On drives!

Wrote this yesterday on my newsletter. Subscribe here. 

Hello!
I continue to fail. Sigh!
But I continue to not give up either. Yay!

That's' how the life of an artist typically is. At least mine is.
Lot of action. Lot of lulls.
Lot of work. Lot of waiting.
Lot of inspiration. Lot of dark periods.

So anyway. Coming back. A Saturday. How's it going for you guys? Yesterday, I slept at 8 PM and I thought I would wake up at 4 AM and get all the pending things done. But then I woke at 1:55. Then I woke up at 4:01 and finally at 7 ish. No, no remorse for sleeping in for 11 hours. I have this drive today (if it happens) where I would be up for some time.

Drives.

One of those things that I am a BIG BIG fan of. If I had all the money in the world, apart from playing poker and teaching, I would own a few good cars (and some bad ones as well) and spend a lot of time on the road. And no, I would not get attached to these cars (I am perfectly ok to drive the car to a far off destination, flying back to my place and then letting a driver bring the car back).

I have no clue what is it about the road and driving that I like. I think it is that feeling of escape from the routine that is so enticing. Maybe it is the chase of the unknown - you know, how us humans have always wanted to push boundaries and unravel the mysteries? Or maybe it is that feeling of control that you get when you are behind a steering wheel. You know, that fake sense of being in control that motivates all those dictators and egomaniacal people?

I think I will never know what it is about these drives. But I do know that these are getting increasingly rare. And because they are getting tougher and tougher to make, I am craving for them a lot more. To a point that I do not leave a single opportunity to go on these. Just that I hope it never reaches a point that because of all the craving, I just give up on em. You know what I am saying?

See, that's the thing with most cravings. They follow a graph.
You experience a new thing.
You get excited about it.
Then you want it more.
You get a lot of it.
You get used to it.
And then when you stop getting it, you get withdrawal symptoms.
And then you do whatever it takes to get that kick.
And then after a point, you can no longer afford to do whatever.
And then either you kill yourself. Or you give up.

In my case, I give up on things. And on people. And on situations. And wants. Probably explains why I am the way I am. Ok enough of revealing my dark sides.

So, the drive is what I am looking forward to this weekend. What about you? What is it that you are working on that is not letting you sleep?

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