Now that I have slept over it, it sounds like a trifling thing.
Actually to be honest, it's not trivial at all. It is important. It's one life. We live only once. And we better live it with peace, happiness and with friends and family while we are at it. What else is the purpose of life?
So, from where I stand, I think of life in three variables. Money, Health and Writing. Health is a larger theme encompassing physical, mental and emotional health. And of course, on top of these three are things like family, friends, relationships and other such things that make us human.
Let me talk about each now. Start with writing. Writing gives me pleasure. Though I am not sure if it can pay my bills. It can't. Not right now. May be sometime in future.
Money is what makes the world go around. To be able to do nothing but write, to live in the mountains, to travel the world, to buy those gadgets, that car, it takes money. And apart from me, everyone seems to be making enough and more of it.
Health is probably the most important of the three. If I not in the pink of my health, I cant enjoy the orgasm that I get from writing, I cant ride that bike that I would've bought from all the access money I would have and I definitely would not be able to enjoy the mountains and beauty around it.
So I need to juggle these three tough balls (of money, heath and writing), while walking on a tight rope that is stretched on the poles of relationships, friends, family and other emotions.
I can't fall down for sure. And I don't want to drop these balls either. It's like being on the guard all the time. It's like being that circus artist that has a million eyes watching him; and he has to perform, even if he is unhappy or unwell or bored or something. There is no way he can let his guard down. There is no way he can not perform. And worse part,
There was a time when I thought I could manage all three and get things done. I did it for a few days. But I guess I was wrong.
I can't manage all three. Leave three, I am having tough time figuring just one of the three out.
How do you guys do it?