a life where you affect change (rather than a mere victim of things controlled by others).
  • a life where where n the sense that when I have the money and I can afford things without worrying about it, life looks great. 
  • and much more. 
Side note. Must write about what a good life is. And then write a note to self about reaching there. And get all my people to write about a life that they ought to live. And more. 

Am I there today? No.
Do I want to be there? Hell yeah!
How do I plan to do it? I have no clue!
What happens now? If you are reading this, HELP me!

E. Health.
I wanted to write about health as well. But I am not sure if I have the time (or the inclination) to do so. This post must be a 1500 words if not more. I know words flow when I rant on the blog, but I too have a limit! I will thus park health for some other day.

Just one note. I bought a pair of shorts today. 34". And the pair is loose. I am legit 32" now. Next goal? 30. Will talk about how I do this in the next post.

Till then, over and out.

PS: I will send this post to people I want to help me succeed in life. If you get this and do read this, please support me. And not diss me or troll me. And in case I dont send this, it doesnt mean that I dont care for you. It merely means that you are already by my side :) 


The Daily Grind - 2716 - 240718

Today's post. Its 1104 and I have less than an hour. 1000 words. Let's do this. 

Disclaimer. So, today's post is going to be kind of sad. And one of the things that I preach to the world around me is that we need to avoid things that make us sad. These things rub off. So in case you want to not spoil the day or whatever, may be don't read (assuming you read this on a day to day basis).

So, why am I sad? I have no reason to be sad to be honest. Life is ok. I am not really unhealthy. I have enough money to pay my bills. There is enough work on my plate to keep myself busy. There is enough stress to keep me alive and kicking. And there is enough ambition and dreams and all that in my head to keep me going. So its cool.

And as I write I realize that I am probably lying to myself! Lemme make a list of things.

Life is ok. 
I guess.

I am not really unhealthy.
At my age, I should be running the marathons, climbing the Everest and all that. And I on the other hand am lying on my stomach, trying to write this post. And getting breathless as I write this. The very act of writing the post is becoming a task. You know what am saying?

I have enough money to pay my bills. 
Who am I kidding? My bank balance is in low 4 figures and I need to find a way to make more of it. And lot more at that. I HAVE to get rich.

There is enough stress. 

There is enough ambition and dreams.
True. But I think I need to find a way to get those dreams to become reality! All I do is dream all day long. And not put things in action. Ok. Wait. I am not that bad. I actually do things but I need to up the ante and do lot more. Agreed that life is just 24 hours and and we ought to prioritize but then what about trying to be the Superhero? More on this later.

So yeah. That's it.

#note2self: You are clearly lost Mr. Garg. You need to find a way out!

That's it for the day. Not really a 1000 words. 400 odd if I am right with my estimation. But I got the post done. That's the good thing for the day. Phew!

The Daily Grind - 2717 - 230718

So it has happened! After 11 days of non-stop one post a day, I did not post yesterday and the day before. So a break of 2 days. Bummer!

Day before, I could've posted but I did not. There are no excuses. I was plain lazy. I mean I did get stuck at a meeting that never ended and then I had to attend a social gathering and then had to meet a few friends at night, but I did have a few hours in the middle that I could've used to write. But I did not. I know everyone has an active social life and I am not the only one but unlike everyone that I hang out with I am the only one with super high ambitions and unreliable income (#note2self - time to find others to hang out with? people in the similar space as you are?).

Yesterday, I got dragged into a day-long firefighting thing at work. Which is not new. I need to understand why does this happen this often! 

Anyhow, its 2205 and I have to leave at 2300 and that leaves me with little less than an hour to get this post done. And unlike previous times where I was hard on myself and I ranted and ranted and all that, this time I am not going to that. PM, are you listening reading?

I'd rather write about good thing. Things that I am thankful for. Here goes.

There is enough work on my plate that I dont have time to even sleep. This is a good thing because work translates into money. And this money is more than enough to allow me to fund all the projects! Which is THE thing that I want from life. Make a lot of money. Use that create things that give me that satisfaction of creating things. And then repeat. You get the drift?

There is some travel coming up. Even though most of those "trips" are just about a day long and will be super hectic, I am still excited about the prospect of being away from office. Thing is, there are days that I love to sit around and work and all that but for most part, I want to not be confined to a physical space. I infact need to work on things that allow me a life where I can travel constantly. Like a cricketer, you know. Or a poker player!

The Team SG that I've always dreamt of being a part of? That is happening. One person at a time. There are 5 people on it now. The good part? Everyone on the team is less than 30 (except Paras but he's like a 5-year old in the head! The youngest is 19 though). I just need to find a way to keep the team together.

Also, I need to ensure that this does not become an ego trip. At this point, I am very clear that I dont own them. Neither do they report to me. I am not their manager. And I definitely dont own their time. Or idea. Its like that round table that King Arthur apparently had at Camelot. Everyone is equal. Everyone ought to work to help each other. Each person gives a shoulder to others. And so on and so forth. Together we lift each other. And grow the tribe.

I know this is too idealistic to be true but I am sure I can make it happen. You want in? Read this and lets talk! #note2self: Need to write more about this. 

The fact that I am back to writing! I know this is little and probably stupid and insignificant that I am writing a blogpost about writing on a blog. But to me, its important. I have realised that writing keeps me sane and grounded and all that. The fact that I am back to the rigour of writing something everyday (apart from longish work-emails) is a great great thing!


So yeah, this is about it. Post for the day. After a break of 2 days. Wish me luck for tomorrow!

PS: I need to stop using these many exclamation marks. Really. 

The Daily Grind - 2722 - 200718

Day 11. 
As I write this, its 10:52. About an hour from the impending deadline for the day. Which is ok. I think I work better when the deadlines are hovering over my head. The point is that I am consciously trying to publish a piece every day. Which, given the life that I lead is next to impossible.

And yet, here I am. Doing it. I agree that most pieces that I write may not qualify as quality content. But like I keep saying, I am the kinds that needs to put in hours and hours before I get some good content that could engage someone for even 4 seconds!

In terms of the day, it was a pretty routine day. Woke up rather late, went for a meeting, had eggs for lunch and dinner. Had 3 Diet Cokes. Made a few phone calls that were pending for sometime. Got some work done. Moved the needle on one of the projects. And of course a lot of other projects are open. So that's something that I need to fix as we go along. Who's we? Main aur meri tanhai. Lol. 

Moving on. As I was writing this, I realised that I some travel coming up (Delhi and Kolkatta) in the next few days. Delhi is as early as the next week. And if all goes well, I could be in Chennai as well in the next week. All of this is work. Lets see how that pans out. In case you are in any of these cities and want to catch up, please do lemme know. Who are you kidding Mr. G? Who the F reads your blog? 

Ok people may not read the blog. But that does not mean that you will not write. The intent of this 1000 words a day pact is to sharpen the muscle and see the extent to which I can push myself. I keep telling myself that I am very strong willed and this is one sure way of testing that will!

So yeah. That.

And in terms of other updates, a lot hasn't changed since yesterday. I am still the same - happy, sad, excited, scared, careless, cheerful and all that. Bipolar anyone?

Thing is, this pouring of random words on a public medium is an interesting idea. This makes me blurt out things that are clouding my head. And while writing, once I get in the flow, I often write things that I dont even know are fucking with my head. So, this is therapeutic in a way. And this also means that this exposes my vulnerabilities to the world - which is not a great thing. Especially if you have the grandiose ambitions like mine. I am often asked about my plans to reach my ambition and I dont have an answer. In an ideal world, you ought to be doing this blurting out in front of the ones that you know will stand by you. And this is where I suck. People that will stand by me.

This also brings me to the lesson for the day.

So, what did I learn today? 
I learnt that no one cares for you. Apart from you, no one is responsible for your success or happiness. No I am not talking about me per se. But about people in general. 

How did I learn this?
I was talking to Krishna about the post I made yesterday and I realised that while he wants to help me but he can do only as much. He can give me inputs and talk to me and give me the emotional support that I need but he will not quit what he's doing to stand by my side! Will I stand by his side? Not really. But I will stand by a LOT of people. All of my ex-bosses for example. They've given me long leashes and if anyone is in trouble, I will do whatever it takes to fix things for them. Even if I cant fix things, I will ensure that I try hard. 


I dont have one person like that. I have great friends and others that are invested in my success but I really need people who make me their number one priority. Or a cabal where we are a clique and everyone is taken care of and does well and stands by each other. You know what I am saying? Guess this TED talk by Derek could help? Or may be its only about creating reputation for yourself? May be. May be not. Time shall tell.

And till tomorrow, this is over and out!

The Daily Grind - 2723 - 190718

Day 10. Of publishing everyday. An average of 1000 words. Yay to that. 
No, none of the posts has gone viral. Yet. So, Nay to that.
As I write this, I am not sure what to write about. There are ideas and thoughts and open ends and all that but I am not sure any of those are worth writing about. I mean most things that I wrote about over the last few days dint have any great insights! 
Ok so I know what to talk about. Work! After all that's what's been clouding my head over the last few days. 

I run C4E. Which on most days is a brilliant events agency. And the days we are not brilliant, we are so good that people actually look upto us. I get so many queries and all that that I am often vain about it and gloat and all that. wtf is all that?

The question begets, why do you have days when you (aka C4E) are (is) NOT brilliant?

Because those are the days when I dont have work! Thing is I am the happiest when I am working. And work for me is creating things. If what I does not allow me to create things, I dont want to!

For example, when we do events for clients, we actually create a temporary "experience centre" if nothing else. And when we do other things that we work on (investments, content, stories etc), we create new things.

So, in an ideal world, I should be working on mandates from various clients. And I ought to be so busy that I dont have time to even die! And when I do get squeeze out the time, the money I make from work I do for clients ought to help me create things that I am typically not paid for - things like IMHO, Podium, OnW, TRS, DIY etc. And the loop has to continue. You know, enough clients giving me enough work to keep me busy for a large part of my time and then enough interesting projects to allow me to get the gratification of creating new things, while I ensure that I enable others, make that dent and make money in the process!

Simple. No?

Just that despite all my intentions and attempts and all that I cant seem to get enough work to even quit all the side gigs, let alone pay the damn rent, get that car and then invest into all the projects and side gigs. Sigh.

You think you can help?

PS: Not really a post per se but I had to write to keep the continuity going. May be I will write a longer one tomorrow? 

PPS: This is one of those days where I need divine intervention to keep my spirits going high and prevent my sanity from going... poof! 

3 #lifeLessons (for people in their 20s)

So I dint get up on time today. I think it was way past 8:30 when I woke. For the context, I try to be up by 430 - which I rarely manage. And because I was late to get up and today was my manager day, I had to be at work. And to be able to reach on time I had to take public transport (aka Mumbai Metro).

Which I did.

And that was a good thing and a bad thing.

Bad that I had to travel in a compartment that was full of people who probably belong to the cult that does not believe in taking showers. You know how they are? Happy with each others BO? Plus, for them, I think traveling in the Metro is a sport. After all they have this uncanny knack of stomping on your feet even if you are the only person in the entire train. And they can spot a speck of space from a mile that can squeeze their frame of a 1000 kilos and 300 KMs in that speck. And they rush to it. Only to realise that the other person in competition is 3000 kilos!

Good that I got a session of HIIT done. I mean what else do you call the excursion in the Mumbai Metro where every other person reeks of I dont know what and is adamant on crushing your feet? And like every HIIT regimen, there is enough heat (thats to a million bodies packed together in a space meant for a handful) that you sweat all the fat out!

Oh when you get out of the Metro, the rickshaw guys? They will ensure that you continue the work out by refusing to go where you have to.

Apart from this, I attended a shoot for a music video. Done at EXTREMELY low budgets. And thus, a million lessons. And that's what I will talk about in the next section - lesson of the day!

And what did I learn today?
So I learnt how to do a cheap film.

And apart from that I learnt the following three lessons. You can also read these as three life lessons for people in their 20s, if they wish to have a better life!

A. You need to have a talent that you can monetise. 
You need to learn it as soon as possible.

At 35, its impossible for me to learn a new thing. But if you are in your 20s, PLEASE go learn a skill that you can monetise. Paint, draw, sing, play an instrument, code, learn magic, dance, do something that allows you to not depend on traditional sources of income.

B. You need to do things that scale. And compound. 
For example, if I manage operations at a company, what I do there, doesnt scale. On the other hand, if I create a book, if its good, I can earn royalties for the rest of my life.

So between trying to make ends meet by working on a safe job and doing something that can potentially give you money for the rest of your life, I think you ought to pick the later.

I made the mistake of not doing that. And if I can turn back time, I will club lessons 1 and 2 above. In fact I have started to believe that all that advice about travel and making merry and fun and all that in your 20s? Its crap! You ought to make money or gain monetizable skills. More on this in some more days.

C. Invest in relationships 
Thing is, as am growing old, I realise that I dont have any meaningful relationships - the kinds that stay with me and help me when I need help. Lemme give an example. In the shoot today, the guy who was shooting needed a studio. He could curry a favour and get that studio for cheap. One of my friends, he can ask a million people to get him a discount on literally anything that he wants to buy. I on the other hand cant think of a single person who would want to help me. And there are people that I have literally begged. To give me work and what not. And yet they havent.

So, the lesson is, you MUST invest in relationships while you can. With time these relationships will become deeper and better and will give you infinite returns. Dont be me who thought that its ok to be eccentric and the talent would pay of at some point in time in future. It may. But future is not really the best play to live, if you ask me.

Of course, your life. You choose if these are applicable to you. I can only talk from experience and hindsight.


So thats it for the day. What are the few things that you learnt today? Please do share.

PS: Love this post! And I use way too many Ands. And I need to control it. And with that, its over and out.

The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Did you like this post? May be you want to read my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story.

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