Last few days, I have been travelling like crazy. And as a direct result, I have missed out on the treadmill farce and writing. So much so that I had this urgent itch that I had to scratch and write something. Ofcourse I am not a good writer and unlike most people I dont even have any story to tell, but there is something about writing that gives me kick. The readership remains at a dismal 2 (including myself), all the fan mails (and hate mails - what ever I had) have stopped, comments were anyways absent, that elusive book offer never materialized, even the random visitors that Google searches sent my way are on a decline.
So while I am at Mumbai airport, en route to Bangalore, I had some ten minutes and I couldnt think of a better time, place or the opportunity to scratch the damn itch and get over with writing something. Even if its a rant. About itches.
Open Letter to Ms. Vidya Balan
Dear Ms. Balan,
This letter is to being to your note your recent actions for the movie The Dirty Picture. Though its a very gutsy role and all that but if you look at yourself objectively in mirror, you would realize that you look gross (for want of a better word). Of course this is my opinion and you may ignore it. But you need to realize that fat oozing out from under skimpy clothes is NOT a turn off. In fact it may squeeze all the blood out of a man's brain. If you know what I mean. First time I saw the photographs of your semi naked lewd pose I almost puked. Even thinking about it gives me jitters. You may consider acting in Final Destination franchise. They are on a constant lookout for things that induce slow death on viewers.
I understand that Silk Smitha might have been voluptuous and desirable back then. But like all things, times change. And they have changed for sure. We no longer live in an era where availability of soft porn is a concern. Back, may be there werent enough women who were ready to drop their clothes for pennies. All respect to her for whatever she did. I am uneducated about the matter and whatever I know about her is because of your new movie. At least that is what your movie portrays Ms. Smitha as.
I know that the business of making movies is going through a rough patch and you guys are in dire need of good ideas and concepts. If only you guys get out of the self-delusional mode and accept this, there are tons of able writers and thinkers who are willing to help you. Look at your counterparts in the west. Look at their cinema. Their movies are much more meaningful and even if when they stray of the tried and tested formula, they come up with gems like Slumdog.
I have nothing to do with Bollywood apart from being an occasional movie goes but I am hoping to make a career in the entertainment business. And as a result I become a minor stakeholder. Would request you to take a deep breath and relook at what you've done.
I normally dont write into actors but this time I have made an exception and I am sincerly hoping that someone from your PR team reads this and puts some sense into you.
Humbly,
An ex-fan
This letter is to being to your note your recent actions for the movie The Dirty Picture. Though its a very gutsy role and all that but if you look at yourself objectively in mirror, you would realize that you look gross (for want of a better word). Of course this is my opinion and you may ignore it. But you need to realize that fat oozing out from under skimpy clothes is NOT a turn off. In fact it may squeeze all the blood out of a man's brain. If you know what I mean. First time I saw the photographs of your semi naked lewd pose I almost puked. Even thinking about it gives me jitters. You may consider acting in Final Destination franchise. They are on a constant lookout for things that induce slow death on viewers.
I understand that Silk Smitha might have been voluptuous and desirable back then. But like all things, times change. And they have changed for sure. We no longer live in an era where availability of soft porn is a concern. Back, may be there werent enough women who were ready to drop their clothes for pennies. All respect to her for whatever she did. I am uneducated about the matter and whatever I know about her is because of your new movie. At least that is what your movie portrays Ms. Smitha as.
I know that the business of making movies is going through a rough patch and you guys are in dire need of good ideas and concepts. If only you guys get out of the self-delusional mode and accept this, there are tons of able writers and thinkers who are willing to help you. Look at your counterparts in the west. Look at their cinema. Their movies are much more meaningful and even if when they stray of the tried and tested formula, they come up with gems like Slumdog.
I have nothing to do with Bollywood apart from being an occasional movie goes but I am hoping to make a career in the entertainment business. And as a result I become a minor stakeholder. Would request you to take a deep breath and relook at what you've done.
I normally dont write into actors but this time I have made an exception and I am sincerly hoping that someone from your PR team reads this and puts some sense into you.
Humbly,
An ex-fan
The Road is a Friend
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| From my PhotoBlog |
To start with, I realized who my best friend is. Before I talk about him, let me define a friend. For me, a friend is someone that makes you happy. A friend is someone with whom you could be yourself. A friend will not judge you for whatever you do. A friend is someone who gives you hope. Someone who is around, when you need him. I have been really lucky in my life to have got a lot to friends to count on. I know they would be there for me when I need them. If I started typing their names here, it would take me forever. So rather than making this post sound like a yearbook, let me come to the point.
The best friend. For me, the road is a friend. Inspired generously from the Apollo Tyres campaign. There is something about the road that mystifies me. There is something that attracts me. There is something that calls me. And when I do get to hit the road, I am at my best. I am upbeat. I am so full of excitement that I can feel pulsating in my nerves. There are endless possibilities in front of me. I can choose the destination. I can choose to stand still. I can choose to do what I want. I am the commander of my destiny. I become I. I come alive.
The romance with the road, I believe has always been with me. I dont know when I realized my individuality and started thinking (and with it, developed tastes, likes and dislikes). But I think love of the road was something that came automatically to me. Ever since I can remember I have wanted to travel. Explore the unexplored. Discover the hidden. Of course the perfect world we live in, there are factors like time and money to consider but there has to be able to become one with the friend. Exactly the stuff the dreams are made of.
P.S.: I am hitting the road tomorrow. I would be gone for a week. And like Red says, I am already feeling the excitement of a free man. A free man at the start of a new journey whose conclusion is uncertain.
I feel Purple
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| Image Credits: Jerome B |
I feel someone has sucked all the energy and vigor from me. Though I am suffering from fever, cold and cough and even a task like breathing is taking a lot of effort. So much so that I am wondering how cool would it be if we could recharge the batteries and then not bother about breathing, eating, peeing etc. In short, I really hate it when I am unwell.
I have noticed that in last few years, I get unwell at regular intervals. I have always prided in my immune system. I had stomach made of steel and I could eat anywhere and anything and still digest it. I dint have to wear any warm clothes even in peak winters. I could tolerate any extremes. But for last few years, I think after I went to MDI, my systems got fucked. Not that I do drugs or booze. I dont even smoke. But then something went wrong and I am now sick often. I need to do something about it.
Apart from that this is unrelated but I have been listen to Jo Bhi Main from Rockstar on a loop since morning. Hear it. Absolute bliss.
The New GMail Sucks
Ladies and Gentlemen, today I take up your precious time and invest my energy in putting forth an opinion, that in one short sentence says, The new gmail sucks.
So much so that since I started using gmail more than 7+ years back, I am considering moving to an alternative free email provider. I am inclined towards hotmail. I will give it a shot in a while and see if I want to port to hotmail.
Coming back to the new gmail, I am not denying that there are some great features. The cascading search bar, the new tabs on left, the conversations are all nice but the underlying UI is really bad. Its very bland in the default theme and once I switch to the HD themes, it looks sick. Reminds me of geocities and freeserver days when people would make gory pages with glittering fonts, blinking images and haphazardly placed text in various fonts.
I sincerely hope that with time, they release some new themes because I cant seem to get the new theme working on my netbook. May be it works nicely on the large monitors used by developers and designers. May be I am too boring for the exciting world of coders and designers to appreciate the design and fluidity in the design! Ofcouse in time, Google devta would prove to be right and I would get used to the new look. This post would be easily forgotten and the anguish I am facing at this minute shall be rendered useless.
Damn!
And just a thought. I dont use Google +. And I have stopped using Google Reader ever since I got the Pulse Reader and RSS Reader on iPad. Whats wrong at Google? Someone at design team at Google needs to be fired? Or its just me?
So much so that since I started using gmail more than 7+ years back, I am considering moving to an alternative free email provider. I am inclined towards hotmail. I will give it a shot in a while and see if I want to port to hotmail.
Coming back to the new gmail, I am not denying that there are some great features. The cascading search bar, the new tabs on left, the conversations are all nice but the underlying UI is really bad. Its very bland in the default theme and once I switch to the HD themes, it looks sick. Reminds me of geocities and freeserver days when people would make gory pages with glittering fonts, blinking images and haphazardly placed text in various fonts.
I sincerely hope that with time, they release some new themes because I cant seem to get the new theme working on my netbook. May be it works nicely on the large monitors used by developers and designers. May be I am too boring for the exciting world of coders and designers to appreciate the design and fluidity in the design! Ofcouse in time, Google devta would prove to be right and I would get used to the new look. This post would be easily forgotten and the anguish I am facing at this minute shall be rendered useless.
Damn!
And just a thought. I dont use Google +. And I have stopped using Google Reader ever since I got the Pulse Reader and RSS Reader on iPad. Whats wrong at Google? Someone at design team at Google needs to be fired? Or its just me?
One in a million!
We are 7 billion strong. And funny bit is that countries from Brazil to Indonesia to Philippines to India are all trying to claim the fame! I mean dude! Are we guys serious? Are we proud that we are 7 billion?
And I heard on the radio that apparently doctors in India were told to hold births (or may be merely birth registrations) to ensure that the 7 billionth child is a woman. How stupid can we get?
This reminds me of the times when I was a kid. When I was growing up, my mom showered blessings on me and told me that I was one in millions. That time I just gushed at it and was embarrassed. I could not appreciate the true meaning behind her comments. Now when I travel in the Delhi metro (or Mumbai locals), get stuck in endless traffic jams, stand in long queues to even pee, I realize what she really meant. I am indeed one in millions. Wait. One in Seven Billion!
Sweet November - 1000 words a day!
Sweet November is just around the corner. Apart from being a movie that I dearly love, this is the month when tons of people across America (and probably many other countries around the world) decide and write a novel in one month flat. Matt Cutt says (in his very famous TED talk), the task is not that daunting if you break it into smaller units. And more importantly, stay at it for next 30 days.
I have always harbored a secret dream of being a published writer (not that I admit it all the time). So much so that its on my bucket list. So, November 2011 would be the month when I shall write my first piece of fiction. I dont know the plot or the characters right now but by end of November this year, I would have the first draft in place.
Oh, by the way, apart from the book (or novel or a travelogue or a collection of short stories), I will write1000 1700 words a day. Though I dont know if I would post these posts on this blog or I will host them somewhere else. And I am working on a secret project for a friend. Her birthday is around the corner and my gift idea for her involves a lot of writing. And I am travelling to Mumbai, Goa and Agra this month.
November sounds like a super busy month! Wish me luck. And you may pre-order your copies here. The first 100 orders get a signed copy!
I have always harbored a secret dream of being a published writer (not that I admit it all the time). So much so that its on my bucket list. So, November 2011 would be the month when I shall write my first piece of fiction. I dont know the plot or the characters right now but by end of November this year, I would have the first draft in place.
Oh, by the way, apart from the book (or novel or a travelogue or a collection of short stories), I will write
November sounds like a super busy month! Wish me luck. And you may pre-order your copies here. The first 100 orders get a signed copy!
5 Crores on Kaun Banega Crorepati
Sushil Kumar, Anonymous, finally has won the grandest prize of all on Indian television, 5 crores in a game show hosted by Amitabh Bachchan (KBC). What makes the story so captivating and gut wrentching is the fact that the guy who won, makes 6000 bucks a month working as a computer operator and a private tutor. On the promo, he comes across as under confident, miss understood, dreamer and everything else that I can easily relate to.
Like, I was thinking yesterday, its not about the amount but about the fact that any individual from anywhere in the country today can realize his dreams. It reinforces my belief that nothing is impossible in life!
And yes, blame me for being yet another fool that Indian Television Industry has been monetizing for decades.
Like, I was thinking yesterday, its not about the amount but about the fact that any individual from anywhere in the country today can realize his dreams. It reinforces my belief that nothing is impossible in life!
And yes, blame me for being yet another fool that Indian Television Industry has been monetizing for decades.
Pursuit of Fitness
So, as part of a bet, I need to lose 7 inches by first week of December. And for that I joined a gym. For the first time in my life, ladies and gentlemen, I stepped inside a gym. The scene inside made me sick the moment I got in. Men, women and others of all shapes, sizes, ages, odors, colors were at work. More than work they were staring at themselves in the huge mirrors that lined up the walls of the gym. After every nano second of workout, they would find the nearest mirror, twitch their muscle, smile at themselves and then look around, just in case that cute member from the opposite sex was appreciating the apparent display of hormones.I mean I have met tons of self-obsessed people but this was beyond me. This was self-obsession 2.0 and not one, not two but the entire human race in that small area was engaged in it.
Anyways a man's gotta go what a man's gotta do. So despite alle the testosterone around me, I tied up a handkerchief around my nose, tied my shoe laces, bought a fancy blue gym short and, as they say, hit the gym. The first few days were pain. And disgrace. I could barely jog. Now if you dont know me, you may want to visualize a sack of potatoes. If not that, than a walrus. If not even that, I think you need to move on to some other link. So I am as large and lazy as these two and its an effort to move an inch. Here I was expected to run for miles and miles if I had any hopes of losing flab around my waist.
I have been at it for about two weeks now. Of course the results havent started showing. I compensate for all the ahrd work but religiously eating daal makhani and butter naans for dinner. Though I am still off coke. Been more than three months. Who would have believed! Anyways so its been two weeks now and today for the first time ever, I managed to job for 2 KMs at a speed for 8 kmph. That means I was faster than what an average human being walks at and I covered more distance in one shot than I have ever covered. For me, this is nothing short of winning an Olympic medal, in bob-sledging . I was very very happy. I clapped for myself. Adn thankfully for a minute all the appreciating-thyself stopped for a minute and it was converted into is-this-bald-guy mad look. And then as if I had never clapped, people were back to their mirrors and mutual admiration societies. I loved myself at that instant for being able to pull off the the task. Reminded me of Pursuit of Happyness. And the scene where Chris (Will Smith) claps for himself.
And just in case you havent seen this movie, you need to see it for sure. The guy in the scene is offered a job and he needs it more than anyone else in the world and it has come to him after a very long wait and a lot of toil. This is how he chooses to celebrate the moment. Watch from 1:43 if you are short of time!
And in the end, if not anything, please do pray that I win the bet. On stake is something that can potentially change my life!
Anyways a man's gotta go what a man's gotta do. So despite alle the testosterone around me, I tied up a handkerchief around my nose, tied my shoe laces, bought a fancy blue gym short and, as they say, hit the gym. The first few days were pain. And disgrace. I could barely jog. Now if you dont know me, you may want to visualize a sack of potatoes. If not that, than a walrus. If not even that, I think you need to move on to some other link. So I am as large and lazy as these two and its an effort to move an inch. Here I was expected to run for miles and miles if I had any hopes of losing flab around my waist.
I have been at it for about two weeks now. Of course the results havent started showing. I compensate for all the ahrd work but religiously eating daal makhani and butter naans for dinner. Though I am still off coke. Been more than three months. Who would have believed! Anyways so its been two weeks now and today for the first time ever, I managed to job for 2 KMs at a speed for 8 kmph. That means I was faster than what an average human being walks at and I covered more distance in one shot than I have ever covered. For me, this is nothing short of winning an Olympic medal, in bob-sledging . I was very very happy. I clapped for myself. Adn thankfully for a minute all the appreciating-thyself stopped for a minute and it was converted into is-this-bald-guy mad look. And then as if I had never clapped, people were back to their mirrors and mutual admiration societies. I loved myself at that instant for being able to pull off the the task. Reminded me of Pursuit of Happyness. And the scene where Chris (Will Smith) claps for himself.
And just in case you havent seen this movie, you need to see it for sure. The guy in the scene is offered a job and he needs it more than anyone else in the world and it has come to him after a very long wait and a lot of toil. This is how he chooses to celebrate the moment. Watch from 1:43 if you are short of time!
And in the end, if not anything, please do pray that I win the bet. On stake is something that can potentially change my life!
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