The title is inspired by this book by Kundera. Do read in case you get an opportunity - its a fascinating read. The kinds that I would love to write some day. May be book 5 or 6. Dont know which one. Anyhow, coming back to the task at hand, it is NOT easy being me. There are multiple dimensions to it. But let me talk about one in particular - The way I dress up.
There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who love the way I dress. And the ones who hate the way I dress. The former is an exclusive club where I think the sum total of all members is about 1. The later, well, it unites everyone like no other religion has ever united men and women - they come together in their hatred for how I dress.
But of course I dont understand the malice. I mean, what's wrong in wearing a pair of red shorts and bright green tee? I dont know why a pair of shoes is such an important part of your attire that you cant enter an "exclusive" club without it. I still refuse to believe that I cant spend my entire life in a pair of shorts and a white cotton tee-shirt. I mean whats wrong about it? And what is this entire thing about judging people on the basis of clothes you wear? The other day the guard at my building told me that if he dint know me by face, he wont let me enter the housing complex. I mean, really? Am I my clothes? The way I dress up?
The other piece about my dressing up is that I do not spend a lot of money on clothes - I dont feel the need. I have exactly one pair of denims, 6-7 shirts and 6-7 tees. I wear the same pair of denims to work, to parties, to meetings, to market and to all such places where you expect a man to "dress us." I do not have jackets. I do have a formal pair of trousers, reserved for super special occasions like weddings of close friends etc. Last I wore it was a year back when Gandhi got married. And next time I am going to wear it is when another super close friend / relative gets married - even if its in 2020.
So, this past weak, the only pair of denims I have, it got torn. And since I cant wear a tattered pair of clothing to work (why not?), I had to buy one. And this is where the other part of difficulty of being me came up. I can NOT shop. I am ok dying, ok with public speaking, ok with a bungee jump, I am not frightened by the prospect of asking a girl out, but I cant shop. I cant goto store, try multiple options and then choose one and come back. Its a chore. Its an unnecessary evil.
The other hard part is that I cant outsource it to someone as because my body type is unique. I have short legs, big thighs and a heavy paunch. The fit thus is like piecing together a jigsaw. And there are like handful options, that many brands, that much patience. Yesterday, I did venture out to a mall and I did try 4-5 pairs. But none fit in and I could not buy. And I feel sad about it. I feel dejected. I feel so stupid that I want to take the pledge to lose weight and fit into every available skinny fit pair of denims. Or still better, ask someone to pick a pair of denims per my waist size. Yeah! That's gonna be better. Aim for a waist size and fit into every available pair of denim for that size.
Game on, Mr. Garg.
P.S.: The other difficulties of being me, lemme talk about them as and when I get time.
P.P.S.: Good to be back to writing! This is the second day on the trot and I must continue the momentum.