The War Of Words

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.

I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

Marilyn Monroe

THIS IS A REAL STORY. Of a dream I saw. Yesterday night.

I am in a building attending some talk or something and suddenly a guy comes and whispers in the ears of someone important. Like they do in President's ears in most movies. And since I observe people, I understand that something is wrong. And then someone announces that we have been surrounded by terrorists. I guess (in the dream) that they might take us hostage but I get this feeling that I am going to die. I check out. There are two escape routes. I peek through the window on the left. I see one guy dressed in a pathan suit (images) and crouched near the wall of the courtyard. Yes there was a courtyard. And a wall. And yes I get these many details in my dreams. I get vivid dreams. (Not that vivid). So I see that there is a terrorist. And he was talking to someone on the phone (or was it a walkie-talkie?) and making gestures towards someone on the other side of the wall. I then go and check the other entrance/exit. I dont remember what I see there. And then I realize that I am going to die. I think that what a waste. A life where you promised a lot and ended by a gunshot. Without a warning. Aint that how most lives end? Anyways so once I realize I was going to die, I try to find places to hide (yes first thoughts were to find places to hide). I also think about possibilities of locking the building down. I also think of ways to control the people there and use their help to save ourselves. Now that I am writing, somehow the thought of calling for help dint come that time!. And then, I have no clue what happened. Next thing I remember is my cellphone buzzing and showing that its 5:30 AM and time to get up!

Thats it. Short and simple. Sans climax. Any interpretations?

Aaj Pehli Tareekh Hai

Nov 01, 2009.

In an ideal world, today would have been day 1 of a new month. And would have meant, amongst other things, salary. Ok, if not salary, the hopes of getting one (my salary usually came in the beginning of the second week). Salary meant that bank balance would be back to respectable levels (which IMHO is subjective). And that would mean midnight buffets with friends at five stars (and an opportunity to ogle at pseudo-celebrities, act rich and snobbish). And would mean a new gadget (that I would use for exactly four days. Ask my iPod, PSP, Kalieodoscope, Rubik's Cube, Dominoes, Juggling Balls etc.). And would mean a new pair of jeans/sneakers/tees etc (and bragging points for redefining desi "coolness"). And would mean plans to travel to yet another place (and once in a while those plans did work and me and Neo explored places, mountains, rivers, roads, people, ourselves) . And it would mean decisions of investing whatever is left in some penny stock (hoping that that might go up by 500% in one week and dreaming the vicious cycle of dreams). And it would initiate those conversations where you compared your paycheck with your classmates and colleagues (and you discovered that you earned the least among the lot).

Sigh! those were the days.

Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan

Another lyrics. After ages. Goosebumps material. From Chak De India (IMDB, wiki).

Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)

Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)

Tere Sang Kheli Holi
Tere Sang Thi Diwali
Tere Anganon Ki Chhaya
Tere Sang Sawan Aaya
Pher Le Tu Chahe Nazaren Chahe Chura Le
Laut Ke Tu Aayega Re Shart Laga Le

Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (2)

Mitti Meri Bhi Guhi
Wohi Mere Ghee Aur Churi
Wohi Ranjhe Mere Wohi Heer
Wohi Sevaiyyan Wohi Kheer
Tujh Se Hi Rooth Na Re Tujhe Hi Manana
Tere Mera Naata Koi Dooja Na Jaana

Teeja Tera Rang Tha Main To (2)
Jiya Tere Dhang Se Main To
Tu Hi Tha Maula, Tu Hi Aan
Maula Mere Lele Meri Jaan (4)

I would consider myself lucky if I could ever write something like this!

Credits: Copied lyrics from Chandani's youtube video.

RIP David Shepard

David Shepard, one of those few umpires who I still remember from the time I was a fan of the game.

You would be missed.

Bash

I bashed my car. Two time in two days. It sucks. Not the dents on the car but the thought that I cant drive it well enough to keep it on the road. And I hate the feeling.

And now I am being irrational. I am thinking maybe I don't deserve to drive. Maybe I am cursed. I am talking like superstitious person. I am tempted to pray to Vishwakara everytime before I touch my steering wheel. Blah.

Poor Santro. I treat her as a step child ever since @sgElectra happened to me.

Anyways, next time on, shall be careful.

Escape Perfectionism

Thanks to HN, I got link to this great post on the Harvard Business blog. Extracting a quote from there ...

Perfectionists have a hard time starting things and an even harder time finishing them. At the beginning, it's they who aren't ready. At the end, it's their product that's not. So either they don't start the screenplay or it sits in their drawer for ten years because they don't want to show it to anyone.

But the world doesn't reward perfection. It rewards productivity. And productivity can only be achieved through imperfection. Make a decision. Follow through. Learn from the outcome. Repeat over and over and over again. It's the scientific method of trial and error. Only by wading through the imperfect can we begin to achieve glimpses of the perfect.

Am not sure if the tips in the blog work but I could relate the note to my personal experience. Am sure many more would be able to. It took me three years to resign from a day job and start working for myself. All this because I was trying to put everything in place before I took the leap. I dint realize that I can never put everything in place without knowing what to put in place. Feedback loop (+ and -) you see. I was trying not to fail. And as a result, I wasn't even trying.

Any more people trapped in the "perfection" loop, please read the complete blog post. And resign and start up! Remember that shoe company that asks us to just do it?

Crossposted on Cyntax Blog

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Cos its a bitter sweet symphony .. this life.

Love this song. Here are the lyrics and vid ..

Lyrics

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no

Well, I've never prayed,
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here with my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no

(Well have you ever been down?)
(I can't change, I can't change...)
(Ooooohhhhh...)

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
You know I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold, I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no
I can't change my mold, no,no,no,no,no

(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(It justs sex and violence melody and silence)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)
(Been down)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)(Lalalalalalaaaaaaaa...)
(Ever been down)
(Ever been down)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)
(Have you ever been down?)

Lyrics from Lyrics 007.

Eternal Optimist

Guess Who?

From Harold's Planet