The Marketing Madness

Dibert on Marketing

I have been up since 4. No kidding. I have data from Moves (which I love btw) to support the claim. I slept at around 10 yesterday and after whatever little fitful sleep I managed, I finally got up at 4.

Since then, I've walked for 30 mins, did 30 crunches (despite my hernia) and had a green tea (which makes me sick in the gut but people say it's supposed to help). And I made a poster for my upcoming book. And I sent out emails to 20 strangers, literally begging them to cover my book in their publications, send mails to random people asking them to share the book with others and so on and so forth. You get the drift.

That's how my day looks like these days. That's what I do these days. And I am a teetotaler. That makes alcohol out of bounds. Guessing, of course is what I do. The entire day!

So whatever morsels of time I can save during the day, I try and think who all could I be contacting about the promotion of the book. I then add those names to a list. And at the end of day, or early next day I send out emails, starting from the bottom of the list. Remember that FIFO principle?

And no points for guessing the response rate - which (or that?) remains dismally close to zero.

But...

but...

but... I understand this is all a tiny part of hustle. In a positive way. I am learning a lot of new things. The chief one being that it's ok to let the world judge you. All this while, in my entire life, I have not subjected myself to other people's opinions. Even then, if there were any opinions, I took them on the face value and ignored them. This time around I think I'd be affected. I know, I know. First book is just testing waters. It's not a big deal if people don't like. And other things like that.

I have these endless conversation with myself. Damn!

The other side, the flip side of the entire thing is that I literally get no time to do things that I want to do. This todo list includes poker, learning a new hobby, taking it easy, meeting people, more writing, travel. The list goes on. I have come to accept that I am a lost soul and I shall remain one. I just need to maximize my time. This marketing madness is not helping matters. Only thing I get to do these days, is talk about my book for a couple of hours every morning. And thats' about it!

And it sucks. S U C K S. Yeah, loud.

I am a fucking artist writer. And I am supposed to work on writing. On the craft. Not on the ancillary things like marketing. I know it's an important part of the craft. But these days, it has become the only part. Ant that's where my problem is! I wonder how to other writers manage this bit. May be they have money and they have large departments to churn out ideas for them? May be they don't need marketing. I mean if Stephan King came out with a book tomorrow, he'd just have to drop a tweet and rest shall take care of itself. Look at Chetan Bhagat. He could book a front-page ad in the most widely circulated daily of the country! How do they manage? How do other authors manage?

I have no fucking clue. And I hate wasting my limited time like this. I hate doing non-productive work. Hell, in my time I could choose to sleep but that's my decision. And I am not answerable to anyone. This marketing shit... damn. Oh, and come to think of it, I am a marketeer by training and profession. Irony!

Anyhow, in the entire episode, there are a couple of silver-linings to be happy about. A, the folks at Catapooolt have been a pleasure to work with. I can totally see myself recommending them to others. And B, I have made so many new friends. While the world at large remains hostile and friends (and acquaintances continued to desert me), I have been pleasantly surprised by the kindness that a few strangers have shown towards me. More about them in some other post, on a day when I am not feeling rotten about how I am spending my life.

Till then...

Wait a minute. Did you like the FB page yet? Did you buy the book yet? Did you tell your friends about it yet?

P.S.: That's crib # 2 in as many days. Note to self. Watch out!

The Impending Monday

So this is what it feels like.

When tiny chores get piled up for the last two days of the week. When despite two clear days, you can't seem to get even one chore done. When the two clear days blur and the Friday evening merges into the Saturday morning that in turns creeps into the Sunday; all without you realizing that it has happened. When before you know, the weekend is over. When the gloominess of the impending work week that you'd have to spend trapped in office sets in. When you miss your days as a free bird where you were the master of your time and the concept of work week was alien to you. When you start craving for that time as the free bird to come back; even if it meant financial insecurity. When the financial security starts feeling like a chain around your ankles and life looks boring. When you start questioning the meaning of life. When you watch Steve Jobs talk about life again and again. And when Steve says the think about looking into the mirror, you think of the ticking time bomb. When you look for reasons to clock in mandatory nine hours and try to diffuse that time bomb; even if none of those nine was spent on any actual work. When by the first hour itself, you start comparing yourself to other rats in the race. When the futility of it all hits you in the face and you cant comprehend why are the other rats so oblivious to misery of a financially secure life. When you forget the futility bit because the fancy paycheck that you get allows you to go to fancy restaurants and afford things that you never could. When you do buy those things, it dawns on you that you have no time to enjoy those things because you don't have the time. When you suddenly have to go sleep by 9 on Sunday night because you dont want to be late to work the next day. Oh when you dread things like getting in late. When the little question from the poor administrative office feels like a nag from an old, sore wife. When the entire experience feels like dragging a dead relationship because you don't want to let go; hell, you can't let go. When the entire thing makes you depressed about it. When the fogs of depression dont let you see a way out. And when the fog lifts, you realize that life's reduced to staring at the clock, hoping it would go faster; but the torturous clock actually ticks slower than it ought to and no one can help. When you suddenly think that may be, just may be, if you believed in God, may be He would have have helped the clock go faster. When you realize that others that believe in God are faring no better. When you see those God-fearing zombies all around you, happily walking into the doors of slavery. When you can't understand what makes the other slaves tick and so excited about the mundane days ahead for the rest of their lives. When the gloom of the predictable eventually sets in. When you get used to it. When you become a part of the crowd rather than screaming. When, when, those jokes, those stories, those anecdotes, those cartoons about perils of Monday mornings start to make sense. When you are.. you are...

Thoughts on book industry in India

Now that I am a stakeholder in the publishing industry in India and over the next few years I hope to become a significant one, I am going to start talking about things I've learnt while I was working on #tnks (wow that was a long sentence).

I plan to post my thoughts in a series of posts. And I am calling this series as Business of Books. So before I start getting into any serious discussion or prose, here are a few things that I would talk about over the next few weeks, months. If there is something specific that you want me to talk about, please do let me know.

No, I am not an expert. I am a mere curious observer standing on the sidelines of this amazing business.

• Print vs Electronic. The non-stop battle between printed and ebooks. Which is better. Why? What is the alternative?
• The monies. What do the publishers make, what do authors make? Who else makes money. Of course a lot of guesstimating will be involved.
• Marketing. Of course. I am after-all a marketeer by training. The jury is still out on my "expert" level though.
• Managing egos. Of other writers, publishers, retailers, distributors. Even readers have egos!
• The mafia. No no, not the Italian Sicilian one. But the mafia in the books industry. Yes, there is. Trust me. I've had an encounter already. Thankfully it was not dirty.
• Support groups. I am lucky to have folks at Wrimo India as a huge support group. Without them, a lot of my work would have suffered. Why is important to have a group? What to do if you don't have one.
• First-time authors. This one is probably where I'd spend a lot of time. After all, I am an outsider and it took considerable time, effort, hustle and luck to get the book done. Publishing for me was surprisingly easy. More on this as we go along.

That's all I can think of for the time being. I am hoping to do one post per week. Let's see if I can stick to the schedule. No promises though. 

Oh, I just need to figure out how would onWriting.in co-exist with this. I don't have answers for the time being. Let's see when they dawn. In the meanwhile, hope you've ordered the book!

Originally published on tnks blog.

"You think and do, whereas I do and think"

SRK. Source: Unknown.

The other day, on the 2nd, it was SRK's birthday. And I am sure that if you know me well, you know how much a love the man (or the popular perception he's got).

So on his birthday, I was reading one of his interviews from 2014 and when Rajeev Masand asked him about his relationship with Aamir Khan, SRK said [he said to Aamir Khan],

"You think and do, whereas I do and think," 

I read the line and I was like, wow!

In this one line, he put to rest all speculation, all doubt that I had about SRK's ability to choose what he does. I can now ignore, forgive, forget all his mistakes. I mean the man simply acts. Agreed he thinks a lot and he's created a perception about things but he simply does. For him, action takes precedence over foreplay. Karma wins over buddhi vilas.

So, coming to myself (after all the blog is supposed to be about me), I think I do the same thing. I act. Often impulsively (or may be I act on gut and intuition. whatever but I act) and then I think about what I've done. As a result, I often make mistakes but who cares. Every mistake makes me richer. It strengthens my gut, my intuition muscle, creates a rich library of incidents that I can refer to. After all, I am in this for the long haul!

Not a bad epiphany to happen first thing in the morning!

Thank you SRK for helping me with the epiphany. And oh, belated Happy Birthday!

The Paycheck Puzzle

Rat Race. Source: Unknown. Found here.

In my entire life, since I started working, I have never had to wait for a paycheck. I have been lucky like that. Not that I had things in abundance but I did have enough to not worry about that one tranche of payment at the end of the month. May be because I got a head start (I do not contribute anything to my home) and I've largely been prudent. 

In fact, I want to claim that everytime I have needed money, I've somehow got it from some unexpected source. No, I don't win lotteries or get estates from old uncles but I do get some unexpected work (freelance). Or some deferred payments comes through or some refunds happen. Somehow, something has happened and I've got money.

But lately I am having issues. First a freelance job that gave me a regular trickle of money every month, I was fired from it. Second I made some unnecessary expenses at the behest of some friends; the expense was totally unjustified and sad part is that I can't get a refund on it and I will have to live with it. Finally, I did not plan things well. I kept delaying things, hoping that they'd fall in place by themselves. They did not and I am thus reeling under the pressure. 

All these, things, have made me a slave to paycheck that is supposed to come at the end of every month. I started a new naukri and it's been a month. Well almost. The paycheck is due and I am waiting for it desperately. It's actually the 5th day of the month already and money is nowhere in sight. However, the overdraft on my credit card is staring in my face. Oh, I am behind on the rent. And I could do with some new clothes. The phone needs to be replaced and the computer that I loaned from sis is almost broken. The list just goes on. I will not bore with details but the matter of fact is, I need money. Side note. I think I also need a year off.

I have no clue how the rest of the world lives their life waiting for a paycheck. Total respect AND pity towards the ones who do. My folks did the same and most people around me do it. And no one seems bothered about it. I have no clue how they do it. The damn rat race is so evident and I am now a part of it. Existential crisis is so not happening. That too, first thing in the morning! 

On an average, during the day, I think that I can change the world. I really mean it. I really think that I can add a lot of "value" to whatever I do. I believe I am gifted like that. I have no shame in saying so. Neither am I proud about it. I just know that I've been given a gift and I am not using it. And I am stuck in this mindless chase to nowhere. If I were any less, I would've accepted things and would have done haalat se samjhauta. But I can't. I know I can do lot more. I don't know when or how though. Any help anyone?

While I finished posting this, I am still refreshing my bank account page every thirty seconds. Hoping for a miracle that somehow some money would land in the account and I would ward off the creditors for a bit, before they are back, next month. And the month after that. While I am still waiting for my paycheck to happen!  

Oh, and just yesterday I met someone who told me that great men like Anurag Kashyap and others had to sleep on the kitchen floor for years. And for every great man who's made it big, there are a million others that die an anonymous death. Can I take hope from their lives? I don't even know what I am rambling. 

More later! 

P.S.: These days I think a lot about money and life and other things. Don't know what's up!

P.P.S.: Things aren't that bad to be honest. Most of my issues are first world problems really. Some other such problems are here. 

The first ten copies of #tnks

The first ten copies of #tnks are here at the publisher's office. I would get mine in a day or two. My copies. The ones I own. The ones that the publishing contract said I would get for free.

I can't wait to see em. Can't wait for that damn courier to arrive. I just hope that paper is nice, cover is thick enough and it feels like a real book when I hold it in my hand.

How do I feel? A million bucks. Damn right! A million bucks! After all the book was on my bucket list forever!

So, after the euphoria, now that the book is here, I need to do two things.

a. move on. Last two months sixteen or so months, I have done nothing but talk about the book. I need to let fate take it's own course. I need to let go. I have been having sleepless nights over it (the response, the sales, the feedback etc) but I need to let go. I need to stop worrying. I need to get #tnks out of my system. It's done and it's out there. I need to move on. That doesn't mean I'd stop the hustle. But that means that I would mentally move on. Irrespective of how book does or how many copies do I sell, I need to move on to the next one. I call it Book 2 and I am fairly certain of the style that I want to write it in. And yes, it is slightly different from #tnks.

b. housekeeping. I need to do some bit of housekeeping. For starters, I need to give the first copy to Rana Sir. After all, he paid advance for his copy way back in Oct of last year. Then I need to hand over a copy to #sgMS. Of course I have ordered one for her already that would reach her home once the book is on the bookstores, but I ought to give it to her by hand. And then, I will give a copy to few friends, including my sis and Neo. And I would keep a few copies on me all the time. So that next time I goto a bookstore, next time I meet someone who loves books, I could flip the copy out and show it to them!

That's it!

In case you want to buy, you know what to do. Head over to Amazon and Flipkart.

Epicness!

So if you know me, you would know that all my life I have been scared of kids. Not scared actually. But there is some other emotion at play that I can't pinpoint. I can not, just can not be in the same room as kids. I hate them. Detest them. Don't want to be anywhere close to them. Please dont blow these words out of proportion. I merely mean that I, Saurabh Garg, am not fond of kids. And I have no problem with other kids. I mostly leave them alone. I just don't like them around me. May be I would when I am old and won't have anyone else to call of my own. Whatever.

But yesterday night, something epic happened. Epic as in E P I C. I took a 3-month old baby in my arms. Let me call her babyNeo for ease of reference. Ok, so babyNeo may not be 3-months, she's something like 6-months. But she still is a big orange ball of flesh. She kept clawing at my face and my arms and it was the most brilliant feeling. Almost up there with time spent with sgMS. That brilliant. Yeah man!

No, I am not excited about holding her again. It was that one off thing. Like those things that you do just once in life? Party in Vegas, Bungee jump, road trip across America and so on and so forth.

But yes, it was EPIC and it had to come on the blog. Even though I am swarmed with work and thoughts about life and things. More soon. Over and out.

Untitled. Oct 30, 2014.

I don't even know when was the last time I posted on this blog (edit note: On 6th Oct). Since the book went live on Amazon and Flipkart, I have spent all my time talking about it, to everyone that I meet. So much so that if you wake me up at the middle of the night, I would rattle that TNKS is the story of one Nidhi Kapoor who happens to be a famous actress...

Most of these people-many are meeting me for the first time-look at me with pity. They are like, "Here's another misguided soul who thinks that writing could feed his expensive lifestyle." Some obviously are kind. Take GK for example. He is the first contributor to my campaign to try and raise money for the book. Thanks GK.

To top the misery of marketing hustle (to get the book known by as many people as possible), I just started a new job. It's been a month and with the Diwali leave and other small leaves, I have spent very few days in office. And, trust me, all those days were so full with work that I did not have time to even die. Writing, reading, meeting people, traveling, thinking, poker and everything else's now been reduced to things that are meant to be done on weekends. I am now part of the rat race. I am now trapped in that inevitable month-on-month paycheck cycle. A life that I detested all my life. Irony. Guess when they said "never say never," they said it from experience. It's like someone's clipped the wings of a grasshopper. Or a bird. Take your pick. So, yesterday, the monotony of warming one chair with my fat butt got better of me and I left office before the time I was scheduled to leave. Of course I would be reprimanded by HR for it. But what the heck. I am not a slave. I love what the company does but my freedom is more important to me. I left early, came home and fell face first on my hard bed. And no, it did not hurt. It actually felt nice for a change.

It was 7 I think when I forced myself to doze off. The sleep was fitful and I woke multiple times at night. Each time I checked my phone, hoping that #sgMS would have reconciled things and would have asked me to come back. No, she did not send any message. She'd never do something like that. Her pride is far too big for it. I did dream of her though. She and I were on some train journey. Very unlike because I detest long train journeys but I am not complaining. It was a dark night and train was passing over a never-ending bridge, erected on top of some ocean somewhere in Europe. Apart from that faint sliver of moon at some distance, it was a pitch black night. I flipped out my phone to take a selfie, both of us bathed in moon light. But I am klutzy when it comes to camera. So she snatched my phone and extended her smallish arms and took a picture. While she clicked, she squeezed in close to me. I could breathe in her perfume, see that tinge of white hiding behind the thick bun that she loves to tie her hair in. She was close to me than she has been in years. And I wanted the moment to last forever. Ok enough. Just because I am reading my first Mills and Boon does not mean I start writing cheesy things on a public blog. And that too about sgMS.

To come back to the afterlife of being a published author, to be honest, it sucks. While I was writing, I had no one to answer to. No one had any expectations. I broke away from all relationships. I was a free fucking bird. I had saved some and seen the world and all I had to do was write 1000 or so word everyday. The 1000 words were a struggle but every word I wrote brought along elation and excitement and satisfaction. I was rowing my own boat in the vast ocean and it did not matter if the boat stayed afloat or drowned. No one would've noticed to be honest. I was truly by myself. I was the master of my time. I could choose what I did.

Now, now that the book is done, I am back to being the chief bread-earner for my family. A side-note on my parents. If not for them, I wouldn't have been able to lead such a nomadic life. Not nomadic but hippy. Thanks Ma and Pa.

But now that I am back, the grind sucks. The ones I listen to, I goto advice for, my mentors, they tell me that that's how life is meant to be lived. I refuse to accept. When God, or whoever else made us, he had to have a plan. And that plan definitely could not be as wasteful as spending hours in a room with other people, trying to give wings to other people's dreams. Damn life. It's so frivolous and wasteful. Something needs to be done. I don't know what.

At times I think the ones who are called mad, they probably weren't mad at all. They were merely taking the world for a ride. That dude Nietzsche said something interesting about such people. He said, "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." I want to believe that he was right. I want to believe that a lot of people around me are dancing to their tunes and I have no clue as to what they are listening to. Wish I had a tune playing in my head. I could've danced to my tune and I could've ignored the world around me. But then, the eternal question. Is it what the life is meant for? To take other for a ride?

There has to a way out. Someone has to have answers. Someone must know the meaning of it all. Someone has to solve the conundrum. There are so so many things that are wrong about the world around us. The unfairness of the world, the hazaar khawahishs, the bonds that prevent us from taking wings, the expectations, sgMS, money. There are so many things that I dont have a clue to. Time to seek help? I don't know. Who'd have answers? Are they easy?

Guess this is what Midlife Crisis is all about?

P.S.: Loved writing this little rant. Oh, the pleasures of venting out. And the pleasures of writing. And the pleasures of a coffee shops. Thanks Starbucks!

P.P.S.: Just updated my bucket list.

#tnks on Catapooolt

News!

I just signed up for a crowdfunding campaign on catapooolt.com to help me raise money to market #tnks. The campaign is live on the catapooolt website. Please go see it. Here is a small intro I made for it.



So why I am doing this? What do I hope to get out of it? What is the exact status of the book? You must have like a million questions. Hopefully this post will answer all those. I like the QnA format the best. Here it is.

U: What is the status of the book?
SG: As we speak, the book is with the printers. Should be available in first half of November. The publisher (Grapevine) has sent requests to Flipkart and Amazon India to list the book but I don't know the status as yet. I need to check with the publisher for it.

U: What do you hope to get out of the campaign?
SG: Two things actually. A, Reach out to more people. And B, raise some money (Rs. 5 lakhs to be precise) that I plan to use to market my book.

U: Thats a lot of money. How do you plan to use it? 
SG: To be honest, Rs. 5 lakh would not translate into a lot of actual cash. A large chunk of it would go towards the cost of running the campaign (cant get into specifics buts it's in low double digit percentage points). Then, each contributor will get atleast one copy of the book. Another large chunk will go towards its cost. Finally, I would be left with about a couple of lakhs for marketing. I hope to spend it on conducting a book tour, physical meetups, placing sample copies at libraries across the country and online marketing (SEM, FB and other online platforms). No, I will not take home any money that I raise from the platform. Please do ask me in case you have questions around this.

U: Do you have marketing plan in place? 
SG: Yes I do. Available on request. Please ask me and I would share.

U: Why crowdfunding?
Few reasons. Here is a list.

• I am poor. No shame or guilt in admitting it. Heard of poverty porn?
• I need money to market. Like any product, the audience (people who read books) needs to be told that a product that they may like (my book) exists and they ought to try it. This telling the audience bit requires money. And hence crowdfunding. Simple.
• Access to "crowd." As much I hate calling people "crowd," it's an accepted term. So, crowd is a set of people spread all over the Intenret - who I may or may not know - that often help others realize their goals dreams. Most crowdfunding websites have a long list of patrons and a ready community of such people.
• No other alternative. I have to spend money to get attention. Everyone may hate the book. That's a different matter. But they need to read it first. So, I don't have a rich father or long-lost uncles. Not dating a rich heiress. Worked for peanuts all my life and hence no savings. Don't like the concept of loans. And hence no other source of money.
• Marketing. Every person who sees the crowdfunding campaign gets to know about my book. That's a motivation in itself. The entire idea of getting as many people possible to read the book is driving this bit. Higher the number of people who read the book, more feedback I get and better I get. I am in this (writing) for the long haul and I better get better with time.
• Finally, why not! 

U: What would you give in return if someone supports the campaign?
SG: Boat load of thanks. That translates into good karma. In terms of tangibles, you ofcourse get a copy of the book.I volunteer to sign and write a personal message in each copy that I ship to people who support me. I know I am no big deal and my message is not important to anyone. But your support is important to me. And writing a message is the least I can do for you. A few goodies that the Catapooolt guys have thrown in (more details on the campaign page). I also plan to work alongside other first-time authors come up with their books. I am definitly not the best writer out there. But I am sure that I know how to finish a book and get it in a shape that a publisher may want to see. To me, that was the biggest challenge while I was working on the book. And I want to work with other first-timers on it. And, an opportunity to pitch your book to my publisher, Grapevine India. Trust me, its a tough ask to get a face-to-face meeting with a publisher.

U: What if the campaign is a flop and you can't raise the money you seek?
SG: Big deal. Things often don't go as planned. That does not mean we stop living. I would atleast learn a few things about this thing called crowdfunding. No? That's it. I've run out of questions. You have more questions? Yes? Please ask me. No? Please support me.

Thank You! Oh, one more thing, Catapooolt guys are really really cool. If you are looking to raise funds for a project or something, please do consider them. I would be happy to connect. It's been an absolute pleasure to work with them.

Originally published on #tnks blog.

Hello, Mr. First Timer!

I subscribe to a few blogs and newsletters. One of them is by this guy called Jack Cheng. His last newsletter talked about things he did for the first-time in the last week.

Taking inspiration from him, here is a list of things I did for the first-time in my life, in the last week till the time of writing this. In no particular order.

1. Slept for over 18 hours on Sunday. The time when I was awake, I took a flight, ate, showered and walked. No phone calls, no conversations, no interruptions. It was just me, with myself. Wish life had more days like that. 
2. Asked the 50 dates girl out. She runs this blog, 50 dates in Delhi. Love the project. Love the way she writes. I had to make friends with her. Wrote in and asked her out. And no, she hasn't responded so far. Knowing of her popularity, I dont expect an answer. But, like Geeta says, karm karo, fal ki chinta nahi. [Update. Before I could publish, I did get a reply!]
3. Pushed, shoved, tugged, dragged a shopping cart full of things that I bought for someone else's house. Hoping to make the place better. And despite the fact that I hate going to these grocery, home product places on the weekend but that's all I had. I had to do. Why? I dont know. The person better keeps the house clean.
4. Decided to run a Marathon. By June of next year. Gives me 8 odd months to prepare. More on this later in the day / week. I am using this book as my guide. Prof. Bakshi had recommended this book some time back in one of his posts. 
5. Cancelled a reminder that I had put to alert #sgMS on a med that she ought to take every monday at 8. She is no longer with me and I ought to move on. Tough but I would. Inshallah. I would.
6. Missed deadlines. On two things that could impact how my book does. One was to one of the best social media marketing brains in the country. And other to a platform that could have helped me market my books to people I don't know. Knowing both of them, I dont think I am getting another shot. Damn! 
7. Got an author page on Goodreads. Its at goodreads.com/saurabhgarg. Takes me a step closer to having a wikipedia page some day :). Why do I want it? I dont know. What would I do with it? I dont know. After all it would be one of 5 million (and counting) pages on the wikipedia! 

Thats it. I am sure there is more. But cant recall. These 7 were the definite highlights. And I loved writing this one. Thanks Jack! Lets see if I remember to do write one, the next week. 

And what did you do for the first-time in the last week? 

P.S.: Mandatory plug for my book. The Nidhi Kapoor Story. Website: www.tnks.in. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheNidhiKapoorStory