5 mantras for succeeding in corporate life

After spending about five years in corporate life (ok, pseudo-corporate), here are a few things that I have learnt.

1. Save your ass. At any cost. Even if it means learning those famed talents like ass-licking, participating in political Olympics, back stabbing, water-cooler bickering et al
2. Yell first. Even before the blame games can begin. And since you have yelled first, you automatically stand correct. And it won’t hurt if you could be loud. After all you need to be heard over the entire din in the room.
3. Master the art of passing the buck. Your table should remain empty. No decision should ever be traced to you. No one should be able to question your decision and more importantly, that ability to take a decision.
4. Send emails to everyone in the world. Even your janitor. And the security guy. So that tomorrow everyone knows your version of the story. After all emails are free and people have lot of time on their hands. They do read each and every character. And since you are the one to have put things on record, and
5. Text must be bold face with red font. Bolder the better. Redder the better. Bold and red makes a deadly combination. As if it was written in the recipient’s blood.

P.S.: Wrote this when I was mindfucked because of some random comment from a client!

Two years of an affair

This day, in 2009, I set sight on her for the first time. Just about two years and it already feels like a lifetime.

To be honest, unlike most affairs, it was not the usual love at first sight. I dint even know I would fall in love! When I first set eyes on her, she was with her twins, friends and cousins. And like any man drooling over such sexy looking dames, I had a tough time deciding. At one instant I wanted her and at another, her sister. And there was a moment when I dint want anyone at all. Such are the frivolities of the male brain! Most women will vouch for it!

Anyways, so how we met is a funny incident. Neo and I were chilling out one fine evening when he asked to go with him to some mall. We were on our way and we saw these hot bodies and like all single men, we had to stop and gawk at them. Like most such incidents, we would have admired the object of affection and moved on but bugger Neo said, let’s go talk to them. I tend to ignore most of the things that Neo asks me to do but here I made an exception. I was like what the heck! And rest, as they say, rest is history.

So we went ahead and moment I saw her from up-close, I realized that I have always wanted her. Since eternity. From ever since I could remember things. Though, the decision took more than ten years of deliberation, gathering courage and wait. It took that nudge from Neo. And some chemical reactions in my brains that created that spark that made me blurt out a yes on the impulse. And boy, am I am glad that she accepted me with open arms (as if she had a choice)!

Like all relationships, we have seen our ups and downs. And when I look back, I realize that I am the one at fault. In fact, I don’t think I have given enough in the relationship. I am guilty. Of ignoring her. Of not paying enough attention. Of not being with her when she needs me.

She, on the other hand, has been a perfect companion. Better than anyone you could ask for. She has never let me down till date. Never. Whenever I have wanted to be with her, she has been around. She has seen me through all sorts of emotions. I have laughed, I have cried, I have been high, I have been sad, I have been ecstatic, I have had that heady feeling of being free, of flying in the open sky. I have planned my magnanimous schemes, I have conjured those dreams. I imagined things that I knew dint exist. I went far when I was with her. I was in control. Of myself and my destiny.

I really wish I could do more for her. I really want to age with her and stay with her for rest of my life!

Here’s the best part! Even though I don’t look at her for days but whenever I am with her, we make heads turn. People take note of us. They talk about us. I can see that feeling of envy in their eyes. I can see through people. I can see that they secretly wished they were in my place. With her.

Its been two years. Call the day her birthday or call it our anniversary. Call it whatever but she is one of my most cherished possessions. Yes, a possession. She means a lot.

Thanks Neo. For helping me make that decision. Thanks ma, pa for giving me the freedom. And last, and not the least, thank you. For being there!

Ab kya karenge?

literally translated, the title of the post reads "what next?". Been some time since I posted something on this blog. I don't know if something important has happened that warrants a post on the blog but somehow I felt like talking to someone and I realized there was no one that I could goto and speak my heart out. No no, I am not inviting tissue papers or free hugs or donations or something. I am merely stating a fact.

So the point of the post was that I felt someone, something was pulling me towards this blog. I know that the audience on my blog is next to zero. Any random visitors that somehow find their way to these posts, spends like 0.003 seconds here. No, really. I have a counter that keeps a tab. This link. So despite being the most boring place on the world wide web, why do I still maintain this? And what entices me to spend countless hours trying to post gibberish, that I know, no one is interested in reading? Wish I could peep into my brain and come up with answers.

So lets put some links here. I stumbled onto a website called wetransfer.com. They have the MOST amazing UI ever. I wish I could steal their designer for Cyntax2. Then I heard Bossa Nova and have been downloading music since. Try it. Its worth the time. And bandwidth. I did think of yet another book (that I would someday write). It would be called The Secret Society of Chronic Underachievers. Even if no one agrees to publish it, I will self-publish it. First 100 people to comment on this post, get an autographed copy ;P Then in other news, I finally saw Bangkok. Not that I was dying for it but because my visa application got rejected. Though I became the first Indian in the history of Thailand's immigration files to be denied a visa, I managed to get the visa on arrival. My other trips are here. And attached is a map. For the warm and fuzzy feeling!


And until next time, namaste!

Hotel Highway Famous

Em route to Mumbai!

Goldspot - Friday

Yet another piece about a recent piece in media that has exciting me. This time, its about an alternative rock band called Goldspot. They have amazing amazing songs. Soothing voice, thoughtful lyrics, the ones I can relate with. Here is their most famous track.



P.S.: Thanks PD

Buddha Ki Ek Aur Photo

Location: Roots, Leisure Valley

You're a Star!

Yes! You are!

Finding Designers

I have spent last few weeks trying to find some designers. For various things that I would be doing in this year. And since I cant really afford to hire designers right now, I am having a tough time.

So, I started my search within my friends circle. I sifted through my mailbox and pictures etc and I I realized that I know just two designers. When I say designers, I mean people who can think. Not mere DTP operators. So both these designers, are better than one other. And both of them are in Mumbai and are working at very senior positions with famous advertising agencies. With so much work already on their plate, it is unreal to expect them to take time out and contribute.

Next was obviously the Internet. And I started by making a post on some design groups. I send an email on Design India and Creativegarh. Got some 10 odd responses. Some looked ok. Some weren't encouraging. Anyways, the summary is that no one seems to be agreeing to my outlandish and magnanimous proposals.

Now I am out of clue. I really desperately need designers.

I am wondering where is it that I am going wrong. Is it money? Or is it tha designers want to work with other more famous designers and famous brand names only? Or is it that I am not inspiring enough? Or is it that I cant contribute enough?

I know that I am no designer but I do understand design. I know it when I see some good design. But like all other critics and armchair activists, I can only comment. I cant do (or create).

Whatever I know about advertising or the business of communication, I have learnt at CLA. Well most of it. And CLA as a company has a very solid foundation in design with Vikram leading the design team. Their design standards are very high. And since I learnt the ropes of the business there, I refuse to accept anything that can’t match CLA standards.

Anyways, coming back to design, in a subsequent post, I will talk about how I look at design and what design means to me and what I expect from my design-partners. Till then, please spread word and help!

Originally posted at SG.com/blog

My Goodluck Charm

Got this from my trip to Shanghai.

Ethos of a teeshirt company

Found this at the uniqlo store at Nanjing Square, Shanghai.