Aug 16: The 500 word conundrum

Hello dear regular readers of my blog (aka me!),

How are you guys today? Its been long since I write to you. I have been busy writing over the last few days and for one reason or the other, I could not address you guys directly. I sincerely hope that you are doing well. I always think about you when I am praying.

You would have noticed that over the last few days, I have become really active with posting on my blog. I dont really have a specific reason but I just wanted to restart my habit of writing. All this while chasing a bigger dream of writing a full length novel some day. Would it actually materialize? Only time shall tell (assuming that by the time I get around to publishing it, people would actually be reading books. I am not sure cos of the dwindling time and attention span in the 149 character era). But anyways, I made a promise to myself that I would write at least 500 words everyday for one entire month. I did know that it would be a bit hard but I had no clue that it could drive me crazy. With all the work, meetings, travel, I thought I can take out twenty minutes easily and sit down in quiet and write something. But then I was wrong. I have missed it twice already. Its like taking the Sundays off. When I first thought about it, it seemed as easy as walking on the beach with sun playing hide and seek with clouds. But as I progressed through the month, I realized that its no simple task. It takes a lot of effort to just show up and actually start writing.

The surprising thing is that I really love writing. I know I am nowhere close to publishing quality, yet, but I do love the feeling of writing things. I love the way thoughts come to my head spontaneously. I love the way my brain cooks up connections in my memory and prompts me to type a set of words. Most of them dont really end up making any sense, but the few ones that do, they justify all the effort.

So if I love writing, why is that I missed on those two days? Not that writing feels like a job to me. I really want to write and writing is play for me. I could give a limb if someone paid me enough to write. Enough to be comfortable, drink all the coke, travel the world and play some poker. I love writing and writing actually helps. If nothing else, then at least its a nice conversation starter.

And then its not even that I dont know what to write about. I have tons of things that I want to write about. And I have more than 4 projects that I want to start. I have no clue where does all my time goes. May be its commuting across Delhi, twice, each day. Or its the nature of work I do where my time is not mine. It belongs to my office, my managers and my clients. And secret, since I get paid peanuts for it, I feel like a loser after I end most of my days. Writing post work, at least puts some sanity back in my head and I feel as if I have done something productive with my day.

Today, despite the fact that I havent done much work, seems like a day spent well. You know why? Because I am writing this piece. At 0100 hours. Just before I sleep (not really. Have to leave home at 0430 and catch a flight).

Oh, btw, does anyone wants any freelance writers?

This is day 16 in a series of 31 daily blogposts. Other posts are here.

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