Why I did what I did?

So why did I do what I did? Multiple reasons. Here are a few that come to my mind immediately.

I realized that I was writing for the world. I was hoping for appreciation and rave reviews post every blog post. I was trying to please an audience that I was hoping to get with my blog. I started expecting fanmail. I was refreshing my mailbox every minute. I was on the lookout for a literary agent already. I was losing myself.

Apart from that I was wasting a lot of time on cooking up stories/posts that would get me more hits and more readers. I was becoming a publicity whore. I would deliberately post things that people would search for. I wanted to be on the top page of digg and delicious. I wanted to be famous. And while I was doing all this, I was losing focus of the bigger picture. That I am supposed to be myself when I am writing. That I should be talking to friends rather than strangers. That I should be writing for the pleasure of writing rather than for fame.

With my blog in restricted mode, I know that every post counts. I know that I am talking to a select few. I am talking to friends. I know I will be talking about things that are important to me.

Hope the experiment works well. Hope I stick on. Hope I keep writing.

P.S.: Having said all this, I do want to meet new people. I do want to engage in debates and discussions with people that are better than I. I do want to be famous. Am sure, Inshallah, some day I shall cook up some other blog for that ;P