The Next Few Days. And next couple of years.

The next few days are going to be big. Big in the sense that things that happen in the next few days would dictate how I spend the next two years. And thus, probably, how I would spend the rest of my life. 

What? Why?
The book is almost done. The second draft is also almost ready. I have already had a round of discussions with a publisher. If all goes well, the book could be out in next three-four months. I am keeping my fingers crossed. And then after that I'd start working on the next one. I have a tentative plot in my head about the next one but I am not sure. However I am sure that I want to write atleast one every year. Audacious goal but what is life without a tinge of audacity? 

The publishing (of the book), even though it would be a grand event, wont really change the things. 

Change would be finding a naukri that would help me pay my bills. I have been jobless for almost 8 months now and I have spent everything that I had saved. And more. I need to find something that would help me pay bills. I am looking at working for atleast couple of years. Couple of reasons. A is to save some. B is to try and leave a mark. 

Sadly I dont know what I want to do in life and I have no clue about the kind of work I want to do. I take pride in being a Jack of all trades and that means I am employable across a wide range of profiles. Not wide enough to cover a lot of ground but wide enough to allow me to choose from multiple options. And the options, as I see are...

A. Go back to Delhi and either settle for what I was doing previously or go work for a friend's startup. Both options are open to me right now.

There is nothing wrong with my last job and there is nothing right with it either. Its a safe routine job that probably would give me some time off to work on my books. The book writing bit is going to be a long haul thing and I would have to spend a lot of time before I know if I am accepted by readers. 

The startup would be a huge huge challenge. I know that that guy is very demanding and thus I would have to work really hard on it. It will translate into lessons that would probably last for a lifetime but then I probably would not have anytime for the book. 

B. Find a naukri in Mumbai. Again, there is nothing wrong or right about this. Just that I would have to go through the grind of calling companies, friends, contacts, acquaintances and other such people and hope to find something for myself. 

Again, depending on where I end up, I may get lucky to find something that is the right mix of money, exciting work, time for writing, meeting new people. travel and mental simulation. But if I dont get lucky, I dont even want to list things that could go bad. 

C. Drift the way I have been drifting. Hoping for happy accidents to happen to me. Since I know that I am a destiny's child, I can try and keep setting in motion random oscillations that some day translate into giant winds that may bring love, luck and happiness my way. 

Thats about it. 

On paper, it looks like a very simple three point equation. In real life however, the implications and ramifications are so many that I cant even fathom. Anyhow, I have never been the thinking kinds and I life without a plan. Whatever comes my way first I'd take it and move fast on it. 

It has taken me ten years of sporadic writing and last few months of sustained effort towards The Nidhi Kapoor Story to realize that I love writing so much. I cant really waste anymore time in half-measures. 

Thats all! 

Writer's Block!

Its here! The writer's block.

I cant write. I havent written for almost 15 days. Not on the blog, not on the book, not on the secret blog, no emails, nothing. And damn!

The thing is called the Writer's Block. And it is defined as a phenomenon when a writer loses the ability to produce new work. It is not a problem with the ability of the writer but is more of a temporary roadblock that prevents the writer from creating new work. I dont know if the definition is correct but I really want to assume that it is. I can not believe that I've run out of juice after writing a blog for ten years. People tend to become great after spending ten years with things.

In my case, the block is probably as a result of the break that I imposed on myself after I finished the first draft of The Nidhi Kapoor Story. Anyhow, the block is here and it sucks. Truly. I have realized that I am extremely happy when I am writing. In fact writing is my escape. There are times when I am fucked up in my head and the only way I can let go things is by letting my fingers dance on the keyboard. Writing is like my fix. Its my poison. Its something that I have to do if I am to be happy.

And since I hate to be unhappy for long durations of time (yes, I imply that I am unhappy when I am not writing), I have these homegrown remedies to get out of the block. This post, is actually an outcome of one such remedy. In fact, if Neo did not nudge me, I wouldn't have thought about this. Thank You.

Hopefully tomorrow onwards I would restart writing. Even if its small insignificant updates on the blog. Or inane changes in the story.

Till then, so long!

P.S.: Here are a few other posts that I've written about writer's block.

Weightloss Tamasha

Screenshot from Wolf of Wallstreet
I believe there is a heath book by this name. If it exists, I havent read it and I dont want to benefit from it's popularity (if its popular). If you are the author (or the publisher), please dont sue me. I am too lazy to google for the name.

So with the disclaimers out of the way, let me talk about the tamasha that I am engaged in. The shenanigans, while I try to lose weight inches.

Since my aversion for any exercise, physical or mental is well-documented, I cant really do em. However, here are a few things that I have decided that I would do. And here is a list...
  1. Walk. 10K steps a day. Most days I dont. But on an average I try to do 50K steps a week. Except the last week, I could do 50K over the last few weeks. I wrote about this here
  2. Eat in moderation. If you have gone out eating with me you would know of copious amount of food that I can eat and digest. I have stopped all that now. Except yesterday when I had a dosa after at least 15 days, an ice-cream after few weeks and my favorite egg biryani after a month at least. I wanted to top all this with Red Bull but then I had to sleep. It was awesome to indulge in all this foodgasm but in the morning, I could see the damn food stuck on my body, the way they stuck money around a woman in Wolf of Wallstreet
  3. Small meals. Rujuta recommends that six small meals a day is better than three big ones. Only fuck up is that I end up having six small meals along with the three big ones. 
  4. Cheap publicity. I make such a hue and cry about things that I post it on blog, my twitter stream, facebook and what not. 
  5. Large bets. I got into this mother of a bet with a friend about my goal for myself. I would buy him the latest iPhone if I am more than 30". Else he would buy me one. For someone like me, who needs external motivation more often than not, this is a brilliant carrot.  
Thats it! 

So, for the next few months if you see that I am obsessed by weightloss and things around it, could you please bear with me? The way you have since I started writing this? 

The Publish Button

The Publish button
You know the funny bit about blogging? Even today, ten years since I started writing a blog, more than 1300 published posts, everytime I push the Publish button, I have my guts in my throat. I get butterflies. I get scared. I am in jitters.

What if I've made typos? What if someone ridicules it? What if an prospective employer / bride reads this and rejects me? What if this? What if that?

The Publish Button is my greatest fear. I am not scared of darkness, heights, lurking monsters in blind alleys, public speaking, approaching a member of the opposite gender, dentists, (or any of these other top ten fears of humans). But I am scared of the Publish button. Very scared.

And like all fears, once I do it, once I am over it, it transforms from fear into freedom. From scare into thrill. The fear is gone. The button is like that teleport switch that helps me hit escape velocity and go in the orbit. On one side is a lot of ridicule and the other side is pure exhilaration of having created something. Of seeing things out there. And trust me, there is no larger satisfaction than creating something. Something out of thin air. That's what writing is about. Pulling strands out of thin air and weaving them in a coherent story!

No wonder I love writing. No wonder I am addicted. To the fear of Publish button and the relief that comes when I have pressed it.

Monthly Report - Feb 2014

The second month, the shortest in the year is gone. Someone rightly said that the time flies. Anyhow, here is the update for the month.

Here are the thing that I did in this month
  1. The credit card bill for the last month was my lowest ever. Ever. Since I started earning all those years back. May be it was because it was the shortest month of the year, but then, I am not complaining.
  2. I launched a new idea. Still working on it. You may want to read this post for more details. You may subscribe to it here
  3. Thanks to a tweet by Anaggh, I discovered Producteev. This has to be amongst the best personal project management tool that I have seen (apart from the good pen and paper). Do check it out.
  4. Had a good month with poker. A good month for me is when I do not loose. I did not. 
  5. Big news. Lost couple of inches. Off all the things that I want to achieve this year, I want to get fitter. And this is the first time ever, in my life, when I have lost inches. I am really really happy about it. So happy that I dont have words. Over the next few days I would continue to talk about it. 

Report on things I had planned for Feb.
  1. I had planned five things. I did none of those. Multiple reasons. But will not go there. I failed. 

In Mar of 2014, these are the things that are on the cards
  1. Things for Feb (sell sgElectra, work on Cpt Obv, ISIN and next plot)
  2. Clear Evernote.
  3. #tnks. Finish second draft of #tnks. And start talking to publishers. I have a friend who has promised to publish the book, but I want to get published on its merit, not on goodwill. 
  4. #poker. Get yet another good month with poker. Like I mentioned, a good month is when I do not lose. 
  5. #poker. See all of grisped on youtube. 
  6. #36to30. Take yoga as a challenge. Try and do asanas with more poise and tougher intensity. I would take it up as a challenge. I wrote about it here. Remember the tread mill that Will Smith talks about?
Thats about it from the month of Feb. Over to you March.

In the meanwhile, do check out The Nidhi Kapoor Story's facebook page

Previous updates: Jan 

The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Did you like this post? May be you want to read my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story.

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