RIP Steve Jobs

No other human being has been able to inspire me as much as Steve Jobs did.

Its been two years since he's gone and I still miss him. There is not a single task that I do before asking myself, "how would Steve Jobs do it". And then I try and do it like that. Every single task. Every single time.

Ofcourse I am not as awesome as he was and I am forced to cut corner and rely on shortcuts. But he remains an inspiration and a guiding light. He is still someone that I look upto. He's still someone I seek approval from. He's still someone that I want to talk to when I am in deep shit. He's closest thing to God that I have had.

I sincerely wish I could work with him. Even if I was a minion in his army, I would have loved it. But then such is life. Like Tim Cook said, "he left this world a better place". I hope when I leave the world, I would leave it better, if not happier. Just like him.

Finally, Thank you Steve. I am nowhere close to you in terms of how I think or how I work but I would continue to strive. With you being my guiding light.

Thank you.

7 things that an event manager cant live without

This is the third post in series. Read the first two here (post 1, post 2). This series started as a rant on my previous profession. And then someone asked me to leave the rant and try and talk about other things true about the event management profession. Post 2 and this one are a result of that. This is also cross posted on Medium as a collection. 

1. Cigarettes. With or without hash. No no. Its illegal but I think I have seen some people using loaded cigarettes while they are running a show. Nothing like a cigarette to beat all the stress that piles up on your head while you are at it.

Actually, cigarettes are lot more than mere stress busters.

Cigarettes help you kill time. No one questions when you want to take a break for smoking. On the other hand, you say you want to go pee and you’d get frowns. You say you want to go eat, people would laugh at you. But no sir, when you have to go smoke, its like a national emergency and you’d be excused. And may be given a warm farewell for your smoke break.

Cigarettes are social. The entire concept of smoking and drifting towards an inevitable death is communal. You are bound by death when you smoke together. And thus more friendships are forged by sharing a 84 mm stick than by vows or promises or other such old school things. It brings strangers together. Its an ice-breaker where you dont have to struggle for a question to approach the stranger. All you need is a simple, “You’ve got a light?”

Cigarettes remove social barriers. I have seen richer than the richest and poorer than the poorest coming together to smoke. I have even seen them begging for a stick. If not for a stick, then for a matchbox. Like Bachchan said, religion divides people whereas alcohol brings them together, I reckon cigarettes bring people closer.

You may be the ugliest of frogs and you may want to date the most charming princess and you may not know how to approach the princess. No worries. Just hold a stick in your hands and ask for a light.

I know there is a beautiful love story waiting to be written that is started by innocuous sharing of a stick Someone just needs to write it. May be I would someday.

2. Red Bull. No this post is not sponsored by Red Bull. It would be nice, if it were. But unless there is a crate of Red Bull in sight, no event qualifies to be called an event. We need wings to be able to run an event. Even if you are used to the taste of Red Bull and rush that it gives you.

Thing with Red Bull is that its more psychological than anything else, in my opinion. I may not be tired, I may not need it. But like Pavlov’s dogs, moment I know that I am going to run an event, my mind, my body starts craving for a Red Bull.

Red Bull I think is more than that. Its a symbol of respect. You see there are hierarchies in the event agency. And these hierarchies are reinforced in subtle ways. Red Bull is one such method. Since its expensive, not everyone can afford one. Not everyone can claim the bill for a Red Bull. If cigarettes unite, Red Bull divides.

And, to re-iterate, no, this post is not sponsored by Red Bull. But it would be a good idea if they would.

3. Profanities. There is nothing that brings out emotions better than liberal use of profanities. “Dude, can you raise the hall lights” is not as effective as “Mother fucker! Why is the hall so dark? Is your wife fucking a monkey in there? Raise it up”. But then, this may be limited to just me.

Not just emotions. Profanities is also about urgency. If I need something done tomorrow, I would say, “please”. If I want something done now, I’d be officious and say, “Do it”. But if I want something done yesterday, I’d say, “Mofo!”. And everyone, every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Ramesh, Suresh and Pappu in Indian context) knows this.

You know, next time you are doing something stressful, try it. Create a control group. Use milder things like “please”, “can you” etc to talk to the control group. And to the subject group, use profanities. the cruder the better. As crude as a pirate may get. And then compare the results.

Btw, if you are a parent of my prospective bride or you are thinking about me in a romantic manner, I no longer work with an events company and thus I dont engage in use of these sick words.

But, if you are a prospective employer, hire me. I am dying to work again. Hopefully at an event company.

4. Alcohol. In any form, shape, size, colour, glass. Take your pick. The guy I reported into, he loved Whiskey and Red Bull. My DJ friend loves Vodka and Red Bull. My God (of events) wants cheapest whiskey made in India and just some water.

I on the other hand was content with Breezers, that too once in a while.

I have known people to consume anything and everything starting from Beer to Wine to Whiskey to Vodka.

I have seen all sorts of people, celebrities, actors, models, cricketers, dancers, singers, carpenters resorting to alcohol just before a show. Apparently it soothes their nerves.That is before the event. And when the show goes off well, they need something to celebrate. Something that simulates their calmed nerves. What do they do? Drink! And add cigarette to the concoction, we have a winner on our hands.

Trust me, the bitching sessions that happen after an event, after everyone of importance is drunk, after all the idle banter has happened, is like a gold mine. Secrets, skeletons, dead bodies come out tumbling in such sessions. Thanks to these sessions, I know which actress is sleeping her way to success, which producer is hands in glove with unions, which VP is screwing which trainee, which company is bribing which minister and how much, which dude is going to resign, which client would become more important in the next few years, why am I bald, why is the Earth round, why do people do what people do. If only I had the sense to carry a tape recorder while I was working, I would have been richer than Scrooge McDuck by now. Hell I could’ve even defected to US of A and become their informant and lived a lavish life in their witness protection program. Its actually my dream to be able to do that some day (to be able to inducted into WITSEC). Its on the top of my bucket list.

And like I said earlier as well, if you are a prospective bride, no I dont booze. And if you are a prospective employer, a Cranberry Breezer please.

5. Run Order. This is a sheet of paper that has the order of events printed on it. If you see this sheet, you’d know what you are supposed to do. If you follow this sheet, your job is reduced to that of a puppet master, with every action for every puppet written on it. Its that important!

And yet more often than not, this is what everyone ignores and this is what separates a good event manager from bad.

Apart from being able to run a smooth and flawless event, if you have the sheet of paper in your hand, you can be officious and yell on people. I mean you can anyway yell on people if you are an event manager but then the run order makes it official. Like a 2RsPeople referee can yell on a million dollar footballer, you can yell on a client, on a movie star, on an item dancer, on the hotel manager, on the audience, on everyone in that room.

But if you dont have this sheet of paper in your hand, you lose it. The right to yell on people. After all, the written word is like a thing cast in stone. Everyone can see it. And even if you disagree with it, you can NOT change it.

And once the event is over, the sheet is still useful. For starters, you can flag this sheet of paper in a client’s eye if something goes wrong and he wont get offended. You can use this to roll a joint. You can use this sheet to take clandestine notes while you are gossiping with the client. You can even use it to break ice with that unsuspecting cute woman who you may spot at a club and you know that she is the one that you have been waiting all your life for.

And so on and so forth.

Bottomline, a run order is a sacrosanct document that you better keep handy at all times. Before, during and after the event. I in fact carry an old event run order in my bag even now. You never know when I get to meet the one I have been wanting to be with.

6. Mobile Phone. Not just to make frantic phone calls while you are panicking but to play brick breaker (if its a Blackberry) or WhatsApp with that item dancer that is performing at your event (if its an iPhone). No, a real event managers do not use an Android phone. If you are an event manager and you are reading this and you use an Android phone, your will hit a glass ceiling very soon. Even if its a top-end phone by Samsung or Google. Two words. Glass. Ceiling.

This means you’d spend the rest of your life packing and unpacking boxes and fighting with customs all over the world. This means that you’d not be able to party after an event because you are supposed to work on the dismantle. This also means that the date with that item dancer that you have been dreaming of since the first time you invited her to perform, that will not happen. Unless you switch to an iPhone.

I use an iPhone and yes, I have had the pleasure of having coffee with couple of these women. On different occasions.

Like all previous things, if you are a prospective bride or a prospective employer, you know the disclaimer already.

7. Facebook! This is a surprisingly recent phenomena. I am not hoked on FB, as it is lovingly called. Yet.

But I do see people posting their pictures when at airports or with celebrities. I see people checking in at those fancy hotels where we get to work. I see people tagging each other when they are partying. I see attempts, often failed ones, to add those items dancers and celebrities as "friends". I see people posting pictures from the events that they are working on. I see them posting pictures of impressive setups and other things. I see them trying to solicit work.

So far I have failed to understand the reasons and benefits of all these things. Of course its a marketing tool. But if I am marketing myself, do I also want to show that picture that I clicked at PatPong where I am mobbed by ten strippers entertainers? Do I want to feel miserable about all the cars that a young singer is buying. And when I compare those cars to my ten year old Santro, at least I get severe bouts of depression. And this is just the car. There is so much more to get depressed about on Facebook. Better stay away. No?

But then, thats me. A bald, old, ex-event manager. The younger flock, they flock the Facebook as if their lives depend on it. I have seen people using it while they are running a show, while they are partying, white they are on the potty, while they are eating, while they are walking, while they are sleeping, while they are working and while they are spending time on Facebook. Inception anyone? Facebook inside facebook! Wow that's an app idea!

Anyway, while we are talking about FB, here is a small advert. Begin Advert. I do use facebook and I made a page for the book that I am writing - The Nidhi Kapoor Story. I have close to 100 likes on that page and I would love it if I could get some more. Please help. Please like. I promise that I'd do something special for the first 500 people that like the page. The numbers are going up real fast. And you still have a chance. Go there and like! End Advert.

Guess this is it for the time being. What about you? Are you an event manager? Do you agree to these seven? What can you not live without?

And while you are at it, you may want to read the entire collection on Medium!

The pursuit of frivolous things. And #no!

So today, on this blog, personal blog, Id talk about a friend. A really good friend. Without getting into specifics, lets call him SS. Damn! another friend that has a name that starts with S! So this SS is an awesome guy. As good as a guy could get. Better than me. Really. He has everything going for him. Except that he cant seem to find his way in this big wild world. Pretty much like me. Lost. If I had any more hair, I would be him. Or even if I had more money, I'd be him. But then he's got a job and a girl as well. So that makes him three times better than me. Or may be 333 times. Who knows.

So the point is, that this guy is on a mission. Arent we all? The mission to make a dent. Where have I heard the dent word? And unlike me, he knows what his dents gonna be like. And I know what it is. And its pretty awesome. But then like VK says, everyone has some or the other shit happening all the time. And this guy is no different. He has his own set of demons that he needs to fight. Who doesnt? But then unlike me and others, SS knows those demons. He can see those in the face. How I wish I could see mine.

And here is the fuck up. Despite knowing his demons, he refuses to do anything about em. I can see my reflection in him. We could be twins if at all. He excels are procrastination and is lazy beyond comparison. He has a tough time saying no. He cant prioritize. He knows what he is supposed to work on but often that takes the back seat. No, no I am not talking about myself here. I am far worse. I dont even know what I am supposed to work on. 

Fuck up is that I think it would be a great loss to mankind if he continues to waste his time in pursuit of frivolous things and misses the important ones that he ought to work on. But then, who am I to decide what is important and what is frivolous for him? Damn the dude has left me confused. As confused as sgMS makes me.

Anyway to end this, SS, dude! You need to learn. And if not from the books, if not from movies, if not from other people, at least learn from your mistakes. No?

Start saying #no!

At least start saying no? Its your life. You came by yourself and you'd alone. There's be noone to give you company. If there is just one thing that I can make you do, it would be to give the gift of the ability to start saying no. Here, use the hashtag. #no.

Ok?

On self doubt. And a promise.

That feeling when self doubt creeps in so slowly on you that you dont realise. And then when you see it, you're shocked about it being there
— Saurabh / SG (@saurabh) September 28, 2013

The other day, I was reading Bloodline by Sidney Sheldon. Its one of his classic works where you have intrigue, mystery, debauchery, murders, backstabbing and other such things. While I was reading it, I could immediately compare it to The Nidhi Kapoor Story. I dont know if the comparison is valid, Sidney being a master storyteller and I, a rookie. But after I read it, I knew that its not going to be as easy.

I thought telling stories (captivating stories, stories that make people want to read again and again, stories that people would want to share, stories that are real, stories that people can relate, stories that people want to go back to, stories that people do not want to end et al) would be easy. I thought I'd just need a pen and a chair. And a few months. After all I have been writing a blog for almost ten years now. And what if I am not comfortable with English. What if I suck at vocabulary and grammar. What if I often leave things incomplete. I could do this one. I just needed time. How hard could it be? Right?

No.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I started working on Nidhi Kapoor around May of this year. And by July I was convinced that it is a story that I want to tell. And I took the plunge. And its been two months now that I have been at it. And the progress is painstakingly slow. So slow that one monkey on one typewriter could do a faster, and may be a better, job. If the infinite monkeys got together, they'd make a mockery out of me.

Reading Sidney's book was like a shock. The one that I needed and yet did not want. That writing is not going to be easy.

I now have a new found respect for the likes of Chetan Bhagat. I may flog them for writing boring cliched stories with fancy titles. But they have been able to finish what they started and they backed it up with all their might. I am sure that when they started writing, at some point, they would have been in the same space as I am right now. But they overcome the insecurity to actually finish what they had started. They defined the odds. Quitting is so easy. So easy, its a wonder how so many people actually finish. Even if the finishers are less than 0.001% of the ones that start. sgMS A dear friend calls it closure. And I suck at it.

Self doubt and lack at achieving closure. Brilliant combination. The perfect recipe for failure. Odds are that I would fail with Nidhi. That I would not reach closure.

But I will not.

I. Will. Not. Fail. 

I may not get to publish it. But I will finish it. And I would do a damn good job at it. And I would ensure that whoever reads it, its worth their time. Thats the greatest responsibility that I have as a writer. That the reader, her time or money is not wasted when they read what I've written. And I promise that your time or money would not be wasted while you read Nidhi's story.

I know that my story is not even a fraction of what a Bloodline is. And mind you, Bloodline is great but its not even the greatest piece of fiction that I know of. There's Godfather, there's Count of Monte Cristo. There's a long list.

But what I know is that I have made a promise. And for a change, I am going to keep it. Despite all odds, I'd finish the story.

The good part of this self doubt bit is that all the doubts are creeping in at a stage where I can still work on it. All the lessons are happening at a time where I can still patch the logical and narrative flaws. After all, I am at the 30000 word mark. Far from the 120K that I have planned before I send this to publishers. There's still time for the Nov. 11 deadline that I have kept for finishing the first draft. Some 40 days. A little discipline and a little grit should see me there.

Just need a little bit of push. A small nudge. An angel to watch me over. A boss that I can report into. Probably I need a Nidhi Kapoor or a Renu Sharma to actually come to life and help me work on this. That would be so cool. No?

On Writing

The Thinker! 

Writing is the toughest job that I've ever had. And I've had some tough jobs before this. Thing with writing it that you are alone when you are working. Of course you have your support system and friends and other such people around you but when you put pen to paper, you are alone. You are the only one who can move the story forward. You are the one that decides on the next turn the that story would take. If even its a simple one act story, which in my opinion is tougher to write, you need to do it by yourself. You are the planner, you are the designer, you are the expert, you are the executioner and you are the manager. 

Writing is one those things that are probably as close to meditation as they can be. You could sit in a room full of writers, you could talk to them about your plot, you can pick their brains. You do whatever but you would have to put the damn thing on paper by yourself. And I am learning that I suck at it. 

The first problem for me was to be able to sit at one place for some time and work without getting distracted. I have got that figured out thankfully. I mean I am still working on it but its a start for sure. I move around and all that but I do not have an active Internet connection and the phone is on silent mode to keep out distractions.

The next is to be able to write fast. I mean today it took me about 8 hours to write 3000 words. And not a new story. I had the plot in place. I just had to add a few words and complete the narratives. And it took me 8 hours. At this pace, the three projects that I am working on, I dont think I'd be able to get those done. And all those three are really important to me. I can not compromise on any. And all three come with strict deadlines. One ends in 30 days from now, on the 23rd October. And the other two, mid November. So I better learn how to write fast. 

And mind you, thats the simple bit. The putting it down on paper bit and the speed with which I write bit. The other things that I need to do to be able to be a good writer, are the tougher ones. Here is a small list. 

• A. The non stop rounds of editing where you have to kill what you wrote, even if you are fond of it. Even if you loved it
• B. Then there is shameless promotion of what you write. I suck at this totally. I dont even put these on facebook. Why is it important? Because every reader is an opportunity for you me to improve your my craft. 
• C. The dwindling bank balance. Its not directly related to writing but its an occupational hazard for me. For a lot of people, writing comes naturally to them and they can write in the evenings, on the weekends. I, on the other hand, have to struggle for every word that I write. And hence the joblessness. 
• D. The infinite homework required, just to keep up. This includes learning words like Moxie, Shibboleth and Chagal. Of course unless I use these words in what I write, there is no point. So far, I havent been able to figure out where would I want to use Chagal, unless I am writing about a sub-Saharan adventure. This also includes reading a lot. I dont mind the reading bit though. Just that I am getting used to reading on a computer. I thought I could use a device but nothing like holding an actual book. And nothing like the convenience of an entire computer (not just a tablet or a ebook reader).
  

Bottom line, its a tough job and I am totally sucking at it. There is no assurance of money / fame / future prospects at the end of it. When I took it up, I did not know that it would be tougher than a full time job. I mean agreed that I have the flexibility to choose my time and I can sleep during the day and I dont have to struggle through traffic for hours but its a tough tough job.

And I am just ranting here. And to the rant, if you are a struggling writer as well, you may want to do these following things.

1. Subscribe to a word a day. There is nothing like an extensive vocabulary. And since I still think in Hindi and translate it to English when I write, my writing it limited. I use wordsmith.org. You may choose whatever you like. I am sure there are quite a few of these.
2. Read about writing. You must read a lot anyway but read about writing. Almost all the great writers have written about their art/craft. Right now, I am reading Chuck Palahniuk's essays and Stephan King's On Writing. 

That's it for the time being. Oh, I have set up a mailing list where I would send periodic updates on how the book is coming along. If you are interested, you may subscribe to it. I promise not to spam you. Just leave your details in the form below.

Subscribe to updates on the Nidhi Kapoor Story

Introducing Shorties 2013!

Hemingway's 6 word short story.

Time for a new project. I call it Shorties. And I need your help. You, the unknown 120 people who come to my blog everyday. You the 127 friends I have on Facebook. You, the 2000+ people (and bots) that follow me on twitter. You, the 5 people on the favorite's list of my iPhone. You, #sgMS, the reason or my existence and being. And finally, you, the curious onlooker reader. I need your help. All of your's.

What is the idea?
In one line, starting tomorrow (20th Sep) I would write and publish one short story (less than 5000 words) everyday, for next 100 days. For each story, I want you, all of you, to help me with ideas, plots etc.

How can you help?
Send me a story idea, a keyword, some characters, a plot, interesting links, oddities and anything else that can be converted into a short story. And I would write a story inspired by what you send in.

I'd select a story idea at 9 every morning and write a story by 8 the next day.

The first week, I'd do stories on plots that I have been wanting to write for some time. After that, I'd hopefully get you guys excited enough, to send in your ideas, plots etc.

The fine print. Why am I doing this? The future? Etc.
You may know that I am trying to write my first full length fiction (a book, about 80000 words). And the process of writing is making me aware of my shortcomings. As a writer. And as a human being.

To be able to write the book well, I need training and practice. Time and again, people have said that if you want to improve your writing, only thing you could do, is to write more. And hence the Shorties. Shorties would make me write fiction everyday and would hopefully make me a better writer. Good enough to be able to write something that publishers in India would want to publish.

That (getting better at writing) is one. The other bit is the dire need of discipline. I have realized that when I have someone to report into, I get my act together and work better. With Shorties, more than one boss, one man, I have you, all of you, to report into.

So these are the two reasons. I know that a lot of what I write, will be crap (for want of a better, milder word). But I would write something everyday. I would ship. And if I do it for next 100 days, at least one of the 100 stories would be good enough to get published in a magazine of repute or something. No? If not that, I am hoping that I'd see some tangible result in the way I write!

Thats it. Wait for tomorrow morning. For the first of 100 Shorties.

The Charging Cable Conundrum

If you read this blog regularly, you may know that I use an iPhone 5. In my opinion it is the best phone available in market. I know its debatable but we'd get into it later.

The thing with iPhone 5 is that it comes with a different charger, as compared to all other previous iPod and iPhone family devices. Apple calls it lightning charger. Its a great charger. Takes less space, charges fast and is as small as a charger can get without affecting functionality. But then since its so unique, its so hard to find. I mean most people I know has either an older iPhone or a phone that uses a miniUSB charging input. So if I am in a room, the probability is almost zero, of finding someone with a charging cable for my phone. Let me park this here for a bit.

Next up on the rant is legendary requirements of smart phones for constant charging. And when they are on 3G, this requirement goes up by tons. And something in me refuses to use the iPhone on EDGE or GPRS. I mean whats the use of a smart phone if you cant use the awesomeness that data connectivity allow you to indulge in. And an iPhone 5 is a sucker for battery juice. Really, literally and otherwise. The battery drains out in less than 4 hours for me. And all this when I use it moderately. Blame it on million applications that are running on my phone or constant use of twitter feed or whatever, the battery dies so soon that I am left wondering, if there was any battery at all in the first place. Ok, hyberbole but I'd park this as well.

Third thing is my legendary carelessness. Funny thing is that till three months back, I wasnt. Am I getting into the artist zone? I dont know. Its a post for another day. But now that you know that the charging cable for an iPhone 5 is so important, can you believe that I lost misplaced my cable? I have lost larger and more important things - my wallet, my driving license, my credit cards etc. But iPhone 5 cable! For God's sake I can not move around without a phone. People dont call me that often since that July evening but I still need a phone. I love the concept of being connected all the time. If for nothing else, but for Google Maps and Twitter (follow me on @altSG and @saurabh). And since I cant charge the phone without a cable that I lost, I am left in a conundrum. What conundrum? Hang on for a minute.

Fourth thing is legendary money making prowess of Apple. The charging unit is patented and that means that a company of repute will have to license the design from Apple to make their chargers. And that means that their accessories would be more expensive than Apple's. This to me was counter intuitive. I thought Apple made the most expensive accessories and here I am looking at units from Griffin, Capdase that are more expensive than Apple! There are a few fly by night operators as well, that sell these accessories for a fraction of money but then they are fly by night. What do you expect from them. Id come back to those guys.

So after these 4 back stories, after I lost my cable, the jobless me decided to save some money and buy a cable from those fly by night operators. The cable was priced at 499, compared to Apple's 1460 and Griffin's 1799. I saved about 1000 bucks at the drop of the hat. The cable worked well for a week and then it stopped working. I bought yet another cheap one for 179. It worked for exactly 5 days. Then I bought one for 250. It worked for a month. And then I bought one for 499 again. It worked for, a week. And then finally I was on the road whole of yesterday and I missed an amazing opportunity to meet colleagues and friends from my previous job, because my phone did not have battery and I did not have a cable. I decided its time to take matters in my hand. And that my dear friends is the conundrum I am talking about.

I could chose to buy the cheaper cable, at the rate of one every fortnight. Or I could buy the expensive one and be in peace for a year at least (apparently the official Apple cable comes with a one year replacement warranty). Of course this time,  I bought the official Apple cable for 1460.

And I am cringing since then for the insane amount of money that I have spent because of my carelessness. Damn me. Side note, you have to see the packaging of this official cable. Its so beautifully done that it almost bought tears to my eyes. Thing as insignificant as a charging cable has been packed with so much love and so much care that I dont really feel bad about paying them all this extra money. 

But you know unlike popular belief, iPhone 5 users are NOT rich. They could be jobless as well you know. I do love the iPhone 5 and I would recommend it any day to anyone. I love using it. I love owning it. I love everything about it. Just that, I wish the accessories were cheaper. Or may be I wish I could make some accessories and sell em to people at these inflated prices!

And for you, the reader, next time you want to buy me something, you know what to buy. No? #facepalm!

P.S.: If the title of this post sounds familiar, you, my friend, are addicted to Big Bang Theory. As Sheldon would have said, "O, I am amazed at how the great mind works, in its own subtle ways!"

Now hiring. A manager to manage me.

Hotlinked from here.

I havent written for well over a week now.

Not that I did not have things to write about. There are some 112 drafts on my blogger console. My evernote account is overflowing with blogpost ideas. There is the 7 things project. Of course there is Nidhi Kapoor. And there's no writer's block to stifle my creativity. I am just being lazy. I am procrastinating for no reason. Nothing else. I know that our time is limited and there is so much to do. And yet I am lazy. Like Neo says, "laziness pays now, hard work later", I am trapped in the lure of instant gratification.

Come to think of it, I left my job to write. And I havent wrote for half the days since I quit. I should be ashamed of myself. I am.

I think its only about discipline. I know I want to be the master of my time. I tried working in that direction. And I failed. But I did not know that it would be so tough to learn this art of mastering time. I just cant seem to prioritize my time. I still want to do everything and I want to do all those things now. And come to think of it, I am a grown man old man. And an old bipolar man suffering from ADHD.

Anyway, whats done is done. I will try and make writing my priority. If I have meetings lined up, I will wake up early. If I am travelling, I will make time to write. Even if I am not feeling like it, I will force myself to spurt out 2500 words a day. A steep target but I will try and get it. I need a visual dashboard to be able to measure my progress on. There has to be some app for it.

The app reminds me, I want to hire someone to manage me. Yes, someone who I can report into. I tried doing that last year but could not find someone stern enough to make me work. I want to try it again.

The idea of having a boss is that there is constant pressure and motivation from someone else. There is someone to keep a track of what I am doing and what I am not. Frees up time to get things done. And no, I am not talking randomly here. I have learnt that I work better when I have deadlines and bosses to report into. I work better when a stick is egging me all the time. Carrots dont work for me. Anyone wants to volunteer? I am serious about this. Can discuss terms et al in strict confidence.

Wipeout!

Wipeout. 

Thats the word that comes to my head, to explain the kind of day I've had today. Woke up at 8, ate, slept. Woke up again at 10, ate and slept again. Woke up at 6 and now I am writing this. I am clocking more sleep that ever these days. 15 hours on an average. 

Come to think of it, not just today but last few days, have been like this. 

Is it because I have just too much inaction in my life right now? Or something's wrong with weather? Any other plausible explanations? Why am I lethargic these days? What's wrong with me? Any medical professionals on my TL?

Balam Pichkari

It was that kind of the day. The day when you were unwell and you did not know what to do to cheer you up. The day when you've tried looking at pictures from good old times when you dint give a fuck to days like today. The day when talking to your special someone actually makes the day tougher than what it has been. 

And then somehow from somewhere you hear faint traces of a song playing. A song that you know you've heard somewhere. Was it at a Rahul Vaidya show at your last event? Or was it playing on FM? You know that song is the answer to every tough question that the day has asked you. What song was it? Oh yes, unbelievably, its Balam Pichkari!



Not kidding. Put on the headphones and hear it. And see all your sorrows just leave your skin. And see yourself dancing to it like no one's watching. And you dance like mad, so mad that even you yourself cant imagine yourself to have that kind of energy.

That!