I am in love!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and children of all ages, here is a grand announcement.

I am in love! I. AM. IN. LOVE!

With Frances. Of the Frances Ha fame. I will get to her in a minute. In the meanwhile, let me get a couple of disclosures out of the way.

a. I am FINALLY over sgMS. Long story. For a different day. But, I am back to being on the lookout for that perfect love. If there is something like that. The romantic is me (who has this never-ending zest for life) would want to believe that there is. The pragmatic in me (who stares at a balding old man in the mirror, growing older by the day, every morning while cleaning my teeth) says it's a myth. I'd let time decide. 

b. I don't watch movies unless something is really really recommended or I get amazing company. So when Prateek recommended Frances Ha, I was slightly skeptic. But Prateek is a master at people watching and he knows how to read people bette than anyone else I know. If he recommends something, I take it very seriously. So I had to watch it. 

Coming back to Frances.

I am in love! I am saying this for I don't know, a hundredth time. And I can say it a 100 more times if I have to. Because I am. I could not imagine that someone like Frances could actually exist. Even if she is a figment of imagination of a film maker.

She is everything that I ever want to be. She is a little mad, a little quirky, a little creative, a little jealous of her best friend, a little lost, a little human, a little cool, a little interesting, a little mysterious, a little impulsive, a little wanderlust, a little this and a little that. But, but, she is super super adorable. The kind I could live my life with. The kind that would make life worth living. The kind that would make me want to plan for elaborate surprises.

To be honest, to stumble on someone as great is no mean feat. Especially when it's coming on the back of an on-off relationship with probably the best thing (apologies to the feminists for objectifying her) God ever made, #sgMS.

So in the movie, Frances is this not so young woman who is on a perpetual look out for the love of her life, little sunshine, some money to be able to have a place of her own and her identity. The hunt takes her to interesting places, throws her in interesting parties, makes her bump into interesting people and takes her to oddball jobs. The movie follows her adventure as she finds her way through life. Through tribulations, sorrows, drunken night outs and awkward dates.

She says, "I like things that look like mistakes." And a man around her says that she's "undatable." Would you not fall for a woman like that? You know that feeling? When you meet someone and you know that she is PERFECT for you!

Let me change tracks and talk about myself here for a second now. I have no shame or guilt in admitting that I am undatable as well. And I am lost. And I want a place of my own and I want my own identity. And I want money. Lots of it. Having made a list of all these things I want, I still don't know what I really want. I refuse to stick to one job yet I believe that I am great at whatever task I take up.

Do you see where I am going with this? Don't you think I ought to get a Frances in my life to share my highs and lows with? So, here is the million dollar question. Would you want to be my Frances? You want to make a mistake? And do you like things that look like mistakes? I promise I would stick around. I tend to. Find me on FB, Twitter and other places. Give me a sign. If there's one thing I have done right, it is that I have made myself very easy to find - on the web. The code word when you do it is, like Frances would mockingly say, "Ahoy Sexy!"

P.S.: Thanks Prateek for recommending the movie. You very well knew that I don't watch movies but I did see this one and did I love it? Hell yeah!

P.P.S.: The love thing with Frances? It was not that love-in-first-sight kind of love. I am too old for that. She grew on me. I was confused in the beginning about my feelings for her but when she finally reached Paris in the movie and had that conversation with her friend, I had my aha moment. You have to watch the movie.

10 things I learned after #tnks happened

Buy my book here! 

If you live under a stone, you would have missed the big thing I did last year - publish a book! More about it is at www.tnks.in. Do check it out.

So its been two months since the book came out and here is a list of 10 things that I learnt. The hard way.

1. Unlike what you want to believe, the world does not stop going around because you've written a book. There are far too many authors and farer tooer manyer books in the world. And no, no one wants to know when your next book is going to come out. Even if you've booked a domain name for it a year in advance. 
2. People don't mob you asking for your autograph. In fact they don't even know you. When you tell them that you're a published author, they go "uh huh… so?" and you don't have an answer. 
3. When people actually do stop to talk to you about books, more often than not they are not they are not curious about yours. Or you. They want to know if you've had any tryst with Chetans or Amishs of the world. 
4. If the book does not sell, the only person to blame is you. No one else. Your book is your priority. No one else's. Not even if they are your publisher, your editor, your mother, your friend, your agent. You and you alone are responsible. Even if you get a tiny percentage as royalty. No wonder they say that writing is the loneliest profession in the world. 
5. You know what is lonelier than writing a book? Marketing it. Marketing your book is like pimping yourself. It's like selling your soul. It is very similar to job hunting. Or trying to find someone to date. For each of these, you are supposed to sell yourself. You are supposed to extol the virtues (that may or may not be your strong suit). And you are supposed to hide your vices. You do it once, it's awkward. You do it twice, it's soul-stirring. You do it more than that, you start considering yourself as the greatest loser (well, sorest loser) to have walked on Mother Earth. Ever. Funny that all first-time writers (well, most) do this and seem totally ok with it. I, on the other hand am not. Why? Any shrinks reading this? 
6. If you somehow get over the innate shyness to make enough noise about your book in this world full of clutter, do not expect it to catapult you to fame and success and money and interviews and matrimonial proposals and movie offers and other such things. It takes forever to gain traction with your book. Historians estimate that Birbal could cook his khichidi faster. 
7. The book is not a way to live a life free from a job. Most authors have to maintain a full-time job. Why do people even want to write books when they know that it hardly pays (baring a few great ones like Chetan and Amish). So, the dreams you had of quitting your job after you wrote your book? Let em be in that fuzzy dreamy state for a few more years. May be few decades. Or, may be marry a woman who takes up the challenge to earn bread for family and allows you to be a stay-at-home writer. It would be so cool actually! If you know of any single, career-oriented women looking to settle down with a happy-go-lucky guy, please point them to me. Apart from being bald, overweight and slightly on the older side, I am perfect! References available. On request. 
8. Oh, there are side effects of being a writer. You think so much that you lose hair (ok, I made that up to cover for my bald head). But you do put on weight because all you do the entire day, is write. You type, type, recover crashed hard disk, write some more and then hope like hell that some publisher likes it. So you put on weight. And you become boring because you don't have time to step out and enjoy parties and all that. People around you start dismissing you as a boring recluse that is lost in his stories all the time. Well, people are often right. Case in point? Your's truly. Wait a minute. What does "your's truly" even mean? Who invented it? Is it one of those Indian-English inventions? Must be. Moving on...
9. You inadvertently become a grammar nazi. Even though you are an Indian and your introduction sounds like "myself Sunder Srivastava," and your grammar skills are sketchy at best, you tend to think of yourself as custodian of lingua britannica. And every time you see or hear or come across someone who makes a typo or a mistake (was vs were, you're vs your, its vs it's, ok vs okay, et al) you take it as personal offense. You want to castrate that person, you want to pack that person off to Bangladesh or any other fourth-world country. Of course your first book has so many typos and grammatical errors that you could be banned from using English language for the rest of your seven lives. Classic case in point of mediocre yet arrogant attitude, hypocrisy and delhiwallah-showoff attitude. 
10. You get a lesson in humility. To be honest, you don't really want it. It just happens. You actually want to become that arrogant prick that gives hard time to everyone around him all the time. But you realize you can't. Because to be arrogant, you need to have some substance that the world would tolerate your shenanigans for. The book you thought that was your gift to the mankind, the best thing to have happened since the advent of the printing press, a knight in the shining armor for that generation that is bored of those predictable stories, gets lukewarm response. And you automatically become humble. So humble that you are often found knocking at unknown doors, hoping to slip in a word about your book at those places. Oh, do you know of some places where I can talk about my book? 

Thats 10 things. Of course I learnt way more than 10 things. These ten were the most nagging of em all. Someday, time permitting, I plan to write an entire book about the process of writing a book so that you may go write your book! Yeah, a book about how to write a book. Like a recursive function. Like a feedback loop. Like a robot that can reproduce. I am not kidding.

Lemme know if you would want to read it. I will make it available for free if there are enough requests. Until then, please buy my book!

P.S.: If you find any typos in this, any grammar mistakes in this, please do let me know. Will you? 

Dear 4E on 6E 462

GARG / SAURABH / MR on 4D

Dear 4E on 6E 462,

First things first, this must be the 234th (or 287th) flight that I have taken in last five or so years. No I am not exaggerating. Neither am I showing off. I am just putting things in perspective.

Second, you may want to classify me as yet another delhiwallah - the concept of which is flawed in the first place itself. But trust me, unlike popular perception, the average Joe Amit walking down the streets in Delhi is not a pervert. He respects women. He knows his boundaries. He knows where to stop. He knows that there is life beyond merely ogling at women. He has dreams. He has aspirations. He has other things on the agenda.

Of course you wouldn't take my word for this. If you would, why would you be so uncomfortable sitting next to me? I promise I checked for BO and I was not stinking. I even asked an aspiring author who had come to meet at the airport about it. And he seemed nonplussed by my question.

Third, you are gorgeous. You looked great. I am serious. You have to be one of the most good-looking women I've ever had the fortune of sitting next to. Not just at 35000 feet but anywhere. Except when I've sat next to sgMS. But no so good looking that I forget who I am and make uncalled for advances at you. I know better than that. I do. Trust me on this. If not for your antics, I would've never even looked in your direction even once.

So, now with all these things out of the way, dear 4E, pray answer one simple question. The question has given me sleepless night last night and most of the day today. I am confused, I have never seen such a behavior from any other co-passenger in any of the flights that I've taken in my life. The question is… Why dear 4E would you contort your face, snort, shiver every two seconds? And then look at me with those accusatory eyes every third second? What did I do?

At first I thought may be 4F was troubling you. But the dude on the other side obviously a first timer and he was busy taking pictures from his window seat. That couldn't have made you react like that. Or may be it could. You looked like a rich woman and in your world, flying could be a privilege reserved for a select few only. I don't know. Just speculating you know.

Plus, modern planes, especially in India and in coach class are classic example of cramped spaces. You must be used to your large mansions but some amount of discomfort is expected when you fly. No?

Thank God that your discomfort was not evident enough for the air hostesses to take note of. If they noticed, they would've reported me for sure. And I, the poor bald old man from Delhi wouldn't have had anywhere to go. I am scared of heights and my pics being taken and splashed all over the Facebook.

When I realized that my presence was THE thing that was bothering you, I tried faking sleep, I tried to write, I tried to read and I even went to the loo twice, hoping that my absence would give you some sort of peace.

But no; Everytime I came back to 4D, you would shrug and then look at me. You know such things can scar people for life?

Thankfully I was wearing a pair of denims and a nice shirt. If I were in my regular flying attire - shorts and an old tattered tee-shirt - you would've definitely asked them to change your seat. Come to think of it, that's a good idea. I must dress like that when I fly. There's a higher probability that I'd fly in peace! I'd do it next time on. And when I do that, I hope I don't meet you again onboard a plane. Actually not just on 6E, not on 9W, not on the ground. Not anywhere else.

I don't want to meet you ever again. All the best to your beauty and your issues with people like me. To the day I die, I would be bothered about your issues with me. I am willing to tolerate more sleepless nights but I am not willing to meet you again. Ever.

Happy flying.

Love Regards,
The bald man on 4D

Note:
This is the first in a series of blogposts that I plan to write every time I take a flight.

Why would I do so? Because I love writing. And I love flying. And I love watching people when they're flying - for some reason flying brings out the best (or may be worst) in them. And there is something or the other that happens every time I fly. Like one time, I was in this long queue and I had less than 2 minutes left to check-in. Wait… that's a story for a different time. 

Don't try this at home!

There are a few things that I take REALLY serious. Really as in Caps-Locked real. Things that I can't compromise on; ever. Things that shouldn't change irrespective of what market research suggests, consumers demand or the world craves for. You must not touch them or change them. Things that are not just things but are lifestyle, a way of life. Like Master Shifu, like Miyagi San, like Micky (Goldmill). Like a drive down a coastal road, like going all-in pre-flop, like a bungee jump. Like writing, like talking, like music.

Get the drift?

So, one such thing is a outing at the McDonald's in India. It's something that has to be as sacrosanct as hole-in-one, Sachin's straight drive and Lucky Ali's music. Something that must not change ever. Something that should be around even 50 years from now. Something that you can count on. Something that you could pass on to your kids. Something that you could reminisce about on a balmy winter afternoon on a hill station.

Food at McDonald's is as comfort as a food could be. Where else would you find the perfect mix of dough and potato, deep-fried till it's golden brown, so crisp that you can hear the crunch a million miles away, available at throwaway prices, at outlets that are more often than not a stone's throw away from where you are?

I have downed innumerable sorrows along with those crispy fries. I have slithered away my darkest and deepest blues with those McAloo burgers. I have told myself that Protein is good for me and ate Egg Wraps three at a time. And the days when I had coke, Diet coke and other variants, I think I would have contributed more than a million liters to the bottom-line. No kidding.

It's so sacrosanct that the day they change the menu and remove McAloo Tikki Burger or the Pizza McPuff from their menu, I will personally burn down every outlet. And at the speed at which they are mushrooming, I know it would be a Herculean task but I am up for it.

In the meanwhile, talking of all this has made me crave for more McDonald's. Lemme go find some.

Oh, if someone from McDonald's is reading this, please know that your service standards in Bangalore suck. You may want to replace your training and QC staff. If I were you, I would.

P.S.: In case you did not notice, I maintained complete radio internet silence for almost a week. And it was therapeutic. There was no deluge of tweets, Facebook notifications, emails, updates from I don't know how many websites to overwhelm me with. And you know what? I thought I would miss my digital addiction. I did for a couple of days. But after that it was ok. I am back online and I don't have any more craving for digital connectivity. I like this new life where I spend time in the moment.

Do try it (at home).

I wish...

Here's a list of thing that I wish I could have / own / do / work on / etc.

I wish I could be a stand-up comic comedian
I wish I could sing well
I wish I could play the guitar
I wish I went to a college like Harvard
I wish my book sold as much as Chetan's sell
I wish I did not have to work for money
I wish my money worked for me instead
I wish I could work out from the road
I wish I had a fast Internet connection
I wish I had a faster computer
I wish I could help my ex-boss, ex-employer buy his dream car - Audi Q5
I wish I could buy myself a car. Any car
I wish I had more time
I wish I could choose how I spent my time
I wish I had more talent
I wish I had more brains
I wish I was creative
I wish I could earn respect
I wish I had more friends
I wish I had less people to answer to
I wish I did not have to marry
I wish I did not have responsibilities
I wish I could make shit happen
I wish I could meet Steve Jobs. Any Jonny Ive. And Warren Buffet. And Bill Gates. And so many more people.

and...
...
...

I wish I could be with #sgMS

The three books for 2015

Its the 11th day of 2015 and this is my 5th post. If I continue to go at this rate, I think my goal of 250K words will happen. Of course I know that all the words need to take me close to a destination. Destination being - #trss and two more full-length books. By the end of 2015.

Let me talk about them here.

1. #trss
This will be similar to #tnks. I dont know the shape it will take. But this will be published by Grapevine, assuming the team at Grapevine likes what I write.

2. 12x12
I am attempting to write 12 love stories in 12 months. Short stories. Each a fan-fiction to the greatest love stories I've read. It's an initiative by Radhika, who I met on Wrimo India FB group. I dont know if you can still participate in 12 x 12 but may be check this page for more details. I even know what I am going to call it. Dear #sgMS. What else :)

P.S.: Last I heard, sgMS is getting married. That means whatever little hopes I had of reconciliation, they're all gone. Unless I turn into a murderer and kill the lucky man. But then why plunge her into sadness. More on this at some point in time in future. May be when I am ready to kill myself? 

3. Third
This is slightly tricky. I want to write on travel. And on stories that people encounter when they travel. Like 12x12, this will be a collection of sorts. But of essays rather than stories. Observations rather than lesson in history. Again, I dont have a structure in my mind right now. But once I am free from the rigmarole of a clock that I need to punch in at 10, I shall work on this.

In the meanwhile, please do read #tnks and do let me know how can I improve what I write. I am very happy with the response that I've got. I know, I know. It's far from making me rich. But it does make me happy every time I spot my book amongst a pile of books, at my home. The book is still not available at bookstores. I dont know why. The publisher is assuring me that it's doing everything that he can to make it available. But it's not.

Any answers anyone?

It costs nothing to encourage an artist...

From Zen Pencils - http://zenpencils.com/comic/kevinsmith/

Kevin Smith says, "it costs nothing to encourage an artist..."

Dear 500+ friends, family, readers, strangers and others, thank you so so so so so much for encouraging me. I dont claim to be an artist. But I want to be one some day. And you guys are helping me become one.

It's been almost two months since the book came out. And...
I have had people telling me that they love it.
I have had people telling me they hate it.
I have had people telling me to try harder.
Some say, may be, I ought to retire after my first.

There are some who say they don't want to read because they know that I am no good. I persisted and sent them copies. I don't know if they read. I hope they do.

Then there are some who read, re-read and sent copies to their friends and family. I asked them not to do so. But they insisted and sent.

Some said I ought to stick to writing my blogs and gave me tips to improve the blog. And on the other hand, some asked me the question that I loved the most - when is my next coming out?

And the answer is, by the end of 2015. It's WIP. I'd talk about it when I am ready to.

Coming back, to be honest, I couldn't claim to be a writer without inputs, support and encouragement from all of you. I know I have made mistakes and I know most of you have been tolerant. Thank you all of you.

#tnks is my first book. And like any other first, it means the world to me. All good bits have happened because I had so many giants to stand on the shoulders of. All the bad things happened because I could not push myself to do better. I promise that I'd leave no stone unturned when my next comes out.

As the cliche goes, the entire journey of #tnks has been nothing less than a roller-coaster ride. And I've enjoyed every bit of it.

Thank you so so much for sending me on the journey.

Oh, I am not done yet. In fact, I have just started. More books, more mistakes, more pushy marketing, more requests and a lot more is on the way. Till then, thank you once again for everything.

Regards,
SG

Thanks to Zen Pencils, Grapevine India, Wrimo India, Kevin Smith.

P.S.: Wrote this on the FB page and tnks blog after the FB reached 500 "likes."

Reclaiming life (search for meaning)

Wrote this towards the end of last year. Couldn't post it back then because the post got extremely person it. But now that I know that I am back to being good, here it is!

This is an edited version.

As the new year dawns closer, I am in my thinking mode that I get in towards the end of every year. I think about what went right, what went wrong and how to change things. And I realize that one thing that I am very sure is that I want to be the master of my time and there is no way I'd let someone else control my time.

This day on, I promise that no one else will control my time.

Why this time-bound thing all of a sudden?

Because when your nose starts bleeding all of a sudden and a trickle of blood starts dripping from somewhere inside your nose and makes a puddle on the white-tiled floor below, you know that your time is limited. It's like that wake up call that shakes and wakes you up.

If it were a one-time occurrence, you may dismiss it. But when the bleeding happens again and this time soils the bed-sheet you are on, you realize that life is fragile and you dont have control over it. You realize that life is indeed limited and precious and you ought to row your boat, however small it may be; Rather than being a captain of the largest ship they ever made.

The deep red liquid that supports life, when you see it flowing like that, it makes you question the meaning of life. The more evolved ones may have questioned before me. But then I am one of those "if it doesn't affect me, I am not affected by it" kinds. It sucks to have such a philosophy but that's how I am made. I want to change but I haven't been able to. May be someday I would. For the time being, I know that my time is limited and I ought to control it. I can no longer be at the mercy of others. I need to address that meaning of life question now!

I dont know how many more days I have left but I better make the most of em. And unlike a lot of other people who have real talent, the closest thing I have, that I can call talent, is the ability to write. I may not be a good writer but I know that writing gives me pleasure. I know that I love to see words appear magically on the screen in front of me. I know that it's a vocation that I can better at, if I keep at it, if I keep showing up.

So, while I continue to question the meaning of life, I am going to continue to write. Till I find answers, if there are any.

In terms of meaning of life, is life about making a difference? Is it about immortality? I have no clue.

But whatever it is about, I know that I ought to be healthy and happy. And I ought to master my time.

Next question is, how!

Jan 01. Much ado about nothing?

Stack of post-it notes on a wall in my room.

If you know me, you'd know that I am big on new year resolutions and I make an elaborate list every year. This year is no different. I have made a long list.

And as a result of the list, at the stroke of the midnight hour when the clock ticks in to the new year, I am supposed to be infused with some energy, some superpower that would make me an invincible superhuman and I'd rush through the list as if it was a walk in the park.

But Dec 31 came and went. The clocked crept into Jan 01 and continued ticking. But I could not see any apparent change in me. I don't feel any special. Neither do I have extra spark running in my veins. I am still the same. Cranky, old as always.

I understand that change is often a slow process and the rate of change is so slow that you can hardly notice it. And thus I am willing to be patient about it. Some day, may be something ticks in me that makes me better.

The change was supposed to start on the 1st of Jan. It did not happen. I am not disappointed. Because, I did DO a few interesting things and a handful of good things happened to me. I also took first baby steps towards some of my goals for 2015 - 250K words, 30", marathon etc…

So here is a non-exhaustive list of good things from day 01, 2015.

- As a regular at Starbucks, I love their Java Chip Frappuccino. Apparently its the most loaded beverage that they have. I replaced it with a variant of Green Tea. Oh by the way, I HATE green tea. But apparently the green tea makes you healthier and thus the change.
- Stopped eating Rice, Sugar, Potato and replaced it with pulses, roti and cabbage. More on this in subsequent posts.
- Got calls from a college where I taught event management. This I think is good news. Because this translates into money. And more opportunities of interaction with young students. And opening up of avenues. I just need to be able to negotiate the money better.
- Got a tax refund that was stuck with the Govt. of India. At the risk of jinxing the inflow of money, I hope that more money comes my way in 2015. And the kind of work that I want to do; rather than work that I am forced to do.
- Started a tumblr blog where I would eventually dump whatever thoughts swirl in my head the entire day. I should ideally use Evernote but I think I have worked out a system for sorting things in my entire life. Twitter for marketing and networking. Facebook as a content hub. LinkedIn as my CV. Evernote is my extended brain where I capture things and context. Tumblr blog would be where I vomit ideas and thoughts without any inhibitions. You are welcome to follow the blog, if you find it useful. I will add more tools in a post about productivity. Or tools that I use to manage my life. Again in a subsequent post.

However the day did not go as planned. These were quite a few misses. Actually more misses than hits. Here is a list.

- Wasted time helping someone else. I was supposed to say no. I would've loved to help if it paid. Or taught me something that I did not know. Or if it were a way to pay if forward. What I did for close to three hours today was none of the above. Need to stop such things. My time is precious.
- Played poker and lost. I have to complete a few assignments that are due tomorrow today and I haven't even started on those. So, I should've worked instead. I played poker instead.
- Had to have a Red Bull to stay up. Deadlines like I said. I don't like using things to keep me up. I will try to reduce the consumption. It's already been close to three weeks since I had a coke. That itself is an achievement. Over time I want to reduce my reliance on Red Bull as well.
- Had to start on a few projects - Guitar, Capt Obv, OnWriting. I did nothing about the projects. I did not start. I did not plan. I did not think of those. I was too bored, too blind, too busy with helping other people that I ended up doing nothing. Something that I need to stop doing, if I am to be rich or successful in the year.

Am sure there are more things that I ought to have done but did not do. Like the next book, I should have written 1000 words by end the day. I did not write a single word. On 2nd, I will have to write 2000. The backlog just keeps piling up! I need to get away from the backlog clearing weekend habit!

So may be, just may be, Jan 02 is better. I'd make it better. Who am I kidding? It's 4 AM already and I have a long long day at work. Only thing I'd probably be able to do once I am back from work after 7 PM would be to crash on the bed. Damn! Jan 01 was I had to reset and undo life. I had to eliminate clutter. I had to start saying no. And I failed royally at all those.

May be Jan 02 is better? Wish me luck!

It better be better!

P.S.: Apart from setting the goals, I haven't had time to split the goals into tasks and short-term actionable items. I will do so on the coming weekend. It means that I would have fewer days to reach my goal. Am I ok with it? Yes I am! As long as I am moving towards something!

P.P.S.: From Jan 02 onwards, I will post these updates on the tumblr blog. This blog shall remain for the consumption of the world at large. Tumblr will be open as well but I will not talk about it much. If it's of some value to someone, they would flock it!

Hello 2015.

2015. Via

Every year, around this time, I get into this self-evaluation mode. I think about what went right and what went wrong during the year. I think about the year ahead and things I would do in the coming year. I am after all, big on new year resolutions!

So, #in2015, I would do the following.

• #writing. Write 250K words. Yeah. 250,000. Translates into about 4 full-length books. Looks tough to do but if I manage to write a 1000 words everyday, for say 5 days a week, for 50 weeks, I'd do it.
• #writing. Publish book 2. I don't know what to call it though. I am thinking of calling is #trss. But let's see what it ends up being. I have a vague idea of the storyline. I was supposed to get the first draft ready by the year end. But havent been able to even start. So, I am looking at a 2015 release, I will have to get the draft out to Sachin and Parul by end of March 15. 
• #fitness. Will be 30". This's been like a perpetual goal. It's been three years that I've been trying but nothing has happened. I did lose some inches but I am back to my former glory, thanks to long work hours and a sedentary lifestyle. 
• #running. Will run a FULL marathon in the year. Despite my hernia. I am targeting a marathon in August / September. I am following this book (after I saw it on Prof. Bakshi's blog). Will start training in January. Have started the prelim training already. I am using the C25K app to get me to start running for 30 minutes before I begin the book. 
• #money. Will have saved 10 lakhs. Right now, my savings account stands at Rs. 5005 700. Also, I will have created an alternate source of income. And I will not have to work for money. This is the number 1 goal on my list. For this, I am willing to be taken for a ride, willing to follow those babas, talk to those self-help gurus, walk the tight rope between ethics and legality. 
• #music. Learn to play guitar. It's going to be an expensive hobby. But I will learn it. Not because I want to perform on the stage but I want to challenge myself to learn a new skill. Why guitar? Because I like it's sound. I love music. I can give an arm and a leg to be good at it. I just need to give it some time! 
• #poker. Restart poker. I am an average player and have had some limited success with it. As per my poker stats, I have actually lost a total of 30K (not including travel, hotel and other incidentals) on poker. So, yeah I have lost money. I will focus on it and see if I can get any good at it. I will give it a year and see where it goes. If I dont become any good, I will revert to being a recreational player. The dreams of WSOP can take a back seat then.
• #social. Identify a cause and work with that. Human conditions, diseases, nature, culture, conflict etc do not move me. Rather, education does. Development does. Sustainability (not in terms of nature but in terms of perpetual existence) does. Or may be something else. I will pick something up and work on it. 
• #sgMS. I will try to get over her. No promises though. Thanks to rr for pointing out that it's sucking the soul of me and I need to move on from her. 
• #read. Read more. Learn more. Write more. Talk less ;P
• #travel. As much as I can. Irrespective of money. Travel. 

So, in terms of a calendar, the milestones look like...

Mar: 5K race with a friend (Akshay)
May: Stop working for money

Sep: Marathon (full, in about 5 hours)

Dec: Book 2 out in market

Dec: 30"
Dec: Money in the bank
Sometime: Poker Tourney

That's it. Wish me luck! And may be, help me crack these goals may be?

Oh, to get me to actually achieve these, I will have to resort to a few ideas. These sound like deviation from what I have been like. But like most other learning systems, I remain an evolving specimen of the tribe called the homosapiens. So I am learning. And evolving. Here are the ethos for 2015.

• Do. 
• Ship. Steve Jobs way.
• My time is limited. Money is not. I can earn money. I can make money. Not time.
• No regret principle. Something that Jeff Bezos says. 
• Idea to project in 90 days. Read on Anaggh's twitter stream. 
• Get aggressive about marketing (without being obnoxious about it)

For the context, here are the links to previous posts. 

Hello 2014

2014. The year that will be

Goals for 2013

2011

What about you? What are your goals #in2015? And, most importantly, can I do something to help you reach your goal #in2015?

What made 2014 special for me?

Devika prompted me to write about what made 2014 special for me. Here is the post that I wrote for her blog. This piece originally appeared on Devika's blog. 

2014 is a very special year for me. I'd always remember it. For the rest of my life. After all, my first book, The Nidhi Kapoor Story (#tnks), published and released in 2014!

Writing a book has been a dream that I've had for I don't know how many years. And now that #tnks is out, I don't want to stop. It's a high like no other. To see your name in print. To have strangers send emails to you and tell you that they enjoyed the book. To have your long lost friends call in and congratulate you. It's a feeling that is unparalleled.

When I look back in time, I wonder why didn't I write a book sooner. I always thought that writing would be tough and getting a book out will be next to impossible. But when I got around to doing it, I realized that starting was the toughest bit. After that, everything just, sort of, falls in place. Trust me it does! Start writing yours and you'd know what I am saying.

Apart from the dream-come-true bit, even though #tnks doesn’t sell a lot, the book has opened a lot of doors for me. I made tons of new friends and each friend taught me a thing or two. The ever-elusive doors to the Bollywood opened up (as I write this, I am talking to a few people to sell the movie rights of #tnks; fingers crossed). Friends and strangers read, appreciated and said kind things about #tnks (most people who've read the book have liked it and of course there are few who do not). And all these things have encouraged me to go forth and write my next.

Also, may be, just may be, writing is my calling! I don't know yet. I will figure out in the next few years.

Most importantly, writing and publishing a book has given me confidence like nothing else. Now that I have done the seemingly insurmountable task of getting a book out, I believe that I can do anything. Throw a challenge my way and I will accomplish it. Well, any challenge except beating Mr. Bhagat on the sales or popularity charts. If all goes well, I may actually do it someday!

While I was working on the book, there were so many moments of self-doubt. I remember I had considered leaving it midway at least thrice. After all my grammar sucked, my vocabulary was limited and the story was full of clichés. And which interesting writer has a name as boring as "Saurabh Garg?" I mean if I were called Chandraprakash Paul Chatterjee or Basant Singh Chatwal or something, I would've become famous by the virtue of my name. But Saurabh Garg? No way!

But everytime I felt like quitting, I was reminded of this famous quote by my self-appointed guru, Steve Jobs. He often said, "real artists ship." I shipped. I did not allow my limitations to deter me and I continued to write. Once I was done with the manuscript, my publisher fixed a large part of my book. And helped me ship. If I didn't ship I wouldn’t have got so many people to give me feedback on how I write. Each piece of feedback has helped me improve. This post and the new readers I'd reach to, hopefully will help me as an author. In fact, if you are reading this, I urge you to please point out mistakes. I urge you to please write in. I shall be grateful.

Apart from the book, another highlight of 2014 would be my decision help other first-time writers. I realize that I've been lucky with the entire publishing process and there must be a lot of first-timers who may not be as lucky. So, I try and work with them on their manuscripts. So far, have worked with three authors already. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do have some experience and insights. I have given them inputs basis my limited understanding of the publishing process. If you think you need someone to go through your manuscript, please do let me know. I would be happy to help.

Why am I doing this? Call it a way to give back or call it paying it forward. It just feels natural. So I am doing it!

To end this, 2014 has been great to me. And I am very excited about 2015. I plan to write 250K words #in2015. That's like three full-length books. I also plan to publish my second book in 2015. And I plan to work with more first-time authors. And I plan to continue to push myself. From where I am, the journey will only take me higher. I know it will be one hell of a ride.

Join me, if you will.

All the best to you too for 2015.

@Devika, thanks a ton for making me review the year gone by. Like last year 2014, I hope that in 2015, you continue to allow me to pick your brains.

@Other readers, may 2015 be the greatest year of your lives. Like I said, please do tell me if you think I could improve somehow. And if theres something I could do to help you, please do let me know.

Thanks!
Saurabh Garg
30 Dec 2014

Why Starbucks?

As I write this, its 5.25 PM on a Tuesday. I have left office early. Not because I did not have a lot of work. But because I had a lot to do and I did not know where to start from. I just needed a break from all the things I was working on, all the people I was surrounded by and all the things open on my plate. So I took one.

And I am at Starbucks. And for some reason, everything that was bothering me for last few days, all of it is gone! I am in my zone. Where thoughts come to my head and those thoughts become words. And the words appear on the laptop screen. And I feel that I am moving in some direction.

I dont know what is it. May be I have trained my mind to work best when I am sitting on a wooden chair on a wobbly table under the yellow light with all the din of a coffee shop listening to my music on headphones tapping onto the amazing keypad of a MacBook pro.

And while I wrote this, I asked a few questions about a website to a friend, replied to a few work emails, bought the secret santa gift for a colleague and sipped onto an ice cold Javachip Frappuccino. And it's 5:36 PM. About 10 minutes to come up with these 200 odd words.

#ftw. Or as they would have said, "all your base are belong to us"!

Dear Chetan Bhagat

Dear Chetan,

First things first. Let me get a few confessions out of the way.

A, I have not read any of your books and yet I have seen your popularity and sales figure soar with every title you come up with.

B, the only rendezvous I’ve had with you was when I was working as an event manager. I came within breathing distance of you when I was trying to put a mic on your jacket, moments before you were to go up on a stage and address a gathering for the a motivational lecture. Oh, you seem to have done a brilliant job of delivering the lecture. Because after you were done, I heard enthusiastic and loud applause from the audience. Alas, I could not hear you deliver your lecture because I was running around to get the next act ready.

C, I am yet to meet anyone who has shown fondness for what you write or how your write. But for some reason, everyone I know has an opinion or two about you. And that sir, is no mean feat.

Chetan, I write to you to thank you for giving me the courage to quit my day job and wade in uncertain waters while I chased my dreams of being a published author. If not for your success, I couldn’t have done it.

Please indulge me as I go back in time. I first heard of you sometime in the later half of 2004. I was a first-year MBA student at a leading business school - MDI Gurgaon. Since it is a college of repute, students were expected to be good with academics and be well rounded. Those days, reading was regarded as a great way to “build CV value” when the placements happened. So I picked up reading.

I tried different genres. And by trial and error I settled on and fell in love with winding and layered tales of injustice, crimes, murders and the common-man-doing-uncommon-dares-in-face-of-adversity spun by the likes Jeffery Archer, John Grisham, Sue Grafton and others. What more, I often found myself lost into day dreams of creating such plots and stories myself.

Even though I had faith in my abilities and a fire in my belly, I was not sure if I could actually become an author. How could I? After all, I came from a humble background and English to me was, what can I say, intimidating! To me, English was something that only the elite could indulge in, in their fancy, lavish dinner parties. Lingua Britannica was something as exclusive as an admission to your alma matter – the IITs and the IIMs.

The writers and the readers of content created in English had to be special. I mean look at the bestseller list in India from Oct of 2004. Giving you company on those charts are greats like Dan Brown, Amitav Ghosh, Paulo Coelho, Robin Sharma, Mitch Albom, Khushwant Singh, Pawan Verma and others. All these authors have a pedigree that I could give an arm and a leg for. Each of them is read by and discussed by those socialites in their fancy Page 3 parties. And like most things they mulled over in their parties, I could hardly comprehend the language, the depth, the richness, the detail, the pain, the suffering, the longing and other such things that their books talked about.

You, Chetan, were like a whiff of fresh air in an old room full of yellowing books that hadn’t seen sunlight in years. You presence on the list dispelled the famous notion that writing was a serious business; and the notion that you had to be, if not a doctorate in literature, a post-graduate at least to even think about writing.

In fact more I read about the publishing business in those days, more I realize that if I had approached a publisher back then with my manuscript, they would’ve laughed on me. I probably would not even get to enter their grand, opulent offices. On top of it, back then, there were hardly any publishers. And most of them probably believed that they were the custodians of English language. In today’s parlance, we call them the Grammar Nazis.

Fast forward to the Oct of 2014. The tribe of these Grammar Nazis is fast headed towards extinction. The remaining, handful Grammar aficionados are hardly given any importance by anyone. There are more publishers than there are authors. Even foreign publishers have set up shops in India and they regularly publish books by authors like you. And I. Literary agents, and good ones at that, are now dime a dozen. Experienced editors are willing to work with newer authors without expecting a fortune for their editing talent. Great designers are willing to work for next to nothing. Modern trends like self-publishing and social media have unleashed a new crop of writers and given them cheap innovative ways to reaching their audience.

The publishing industry as we knew it traditionally had changed. And Chetan, you ushered this change. Your success made this change possible.

Unchanged however remains your presence on the bestsellers lists. Or may I you’re your dominance? On the latest list of bestsellers in India, you are accompanied by the likes of Paulo Coelho, Sachin Tendulkar and Boria Majumdar. And then there are authors like Preeti Shenoy, Ravinder Singh and Durjoy Dutta.

Sachin is an exception here because it’s his autobiography and it would probably be his only book in life. Apart from Boria (who co-authored Sachin’s book), I am not sure if any one else on the list has a background in literature or journalism.

The Ravinders, The Durjoys and others like them are not yet in their thirties and they command a fan following as large as established Bollywood or Cricket celebrities. Each book they come up with, is much-anticipated and celebrated by their fans. Without your influence I bet they wouldn’t have even considered writing as a career.

You know Chetan, you not only gave the Ravinders and Durjoys the confidence to go forth and write, you gave me a precedent that I could share with my family when I decided to quit. I could tell my friends that I was going to be an author like you and no one raised even an eyebrow. I could talk my employer into granting me a leave without pay for a period of one year. Your success gave me a plausible justification for switching careers after almost 10 years of work. The world around me questioned my sanity but because I had your success as an example, they eventually acquiesced. 

There is more Chetan. You also helped create an entire ecosystem. Because of phenomenal success of your books and non-stop inflow of money pouring into your coffers, new publishers, distributors, designers, editors, reviewers sprang up. All of them attempting to ride the wave, the avalanche of new authors pounding on the doors of impending boom in the publishing industry.

As one such writer, an author, I shall remain indebted to you forever for your seminal work, 5 Point Someone. It started the avalanche that we all are hoping to be a part of. You have proved beyond doubt that English language and literature is no longer a slave to the modern and the rich and the famous. Isn’t that what you are reinforcing in your latest book, Half Girlfriend?

Chetan, Thank you so much! For giving wings to a common man like me to chase my ten-year old dream. And for helping create an ecosystem where the dream could actually see light of the day! You are the knight in the shining armor for dreamers like me. If not for you, my dream would’ve remained a mere thought bubble. I would’ve gone through life without realizing my true passion, my potential.

Thank you once again!

Saurabh Garg
Author, The Nidhi Kapoor Story

Oh, would you have time to read my first book? I would love to send a copy. Please do let me know.

Note: An edited version of this letter appeared on qz.com at http://qz.com/315668/dear-chetan-bhagat-i-quit-my-job-and-became-a-writer-because-of-you/

Untitled. 12.12.14 / 18.12.14.

It's one of those days... Just too much has happened in last 24 hours. Let me try and chronicle those things here.

(a). A friend's dad was unwell. I spent an entire day in hospital. The hatred and aversion that I have for hospitals came rushing back at me. While I was there, I could totally see lives of my loved ones flash past by me. I took a vow to get healthy and never ever see inside of a hospital (for myself). So unless it's REALLY REALLY important, I will not step inside an hospital. More on hospitals on some other post.

(b). One of those important women that I talk about in (a), I called her. I told her that I loved her more than anyone else, anything else. And she hung up on me. She had to. I had no right calling her after all these years and do that. I am sorry for doing so. But I was way too full after the incident at the hospital.

(c). I made a new friend over the last few days, thanks to the book. She is THE 3 AM friend that I've always wanted in life. Not that I dont have other such people. But she is in a different continent and is as broken as I and can totally understand where I come from. But then these are early days. So let's see how it goes.

(d). I am ready to move on yet again. Its not been three months and I've had enough. Let's see what is next. More on this in some other post in some time. I DEFINITELY know what I dont want. And I still dont know what I want. May be I need to see a shrink or something. If only I had the money.

(e). I was messed up in my head and I was killing time on YouTube. Stumbled on this video. And while I enjoyed the performance, I had this shade of guilt and pity. My heart goes out to artiste like Lucky Ali. I have some vague idea of the show business and the kind of tantrums people artists throw. Here he is, performing at a stage that looks small by all standards, on a sound that is fucked up and with a band that looks like an ensemble at best. And he's Lucky fucking Ali. The God reincarnated. Yet getting old by the day. Lucky Ali is / was my first tryst with romance. With O Sanam. How can he perform at such a small stage? May be he likes to do so. May be he does not feel the need to be on a stage that is worthy of his stature. So yeah, pity, guilt and confusion.

(f). I have almost closed on my goals for 2015. Top on that list is my health. Second is guitar. Third is running a marathon/ The others are same as that of 2014. Financial freedom, travel, writing etc. Again, more on this eventually as we draw close to the year-end.

That's it.

Wrote this on 12.12.14. Published on 18.12.12. Why? I did not get time to work on this. Wonder how would the next book happen. #fml

Hello, #trss

Ladies and gents, #trss is now live. 

And it will be out in the market in less than 365 days. 

Help Me!

I sent this email to a few friends and strangers. Seeking help. The version below is an edited one; after I got feedback from some who chose to respond. If you want to help me as well, please do let me know. 

Hi,

Most of you know me. The ones who don't, I met / spoke / interacted with you while I was working on my first book - The Nidhi Kapoor Story. In a couple of cases, you read the book and wrote in. In one case, you are a friend of a friend and you've liked what I wrote. And one of you is a person who reads my blog (yay)!

I write to you because I need help. I have realized that writing makes me happy and if I can get better at it, I can work on my terms, actually make a living out of it and get out of the rat-race. And not just living, I could live comfortably!

For the record, I define comfort as a state where I don't have to think twice before I buy the latest iPhone. I use the iPhone as a proxy to PPP or the Big Mac index.

So coming back, I know I make a lot of mistakes when I write. My grammar could do with improvement. I even slaughter a few sacred cows! I thus want to create a group of trusted friends, acquaintances that would read first drafts of what I write and give me feedback before I publish those on public platforms.

 It will help me in two ways.
A, I will get advice from a trusted group of people.
B, It will help improve the quality of my output.

So, here are some more details on it.

Why you?
Because you have helped me in past. Because you have a view point that I thought was really unique. Because I believe you could help. And most importantly, because I thought you cared about how I write!

What kind of things will I send to you?
These would often be things that move me, things that I need an opinion on, things about technology, life, travel, writing, characters. Things that I really want to share. And of course things I write for commercial purpose - books, scripts, speeches etc. Think of this as a private blog or a closed mailing list. Think of this as way to peek into my brain. Think of this as a testing ground for me to test my ideas on. Think of yourselves as guinea pigs. And FYI, guinea pigs are actually rodents!

What do I expect from you?
Three things. Only.

• Honest critique on what I send you. This could be comments, praises, edits, suggestions, ridicule, death threats, love letters, friendly fire etc. 
• Opportunities. If someone asks you for someone who could write, please point them to me. 
• Links, tips, things that I should be reading, videos that I should be watching, content I ought to be consuming, people I must talk to, practise that I need to put in, to become a better writer. 

What is in it for you? 
I dont know. Except the rush of good hormones that you get when you help someone. And my gratitude. Think of yourself as a king. Or a queen. and think of me as an artesian who's come to your court seeking your patronage and blessings. In the times when Kings and Queens ruled the world, they would often shower artesian with gold, pearls, palaces, princesses and what not. On the other hand, all I am asking for is your time, your patronage. Too much to ask for?

 That's it!

Over to you guys! Oh, this IS the first piece that I want your feedback on.

And, as Steve Jobs would've said... one more thing... Who all do you think I can seek help from on writing? Can you please connect me with them so that I can include them in this list? I promise that I would not send more than one email a week.

On that note, if you choose to not receive these emails, PLEASE tell me and I would remove you from the list.

Thanks so much! Please do tell me how to improve this.

Regards,
Saurabh

P.S.: Once upon a time, I read this quote and I just cant get it out of my head. It goes... "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." I have used it so often that I think I am bordering on getting obnoxious. But I love it so much that I cant stop using it. And I will continue to use it. So, dear giants, please help me see further.

Departmet of Silent Audence (DOSA)

Goodreads. As on 06 Dec 2014.

When I was at MDI, there was this bunch of guys - all of them were really intelligent and good to talk to and everything - who never spoke in the classroom sessions. Even though MDI placed a lot of rigor on class participation and speaking up in lectures, these guys will never ever speak up. Even when the professors pointed at them and asked them questions, they'd stay shut at the cost of getting ridiculed and docking grades. Of course they knew the answers and they could speak eloquently outside the class. But in the room, they'd not utter a word - no one knows why. And they called themselves DOSA - Department of Silent Audience. They were there to seep in everything and not speak up. Like sponges. They were there to stay shut. They were like silent lambs. Actually I could've titled this post the Silence of the Lambs.

Anyhow, it's funny that I am reminded of it them almost 10 years after I first encountered them. Why? Because in the last few days, the feedback, the reviews, opinions and other things on The Nidhi Kapoor Story have started to dry down. I dont know how the sales figures are moving for the book. But I do know that a lot of friends and family have bought the book. And I know for sure that I have not heard from most of them. Not strangers, not the common man. But family and friends.

The first few days were fun. I am not exaggerating but I would get some input, some feedback, some other comment almost every hour. It was probably my 15 seconds of fame. Only if each second, I wish, could last a lifetime!

Once the first set of people were done with their response, the frequency dropped drastically, the way a ball plunges down a tall tower perched on a high hill.

Next lot of people to write in were strangers, casual readers who had picked the book after they were exposed to all the noise that I made on the Internet. Remained absent was feedback from friends and family.

Now, almost 15 days after the book became available to the world, the feedback I get is now few and far between. And all of it is from people that I did not know of before I wrote the book. Thankfully a disproportionately large proportion talks about the book in good light. There are a few things that I've been told to work on. And I am working on those as I work on my next book. More on it later.

So, if you are reading this, I urge you, implore you, beg you, on my feet and with folded hands to please share your feedback with me. Postive, negative, ugly, good, excellent, pathetic. You may choose any word to express your opinion on the book. I promise I will neither fly away to the cloud 9 (or cloud 7 or whatever) nor hurl myself into the abyss of depression. Your feedback would only help me get better.

Please. If you have read The Nidhi Kapoor Story, please do share what you think of it. Like these 20 people who have taken the pains of letting the world know what they think of #tnks. Apart from these 20, there have been people who think that that book is a piece of shit and they've stopped talking to me! That's ok. I loved the fact that it could provoke such strong reactions.

As long as there is a reaction, all's well. But a reaction guys. Please. Life doesn't work like that. We are after all social animals and we ought to communicate. We response to stimuli. Remember Biology 101? Hope this is a sharp enough bite in the arm to wake up from your slumber and make you share your feedback with me.

Oh, and the guys at DOSA, I am not sure what happened to them, its after all been ten odd years since I've seen them. Get the point?

No? Damn!

The Story of The Nidhi Kapoor Story

A friend who wanted to quit to write and didn't have the balls to do so asked me about how I went about it. I told her that I didn't think a lot and just did it. She was insistent that I write a story. This is an edited version of the email I sent her sometime in Sep of this year. I think this post is relevant to other authors that I've made a commitment to on Catapooolt. Thus posting it. 

The Car Ride in August 2013
"Are you out of your mind? You want to leave a job that takes you all over the world and pays you for it? How many people are that lucky?" Vivek said when we took that turn towards Lonavala. If we didn't take that turn, we would have continued on the Mumbai-Expressway towards Pune.

"I've had enough of travel. And I think it's the right time. You know that I've always wanted to write a book! And if I am lucky, let me ride my luck and try and write a book. Worst case, Suvi will hire me back. He's promised me as much." When I quit Gravity, I had asked my boss, Suvi if he'd hire me back in case the book doesn't happen.

"Whatever man. Just know that you are not young any more and you ought to leave these frivolous things behind," said Vivek. He continued to drive at a steady 40, both of us enjoying the crisp air of the night shrouding us.

I could see that he was concerned about me. Unlike him; he is as emotionless as a rock. I however was optimistic about the time to come. Unlike me; I am not the kinds to think about tomorrow.

I said, "Que sera sera. Whatever has to happen, will happen. Right now I've gotta go pee. Just stop the car please."

He parked on the side of the road. Before I could step out, he said, "you better fucking finish that book or I'd kill you!" 


Sep 2014
The conversation above happened sometime in August last year and it's almost the end of September of 2014. I am still alive. That means that I must be done with my book! Update. Yes I am. Its on www.tnks.in. It took threats from friends like Vivek, encouragement from people like Rana Sir, coaxing from #sgMS and infinite support from my sis and my parents to be able to get the book done.

It's been about 15 months since I've quit and I've exhausted my life's savings (I had cashed all my savings to be able to afford to live in Mumbai).

The good bit is that the book is now out. The great bit is that I enjoyed my freedom as a full-time writer and a part-time contractual marketing guy. And the sad bit is that I will have to join a naukri in a couple of days (Update: It's Nov and been working for almost a month now).

So the challenges I faced, the mistake I made and the lessons I learnt while writing the book are listed below.

Challenges I faced.

• Life away from home. I may not be that attached to my folks but I miss having my family around me. They remain the biggest source of inspiration, support, comfort and all that makes me what I am. I hate to be naked about these things but I miss them. I could've done better if I was home. But I had to be in Mumbai for other reasons. 
• Comfort Place. I need a perfect setting to be able to write. The right chair, the right table, the right temperature on AC, so on and so forth. And while I was working on #tnks, I often had to contend without one or more of these things. Starbucks came closet but I can't sit there forever.
• Loneliness. The dreamers are often alone. I think its because its hard to sell your dream to someone else. It often got lonely. I have tons of friends but they've got priorities. Thankfully, a lot of strangers were very kind towards to me while I was working on the book. More on this soon.
• Money. Money makes our world go around. I did not have enough of it. Actually, no one ever has enough of it. So there were times when I had to not do things that I would want to, to save money. And for someone like me, who's been lucky to not see bad days (in terms of money) it was a huge huge challenge. 
• Self-doubt. I must have asked this myself a thousand times. That why would someone want to read what I write. I still don't have an answer. And I don't think answers are coming anytime soon. 

Mistakes I made.

• Took a part-time job that ate a lot of time. Thankfully, I was fired from it. But then the flip side is that I had to take up another full-time job that virtually leaves me with no time at all. Money, like I said, makes the world go around. Sucks to be a slave.
• Took all advice on face value. Just because something worked for someone else, doesn't mean that they would work for me as well. I took suggestions and instead of helping me, they acted as deterrents. Of course the ones helping were doing it with good intentions. And that means that none of this may work for you. So, rather than blindly taking up advice, please please see if it makes sense for you. 
• More. There must be more mistakes that I would've made. Like most other self-obsessed people, I may not be able to recall all the mistakes here :)

Lessons I learnt.

• Write everyday. If there is one lesson I've learnt, it is that I ought to write everyday. It's like a muscle. If you dont flex it everyday, if you dont practise it everyday, it will rust. In fact I remember this line - "karat karat abhyaas te, jadmati hot sujan" from when I was a kid. All these years hence I am reminded of the lines! 
• Leap of Faith. It’s ok to take leaps of faith. When I quit, I had plans of living off my savings. I did that. And before I could really dip into my savings, I got an opportunity to work part-time for someone who paid me enough to take care of my rent. Everytime I was in a soup, some solution came my way!
• The world is far nicer than I though it was. When I quit, I heard of grim stories of how the world has wronged people. Plus, I have always been a huge cynic. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the kindness of strangers towards me. People came forward to help me, support me and even give their time and money to me. 
• Assume that the world will ridicule you. I have another line. From I don't know who, "Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." I learnt that no one will ever understand why I crave so much to write. They may not, I am not answerable to anyone. The world ridiculed me, laughed at me. It was tough to stay strong. I tried. I failed. I am learning. 
• A life of poverty. Lately I have been trying to figure out if I can make a career out of writing. My language is not really perfect and my vocabulary is limited. But what the heck, I'd try. So, I've been meeting writers and hustlers. And everyone has told me that it's a long long long road and it's full of poverty and rejection and dejection. I am not ready for this one yet. But I will someday make an exception. 

Finally, I totally believe in the concept of paying it forward. I am going to do the same. I am willing to help other first-time authors discover the magic of writing a book. Trust me guys, there is nothing as pleasurable as seeing your name in print. Especially when you’ve been cherishing the dream for almost 10 years. 

Please write into me and I would love to help in anyway possible. Ofcourse if you believe in my story and you really want to help me, please consider helping me in my fundraising attempt with Catapooolt. 

I may not be the best writer around but I know how to get a book out. I am going to get 5 books out by 2020. Just wait and watch. 

Thank You. 

Saurabh Garg 

30 Sep 2014 22 Nov 2014

The Life Triangle

Source: Unknown

Apologies for the rant last night. I was probably intoxicated by my inability to get things done and my thoughts were paralyzed by my financial condition.

Now that I have slept over it, it sounds like a trifling thing.

Actually to be honest, it's not trivial at all. It is important. It's one life. We live only once. And we better live it with peace, happiness and with friends and family while we are at it. What else is the purpose of life?

So, from where I stand, I think of life in three variables. Money, Health and Writing. Health is a larger theme encompassing physical, mental and emotional health. And of course, on top of these three are things like family, friends, relationships and other such things that make us human.

Let me talk about each now. Start with writing. Writing gives me pleasure. Though I am not sure if it can pay my bills. It can't. Not right now. May be sometime in future.

Money is what makes the world go around. To be able to do nothing but write, to live in the mountains, to travel the world, to buy those gadgets, that car, it takes money. And apart from me, everyone seems to be making enough and more of it.

Health is probably the most important of the three. If I not in the pink of my health, I cant enjoy the orgasm that I get from writing, I cant ride that bike that I would've bought from all the access money I would have and I definitely would not be able to enjoy the mountains and beauty around it.

So I need to juggle these three tough balls (of money, heath and writing), while walking on a tight rope that is stretched on the poles of relationships, friends, family and other emotions.

I can't fall down for sure. And I don't want to drop these balls either. It's like being on the guard all the time. It's like being that circus artist that has a million eyes watching him; and he has to perform, even if he is unhappy or unwell or bored or something. There is no way he can let his guard down. There is no way he can not perform. And worse part, you he can't even say that he's bored or tired or unhappy.

Damn life!

There was a time when I thought I could manage all three and get things done. I did it for a few days. But I guess I was wrong.

I can't manage all three. Leave three, I am having tough time figuring just one of the three out.

How do you guys do it?

I give up!

I give up. I can't do it. I can't. And I hate myself for it. I just don't have the time to do it. Or may be I don't think its important enough for me to do it. Or may be I don't have the balls or perseverance to do anything. Or may be I am loser. Or may be, I am a quitter. Isn't that why sgMS left me?

Irrespective. I can't do it. I am a loser.

Second year running, despite all the effort, intent and determination, I have failed to reduce my waist or my weight and I am going to lose a bet. Bet is not important. Important is that I can't do a shitty thing like losing weight. Especially when for a large part of the year I had nothing else to do. Fucking kept procrastinating. And here I am. Fat, old, unhealthy, lethargic all the time.

Of course now I have something to put the blame on. And yeah, that's what I am doing. Getting off easy by putting the blame on someone else. I am not owning upto my shit. I am merely putting the blame on someone else. My job. It keeps me busy and so I don't have any time to do anything. Guess this is what they mean when they say that it's tough to juggle a day job and a hobby on the sides. Hate the fact that I have to slog the entire day, sitting behind a desk to be able to make ends meet. Hate that I've given the control of my life to someone else, willingly, so easily. Guess this is what that Apple TVC from 1984 spoke of?

The world, is fucking unfair. Life, unfairer than that. I refuse to play thy game. I want out.

Really do.

Book Review. God is a Gamer.

I recently read God is a Gamer. The latest by Ravi Subhramanian. Got the book as part of the book review program by Blogadda.com. 

Please note that this is NOT a paid a review. I do NOT make any money from this.

Before I launch in a full-blown review, let me get some numbers out of the way. I mean the ratings.

Readability: 3.5 on 5
Suspense: 3 on 5
Storyline / Plot: 3 on 5
Overall: 3.5 on 5

One line verdict
God is a Gamer is an attempt at writing a chase through myriad locations, characters and situations, all of it culminating in one destination. A pot-boiler for sure.

Full review
I read the book a few days back but never found the time to write a review. Here I am, on a Sunday morning. Trying to wrap my head about what I read a few days back. Whatever I write will come from my head and I would not have the advantage of flipping through the pages to write the review.

So, the plot is slightly difficult to talk about in few words. I'd still try. A few seemingly unrelated crimes happen in New York, Washington and Mumbai. In US, a high-ranking government servant / official is murdered and the great police departments, the FBI, the CIA and all other three-letter agencies can't seem to figure out the intent or MO. In Mumbai, a banker is killed and the police is forced to cast a net so wide that the Finance Minister himself becomes a suspect. Meanwhile in Mumbai, a BPO handling transactions for the large financial institutions in US gets hacked and it results in

At time the books reads like a corporate espionage, a political thriller, a murder mystery, a chase and of course, a love story! Love the way Ravi got all these themes together in one place! I wish I could do the same with my books!

Of course I could get into more details but then I would have to unravel the suspense. Nah, I won't do that. The book has to be read. It's definitely a one time read. And a racy one at that.

Coming to the good bits...

• Short chapters. Each chapter is about 2 slides of the page. Brilliant strategy. The book becomes a page turner. I think that's a new trend. Last book I reviewed, Private India was similar. 
• A brilliant way to teach the basics of financial industry, especially a peer to peer currency like Bitcoin. Reminds me of Goldratt's Goal. I think Ravi needs to look at that genre closely. Can he make the boring things like finance into interesting plots and stories like God is a Gamer? 

There were a few things that I did not like. I call them not-so-good bits...

• Too many characters for my liking. Unless the book is a Godfather that requires me to think of motives and actions of men (that are guided by long standing traditions rather than moments of insanity), I dont want to burden myself with too many characters or too many side plots. May be its Ravi's style. 
• The Bitcoin misnomer. The book has hardly anything to do with Bitcoin. Agreed that crimes happen because the Bitcoins are at the heart of the issue but again, I won't call it The Bitcoin Thriller. 
• Hollywood-ization. There are elements in the book that probably are best suited for a spy thriller (spoiler alert: hidden rings etc) based in the US of A. As an Indian reader, I just can not relate to these things. May be other evolved readers can. But I cant. So it could be my limitation, as compared to the book. You decide. 

That's it I guess in form of a review.

In the end 

Definitely a one-time read if nothing else. Do read it. At times the book is unputdownable. I could finish the book in two sittings. That's it. 

Thanks!
SG

Notes

1. This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!

2. Since I am an author as well now, I take these reviews even more seriously.

3. If you want to review my first book, The Nidhi Kapoor Story, please write into me (or leave a comment) and I would be in touch.

To pay or not to pay...

"Influencer" marketing

Continuing from where I left on Tuesday (the rant about book marketing), I have a few decisions to make. And I cant seem to arrive at em. Let me first put forth the questions. And then I'd talk about my thoughts on those.

a. Some very popular book review blogs, websites, e-zines have agreed to cover my book (website, buy) and review it. Surprisingly most of them are asking for money. The money will apparently go towards "writing" the review, "promoting" the review (on their websites, Facebook and twitter) and creating imagery associated with. Though the brazenness with which they've asked for money, it looks like a norm in the industry rather am exception but I am not sure if I want to pay to get my book reviewed. Or may be I ought to pay because I have to market the book somehow. So this is question number one.

b. Most of the publications that I've wrote into (begging to cover my book) haven't replied. Some have. And most of those "some" have huge ego issues. The emails are snooty, arrogant and full of words that I can't even comprehend. Some dont even understand the context and market for books. It was surprising to know that such ignorant people run these successful websites. The question thus is, is it worth talking to such people? Agreed that they would help market the book. But do I tolerate them? And why is that I am the only one seeing such attitude? What about my other writer friends / contacts? They don't seem to be fazed by any of it!

c. Where do I draw a line between marketing, advertising, bribing, advertorials, editorials, product placements, interviews, debates? I know that boundaries are blurred. Who else will know this better than I (after all I work in the industry)? Am I willing to do this for my own product? All this while, I have never had issues paying people to talk about other people's products / services. Why is that I am having issues paying for mine?

d. Will I spoil my relationship with these "influencers"? After all I am in the market for the long haul. I am hoping to write one book every year. And I need all the help. Each of these people can tell me if I am a good writer or a bad one. They can help me improve the craft. They can connect me with others. So on and so forth. By refusing to work with these guys, am I sort of alienating these guys? Am I making enemies out of these guys? Will this come back to me in future, to haunt me?

So far, I dont have any answers. Since the book has started to ship, I need to now probably pull up my socks and get along with these influencers somehow. Would love to hear thoughts and opinions from other authors, writers. And if you read a lot of book, want to know what you think as well.

Thanks!
SG

The Marketing Madness

Dibert on Marketing

I have been up since 4. No kidding. I have data from Moves (which I love btw) to support the claim. I slept at around 10 yesterday and after whatever little fitful sleep I managed, I finally got up at 4.

Since then, I've walked for 30 mins, did 30 crunches (despite my hernia) and had a green tea (which makes me sick in the gut but people say it's supposed to help). And I made a poster for my upcoming book. And I sent out emails to 20 strangers, literally begging them to cover my book in their publications, send mails to random people asking them to share the book with others and so on and so forth. You get the drift.

That's how my day looks like these days. That's what I do these days. And I am a teetotaler. That makes alcohol out of bounds. Guessing, of course is what I do. The entire day!

So whatever morsels of time I can save during the day, I try and think who all could I be contacting about the promotion of the book. I then add those names to a list. And at the end of day, or early next day I send out emails, starting from the bottom of the list. Remember that FIFO principle?

And no points for guessing the response rate - which (or that?) remains dismally close to zero.

But...

but...

but... I understand this is all a tiny part of hustle. In a positive way. I am learning a lot of new things. The chief one being that it's ok to let the world judge you. All this while, in my entire life, I have not subjected myself to other people's opinions. Even then, if there were any opinions, I took them on the face value and ignored them. This time around I think I'd be affected. I know, I know. First book is just testing waters. It's not a big deal if people don't like. And other things like that.

I have these endless conversation with myself. Damn!

The other side, the flip side of the entire thing is that I literally get no time to do things that I want to do. This todo list includes poker, learning a new hobby, taking it easy, meeting people, more writing, travel. The list goes on. I have come to accept that I am a lost soul and I shall remain one. I just need to maximize my time. This marketing madness is not helping matters. Only thing I get to do these days, is talk about my book for a couple of hours every morning. And thats' about it!

And it sucks. S U C K S. Yeah, loud.

I am a fucking artist writer. And I am supposed to work on writing. On the craft. Not on the ancillary things like marketing. I know it's an important part of the craft. But these days, it has become the only part. Ant that's where my problem is! I wonder how to other writers manage this bit. May be they have money and they have large departments to churn out ideas for them? May be they don't need marketing. I mean if Stephan King came out with a book tomorrow, he'd just have to drop a tweet and rest shall take care of itself. Look at Chetan Bhagat. He could book a front-page ad in the most widely circulated daily of the country! How do they manage? How do other authors manage?

I have no fucking clue. And I hate wasting my limited time like this. I hate doing non-productive work. Hell, in my time I could choose to sleep but that's my decision. And I am not answerable to anyone. This marketing shit... damn. Oh, and come to think of it, I am a marketeer by training and profession. Irony!

Anyhow, in the entire episode, there are a couple of silver-linings to be happy about. A, the folks at Catapooolt have been a pleasure to work with. I can totally see myself recommending them to others. And B, I have made so many new friends. While the world at large remains hostile and friends (and acquaintances continued to desert me), I have been pleasantly surprised by the kindness that a few strangers have shown towards me. More about them in some other post, on a day when I am not feeling rotten about how I am spending my life.

Till then...

Wait a minute. Did you like the FB page yet? Did you buy the book yet? Did you tell your friends about it yet?

P.S.: That's crib # 2 in as many days. Note to self. Watch out!