...of being a self-employed dude trying to run a services business is... that it sucks. Running a business I mean.
Thing is, the days are really long. And short at the same time. Long because you start work at 7 in the morning and end at... well, you don't end. Short because there is so much to do that at any given point in time you have 20 thing that require your attention as of yesterday. There is little room for being organised - everything is last minute, it's a constant battle between cashflow that is running out fast and the plug of hope that every phone call brings along.
Of course I chose this life. I could've taken the easy path where a cushy job would allow me the luxuries of life and a weekend where I'd have a huge bankroll and I could take off to the Macaus and Singapores of the world to live it up. But then no, the stubborn me, the anti-establishment me, the dreamer in me refused to heed. And here I am. Struggling hard to make things happen.
May be I am doing this wrong. May be I should have taken the easy way. After all, I dont really have the skills that allow me to make easy money. I haven't been blessed with looks or with a golden voice or the gift of the gab or a talent with design or writing. Or a last name that allows me to become a pastry chef or the confidence to be a food critic.
As she says, I am at best a fakir. And jugaad. And I need to use these two not-so-desirous things to get things that I want. But then it's hard to do so when you are so dependant on others for work and for delivery. When the world around you has it super easy and when you question the fairness of it all.
I know I know. Life is unfair and while most days I take it in a stride, today, I cant. I think this is one of those where I could do with a drink. But since I dont, I guess I need a hug.