As I write this, it's 7:18 AM and I am at Starbucks Powai outlet. There is yellow lights, the smell of freshly crushed coffee, AC at 22 (I guess) and not another soul here. Except for the Baristas, of course. And for all that it's worth, it feels like home. Really. More home than the place I live at. Or the place I lived at for years in Delhi. They were right when they said they would create the third place that people would keep coming back to. I keep coming back to it.
I don't live close to this one anymore and thus I don't really come here often. I go to a different one. And even though I am there literally every day, I still don't call it home. This one, the one at Powai gives me that feeling that a home is supposed to - safety, warmth, belongingness and other such things. The funny bit is that this place is not very comfortable and is always crowded with rich kids and fancy people. I can't stretch my legs. I can't lie down. I can't wear comfortable clothes. But despite all those things, this place, ladies and gents, feels like home.
Thanks for reading.
Oh, as I write this, the only thing swirling in my head is that I must hate my current place so much that I find comfort in a strange land and with strange people. May be. Any shrinks reading this?
Sleepless.
The unthinkable happened yesterday.
I got a call from my landlord asking me to pay my rent that was overdue. No, the rent was not overdue because I could not pay. I have the money. But because there is a cash component in the rent that requires me to withdraw cash and send someone over to his office and deposit the same. Haha, cashless economy. And of course, I could not find someone to do that! Thus the snafu.
So the landlord called me and was curt when he spoke to me about it. I don't blame him. If I were him, I would do the same. I would probably be rude as well. He wasn't. Thank God for that.
This call is not the point. Neither is the fact that I am late.
The point is, I haven't been able to sleep since then. Because I am rattled that I owe some money to someone and I haven't paid them on time. Fuck these middle-class values that are so deeply ingrained in me.
I am so rattled that its 2 AM and despite the long, tiring day I had, I am unable to sleep. I had to get up and get this out of my head. I can't seem to stop thinking about the call from my landlord! And no, I am not exaggerating! I just couldn't sleep! And not that I am getting thrown out of my place anytime soon, the landlord is very kind. But this is unsettling af. To a point that I had to get up and dump my thoughts on the blog! Darn.
Thing is, all my life I have lived debt-free. The last big loan I took was for my MBA at MDI. And that was in 2006. Since then, the only money that I've ever owed to anyone has been either credit cards (which are great to give you some liquidity for a few days) or business loans (I still owesome a lot of money to a lot of people I've borrowed from, for work). In either case (cards, business loans), I understand my obligations. I know that there is an impending deadline and I know that I will pay the money back. Was the same with rent. But I know I missed the deadline. And that has set in motion a chain of events that I am not sure how to fix!
Fuck I have lost lakhs and lakhs on business ideas that I thought could work, people that I thought were sincere, cancelled hotel bookings, expensive gadgets that I don't need and even on friends that I thought would pay me back when they could. And more. And yet, I've slept like a baby. I have not given money a second thought ever. Even when I had close to zero in my bank, I did not bother. I knew something would work out. It always does. Not this time.
You know, time and again I am reminded that my relationship with money is warped and I need to fix it. For multiple reasons.
I got a call from my landlord asking me to pay my rent that was overdue. No, the rent was not overdue because I could not pay. I have the money. But because there is a cash component in the rent that requires me to withdraw cash and send someone over to his office and deposit the same. Haha, cashless economy. And of course, I could not find someone to do that! Thus the snafu.
So the landlord called me and was curt when he spoke to me about it. I don't blame him. If I were him, I would do the same. I would probably be rude as well. He wasn't. Thank God for that.
This call is not the point. Neither is the fact that I am late.
The point is, I haven't been able to sleep since then. Because I am rattled that I owe some money to someone and I haven't paid them on time. Fuck these middle-class values that are so deeply ingrained in me.
I am so rattled that its 2 AM and despite the long, tiring day I had, I am unable to sleep. I had to get up and get this out of my head. I can't seem to stop thinking about the call from my landlord! And no, I am not exaggerating! I just couldn't sleep! And not that I am getting thrown out of my place anytime soon, the landlord is very kind. But this is unsettling af. To a point that I had to get up and dump my thoughts on the blog! Darn.
Thing is, all my life I have lived debt-free. The last big loan I took was for my MBA at MDI. And that was in 2006. Since then, the only money that I've ever owed to anyone has been either credit cards (which are great to give you some liquidity for a few days) or business loans (I still owe
Fuck I have lost lakhs and lakhs on business ideas that I thought could work, people that I thought were sincere, cancelled hotel bookings, expensive gadgets that I don't need and even on friends that I thought would pay me back when they could. And more. And yet, I've slept like a baby. I have not given money a second thought ever. Even when I had close to zero in my bank, I did not bother. I knew something would work out. It always does. Not this time.
You know, time and again I am reminded that my relationship with money is warped and I need to fix it. For multiple reasons.
- A, I don't understand money. At all. I thought that it was a mere tool to conduct exchange. But clearly, it is a lot more.
- B, I want a lot of it but I don't know where to go get it.
- C, I know its not important (it is important but not worth obsessing over. Its just a tool) and yet a lot of my mindspace is occupied with it.
- D, I wont know what to do with it, if I had all the money in the world!
- E, I don't even know the utility of money apart from buying comforts. I mean money to me means freedom - to do things as per your whims. And to say no to things that you would not want to do! What else is it?
- F, The kind of life I live (and plan to live), I am not sure if I would ever want to buy a house. And if I am not buying, and renting is the only option, how will I ever live with peace? Pay all the rent in advance?
Of course, I am privileged to have access to enough money to live a fairly decent lifestyle, so what if it is in Ghatkopar - it is still a modern high-rise. I sincerely don't know what would I do if I had to live like most other Indians do. I'd probably give up :(. The thought itself is scary.
To a point that I have this renewed commitment to do whatever it takes (saam, daam, dand, bhed and more) to make all the money that I can. So that I don't ever have to get a similar call from anyone. Ever.
Oh, and one more thing. If I have to be that ruthless dude that can make the dent in the universe, how am I to survive if a simple phone call can rattle me so much?
Any ideas? answers? tips?
-
Saurabh Garg
3:51 AM, 20 Mar 2019,
Mumbai.
#untitled - 17Mar19
There is nothing specific that I want to say. I write this because I have nothing else to do. I mean I do have a few million tasks to do a few thousand projects to work on and a few hundred conversations to make and a few billions to make. But right now, I am not sure if I want to work on any of those things. I do however want to not waste the time and consume something that just allows me to not get bored. Plus today is a special day. Plus there are so many thoughts in my head that need taming. Plus I am so restless that I need meditative things to be able to not lose sanity. I need music from Lucky Ali and Rabbi Shergill and Silk Route and the ilk. You know, the one that I grew up on? Or from Bob Dylan, if you will. If I were any different, I would get drunk. Or get high. Or get slow. Or whatever. Something that soothes me. Something that pats me on the back and tells me that all would be ok. And gives me that big bear hug that puts me at peace.
No no. I am not in need of medication or therapy or something. Alls well. Just that I need to be able to find ways to make enough to chase that I want to pursue.
Chalo, over and out and lemme go find out something that adds meaning. Meanwhile, see this.
No no. I am not in need of medication or therapy or something. Alls well. Just that I need to be able to find ways to make enough to chase that I want to pursue.
Chalo, over and out and lemme go find out something that adds meaning. Meanwhile, see this.
A new writing project - Secret Diary of an Uber Driver
Lately, I have been using this app called Headspace to meditate and get sleep. While meditation is a guided "lesson" in one or more disciplines of life, sleep is where I listen to bedtime stories that have soothing voiceovers, ambient noises that humans like when they sleep and calming non-commital stories. You know how those old nannies would sing a lullaby? You know soft kitty, warm kitty? That!
So, one of the sleep stories on Headspace is a mid-night scene from a Laundromat. In that, its the story of a boring room where people come and wash their clothes. And while they wash, the machines make this rhythmic sounds that are sleep-inducing. I don't know the science but they work! In the story, they talk about people and that's when it hit me. What if I wrote a book, a collection of stories about people where they are at a certain place for a short time and reveal a small part of their lives. And that's it!
Lets park this here. Call this A.
You've seen Forrest Gump? Essentially, the entire movie is in a flashback as Forrest sits on a bus stop and narrates various slices to various people. Let's call this B.
On my way back home yesterday, I was in an Uber and I had this long conversation with the driver on Punjabi music (see tweet). In that conversation, the driver told me about the kind of people that sit in his car. From a couple that the driver thought was faking it, to an old man that shed tears for some reason, to a student running late for her exam, to so many more. Each ride, he said, was a story! And while some may come across as commonplace stories, I am sure there would be many that would be worth telling. And worth listening. And worth spreading. This is C.
Now, if I club A, B and C, what if I worked with the driver to write a series of short stories about the people that travel in these cabs? Each of these is inspired by the riders. Each of these has some element of truth. And then there is fiction. And the element of storytelling.
What do you think? Would you read? Would you share?
Oh, I call it the 'Secret Diary of an Uber Driver'.
Lemme know!
PS: I know you may be thinking of privacy and all that. At no point, we would use any personally identifiable information when we write these stories.
PPS: Why would I do this? As a writer, I need practise. And while the daily SoG and Book2 are happening, I need to flex the muscle. And this is a pretty interesting way. No?
So, one of the sleep stories on Headspace is a mid-night scene from a Laundromat. In that, its the story of a boring room where people come and wash their clothes. And while they wash, the machines make this rhythmic sounds that are sleep-inducing. I don't know the science but they work! In the story, they talk about people and that's when it hit me. What if I wrote a book, a collection of stories about people where they are at a certain place for a short time and reveal a small part of their lives. And that's it!
Lets park this here. Call this A.
You've seen Forrest Gump? Essentially, the entire movie is in a flashback as Forrest sits on a bus stop and narrates various slices to various people. Let's call this B.
On my way back home yesterday, I was in an Uber and I had this long conversation with the driver on Punjabi music (see tweet). In that conversation, the driver told me about the kind of people that sit in his car. From a couple that the driver thought was faking it, to an old man that shed tears for some reason, to a student running late for her exam, to so many more. Each ride, he said, was a story! And while some may come across as commonplace stories, I am sure there would be many that would be worth telling. And worth listening. And worth spreading. This is C.
Now, if I club A, B and C, what if I worked with the driver to write a series of short stories about the people that travel in these cabs? Each of these is inspired by the riders. Each of these has some element of truth. And then there is fiction. And the element of storytelling.
What do you think? Would you read? Would you share?
Oh, I call it the 'Secret Diary of an Uber Driver'.
Lemme know!
PS: I know you may be thinking of privacy and all that. At no point, we would use any personally identifiable information when we write these stories.
PPS: Why would I do this? As a writer, I need practise. And while the daily SoG and Book2 are happening, I need to flex the muscle. And this is a pretty interesting way. No?
The Mosquito Net
It is 0651 and I am at a Starbucks outlet - the only one that opens 24x7, close to the airport. I am here because I could not sleep last night. And why is that? Because there were way too many mosquitoes at home and I did not have a repellant. While I dream of becoming an assassin that can survive the jungles and all that, I cant sleep in a room that has like 10 mosquitoes. Talk of a guarded life and all that. Salute to the ones that can tolerate the menace of the blood-sucking monsters. Literally. They take your blood away. And no, it is not cool how they do it. Bitches.
The other reason could be this ongoing restless in my head. You know how everything is ok and yet you think someone is missing? That!
I mean I have nothing to be alarmed about. Work is not really smooth but I have enough to live in comfort. Health is not the greatest but I am recovering. I am not making an impact but I think I am at this point where I am sort of beginning to accept that I may die an insignificant death. I am not an artist and I don't have the luxury of time to be one. I regret that I wasted so much time while I was young. All those years that I spent chasing dreams for other people were meaningless. The opportunities that I am creating for people that work with me, I wish someone created those for me when I was younger. Ok, enough of a rant.
The funny part is that I am unable to sleep even though I took R14. And I got this head massage last night (that is supposed to help me sleep better). Plus, I am on this non-stop trip to meditate and make my head denser (again, one of the side benefits is that it relaxes you). Plus I ensure that the room is cold enough. But then the mosquitoes did not get the memo I guess. And the demons in my head (if I may call them that) probably got the memo but decided to toss it in the bin. I am sure they would've missed the shot (after all they are in my head).
The good part (of course there is a good part) is that I am at Starbucks. And that means I got some work done. For example, I wrote and sent #SoG100. I am writing this post. I will write a short note on #tnks that I can send to studios for adaptation into a film. Etc etc.
You may ask, if you couldn't sleep, you could've worked at home. Why waste money on travel and expensive, tasteless coffee?
That's the other thing. Despite all my attempts in all sincerity, I have come to realise that I can't work at home. Last two days I have just wasted time on TV like a sloth and ate like a pig.
I MUST spend as less time as I could at home. Before this bout of unwellness (lol), I actually was using my home to merely sleep. Life was following a routine and things would happen on autopilot. Life was that predictable that I was a sitting duck if someone wanted to kill me. But why would they? I am worth nothing.
But thanks to this in and out trip to a life of routine, I now EXACTLY know what they mean when they say that routines set you free. I loved it when I knew that I will be at my desk at wework at 7 and will come back home and sleep once I am done with my work. I could pack in a lot more. I could get so much more done. I had my time to myself and everyone around me could slot their life per my whims. The ones that wanted to meet me, made an effort to fit in. The ones that I wanted to meet, I'd make an effort. Life was good.
All was ok till I went to Goa and fell sick. Since then, I have been stuck with a bad bout of unwellness (lol x 2). Plus I was kinda busy with a project for the last 20 odd days. Now that it is over, I think I will get back to the routine. And will start focusing on the health. Starting today. Let's see how it goes. Step 1 is to get back to a good diet. I will need a few days of detox to get back to good eating habits. I am trying to fast today. I know I can - I ate enough over the last 7 days to actually get a bulge in my belly! All I need is to have enough water.
So yeah. That's about it.
January was a good start.
February was when I got derailed.
Maybe I will be back to grind in March.
Wish me luck.
And until next time...
As I end this, time is 0722. #randomStats
#Untitled - 21 Feb 2019
This is a short post. I am writing this as I take a break from the madness of an event setup. I dont do this normally but life hasnt been normal lately and now that its in this spiral, I better do all things that are typically not normal. Wow thats some gibberish. Anyhow. So I am at this event. This is among the largest events I do each year and the audience has atleast 100 people that are worth 100 crores. Each. Not kidding.
And each time I come here, I make a promise to myself that I will go back and do something that will make me as rich (as the attendees), if not more. And since I've been doing this (2016), I am yet to do it :(
Each time I do this, there is a bittersweet feeling.
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement at the prospect of doing an event. And then there is sadness that I am so so far from money that its as distant at the Everest.
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement about the a new show. Each event is a new show. Each show is new. And same. And yet different. And anxiety that you may not get to do this event next year!
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement about the things at stake while working on a project of this scale. And there is sadness that after this is over, that jolt that I need will go hanging for another year (assuming I get to do this event the next year).
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement because after each event you go back home with a new set of friends that in normal course of things, you'd never meet again. And there is this matter of chance that you'd bump into those people at some other juncture in life! And there is sadness that your regular tribe, your crew, your family, the people you are used to seeing next to you arent around when you are fucked with some crisis.
However a few things do get clear each time I do this. Chief of those is that I love this business like no other. The excitement of running a live show is unparalleled. If I ever choose to deviate from the mission that I am on with C4E, I will go and become a freelance event show director / producer. Really.
Talk of life goals, eh?
And each time I come here, I make a promise to myself that I will go back and do something that will make me as rich (as the attendees), if not more. And since I've been doing this (2016), I am yet to do it :(
Each time I do this, there is a bittersweet feeling.
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement at the prospect of doing an event. And then there is sadness that I am so so far from money that its as distant at the Everest.
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement about the a new show. Each event is a new show. Each show is new. And same. And yet different. And anxiety that you may not get to do this event next year!
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement about the things at stake while working on a project of this scale. And there is sadness that after this is over, that jolt that I need will go hanging for another year (assuming I get to do this event the next year).
Bittersweet because there is so much excitement because after each event you go back home with a new set of friends that in normal course of things, you'd never meet again. And there is this matter of chance that you'd bump into those people at some other juncture in life! And there is sadness that your regular tribe, your crew, your family, the people you are used to seeing next to you arent around when you are fucked with some crisis.
However a few things do get clear each time I do this. Chief of those is that I love this business like no other. The excitement of running a live show is unparalleled. If I ever choose to deviate from the mission that I am on with C4E, I will go and become a freelance event show director / producer. Really.
Talk of life goals, eh?
#Untitled - 17 Feb 2019
There is this ajeeb is sadness and I have no clue why. I wish I had a car that I could take to the hills. Or to the beach. Meet some strangers, get pally with them, talk of new things and not worry about the baggage that I am hiding in the boot of the car. I don't know what's the source of this sadness. Is it that I don't have anyone to hang out with. Or is it my lack of tangible achievements that makes me sad? Or maybe the fact that I've been unwell for last so many days. Or maybe its trip of sad songs that I am on. Really. Sad songs make you sad. Happy songs make you happy. I mean look at Punjabis. All most of their music is happy and they ARE the happiest bunch around.
Or maybe because I haven't written in the last few days. Or maybe because I faced this soul-crushing rejection a couple of days ago. Of course, rejection is not new to me - I have been rejected multiple times in the past for multiple things by multiple people and in multiple situations that were both controllable and uncontrollable. And yet when I play, I want to win. I don't like to lose.
I am not sure which one it is. But one of these is at fault. Or maybe something is at fault that I can't seem to put my finger to. And I don't like it. No, not the sadness. Sadness is ok. That's part and parcel of life. But the fact that I can't put my finger to it :(
I am so sad that I don't even know how to explain it to you.
If it were a colour, it would be what? Pale yellow?
If it were a song, it would be Tanhayee. Or maybe Kyon Main Jaagoon. Or that last scene and the sad riff from Kabhi Haa Kabhi Naa? You know that right?
If it were a cartoon character, it would be snoopy.
And if it were a piece of text, a poem, it would be this!
P.S.: You know the funny thing? On my daily letter (subscribe now), I wrote about how happiness is a great lifehack! Lol! Irony just turned in its grave.
P.P.S.: Wrote this yesterday but couldn't get around to publishing it. I thought it was too depressing. Reviewed today and no, it's not that sad or depressing.
Or maybe because I haven't written in the last few days. Or maybe because I faced this soul-crushing rejection a couple of days ago. Of course, rejection is not new to me - I have been rejected multiple times in the past for multiple things by multiple people and in multiple situations that were both controllable and uncontrollable. And yet when I play, I want to win. I don't like to lose.
I am not sure which one it is. But one of these is at fault. Or maybe something is at fault that I can't seem to put my finger to. And I don't like it. No, not the sadness. Sadness is ok. That's part and parcel of life. But the fact that I can't put my finger to it :(
I am so sad that I don't even know how to explain it to you.
If it were a colour, it would be what? Pale yellow?
If it were a song, it would be Tanhayee. Or maybe Kyon Main Jaagoon. Or that last scene and the sad riff from Kabhi Haa Kabhi Naa? You know that right?
If it were a cartoon character, it would be snoopy.
And if it were a piece of text, a poem, it would be this!
P.S.: You know the funny thing? On my daily letter (subscribe now), I wrote about how happiness is a great lifehack! Lol! Irony just turned in its grave.
P.P.S.: Wrote this yesterday but couldn't get around to publishing it. I thought it was too depressing. Reviewed today and no, it's not that sad or depressing.
15 years (and 7% of the year). #3
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| Image Source |
So, the first post on this blog came up on Jan 18, 2004. See it here. And yes, its cringe-inducing. But heck it was a start. To something that has become such an integral part of my life that I cant imagine a life without it. There have been times when I've thought of shutting the blog down, making it private, publishing an archive in to a book and merging with other publications that I have started at various times in life. I am sure I must have had many more bright ideas about the blog. Thankfully, I did not pay heed to any of those. This blog has become a constant for me. Something that I cant imagine my life without! Really.
Ok, time to stop reminiscing and look at today. And at the future.
As on 26th, 7% of the year is over. Yes! It feels like yesterday when everyone was chilling and making merry and ringing in the new year. But ladies and gents, time flies. At least for me.
27 days are over and I have not moved an inch in this year. I mean I did...
- signup for what could be the project of the lifetime,
- a 40-hour fast,
- start working on book2,
- start writing #SoG and have been almost consistent with those.
I also am meditating on and off. I recorded a podcast with Krishna. I am journaling very regularly. I have been able to lo-tech in my daily life (more pen and paper etc). And other small things.
But these remain scattered. And these dont really add up. You know.
And, I am still poor and look up to friends when the month ends. I am not yet fit. The abs are like a million workouts away. I have a million reasons to be sad. But then, like they said in Inside Out, I dont want Sadness to control my machine. I'd rather have Joy talk to you.
So Joy! He says that life has been good. Things are going great. Things are actually looking up. Need to sort relationships and money. Rest of it is in place. And no, havent given up on the dream to make a dent in the world. Or make a billion dollars. Or to climb the Everest. I will do it. The last two, before Jan 1, 2026. I am committed.
I just need to pull my socks and get back to the grind. I feel that digital detox that I did in Dec 2018 is to blame. I never came back. I mean I started using technology but I never picked up speed with work. The way I was at it. And you know the worse part? I am perfectly ok with not delivery. And no, its not cool. I will fix it. Promise.
Anyhow.
How is it going for you guys? Are you on track with your yearly goals? This piece on Harvard can actually help! Or may be not. I shared with a few friends and they were dismissal of this piece. Clickbait, they said.
What are your ideas / strategies for staying on course?
The Shoe Situation
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| The pair of Crocs that I wear everywhere I go. |
And you'd know that I have a million pairs already (even though I dont wear them).
And I have tried rather unsuccessfully in the past to start wearing em. At times its been at the insistence of my mentors, at times at the need thrown by attempts at losing weight, at times by my own wild thoughts and opinions about how I want to run my life.
But then none of these have been successful. And lapse back into this routine where I just throw on the Crocs and I am on my way.
But this changes from today on. Here are some reasons why.
Reason 1. I want to dress better.
No serious.
I mean even though I love all the ads that Raymonds makes, I have hated the concept of a well-dressed man. But now I know that I need to change that. Because I work in a world that evaluates people on the basis of what they wear and how they look.
I cant change the way I look but I can for sure change the way I dress.
Shoes is a great starting point!
The next would be clothing. At some point in life.
Plus, at the Mastermind group that I am a part of, I have made a commitment that I will be more presentable. This means that I need to have "decent" clothes on. Including shoes. And even though my design sense sucks, my choice of clothes is probably the worst ever, I will make an effort to be better. As long as I dont have to buy way too many clothes, minimalism you see.
Reason 2. Mumbai Metro!
Yes. The Metro.
No, people arent stomping on my feet just as yet but the entire city of Mumbai is dug up like a minefield and the ones like me who like to walk (and live in chappals) end up with feet that look like a mason's.
Which is ok.
But then most times when I walk, I club it with work. And like I said, we are judged by what we wear and signals we create rather than work we do. So I dont want to reach meetings with my feet covered in dust and muck.
From what I know, its ok to have a pair of shoes that is dirty but its a strict no to have feet that are dirty. Ergo.
And yes, I know people that carry a pair of shoes in their cars. You see when they step in a meeting, they change into those shoes.
I'd do this as well someday.
But lemme get a car. Which if all goes well, will be this year! Like I've been planning for almost 5 years!
Reason 3. Age.
Age?
Well, I am 36. And that means my body is on a downward spiral now. Joints, cartilages, muscles, tendons and I dont know what all are now weak, brittle and prone to breakage. And if I have to live till 120 (one of my #lifegoals), I better take care of these "assets".
Reason 4. All Birds.
All Birds has done what Nike (or Shoe Dog for that matter could not). No, they dint make a smart shoe or whatever. It has captured my attention (like all other things that wannabe hipsters like me chase). This is a pair of shoe I want! I dont need it. I have enough. But I want. You know what am saying?
***
In the end, if 2019 has to be a year of change (and superlative success), why would I not want to change this thing called dressing up?
Even though its devastating to have to change at 36 to be able to fit in. To get proved wrong after half the useful life is over.
But I think its not too late.
We remain students and we ought to continue to grow.
And improve.
And change.
Starting with shoes.
#in2019, I will...
Hello hello! Long time no see!
In case you dint hear, I was on this self-imposed digital detox. I know these things are often attempts at vanity but trust me I was not trying to be vain. A lot was (and is) happening with life and I needed a break from the routine. And routine from me was work, hustle, dream. Repeated in an unending cycle. In an ideal world, you want this cycle to be a growing spiral (you know the difference? Dont you? Scroll to the bottom of my version of difference). But since it was a circle, I needed to get away from it and look up. And thus the break.
Anyhow.
So, its 2019. We are one year away from that fabled 2020 that all of us looked up to when we were kids. Unrelated, the other fabled time horizon that everyone looked up to was Y2K. And thats like 20 years ago.
Truth be told, 2018 hasnt been the best year of my life.
Far from it.
In fact if I could undo it, I would.
I am not sure what did I get out of the year, apart from some very expensive lessons. I will probably talk about them in a few days (once I am ready) but for the time being, allow me to see ahead.
Coming to 2019.
2019, ladies and gents, means a new year. A new beginning.
And like every year, I want to make a longish list of all the great things that I will achieve in this year!
Oh, I dont know if you know or not, I am big on this concept of new year. Each year I spend substantial time thinking about how I'd make the new year the best of my life.
I write long notes on what I want to do.
I think hard about the year gone by.
I think harder about where I want to be.
And I look at my abilities.
I marry all three and then I come up with a list of things that I think I can do in the year ahead.
And because I was in this digidetox towards the end of 2018, I could not access my tools to do the homework required. I even made plans to travel to the hills for 3 days to work on these yearly things but because of a last minute snafu I couldnt go. Lol, such a cry baby!
Not important.
Important is that even though I could not spend the days leading to the new year in deep contemplation, I could still think of 4 large themes that I would chase in2019.
These are Writing, Health, Meditation, Relationships (how obvious ;) and how similar are these to your previous year themes!)!
From these four keywords, I have culled out things, goals, resolutions, plans that I want to work towards and achieve in 2019. Each thing adds up to get me closer to these 4 things. And these 4 take me closer to my life goals (Everest, $1Bn, Impact a billion lives).
So, in2019, I will...
P.S.: In case you are curious, here are similar posts from previous years: 2018, 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012.
In case you dint hear, I was on this self-imposed digital detox. I know these things are often attempts at vanity but trust me I was not trying to be vain. A lot was (and is) happening with life and I needed a break from the routine. And routine from me was work, hustle, dream. Repeated in an unending cycle. In an ideal world, you want this cycle to be a growing spiral (you know the difference? Dont you? Scroll to the bottom of my version of difference). But since it was a circle, I needed to get away from it and look up. And thus the break.
Anyhow.
So, its 2019. We are one year away from that fabled 2020 that all of us looked up to when we were kids. Unrelated, the other fabled time horizon that everyone looked up to was Y2K. And thats like 20 years ago.
Truth be told, 2018 hasnt been the best year of my life.
Far from it.
In fact if I could undo it, I would.
I am not sure what did I get out of the year, apart from some very expensive lessons. I will probably talk about them in a few days (once I am ready) but for the time being, allow me to see ahead.
Coming to 2019.
2019, ladies and gents, means a new year. A new beginning.
And like every year, I want to make a longish list of all the great things that I will achieve in this year!
Oh, I dont know if you know or not, I am big on this concept of new year. Each year I spend substantial time thinking about how I'd make the new year the best of my life.
I write long notes on what I want to do.
I think hard about the year gone by.
I think harder about where I want to be.
And I look at my abilities.
I marry all three and then I come up with a list of things that I think I can do in the year ahead.
And because I was in this digidetox towards the end of 2018, I could not access my tools to do the homework required. I even made plans to travel to the hills for 3 days to work on these yearly things but because of a last minute snafu I couldnt go. Lol, such a cry baby!
Not important.
Important is that even though I could not spend the days leading to the new year in deep contemplation, I could still think of 4 large themes that I would chase in2019.
These are Writing, Health, Meditation, Relationships (how obvious ;) and how similar are these to your previous year themes!)!
From these four keywords, I have culled out things, goals, resolutions, plans that I want to work towards and achieve in 2019. Each thing adds up to get me closer to these 4 things. And these 4 take me closer to my life goals (Everest, $1Bn, Impact a billion lives).
So, in2019, I will...
- attend a 10-day Vipassana retreat. I went for one in 2009 and its apt that I go after 10 years!
- do 4 Keto cycles of 20 days each.
- launch 12 new projects. One each month. I am not sure what these projects would be but they have to be side hustles that allow me to make money. And more importantly, teach me!
- turn off technology for 3 consecutive days (weekends hopefully), once a month.
- read 24 books. I used to be a voracious reader at a point in time. I lost it somewhere. I will get back to reading this year. Biographies and supertexts only.
- work with 50 students and be the shoulder that they could stand on. Preferably MBA students. If you know someone who may need a mentor or sorts, please do point them to me.
- do a water-fast one day each week.
- run / walk 10KMs every day.
- meditate 20+ minutes each day. Want to be able to do 45 minutes everyday. YNH does 2 hours EVERY day!
- write 200,000 words this year that are available for public consumption. These would be spread across my blog, SoG, Book2, Podium etc.
I will track these goals and more importantly the progress here (a shared cloud document).
You are welcome to see and recommend changes.
You are welcome to see and recommend changes.
Each thing has a reason for being in the list.
Each is a number. So I can measure how I am doing with respect to the goal.
Most have a frequency component (for example, to be able to write 200K words in the year, I will have to write about 700 words per day on an average). This will allow me to track my progress.
I know I have conspicuously left out work here.
Not that it is not important to me - rather, I cant differentiate work from life (or home or play or whatever). Just that I am not prepared to think of tangible work goals yet. I will do so over the next few days. Before the first week is over. That will leave me with 51 weeks but its ok. One of the things that I learnt in last year was not to be harsh on myself.
Not that it is not important to me - rather, I cant differentiate work from life (or home or play or whatever). Just that I am not prepared to think of tangible work goals yet. I will do so over the next few days. Before the first week is over. That will leave me with 51 weeks but its ok. One of the things that I learnt in last year was not to be harsh on myself.
Thats about it!
Oh, if you do wish to indulge me further, pray do tell me what is that one big thing that you'd do this year. And do tell me if you need help with that. If not with specifics, I can be a great tool that reminds you to stay on course.
All the best for 2019.
Hope the year is full of love, luck and happiness.
May you live long and prosper.
Love,
Saurabh
P.S.: In case you are curious, here are similar posts from previous years: 2018, 2017, 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012.
P.P.S.: Oh, while I wrote this, I was tripping onto Faridkot's Haal E Dil. Must support more indie work. Wish there were a way to show people beyond the ones that can buy media! Maybe I'll add to my todo list.
P.P.P.S.: Cycle vs Spiral.
Cycle - a never-ending loop that does not have the beginning or the end.
But has distinct stages.
And you are merely moving between those stages without any growth.
Spiral - again, a never-ending structure with distinct stages.
But at each stage, you grow up and you are doing things at a larger scale.
You are growing.
I' rather be in a growing spiral.
P.P.P.P.S.: This is probably one of those few years where I have not included wealth (or money) in my list. Of course I want to move towards that. There IS a financial goal that I have set for myself. But I want it to be the byproduct of how I live. Journey, as they say, has to be more rewarding.
#note2self. Must do a post on how 2018 went and the big lessons I took from the year.
P.P.P.S.: Cycle vs Spiral.
Cycle - a never-ending loop that does not have the beginning or the end.
But has distinct stages.
And you are merely moving between those stages without any growth.
Spiral - again, a never-ending structure with distinct stages.
But at each stage, you grow up and you are doing things at a larger scale.
You are growing.
I' rather be in a growing spiral.
P.P.P.P.S.: This is probably one of those few years where I have not included wealth (or money) in my list. Of course I want to move towards that. There IS a financial goal that I have set for myself. But I want it to be the byproduct of how I live. Journey, as they say, has to be more rewarding.
#note2self. Must do a post on how 2018 went and the big lessons I took from the year.
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