THIS IS A REAL STORY. Of a dream I saw. Yesterday night.
I am in a building attending some talk or something and suddenly a guy comes and whispers in the ears of someone important. Like they do in President's ears in most movies. And since I observe people, I understand that something is wrong. And then someone announces that we have been surrounded by terrorists. I guess (in the dream) that they might take us hostage but I get this feeling that I am going to die. I check out. There are two escape routes. I peek through the window on the left. I see one guy dressed in a pathan suit (images) and crouched near the wall of the courtyard. Yes there was a courtyard. And a wall. And yes I get these many details in my dreams. I get vivid dreams. (Not that vivid). So I see that there is a terrorist. And he was talking to someone on the phone (or was it a walkie-talkie?) and making gestures towards someone on the other side of the wall. I then go and check the other entrance/exit. I dont remember what I see there. And then I realize that I am going to die. I think that what a waste. A life where you promised a lot and ended by a gunshot. Without a warning. Aint that how most lives end? Anyways so once I realize I was going to die, I try to find places to hide (yes first thoughts were to find places to hide). I also think about possibilities of locking the building down. I also think of ways to control the people there and use their help to save ourselves. Now that I am writing, somehow the thought of calling for help dint come that time!. And then, I have no clue what happened. Next thing I remember is my cellphone buzzing and showing that its 5:30 AM and time to get up!
Thats it. Short and simple. Sans climax. Any interpretations?
Aaj Pehli Tareekh Hai
Nov 01, 2009.
In an ideal world, today would have been day 1 of a new month. And would have meant, amongst other things, salary. Ok, if not salary, the hopes of getting one (my salary usually came in the beginning of the second week). Salary meant that bank balance would be back to respectable levels (which IMHO is subjective). And that would mean midnight buffets with friends at five stars (and an opportunity to ogle at pseudo-celebrities, act rich and snobbish). And would mean a new gadget (that I would use for exactly four days. Ask my iPod, PSP, Kalieodoscope, Rubik's Cube, Dominoes, Juggling Balls etc.). And would mean a new pair of jeans/sneakers/tees etc (and bragging points for redefining desi "coolness"). And would mean plans to travel to yet another place (and once in a while those plans did work and me and Neo explored places, mountains, rivers, roads, people, ourselves) . And it would mean decisions of investing whatever is left in some penny stock (hoping that that might go up by 500% in one week and dreaming the vicious cycle of dreams). And it would initiate those conversations where you compared your paycheck with your classmates and colleagues (and you discovered that you earned the least among the lot).
Sigh! those were the days.
In an ideal world, today would have been day 1 of a new month. And would have meant, amongst other things, salary. Ok, if not salary, the hopes of getting one (my salary usually came in the beginning of the second week). Salary meant that bank balance would be back to respectable levels (which IMHO is subjective). And that would mean midnight buffets with friends at five stars (and an opportunity to ogle at pseudo-celebrities, act rich and snobbish). And would mean a new gadget (that I would use for exactly four days. Ask my iPod, PSP, Kalieodoscope, Rubik's Cube, Dominoes, Juggling Balls etc.). And would mean a new pair of jeans/sneakers/tees etc (and bragging points for redefining desi "coolness"). And would mean plans to travel to yet another place (and once in a while those plans did work and me and Neo explored places, mountains, rivers, roads, people, ourselves) . And it would mean decisions of investing whatever is left in some penny stock (hoping that that might go up by 500% in one week and dreaming the vicious cycle of dreams). And it would initiate those conversations where you compared your paycheck with your classmates and colleagues (and you discovered that you earned the least among the lot).
Sigh! those were the days.
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan
Another lyrics. After ages. Goosebumps material. From Chak De India (IMDB, wiki).
I would consider myself lucky if I could ever write something like this!
Credits: Copied lyrics from Chandani's youtube video.
Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)
Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)
Tere Sang Kheli Holi
Tere Sang Thi Diwali
Tere Anganon Ki Chhaya
Tere Sang Sawan Aaya
Pher Le Tu Chahe Nazaren Chahe Chura Le
Laut Ke Tu Aayega Re Shart Laga Le
Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)
Mitti Meri Bhi Guhi
Wohi Mere Ghee Aur Churi
Wohi Ranjhe Mere Wohi Heer
Wohi Sevaiyyan Wohi Kheer
Tujh Se Hi Rooth Na Re Tujhe Hi Manana
Tere Mera Naata Koi Dooja Na Jaana
Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (4)
I would consider myself lucky if I could ever write something like this!
Credits: Copied lyrics from Chandani's youtube video.
RIP David Shepard
David Shepard, one of those few umpires who I still remember from the time I was a fan of the game.
You would be missed.
You would be missed.
Bash
I bashed my car. Two time in two days. It sucks. Not the dents on the car but the thought that I cant drive it well enough to keep it on the road. And I hate the feeling.
And now I am being irrational. I am thinking maybe I don't deserve to drive. Maybe I am cursed. I am talking like superstitious person. I am tempted to pray to Vishwakara everytime before I touch my steering wheel. Blah.
Poor Santro. I treat her as a step child ever since @sgElectra happened to me.
Anyways, next time on, shall be careful.
And now I am being irrational. I am thinking maybe I don't deserve to drive. Maybe I am cursed. I am talking like superstitious person. I am tempted to pray to Vishwakara everytime before I touch my steering wheel. Blah.
Poor Santro. I treat her as a step child ever since @sgElectra happened to me.
Anyways, next time on, shall be careful.
Escape Perfectionism
Thanks to HN, I got link to this great post on the Harvard Business blog. Extracting a quote from there ...
Am not sure if the tips in the blog work but I could relate the note to my personal experience. Am sure many more would be able to. It took me three years to resign from a day job and start working for myself. All this because I was trying to put everything in place before I took the leap. I dint realize that I can never put everything in place without knowing what to put in place. Feedback loop (+ and -) you see. I was trying not to fail. And as a result, I wasn't even trying.
Any more people trapped in the "perfection" loop, please read the complete blog post. And resign and start up! Remember that shoe company that asks us to just do it?
Crossposted on Cyntax Blog
Perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them. At the beginning, it's they who aren't ready. At the end, it's their product that's not. So either they don't start the screenplay or it sits in their drawer for ten years because they don't want to show it to anyone.
But the world doesn't reward perfection. It rewards productivity. And productivity can only be achieved through imperfection. Make a decision. Follow through. Learn from the outcome. Repeat over and over and over again. It's the scientific method of trial and error. Only by wading through the imperfect can we begin to achieve glimpses of the perfect.
Am not sure if the tips in the blog work but I could relate the note to my personal experience. Am sure many more would be able to. It took me three years to resign from a day job and start working for myself. All this because I was trying to put everything in place before I took the leap. I dint realize that I can never put everything in place without knowing what to put in place. Feedback loop (+ and -) you see. I was trying not to fail. And as a result, I wasn't even trying.
Any more people trapped in the "perfection" loop, please read the complete blog post. And resign and start up! Remember that shoe company that asks us to just do it?
Crossposted on Cyntax Blog
Bitter Sweet Symphony
Cos its a bitter sweet symphony .. this life.
Love this song. Here are the lyrics and vid ..
Lyrics
Lyrics from Lyrics 007.
Love this song. Here are the lyrics and vid ..
Lyrics
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no
Well, I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here with my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no
(Well have you ever been down?)
(I can't change, I can't change...)
(Ooooohhhhh...)
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(Been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)(Lalalalalalaaaaaaaa...)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)
Lyrics from Lyrics 007.
Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera
Everytime I hear Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera, from Swades, my heart gets heavy. I want to escape. Go travel. Chuck everything behind. Move on. Do something.
Wishful thinking.
Wishful thinking.
Crib Crib Crib Contd
Crib Alert: Higher. Read at your own risk.
Continuing with the previous rant, next on agenda is the society of mutual admiration. I have spoken about this earlier as well. Its funny how it is self propagating till the egos reach an astronomical proportion. Initially cooperating and then eventually competing with each other. Right now, from what I can see, that transition from cooperating to competing has begun. And the games would get only interesting.
Next up is affinity to the Fourth Estate. All the experts, on the Internet, off the Internet, in our minds, in their minds are on one hand proclaiming that they are not here to get famous. And on the other hand, everyone wants their 15 seconds of fame. Even if those 15 seconds are buried on the nineteenth page in the bottom corner in microscopic font, it shall be put highest on the long list of similar achievements.
Achievements is yet another aspect. I have met people who have started three companies and hence they are experts on starting up. All three had to shut down is a different story. Then I have met people who have been blogging for 8 years now and hence they are India's first bloggers. Then I met this girl who is an awesome public speaker and her claim to fame is that she manages a school for the underprivileged. And this in her opinion makes her an authority on NGOs in India. If someone asked her where do NGOs file their returns, she would not know as she is not a "business person". Then my best friend is a property dealer in Greater NOIDA and hes been doing it for about 11 years now. And he thinks he is the next KP Singh. There are plenty of such examples. Reminds me of that book, Extraordinary popular delusions. In this case, they are not really popular delusions, but, personal ones. If Mr. MacKay was alive, I would have pleaded him to write a version.
Last agenda on this long rant is lack of opportunities to broaden my horizon that universities and companies in the west provide in abundance. For us Indians, education is something that you get over with in one stretch (typically end with a MBA, MCA, MTECH, MD etc). And then you start working. Studying for few years, taking a break, working, traveling, cooing back to study et al are alien concepts. If you are 27 and you did your MBA three years ago, sitting at home to figure out your next career step is nothing less than a cardinal sin that even a dip in holy Ganges might not help. One might argue there are people who are doing it now. But what percentage of the population? And why? This is a different tangent all together. Lets not go there.
Coming back, so once I start working, its an absolute no-no to stop, identify/learn/develop a new skill and change your industry etc. Even if I want to remain in the "industry" I am in (we don't look at life and work as separate entities), advancement means promotion. Thats it. We don't care if we advance the industry/profession or contribute something to it. All we want to do is reach the next level, faster than our peers. After all if pados kay sharmaji ka beta is a National Sales Manager at 28, there is no way I can be just a Regional Sales Manager. Universities here shrug you off moment they confer the degree/diploma on you. Universities abroad offer an environment where you can grow. Where you contribute. Where you learn even after you have been awarded that diploma.
Again, have to cut it short. Probably a part three might come soon. Like Moby asked, why does my heart, feel so bad?
Continuing with the previous rant, next on agenda is the society of mutual admiration. I have spoken about this earlier as well. Its funny how it is self propagating till the egos reach an astronomical proportion. Initially cooperating and then eventually competing with each other. Right now, from what I can see, that transition from cooperating to competing has begun. And the games would get only interesting.
Next up is affinity to the Fourth Estate. All the experts, on the Internet, off the Internet, in our minds, in their minds are on one hand proclaiming that they are not here to get famous. And on the other hand, everyone wants their 15 seconds of fame. Even if those 15 seconds are buried on the nineteenth page in the bottom corner in microscopic font, it shall be put highest on the long list of similar achievements.
Achievements is yet another aspect. I have met people who have started three companies and hence they are experts on starting up. All three had to shut down is a different story. Then I have met people who have been blogging for 8 years now and hence they are India's first bloggers. Then I met this girl who is an awesome public speaker and her claim to fame is that she manages a school for the underprivileged. And this in her opinion makes her an authority on NGOs in India. If someone asked her where do NGOs file their returns, she would not know as she is not a "business person". Then my best friend is a property dealer in Greater NOIDA and hes been doing it for about 11 years now. And he thinks he is the next KP Singh. There are plenty of such examples. Reminds me of that book, Extraordinary popular delusions. In this case, they are not really popular delusions, but, personal ones. If Mr. MacKay was alive, I would have pleaded him to write a version.
Last agenda on this long rant is lack of opportunities to broaden my horizon that universities and companies in the west provide in abundance. For us Indians, education is something that you get over with in one stretch (typically end with a MBA, MCA, MTECH, MD etc). And then you start working. Studying for few years, taking a break, working, traveling, cooing back to study et al are alien concepts. If you are 27 and you did your MBA three years ago, sitting at home to figure out your next career step is nothing less than a cardinal sin that even a dip in holy Ganges might not help. One might argue there are people who are doing it now. But what percentage of the population? And why? This is a different tangent all together. Lets not go there.
Coming back, so once I start working, its an absolute no-no to stop, identify/learn/develop a new skill and change your industry etc. Even if I want to remain in the "industry" I am in (we don't look at life and work as separate entities), advancement means promotion. Thats it. We don't care if we advance the industry/profession or contribute something to it. All we want to do is reach the next level, faster than our peers. After all if pados kay sharmaji ka beta is a National Sales Manager at 28, there is no way I can be just a Regional Sales Manager. Universities here shrug you off moment they confer the degree/diploma on you. Universities abroad offer an environment where you can grow. Where you contribute. Where you learn even after you have been awarded that diploma.
Again, have to cut it short. Probably a part three might come soon. Like Moby asked, why does my heart, feel so bad?
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