Next up on my bucket list is, H. Handle a Baby.
I am scared of babies. Yes, scared is the right word. I will goto all lengths to avoid touching a baby. Leave alone touch, I go long way to not even be in a room that has a baby in it. If I could have, Id get a restraining order against babies coming within a two KM radius of me. Anything to do with babies, I want out. I just cant handle the babies. For my life.
I know that at some point in time in life, I'd have to eventually learn how to handle babies. And I better do it sooner than later. I could argue that I could go without babies but I cant. More on it in a bit.
|The Meme Baby|
Since I have a large family with like a thousand cousins and thus tens of thousands of babies, I have had a harrowing time with em. I've been patient and I've tried every trick in the book to try and be civil with them but they dont give me an opportunity. I am like that cat that has touched the hot stove once and I refuse to touch another. In fact I have touched the stove a thousand times and I've burnt my hand every single time. So that's why no babies.
On a more serious note, the thing with babies is that they look so fragile. And I am such a giant. I am such a monster that I feel that if I even touch the babies, I'd hurt em. Its like if I touch em, Id put a dent in them. There I said it. The biggest issue I have with kids is that they are fragile. They are just beginning the journey and I am almost towards the end of it. And I cant hurt something that is just blossoming. I cant imagine doing it. Ever.
In fact, I am so sure about it that if you want to blackmail me, if you want to get a secret out of me, if you want me to squawk, all you need to do is throw a baby at me. And I'd submit.
Jokes apart, like I said, I really really need to master the art of handling babies. Because two of my favorite couples have babies due in less than a month. And I am better prepared before I go see their babies. Yes, I am talking about PD and Neo. And I promise, I'd learn. How to handle a baby.