Hope you are doing great. Wherever you are.
Hope you are happy and healthy. Hope you are in love and you're getting your fix of attention and affection. Hope you're doing great work that makes you happy and your friends proud.
You konw, to be honest, I dint mean to write in to you. I remember my promise of staying away. And I have stayed away for a large part. Even when I have needed you, even when I could do with your company, even when I knew that no one else but you can give me comfort. I've stayed away.
You know, I dont really have a reason to write to you. Just that I miss you terribly. I miss you so so much that I dont know what to do. It's stifling. It's suffocating. I can't breathe. I mean I can but it seems like a task. And there is no reason to make the effort. Who do I do all the things for? You are my reason babes. I want to make your proud. I want to make you happy. Without you, what would I do with things when I dont have you to shower those on?
I tried to not write this letter. I drugged myself and tried to sleep but I could not. I tried to drown myself in work but I could not deliver. I tried to divert attention on television, poker, readign but I just couldn't concentrate. I am human sgMS and this time it got better of me. I had to speak to you.
I sent you frantic messages, emails, calls and tried everything to reach you. And I realized that you have blocked me out. I know you dont have any hard feelings per se and you're doing this so that I drift away with time and I get used to living without you.
Of course your methods are flawed and this separation from you is making me crave for your company all the more. So much so that I am staring at the pics from good old times when we were together.
I really really want you around. I know repeating a word does not make it stronger or better. But there is no other way I know to express myself. I really want you around me. And I want to be around you. I just can't do without you. I know I am being selfish. And I know you hate selfish people. But I dont know what else to say. I dont want to lie to you. I want you and I want you bad.
Judge me if you will.
But, but... please please come back! I promise I try really hard to not disappoint you.