The War Of Words

RajniKanth and his miracles

Got this in email. And one of the few good ones.

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

I neeed a visa to all countries in the world. I want to travel. Travel far and apart. Travel rich and poor. Talk to people. Get talked to.

I neeed a FAST Internet connection. Something where I dont have to wait for 5 Youtube vids to stream.

I neeed a super bike. Ok, even an Enfield would do.

I neeed a big DSLR and a few lenses.

From Narazgi to Safola

I have this very good friend who is in US. And since we are separated by geography, only means to communicate is emails, IMs and phone calls once in while. For last few days, she has been really busy and I have been my buggy best. And this lack of conversations made me think that she was angry or something with me. Actually, come to think of it, she WAS angry. There is this conversation I had with her where she sounded angry.

Anyways this is not the point. So I have this huge list of 1000 people on gatlk. Right in the morning I think that she is angry (shes on my mind all the time :D .. are you reading?) and I update my IM status message as "Naarazgi". About 5 people ask me who is angry and similar questions.

And all of a sudden she sends an IM saying that she is not. How on the Earth does she know that I am talking about her? Anyways, so I ask her how do you know and she says "Safola". And obviously I was smiling. Actually laughing out loud. She knew is somehow and she could express her thoughts in an awesome manner. These small things make life worth living for. May sound like a small thing for a lot of people but for me, it means a lot.

Thats as good as things can get. For the ones who aren't blessed with memories of brands and taglines, Safola used a tagline "Tere Dil Ki Baat Main Jaanu". She knew that I was talking about her.

How in the world .. ?

P.S.: There was another incident on this same conversation that reaffirmed that Safola DOES exist between her and me. Refer to IM transcript on your gmail account dated 9 May 2008, 10:52 AM.

You know its Delhi when ...

After living in Delhi for 24 years, I moved to Mumbai last year. On a recent trip home (Delhi), I realized that there is so much there makes that place very special. Here is a list of 19 things that I could think of immediately.

You know you are in Delhi

When you have honed your negotiation skills over the years by never ending haggling with the autowallahs and rickshawallahs over amount as minuscule as 1 rupee.
When you know more about your neighbors rather than your own family. And you see that your neighbors remember your aunt's son-in-law's birthday.
When bus passes and Metro cards become a currency.
When community buying becomes the norm and vegetable seller takes the place of the chaupal where ladies gathers to share gossip.
When U special buses are followed by bikes. And cars.
When any one wearing a skirt is stared at by everyone. Even the person wearing the skirt starts staring himself/herself.
When autowallahs simply refuse to go by meter. And they dare you to do anything about it.
When people drive as if the road is their personal property and they can do anything they want to on those roads. And they mean it.
When you have to bribe for any small government work. And to even pee.
When everyone knows someone big and throws attitude because they know someone.
When you spot a chole kulche bicycle in every nook and corner of the city.
When hanging from DTCs buses becomes a norm and your day feels incomplete without it.
When you use a student bus pass even after you have graduated from college 5 years ago. And you are ready to go any lengths to get it renewed.
When you boast of awesome infrastructure the city has all the while screaming profanities at Sheila Dikshit and Congress govt.
When spotting a celebrity adds to your coolness factor. And you weave stories around it and repeat them at every speaking opportunity.
When you buy and sell books at Nai Sarak and hope to spot girls doing the same thing, strike a conversation and leave as a couple.
When giving seats to old women and kids in Delhi Metro becomes a fashion statement. And then curtly asking them to hold your bags, suitcases etc.
When sealing and policing takes a new meaning altogether. Shops are sealed, de-sealed and sealed again.
When there is some sort of strike, procession, movement is being staged at Jantar Mantar and you start assuming that it was build to host these rather than tell time.

Obviously the list is incomplete and I shall keep on adding to it. Please drop in comments and help me make it longer.

P.S.: I love Delhi and there is no city like Delhi. The tone might sound derogatory but trust me its not meant to be like that.

Michael Jackson + Bhangra = Coolness !

Ceat, Shoppers Stop and Godrej Rebranding stories

Three very big Indian brands have gone for a makeover. Godrej, Shopper's Stop and Ceat. Before I get into a long rhetoric on these individually, I think except Godrej, Shopper's Stop and Ceat have got it wrong.

Godrej Industries Ltd.
Godrej has added colors to it age old logo. Shoppers' Stop and Ceat have completely changed their looks. Also, Shoppers' Stop says "Change is Good" and Ceat says "Change is here". I wonder if both these have been created by same team?

Godrej the behemoth that sells everything from shoe polish to animal feed to almirahs to locks to lavish food for rich to real estate to a lot of things unimaginable has got a new look. They did not do anything drastic. They retained their logo. Added some animation, color and jazz to it. As a customer I love what they have done. For me I have grown up in house where we had tons of Godrej almirahs and locks and for me Godrej means trust. Is the new look enhancing that? No it does not but it gives me a sense that owners are trying to reinvent the old company and are committed about it. And since And are they doing it because a Godrej Properties is planning to come with its IPO?

Shoppers Stop
Coming on to Shopper's Stop, its is a chain of premium retail megastores. They sell clothes, accessories and other fancy things that riches and the great Indian middle class buys. In fact they are amongst the first players in Indian retail industry to have experimented with large format stores and organized retailing. Their earlier logo and identity was very classy by Indian standards and for the last 10 odd years that logo has been itched in the minds of the customers. It had everything a premium brand's logo should have - curves, stars, symmetry. It was very very appealing.

The new logo is anything but premium and yet is a good piece of work on a stand alone basis. But moment you compare it with older logo (and comparison is inevitable), it looks dull. It looks like someone has stepped back in time. To start with it is plain text in a font that can be used by anyone and everyone. A plain text logo could have been good if you added colors, gradients or other elements to break the clutter (hint Godrej). But that too is missing. I think they wanted more serious and elegant look for the brand and the logo has failed to deliver that. I would say this was created by an amateur designer trying random text layouts.

I have no clue what warranted the need for a change in logo. I understand that Shoppers' Stop is coming up with an IPO but did it require a change in look?

Ceat Tyres
Ceat is one of the oldest tyre manufactures in the country. Its a publicly traded company and although I have not had any interactions with their business (never purchased a ceat product), have heard a lot about them. The new logo looks like a half baked pie. Its like work in progress and first time I saw it, I could not relate it to the type manufacturer. When I read the headline, that was the time I realized that it was ceat they were talking about.

As a customer and as an observer, I like their earlier logo better. It had a meaning to it. I could see a rhino and I could conjure an image of a vehicle running on a ceat tyre negotiating hard curves. The new look might also have a road (the E looks like a road with a divider) but it fails to conjure any kind of imagery. Is there a trend in design houses to move towards plain text fonts with minimal use of colors? Or both Shoppers Stop and Ceat have been done by the same agency with a Creative Decision Maker believing that plain text is good and we should talk about change to go along with that?

Its often said an organization is as good as the decision makers it has. I dont really think design teams for both Shoppers Stop and Ceat have done their homework and tried to design a contemporary look. And they should consider the fact that people do not buy products or services. They buy and consume brands. And brand is something that makes the decision process for the consumer simpler. Not more complex by creating conflicting images in their minds.

Design, Advertising and financial markets may sound very different but there is indeed some kind of a relationship. Any more IPOs or redesigns coming up .. ?

P.S.: All the comments are not from an aesthetic point of view. I am hardly a person who has good design sense. I am talking from the perspective of a customer. I have tried to think how would a customer feel when he is interacting with a brand that is supposed to be premium.

All three companies trade on the stock exchanges and I own certain number of shares of Godrej Industries ltd. I might or might not choose to buy/sell these shares.

And I just realized that I am indeed passionate about brands and way consumers think abut brands. As a very good friend would say .. "Aha" moment of the day !

Tags: IPO, Indian Financial Markets, Godrej, Ceat, Shopper's Stop, Retail, India, Design, Logo, Re-design, Advertising, Marketing, Branding.

Basic Human Needs - An Indian Perspective

I was reading this awesome text located here about Basic Human Needs. I am trying to draw parallels between that text and people in India as I know them.

The article says that there are 9 basic human needs. These are Security, Adventure, Freedom, Exchange, Power, Expansion, Acceptance, Community, Expression.

Following are my opinions and views on these 9.

Security - Most people I know tend to have this need. In fact if I can generalize things, most Indians would have a very high security needs.

For me, Security is not that big a deal.

Adventure - Again if I could generalize, most people would want to believe that they have high adventure needs, I dont think they really do have it.

And yes, I do have high adventure needs. And yes I have all positive aspects and a few negative aspects. Wow. This is accurate.

And I should not make friends with people with high needs of security.

Freedom - Again this is one of those things where people would want to believe that they have freedom but they dont really have it. They are cooking pre-cooked food.

As for me, I DO belong to the group of people who think they are free but they arent. We shall get into more details in subsequent posts.

Exchange - Yes, most people around me have high exchange needs. From things as mundane as recipes to things as involving as gossips, people do exchange things around me. But somehow we dont really make good employees. I think its because we are most bothered about "self" than the group.

Me, I think I have high exchange needs. I express them by participating in discussions etc. Actually, come to think of it, I have high recognition need rather than exchange need.

Power - People tend to think that they have high power needs but they lack initiative. Most of Indians around me tend to wait for orders. They love passing buck.

And I am also lazy. I dont think I have power needs but as I said, I have very high recognition need.

Expansion - I did not understand this one.

Acceptance - Very much. Most of the world around me has high acceptance needs. Probably can be attributed to the way we are raised in India. Every small achievement if praised and highlighted and as we grow up, we grow used to appreciation. We need acceptance for our efforts.

I also have high acceptance needs. I think acceptance and recognition go hand in hand.

Community - People say that Japanese have strong communities, I would say Indians have stronger communities. We might not be as loyal as Japanese but yes we tend to stick to our clans. We are still divided in Baniyas, Shudras, SCs, STs etc.

I personally want to break free of these communities but knowing myself it will be a difficult task.

Expression - I think I confused this one with exchange. I think people want to express themselves in India but because of way we are brought up (keep secrets within a family, women often dont have the opportunity to speak up etc), most of us dont express. Although when we start expressing, we can be very good at it.

I love the concept of expression. In fact one of the things that I want to do in life is to express myself. I have used images, text, videos in the past and I would love to experiment with other things.

Anyone wants to share their opinions?

What kind of blogger are you?

I have been blogging for over 4 years now. I have been asked why I blog numerous times. And obviously I have give piece of mind to all those people. I have also met and interacted with a lot of fellow bloggers and I have realized that there are basically 4 kinds of bloggers.

Conscious Bloggers: People who really want to make a difference – not only in societal context but also in terms of business, way people use technology and other things. They are very focused in their approach and make sure they are attuned with the latest in their respective industries. More often than not, they end up becoming an influential voices in their respective fields.

Copy Cats: Because having a blog is cool, there are people who want to be cool and who would want to follow fads, they blog. Most of these blogs are abandoned within a short span and end up contributing to the Internet Junk. The lesser said about these people, better it is. Saves times and energy and content on Internet

Money Mongers: People who want to make money using their blogs (inspired by TechCrunch and other such blogs). They would start by posting everything and anything under the sun. They would blatantly copy things from other popular bloggers and will submit their blogs to search engines and aggregators at a feverish pace. It is very unlikely that they would ever make money with their blogs and will end up frustrating themselves. Some who are smarter, would on the course realize that blogging with an objective of making money would not work and they change course and obviously end up successful.

Confused Souls: People who don’t know why they blog but they anyways do it. The idea is not to make money or to get famous. The idea is to find an audience for their thoughts. Only gratification comes in the way of comments from their friends and other random visitors that have stumbled onto these blogs. They often have interesting things to say but due to the lack of recognition, they are lost in the noise. They are like the needles in the haystack that if identified could be put to good use.

What kind of blogger are you?

Originally posted here.

Analyze vs Act

Yesterday I was reading The Ambler Warning by Robert Ludlum and he talks about this interesting 1v1 dilemma. Act vs Analyze.

There are basically two kinds of people. People who analyze and people who act.

The ones who analyze things are in great demand. Most of managers, consultants, experts are generally the ones who analyze. They look at any situation with an analyzing mind, often use decision trees, rely on expertise and use tools to find solutions to the problems they are facing. Their motivation is to make a rational decision and they need an anchor to base their decision on. Ambiguity does not have any place in these decisions. They have created and live by terms like water-tight, rational decisions etc.

And then there is a second breed of people. People who act. They do. They are the ones who don't really understand, cant really explain and don't believe in analysis, research and other frivolities around decision-making. They claim that they just know when a thing is correct and when something is missing. They use words like gut feel, guess work, spur-of-the-moment, knew-it-all-along etc. These people are more likely to be sportsmen, entrepreneurs etc. who rather live on the edge than to wait in the conference rooms or meeting halls.

You could be someone who either acts or analyzes. There is nothing wrong on picking either. Its all about personal comfort (and breaking away from it).

Me, I have relied all my life on analysis. I think its about time I move on to action (wow a discovery... Action comes from Act).

Originally posted here.

Related list of 1v1s
- 1v1: Excellence vs Mediocrity
- 1v1: Expert vs Employee
- 1v1: Popular vs Pertinent

I ...

... want out !!!

The Nidhi Kapoor Story