The Publish Button

The Publish button

You know the funny bit about blogging? Even today, ten years since I started writing a blog, more than 1300 published posts, everytime I push the Publish button, I have my guts in my throat. I get butterflies. I get scared. I am in jitters.

What if I've made typos? What if someone ridicules it? What if an prospective employer / bride reads this and rejects me? What if this? What if that?

The Publish Button is my greatest fear. I am not scared of darkness, heights, lurking monsters in blind alleys, public speaking, approaching a member of the opposite gender, dentists, (or any of these other top ten fears of humans). But I am scared of the Publish button. Very scared.

And like all fears, once I do it, once I am over it, it transforms from fear into freedom. From scare into thrill. The fear is gone. The button is like that teleport switch that helps me hit escape velocity and go in the orbit. On one side is a lot of ridicule and the other side is pure exhilaration of having created something. Of seeing things out there. And trust me, there is no larger satisfaction than creating something. Something out of thin air. That's what writing is about. Pulling strands out of thin air and weaving them in a coherent story!

No wonder I love writing. No wonder I am addicted. To the fear of Publish button and the relief that comes when I have pressed it.