This is a long rant on my inability to get a half-decent Internet connection. Read at peril and with caution. Lots of cuss words.
Context
So, ladies and gents, as you may know, I am a computer-science graduate. I run an events agency and a digital marketing business. All my life's content is on a cloud storage. I use a iPhone as comfortably as a fashion model handles those stilettos on a ramp. I live at a pretty affluent neighbourhood in Mumbai in an even more affluent apartment complex (rented, shared and "semi-furnished"). I use Vodafone as a mobile-service provider, which is probably amongst the top 3 telcos in the world and is generally priced at a premium. My sis worked for Vodafone for 5 years. My ex-roommate continues to head one of the most important divisions there. A really good friend from MDI heads a product division there. So, I am pretty connected at Vodafone. I get access to a level of service that most others dont. And yet! I will come back to this.
The rant!
The place where I live, that locality is "owned" by this politician that controls everything happening around here. Might sound like bullshit in this day and age but he does. From the maids to shops around the building to servicemen to nariyal paani wala to brokers to the fucking Internet Service Provider, all are controlled by him. And since he controls the shit, he can actually choose who delivers what service to the complex. Including the ISP.
But I did not know this when I moved here. In fact when I moved, I had to choose between his ISP and MTNL (the state-owned-operated telco). The commonsensical man in me told me that MTNL is of no use and I must get the alternative. And I promptly did that. Little did I know that his ISP is probably the most fucked up I've ever experienced. Bad speed, unreliable service, unresponsive support staff that doesn't know an IP address from a MAC address (wait, do I know? I dont. But am I a service provider?).
So after a month or so, I moved to MTNL, which is another story in itself. I will not digress. When MTNL started giving me trouble, I started looking for alternatives. And this is when I realised his clout. Apparently if you want to operate in the complex as an ISP, you have to use said politicians' ISP as support network and of course they can hold you ransom. And no, I am not making this up. They did that to me. I was not allowed to get a new connection (from a different company) because I refused to pay for shoddy service.
Oh, the most established ones, the Airtels of the world do not provide internet because they dont have enough subscribers. Why? Because everyone else in the complex is using either the politicians' broadband or MTNL and no one seems to be bothered about it.
This is where I could have relied on Vodafone. I am happy paying for a service that I use. And I am super happy paying for Internet, well its the lifeline. But Vodafone is another story. I do not get coverage at my place. Apparently the floor I live at is very high for them to ensure connectivity. No, they do not know that these days planes that fly at 33000 feet or something have fast mobile connections and Internet. They just cant ensure connectivity on the 24th floor. So when am home, I am living in a cage - no Internet (because of what I said above), no mobile (because Vodafone cant put a booster for just one house, even though my ARPU is like 5000 bucks and on top my sis knows EXACTLY the guy who can make it happen).
And when I am out, couple of days ago, Vodafone decided that I have exhausted all mobile data (even though their official app shows that I have data left) and I am downgraded to 2G. And no, I cant buy more packs as the packs are already active on my connection. So, all in all, I am pretty handicapped right now. My work is suffering - no I am not giving bahanas - I am just lamenting.
As a result, here I am. On a day when we are celebrating our constitution. Forced to workout from a business that is American and yet has found a way to operate in India. Irony much?
Anyhow. So, while we usher in the cashless economy and digital India (which I totally support), I remain in the dark ages. And I realise that I will continue to do so till the time I become someone who can influence things around him. For starters, grow the balls to tell the politician to fix things. I cant even do that. I choose to remain a faceless blog on the Internet and do a fucking candle-light march of the blogosphere.
And if you are living in an illusion, no, we are not yet free. We are not yet republic. We are and we shall remain in the dark ages till we sort us the people who cede the power and control and respect to a handful few.
Because of all this, my work suffer -- I refuse to budge down and get a connection from the said person (and Vodafone can't help). I refuse to give him my business. I know that my 1500 bucks a month is not significant to the billionaire politician (who apparently owns 2 benami flats in the said complex). I in my head is making a change. I dont know if this change will impact anyone in the long run. The point is, I am without an Internet connection. And there is no solution. Even if I throw money at it. So yeah. Damn!!
Over n out.
Posted from a Starbucks outlet - because they have a ISP that actually works. And no, its not owned by a politician. And no, the ISP is not Vodafone India.
Filed under: Urban Poor, First World Problems, Internet, Vodafone, ISP, Rant
365 New Chances
After the brouhaha about the new year got over, something else has seemed to settled in. The feeling of being inadequate. In the normal course of things, feeling of inadequacy is a great thing. You feel you are not working per your potential. You want to do more. You actually do more. You shift up the level. At the new level, you are inadequate all over again. And then you strive harder. It becomes a loop. Till the day you die. And you have lived a life where you have continuously upgraded yourself. You've sort of become someone who is known to push boundaries.
For this feeling, I dont know who / what to put the blame on. The weather in Mumbai is colder than it has ever been. No, it doesnt effect me per se but I think its making me lazy and sleepy the entire day. Or is it that the change in diet -- that I have forced myself is -- taking away my energy levels? I mean I havent added anything new per se - just that I am eating less of what I was eating all this while. Or may be its my nose that is troubling me -- I have these polyps that dont allow me to breathe properly and I have to breathe through my mouth -- making it tough to eat, sleep or even talk at times. Or may be its that damn pining for that special someone that is making me restless. Am I ready for committing to one person? Am I over sgMS? Or, or am I about to die? After all those yogis and rishis and everyone like that could sense that when their time was up!
Back to this in a bit. The other thing is that lately, I've noticed that I tend to forget things. I used to be great with names, places, people, little tit-bits that no one else noticed. These days I cant seem to remember anything for my life. The other day VG sent me a picture from a trip that we had made some 10 years ago - I dont recall much about the ride but the memories of that trip are classified under "best trips of life." and yet I cant remember it! Names and places tend to muddle up in my head. I cant recall conversations that I have had with clients - I've never needed to take notes but lately I am relying on them more and more. Yesterday someone asked me DOB of my parents and I had to check the fucking calendar to recall the dates! I met sgMS the other day and she was asking about the last time we kissed and I had no memory of it.
Ive always been the brainy kinds, a good student (till I was in school), anal about attention to detail. I judge people on the basis of sloppiness that they show when they work. I rate colleagues on the basis of their intelligence and IQ. Well, I know its shallow of me and all that. An organized person to me is an epitome of someone who's out there to make a meaning. Without a brain, I am sorry, there is no meaning. I understand that some people may have got dealt a bad hand in the Ovarian Lottery and got no brains there but thats ok - they may exist where they are - I want to be around people who are lucky. Luck begets luck.
Side note. No wonder I cant be with sgMS. She hit a jackpot with the Ovarian Lottery and I was barred from even buying a ticket. The way I look, the way I dress, I get stopped by guards even at the place where I live!
Coming back. This loss of memory or whatever it is has made me realize the plight of old people. for no fault of their own, they are suddenly invalids, not required. And that's not a cool thing. And age is anyway something that I loathe. I remain committed that the day I need someone to help me get on my feet, I will kill myself.
Zooming out. I dont know if all these (general drowsiness during the day, the nasal polyp, the longing for love, the feeling of inadequacy and the malfunctioning brain) point to something larger. Or I am making a mountain of a mole. The point is, there is no reasons for my dreariness and I cant pin point. I may claim to be a creative individual, I am for sure a Type A person. I want to know the reasons and I want to identify the causes. I want bloody answers for the general dissatisfaction. Or whatever it is. Ennui? Weltschmerz? I will never know!
But...
But like all clouds, this one has a silver lining. A few things are working out in the year. I have made a few changes in how I live. Here's a list.
Also, yesterday two super cool things happened.
A, I stumbled on this post by Nike where they had put this image up. It couldn't have come at a more opportune time. I am trying to make 2017 great. I am doing things that I haven't done ever. I may be a Tony Robbins deep down but I do need motivation once in a while and this one was just right. Plus I am reading finished reading Phil Knight's book on how he build Nike. It is so inspiring that I want to do it. I want to be Phil Knight. I want to create my Nike. Ok, lemme not digress. The book is so amazing that I wrote an entire blogpost on it. Will repub is here eventually.
Coming back. The point is that the new year greeting by Nike is spot on! Its a new year. It has 12 chapters. It's gonna give me, us, 365 opportunities. To make the year count. And we better make it count.
B. A friend of mine who I believe is a living testimony of all the 7 vices -- his biggest one being sloth -- said something strange.
Lemme give context. I was talking to him about acid and how I ought to try it (read this for "inspiration") to find mypeak optimal performance levels. Normally, I would expect him to support me with such things. Afterall he is the biggest advocate of a life lived well and he is the epitome of hedonism (I couldnt recall the exact word and I had to come back before I write this; ref my memory loss). This guy, probably the most intelligent and most well-read of all my friends, few years ago, one fine day he decides that he doesn't want to work and he quit everything - his job, his family, his social circle. And then he tried all sorts of things - drugs, alcohol, women - think of a vice and he had tried it. He did it to the extreme that everyone, sort of, lost hope. I expected him to be sympathetic to my "cause" and help me score.
But no. Nada! He said something else altogether. He said something like, rather than these psychedelics drugs, focus on eating right, exercise and meditation.
I was shocked! I mean wow! Here's a man who most people around me consider lost, often I considered lost is talking sense the way sane people do! He then spoke of how he's back (he's one of the most talented people I know of) and he's trying to build his life back. He gave me hope. He gave me that ray of sunshine that winters in Mumbai needed. Lol. Winters in Mumbai. May be, clouds in my head. Or the Vitamin D deficiency - after all, I hate the sun!
So, if I dont try to go on the trip, I must thank or blame him (whatever may be the case). The blog is a testimony.
That's it for the time being.
After this long ranty post, here are two takeaways from me.
And most importantly, now that you've gone through the ordeal of reading these 1000 or so words, you know all about taking chances and all that. How many will YOU take up?
For this feeling, I dont know who / what to put the blame on. The weather in Mumbai is colder than it has ever been. No, it doesnt effect me per se but I think its making me lazy and sleepy the entire day. Or is it that the change in diet -- that I have forced myself is -- taking away my energy levels? I mean I havent added anything new per se - just that I am eating less of what I was eating all this while. Or may be its my nose that is troubling me -- I have these polyps that dont allow me to breathe properly and I have to breathe through my mouth -- making it tough to eat, sleep or even talk at times. Or may be its that damn pining for that special someone that is making me restless. Am I ready for committing to one person? Am I over sgMS? Or, or am I about to die? After all those yogis and rishis and everyone like that could sense that when their time was up!
Back to this in a bit. The other thing is that lately, I've noticed that I tend to forget things. I used to be great with names, places, people, little tit-bits that no one else noticed. These days I cant seem to remember anything for my life. The other day VG sent me a picture from a trip that we had made some 10 years ago - I dont recall much about the ride but the memories of that trip are classified under "best trips of life." and yet I cant remember it! Names and places tend to muddle up in my head. I cant recall conversations that I have had with clients - I've never needed to take notes but lately I am relying on them more and more. Yesterday someone asked me DOB of my parents and I had to check the fucking calendar to recall the dates! I met sgMS the other day and she was asking about the last time we kissed and I had no memory of it.
Ive always been the brainy kinds, a good student (till I was in school), anal about attention to detail. I judge people on the basis of sloppiness that they show when they work. I rate colleagues on the basis of their intelligence and IQ. Well, I know its shallow of me and all that. An organized person to me is an epitome of someone who's out there to make a meaning. Without a brain, I am sorry, there is no meaning. I understand that some people may have got dealt a bad hand in the Ovarian Lottery and got no brains there but thats ok - they may exist where they are - I want to be around people who are lucky. Luck begets luck.
Side note. No wonder I cant be with sgMS. She hit a jackpot with the Ovarian Lottery and I was barred from even buying a ticket. The way I look, the way I dress, I get stopped by guards even at the place where I live!
Coming back. This loss of memory or whatever it is has made me realize the plight of old people. for no fault of their own, they are suddenly invalids, not required. And that's not a cool thing. And age is anyway something that I loathe. I remain committed that the day I need someone to help me get on my feet, I will kill myself.
Zooming out. I dont know if all these (general drowsiness during the day, the nasal polyp, the longing for love, the feeling of inadequacy and the malfunctioning brain) point to something larger. Or I am making a mountain of a mole. The point is, there is no reasons for my dreariness and I cant pin point. I may claim to be a creative individual, I am for sure a Type A person. I want to know the reasons and I want to identify the causes. I want bloody answers for the general dissatisfaction. Or whatever it is. Ennui? Weltschmerz? I will never know!
But...
But like all clouds, this one has a silver lining. A few things are working out in the year. I have made a few changes in how I live. Here's a list.
- I am playing pool regularly (regularly is defined as 3 hours a week; a couple of years ago, it was poker). I remain committed to plan an Am tourney this year.
- I now have a great guitar tutor that comes once in two weeks.
- I started work on Book2. I will get it publishing-ready this year.
- I am committed to getting in shape by end of this year. Will be 32" on 31 Dec 2017. And I know I am supposed to climb the Everest by 2025.
Longer list of things for 2017 is here.
Also, yesterday two super cool things happened.
A, I stumbled on this post by Nike where they had put this image up. It couldn't have come at a more opportune time. I am trying to make 2017 great. I am doing things that I haven't done ever. I may be a Tony Robbins deep down but I do need motivation once in a while and this one was just right. Plus I am Coming back. The point is that the new year greeting by Nike is spot on! Its a new year. It has 12 chapters. It's gonna give me, us, 365 opportunities. To make the year count. And we better make it count.
B. A friend of mine who I believe is a living testimony of all the 7 vices -- his biggest one being sloth -- said something strange.
Lemme give context. I was talking to him about acid and how I ought to try it (read this for "inspiration") to find my
But no. Nada! He said something else altogether. He said something like, rather than these psychedelics drugs, focus on eating right, exercise and meditation.
I was shocked! I mean wow! Here's a man who most people around me consider lost, often I considered lost is talking sense the way sane people do! He then spoke of how he's back (he's one of the most talented people I know of) and he's trying to build his life back. He gave me hope. He gave me that ray of sunshine that winters in Mumbai needed. Lol. Winters in Mumbai. May be, clouds in my head. Or the Vitamin D deficiency - after all, I hate the sun!
So, if I dont try to go on the trip, I must thank or blame him (whatever may be the case). The blog is a testimony.
That's it for the time being.
After this long ranty post, here are two takeaways from me.
- A. Pick up some tools, games, puzzles that help me work on my brain. Give it some exercise. Its a muscle after all. Or is it not?
- B. Like Nike said, I have 365 chances this year. 15 are gone (not really, I did work on those days). I have 350 more. How many will I take up?
And most importantly, now that you've gone through the ordeal of reading these 1000 or so words, you know all about taking chances and all that. How many will YOU take up?
#in2017, I will
#in2017, I will do the following. In no order,
[Work]
[Personal]
[Writing]
[Misc]
Dont know what categories to put this in. These are good to have, not MUST have. And this implies, others are MUST have.
[Moon Shots]
P.S. Apart from this tangible goals, I sent this letter to a few friends, colleagues and mentors. May be you will find this useful. In the letter I talk about 7 things that could help life get better. They are making the most of time we have left, finding the muse, reading, paying it forward, living a mindful life, getting a goal and start saying thank you. Most of my goals echo these 7 themes and I will keep reiterating these as I go along!
P.P.S.: #note2self, I must do a hits and misses post. Like I did in 2016.
[Work]
- Make C4E amongst the best live entertainment businesses in the country. And subsequently, in the world. More about C4E is at https://medium.com/c4-entertainment.
- Evolve AWSL into a brand consulting business. The website is not up yet but will be.
- Create a third revenue stream. When I say third, the first two are C4E and AWSL. In that order.
[Health]
- Be 32" in girth. I am 36" as we speak.
- Finish a half marathon.
Get back to drinking Diet Coke. Last I had a coke was in 2015. I wrote about it here.Update. I had 3 today itself.- Compete in an amateur pool tournament. Right now, I don't even know if we have Am tourneys in India. Know of some? Point me to them.
- Final table a poker tourney that has more than 50 entrants.
- Create a piece of public art. As of now, it looks like a coffee table book with Jayati. May or may not happen.
Get a third passport booklet. There are 7 pages left in the second booklet. And there is one trip planned so far. Need to do 6 more.Got it in Sep.- Buy a car.
[Writing]
- Complete #book2 and get it ready for publishing.
- Make onWriting.in a key player in the Indian publishing business.
[Misc]
Dont know what categories to put this in. These are good to have, not MUST have. And this implies, others are MUST have.
- Attend a 10-day Vipassana session (I did one way back in 2009)
- Teach
- Fall in love
[Moon Shots]
- Work towards The Everest.
- Find out ways to impact a billion lives.
- Get to Rs. 1 crore in bank. Its still not a million but its almost 1/6th of that. A start. As of today, I have Rs. 11,942.73. Thats like 100x.
- Read 50 books. The list of books I want to read is here. Tell me the ones I must read. Preferably non-fiction.
- Make tunnels ;P
Thats all. Look a lot but it aint not too much if I remain focused. 'If' is the key operative here.
You know a funny thing? The list looks ALMOST similar to the one I had made in 2015. So, in two years, I havent changed. Or grown up. Damn, Mr. Garg! Just that this time, with age, I seemed to have mellowed down. Most of these goals look realistic now. Except the moonshots. But thats what moonshots are for. No?
And for the record, here are similar posts from 2014, 2013 and 2012.
And for the record, here are similar posts from 2014, 2013 and 2012.
What are your goals? Do you have a list? Share it with me? Lets work together and make this the best years of our lives?
Saurabh Garg
1 Jan 2017
Mumbai
P.S. Apart from this tangible goals, I sent this letter to a few friends, colleagues and mentors. May be you will find this useful. In the letter I talk about 7 things that could help life get better. They are making the most of time we have left, finding the muse, reading, paying it forward, living a mindful life, getting a goal and start saying thank you. Most of my goals echo these 7 themes and I will keep reiterating these as I go along!
P.P.S.: #note2self, I must do a hits and misses post. Like I did in 2016.
Untitled. Rant. Crib.
Alert: Read at your own peril.
I am going to rant. And rant hard. For I dont know what else to do. I think I am feeling weltschmerz (is that the correct usage? Or is it "suffering from"? I dont even know and you know who taught me about the word? Uday freakin Chopra! And read this article while you are at it). Or may be I am senile - after all I am old enough. I could be frustrated out of my wits. I could be a sore loser. I could be whoever. I have to speak my mind. I dont have a mountain where I could climb atop and scream my lungs out. I wish I had one. Or even an echo chamber. Nah. Or am empty room on the top of a high-rise. Nada.
But, I do have this blog. So here I am.
Rant. In no order.
People who cant work
At work, I try and juggle multiple balls and as a result I meet a lot of people. Most are ok - they do what is expected from them. Some are great at what they do. And some, they just suck. They suck at how they work. May be they are not capable. May be they are capable but are lazy. May be they dont see the big picture. May be there is no pride in being who they are. May be they are amazing and I suck. May be the two of us cant work together. The fault is in the damned stars. So, if the stars are not aligned, may be I need to find a way to steer away from them. Especially as I gear up for 2017.
I know I am being judgmental. I know I am not great at a lot of things I do. But then I try hard, I push myself. I show the intent of working. I try and I fail. But I do not give bloody excuses. Need to make things happen. Need to ship. No more slacking. No more working with people who are lazy. Not any more.
Egos bigger than the freaking Shivaji statue!
Again at work, I meet people who [in their heads] are larger than life and love to play the blame game. They pass on the buck like those footballers dribble towards a goal. But unlike getting to a goalpost, the shit just gets pushed around in the middle with no end in sight.
What I need is people who ship (like Steve kept saying all his life). People who take ownership and are not scared of taking action. I want to err on the side of action. I am ok losing money, reputation but I want to move forward. Not get stalled.
Traffic in Mumbai
[This is where I rant on non-work things. Phew.]
Traffic in Mumbai has been written about almost everyone - including those who haven't even been here. To be honest, it was actually bearable for a large part. Lately, for some reason, you cant reach from point A to B without getting jacked. I suspect this is because of the construction of Metro. I could be wrong though. Irrespective, I need to find a solution. I cant be stuck in traffic as life passes by me. I mean I am 34. I am mediocre. And yet arrogant. I am poor and yet my head is up my ass so high that I cant see shit. I need to... [look how I started talking of traffic and I am talking about myself. If this is not signs of a disease, what is this?]
Coming back. I need to find a solution to the traffic problem. My work (and hustle) requires me to be on the go all the time and meet people. So traffic is inevitable. I just need to find a way to be able to manage all this and yet grow.
Pool
I recently picked up the cue after ages. I was never a great player but I've always enjoyed being on the table. In fact I love everything competitive. I like when there are goals and I can practise towards them. [This is way different from how I was earlier - where I would want to be left alone and I would want to do things at my pace. Now, I want a measurable targets and the ability and freedom to choose how I work on those]
So, last couple of weeks, I have played almost every day for 30 minutes. Thats a lot of practise for a recreational player. Enough to do well at the table. But I am stuck. I cant seem to hit a straight shot. I dont know how to bank. I've never been able to pull a ball back after you hit a shot. And I am someone who loves the game. WTF is this!
And while I am at it, my other forms of recreation - poker, drives and writing - have seemed to dried up in last few months. I need to get back to em somehow.
Health
Last few days I have some close shaves. There are bruises, cuts, inflammations, pain and dont know what all.
So yeah. The rant. I think I need a break. From the world. From work. From friends. From family. From damned myself. I need to be away and go without a computer. Or a phone. I justwant need to go somewhere cold, sleep for hours under a blanket, chase simple pleasures of life - walking, small-talk, tea, coffee etc. And the way things are stacked, I am at least a year away from that. I actually may get to go away for 4 days between the 5th and 9th of Jan. Yay!
But then 2016 has been a great year for me. I need to may be let this momentarily lapse in confidence go past me. Thing is, the holiday season could not cheer me up. And the other things that make me happy - travel, money, time, sgMS, I am not getting any of those. So, I dont know what to do and how to be happy. Someone said it perfectly on twitter: "My aalloo parantha is half burnt and thus I cant wait for 2016 to get over." Well, I don't have no aaloo parantha but I cant wait to start 2017.
Over n out.
P.S.: This is the 50th post of the year. Well done, considering how busy I was. #in2017, I promise to write about 100 posts. I know it sucks to focus on quantity but then I am not a wonder kid and I need to do a lot of work to be able to get one tiny thing that is out of the world. Wish me luck.
P.P.S.: Now that I have written this, I think the reason for the gloom is that a lot of small things have piled up, have been piling up for some time and they just came crashing onto me at the same time.
P.P.P.S.: As I write this, iTunes played Neil Young. Now I know what feeling the blues is. Universe, as SRK said, conspires!
I am going to rant. And rant hard. For I dont know what else to do. I think I am feeling weltschmerz (is that the correct usage? Or is it "suffering from"? I dont even know and you know who taught me about the word? Uday freakin Chopra! And read this article while you are at it). Or may be I am senile - after all I am old enough. I could be frustrated out of my wits. I could be a sore loser. I could be whoever. I have to speak my mind. I dont have a mountain where I could climb atop and scream my lungs out. I wish I had one. Or even an echo chamber. Nah. Or am empty room on the top of a high-rise. Nada.
But, I do have this blog. So here I am.
Rant. In no order.
People who cant work
At work, I try and juggle multiple balls and as a result I meet a lot of people. Most are ok - they do what is expected from them. Some are great at what they do. And some, they just suck. They suck at how they work. May be they are not capable. May be they are capable but are lazy. May be they dont see the big picture. May be there is no pride in being who they are. May be they are amazing and I suck. May be the two of us cant work together. The fault is in the damned stars. So, if the stars are not aligned, may be I need to find a way to steer away from them. Especially as I gear up for 2017.
I know I am being judgmental. I know I am not great at a lot of things I do. But then I try hard, I push myself. I show the intent of working. I try and I fail. But I do not give bloody excuses. Need to make things happen. Need to ship. No more slacking. No more working with people who are lazy. Not any more.
Egos bigger than the freaking Shivaji statue!
Again at work, I meet people who [in their heads] are larger than life and love to play the blame game. They pass on the buck like those footballers dribble towards a goal. But unlike getting to a goalpost, the shit just gets pushed around in the middle with no end in sight.
What I need is people who ship (like Steve kept saying all his life). People who take ownership and are not scared of taking action. I want to err on the side of action. I am ok losing money, reputation but I want to move forward. Not get stalled.
Traffic in Mumbai
[This is where I rant on non-work things. Phew.]
Traffic in Mumbai has been written about almost everyone - including those who haven't even been here. To be honest, it was actually bearable for a large part. Lately, for some reason, you cant reach from point A to B without getting jacked. I suspect this is because of the construction of Metro. I could be wrong though. Irrespective, I need to find a solution. I cant be stuck in traffic as life passes by me. I mean I am 34. I am mediocre. And yet arrogant. I am poor and yet my head is up my ass so high that I cant see shit. I need to... [look how I started talking of traffic and I am talking about myself. If this is not signs of a disease, what is this?]
Coming back. I need to find a solution to the traffic problem. My work (and hustle) requires me to be on the go all the time and meet people. So traffic is inevitable. I just need to find a way to be able to manage all this and yet grow.
Pool
I recently picked up the cue after ages. I was never a great player but I've always enjoyed being on the table. In fact I love everything competitive. I like when there are goals and I can practise towards them. [This is way different from how I was earlier - where I would want to be left alone and I would want to do things at my pace. Now, I want a measurable targets and the ability and freedom to choose how I work on those]
So, last couple of weeks, I have played almost every day for 30 minutes. Thats a lot of practise for a recreational player. Enough to do well at the table. But I am stuck. I cant seem to hit a straight shot. I dont know how to bank. I've never been able to pull a ball back after you hit a shot. And I am someone who loves the game. WTF is this!
And while I am at it, my other forms of recreation - poker, drives and writing - have seemed to dried up in last few months. I need to get back to em somehow.
Health
Last few days I have some close shaves. There are bruises, cuts, inflammations, pain and dont know what all.
So yeah. The rant. I think I need a break. From the world. From work. From friends. From family. From damned myself. I need to be away and go without a computer. Or a phone. I just
Over n out.
P.S.: This is the 50th post of the year. Well done, considering how busy I was. #in2017, I promise to write about 100 posts. I know it sucks to focus on quantity but then I am not a wonder kid and I need to do a lot of work to be able to get one tiny thing that is out of the world. Wish me luck.
P.P.S.: Now that I have written this, I think the reason for the gloom is that a lot of small things have piled up, have been piling up for some time and they just came crashing onto me at the same time.
P.P.P.S.: As I write this, iTunes played Neil Young. Now I know what feeling the blues is. Universe, as SRK said, conspires!
Untitled - 8 Dec 2016
So last night, after a long day (where I did not do much to be honest - most of the time was spent in meetings) I was in this super ranty mood. Thankfully, I did not crib much and went to read after posting just one tweet.
For the context, over the last few days I have been putting in super long hours at work. And couple that with my sickness and stupid visits to the doctor at all hours, I am exhausted. So exhausted that there is this small voice in my head that is asking me to let go. It is telling me that I can put all the dreams on a side and go work for a regular company, draw a fat salary and then whatever time I have left after the enforced slavery, I invest that into things that I want to pick up - travel, poker, guitar, fitness, pool and so on and so forth. Impact, individuality, creativity, ego, meaning and everything that I have stood for could go to hell and burn. Burn till even the ashes are burnt. Without leaving a trace of the original Saurabh Garg. I mean how bad could it be to walk around in formal clothes all the time with an identity card dangling from the pocket of that boring shirt you are wearing, while walking to the nearest Starbucks with your colleagues, everyone faking laughter over inane jokes that you would otherwise cringe at? Plus little things will be taken care of - things like coffee machine, AC, stationary, credit cards, home loans. And then I am told you get to enforce your ego on people who report to you and then there is this promise of hunger games. Plus there is some travel once in a while to all those fancy places and the best part? You dont travel like a pauper - you are actually put in a nice hotel and you are not that budget traveller holding on to every rupee (thinking twice before buying that Frappuccino because you can use that money to buy the admission ticket to a museum), ogling at airline lounges with a longing that should be reserved for a lover and most importantly, spend time taking selfies rather than gathering experiences - after all those selfies will get likes on Facebook and make your colleagues jealous and become water-cooler conversations! No?
But then, there is this another voice in my head. Smaller than the one I that wants me to go wear that uniform. This voice tells me that I have a gift. From God, from Providence, from Universe, from that thing that controls all the shit that happens around us, from that random walk of atoms or may be from the randomness around us. The gift of education, a supportive family, an environment that allows me to think, an opinion and the balls and the ability to voice the opinion. Out of 7 billion of us, dont think more than a handful are like that. And its such a crime to not do so when you've won the ovarian lottery.
Thing is, work fills such a large part of life that it sucks to not make meaning with what I do. I just hope that someday all these 16-17 hour days that I am putting in, they count for something in the end. I dont know what is the end. And I dont know what I mean when I say I hope they count. May be its the money I'd make - to be able to buy a star. Or may be its the impact - that I can help impact a billion lives. And I dont know when that would happen. I just want to know that all this is not worthless. I am not a mere cog in the wheel. I am not insignificant. May be it will. May be it will not. I wish I could say I dont care. But I am human. With my ups and downs and last few days have been a string of downs. I need to see a freaking light. Come on, Universe, show me a sign. Please. Your favorite child is imploring!
The year gone by has been very tough and I have slogged really hard. Harder than I have worked in all my life put together. I have made mistakes and I am definitely better than what I was this time last year. They have to add up. They have to stand for something. And the funny thing is, I dont see that happening. May be it will. Hopefully sooner than later. And then, that day, I'd look back to this blogpost and laugh it away.
Some day. Inshallah.
Till then...
For the context, over the last few days I have been putting in super long hours at work. And couple that with my sickness and stupid visits to the doctor at all hours, I am exhausted. So exhausted that there is this small voice in my head that is asking me to let go. It is telling me that I can put all the dreams on a side and go work for a regular company, draw a fat salary and then whatever time I have left after the enforced slavery, I invest that into things that I want to pick up - travel, poker, guitar, fitness, pool and so on and so forth. Impact, individuality, creativity, ego, meaning and everything that I have stood for could go to hell and burn. Burn till even the ashes are burnt. Without leaving a trace of the original Saurabh Garg. I mean how bad could it be to walk around in formal clothes all the time with an identity card dangling from the pocket of that boring shirt you are wearing, while walking to the nearest Starbucks with your colleagues, everyone faking laughter over inane jokes that you would otherwise cringe at? Plus little things will be taken care of - things like coffee machine, AC, stationary, credit cards, home loans. And then I am told you get to enforce your ego on people who report to you and then there is this promise of hunger games. Plus there is some travel once in a while to all those fancy places and the best part? You dont travel like a pauper - you are actually put in a nice hotel and you are not that budget traveller holding on to every rupee (thinking twice before buying that Frappuccino because you can use that money to buy the admission ticket to a museum), ogling at airline lounges with a longing that should be reserved for a lover and most importantly, spend time taking selfies rather than gathering experiences - after all those selfies will get likes on Facebook and make your colleagues jealous and become water-cooler conversations! No?
But then, there is this another voice in my head. Smaller than the one I that wants me to go wear that uniform. This voice tells me that I have a gift. From God, from Providence, from Universe, from that thing that controls all the shit that happens around us, from that random walk of atoms or may be from the randomness around us. The gift of education, a supportive family, an environment that allows me to think, an opinion and the balls and the ability to voice the opinion. Out of 7 billion of us, dont think more than a handful are like that. And its such a crime to not do so when you've won the ovarian lottery.
Thing is, work fills such a large part of life that it sucks to not make meaning with what I do. I just hope that someday all these 16-17 hour days that I am putting in, they count for something in the end. I dont know what is the end. And I dont know what I mean when I say I hope they count. May be its the money I'd make - to be able to buy a star. Or may be its the impact - that I can help impact a billion lives. And I dont know when that would happen. I just want to know that all this is not worthless. I am not a mere cog in the wheel. I am not insignificant. May be it will. May be it will not. I wish I could say I dont care. But I am human. With my ups and downs and last few days have been a string of downs. I need to see a freaking light. Come on, Universe, show me a sign. Please. Your favorite child is imploring!
The year gone by has been very tough and I have slogged really hard. Harder than I have worked in all my life put together. I have made mistakes and I am definitely better than what I was this time last year. They have to add up. They have to stand for something. And the funny thing is, I dont see that happening. May be it will. Hopefully sooner than later. And then, that day, I'd look back to this blogpost and laugh it away.
Some day. Inshallah.
Till then...
The Fanboy Misunderstanding and other things
The Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu, J Jayalalita, passed away last night (or may be it was early morning - either way, I dont care). She was unwell for some time and good that her suffering has ended. I did not know much about her and I dont know if I want to know about her. Politics interest me but I am far from making it my profession and hence. Anyway, the point is not her death. The point is that I fail to understand what makes the common man get so fanatical about the fandom for a political / public figure that he's crying out loud and is ok to get down to rampage. I saw the same first hand when Balasaheb passed away. I heard of similar stories when Rama 9 went away. People were on fasts and all that when Amitabh Bachchan was injured while shooting for Coolie. I mean what makes people go that fanatic?
Me on the other hand, the guy that I have been the biggest fan of, Steve Jobs, when I heard he had died, I was sad. I actually had tears. But after a bit, I was ok. I did not want to destroy things. I took inspiration from his life and I decided to do more with mine. I was sad but then I was not that vocal about things. May be its me. May be I am broken. Whatever it is. I will not understand what makes people do things they do. May be I would never know.
Moving on. Next thing on my mind is reading. I spent a large part of the day reading and I loved it. Not a book but articles, news and other such things. I realised how much I loved reading. I had forgotten how it was to read. I have to start reading again. I am going to get hold of books and read them while commuting, while waiting and so on and so forth.
While staying on the topic, I need to start writing again. Everyday.
Thing is, I have to take back the control of my life. I can not be a slave to work. If I have to cut down on work, I will. So the things that I need to pick up are reading, writing, connecting with people, learning new hobbies, teaching and traveling.
Phew! Thats it for the time being.
P.S.: Not the best of "blog-post" but there is something out and that counts more than anything else. Onward and upward.
Me on the other hand, the guy that I have been the biggest fan of, Steve Jobs, when I heard he had died, I was sad. I actually had tears. But after a bit, I was ok. I did not want to destroy things. I took inspiration from his life and I decided to do more with mine. I was sad but then I was not that vocal about things. May be its me. May be I am broken. Whatever it is. I will not understand what makes people do things they do. May be I would never know.
Moving on. Next thing on my mind is reading. I spent a large part of the day reading and I loved it. Not a book but articles, news and other such things. I realised how much I loved reading. I had forgotten how it was to read. I have to start reading again. I am going to get hold of books and read them while commuting, while waiting and so on and so forth.
While staying on the topic, I need to start writing again. Everyday.
Thing is, I have to take back the control of my life. I can not be a slave to work. If I have to cut down on work, I will. So the things that I need to pick up are reading, writing, connecting with people, learning new hobbies, teaching and traveling.
Phew! Thats it for the time being.
P.S.: Not the best of "blog-post" but there is something out and that counts more than anything else. Onward and upward.
The Inquiry into (our) Immortality
Note: This is the second time when I am considering my morality. Last time, it was a Hernia. This time, I dont know yet - I still need to see a doc. May be by EOD today. Or tomorrow first thing.
So, something happened and I am worried that I am dying. Of course with each passing day I am walking a step toward to my death, but in the normal course of things, its not happening anytime soon. I think I have another 50 years or so, if all goes well. And if they find a solution to the ageing problem, who knows. What I meant by 'I am dying' is that I may have a disease that could expedite the process and I may not have those 50 years. Far less. Something like less than a year.
A week back I thought I was going to die. Despite my known aversion for doctors and hospitals, I went and went through the process. At the end of which the doc has still not been able to find out what caused it and if there would be a reoccurrence. But they've given me a clean chit of health.
While I am relieved, there were a few days when I thought my time has come. And all sort of thoughts clouded my head - good and bad. Motivating and depressing. There were questions on the reason of our existence. The future. The life after death. The non-stop wheel of life. The tick-tock. And...
Anyhow. The thing is I realised that the suspense hurts more than the actual outcome. Probably, the actual outcome hurts more. I wont know till I go. But if I knew, I could prepare for things. I could move on. Actually, come to think of it, this is a good time to plan for it.
So, hypothetically, assuming I have less than a year, what would I do? Here is a list, in no particular order.
A. I am little more on track - I still dont know what I want from life but I think I enjoy life on a day to day basis (including work, personal relationships, family etc). I have some savings. I have a vague plan. I have people who are helping me put those plan in motion. I have identified my purpose in life (which is to help others achieve their purpose - lol but I am serious). I have started taking some action. Brings me to the next point.
B. This time there is action. Unlike all my life where I have just planned, I am actually doing things. Rajesh is in a large part responsible for this. Agony aunt is for the other large part. sgMS remains a motivation. The point is, now there is action, I dont want to stop. I can not die without achieving what I am destined to. And if I do die before that, it would be a shame. On me and on Universe.
C. I believe I am more ready to give back. To impact. To pay it forward. Something that I have largely believed to be my life goal, my life purpose (read A as well). And now that I am so close to it, it would be a shame to go without doing it.
So yeah. This is it. Apologies for a not-so-happy post to start the day and the week. But its something that sooner we confront, better it is.
And in case you want to help me, point me to things that help me do A, B or C faster. Or better.
Thanks!
P.S.: I sincerely dont know if I am dying or if this is a mere hyperbole, I do believe that life is short.
P.P.S.: Why a blog? Because I dont know how else to confront it. I am too weak to talk about this seriously to someone I know. Does this tell me something about myself? May be.
P.P.P.S.: There are more times when I've thought of dying. While flying, while thinking about sgMS (I dont want to die ever when am with her). When Steve Jobs died. And lately I've been reading books by people who knew who were dying and they wrote memoirs - Paul Kalanithi, Randy Pausch, Eugene O Kelly. In fact last night I saw this video where it echoes my feelings about love. The point is, it is such a powerful thing that you realise the insignificance of it all. Everything that bothers you, has bothered you is of no freaking consequence!
A week back I thought I was going to die. Despite my known aversion for doctors and hospitals, I went and went through the process. At the end of which the doc has still not been able to find out what caused it and if there would be a reoccurrence. But they've given me a clean chit of health.
While I am relieved, there were a few days when I thought my time has come. And all sort of thoughts clouded my head - good and bad. Motivating and depressing. There were questions on the reason of our existence. The future. The life after death. The non-stop wheel of life. The tick-tock. And...
Anyhow. The thing is I realised that the suspense hurts more than the actual outcome. Probably, the actual outcome hurts more. I wont know till I go. But if I knew, I could prepare for things. I could move on. Actually, come to think of it, this is a good time to plan for it.
So, hypothetically, assuming I have less than a year, what would I do? Here is a list, in no particular order.
- Spend as much time with my family as possible. Of course you cant be just at home and while away time. I will have to find a vocation, some work that fills in large part of the time. What it essentially means is that I will not waste time in commute, long meetings and all such things.
- Try and make as much money as I can so that my family has it comfortable once I am gone. Of course not do things that make random people chase them.
- Say sorry to everyone who I my've rubbed the wrong way. While I try to not do it in the first place, I am sure there are people who'd have a bone to pick with me. I will fix those relationships.
- Work on my fitness. Well, funny as it may sound but till the last minute I dont want to be supported. This is the scariest and sorriest image I've ever seen (alert: open at your own risk).
- Write more. You could write all you want and it will always be less. I dont know why I love to write. I dont really have anything great to give back in terms of what I write. My writing style is super simple. What I write is not deep. My grammar is anyway limited. So, why write? I dont know. But I have to. May be, do it for the sake of doing it. Its about time I start working on it. Today.
- Clean my tracks. I am not sure how to go about doing this but I mean when I am gone, I dont want someone else to sort through my books, my drawers, my almirahs, my phone, my email and other "my" things and go through the agony and pain. May be this is why minimalism is such a revered way of life!
Thats about it. Come to think of it, it could be tomorrow. Or it could be a year. Or 50 years. Or 500. How about work on these things from today? Why not! So, may be, I will start those things. I am already on the way to some of those. I just need to expedite it! What about you? Do you have a plan? What if you had a year? Or less?
The sickness also made me dig my notes that I had made when I was unwell last time around. I did a quick comparison and found out that a lot has changed since then. I am actually a better person!
Here's how.
B. This time there is action. Unlike all my life where I have just planned, I am actually doing things. Rajesh is in a large part responsible for this. Agony aunt is for the other large part. sgMS remains a motivation. The point is, now there is action, I dont want to stop. I can not die without achieving what I am destined to. And if I do die before that, it would be a shame. On me and on Universe.
C. I believe I am more ready to give back. To impact. To pay it forward. Something that I have largely believed to be my life goal, my life purpose (read A as well). And now that I am so close to it, it would be a shame to go without doing it.
So yeah. This is it. Apologies for a not-so-happy post to start the day and the week. But its something that sooner we confront, better it is.
And in case you want to help me, point me to things that help me do A, B or C faster. Or better.
Thanks!
P.S.: I sincerely dont know if I am dying or if this is a mere hyperbole, I do believe that life is short.
P.P.S.: Why a blog? Because I dont know how else to confront it. I am too weak to talk about this seriously to someone I know. Does this tell me something about myself? May be.
P.P.P.S.: There are more times when I've thought of dying. While flying, while thinking about sgMS (I dont want to die ever when am with her). When Steve Jobs died. And lately I've been reading books by people who knew who were dying and they wrote memoirs - Paul Kalanithi, Randy Pausch, Eugene O Kelly. In fact last night I saw this video where it echoes my feelings about love. The point is, it is such a powerful thing that you realise the insignificance of it all. Everything that bothers you, has bothered you is of no freaking consequence!
The unbearable difficulty of being me!
The title is inspired by this book by Kundera. Do read in case you get an opportunity - its a fascinating read. The kinds that I would love to write some day. May be book 5 or 6. Dont know which one. Anyhow, coming back to the task at hand, it is NOT easy being me. There are multiple dimensions to it. But let me talk about one in particular - The way I dress up.
There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who love the way I dress. And the ones who hate the way I dress. The former is an exclusive club where I think the sum total of all members is about 1. The later, well, it unites everyone like no other religion has ever united men and women - they come together in their hatred for how I dress.
But of course I dont understand the malice. I mean, what's wrong in wearing a pair of red shorts and bright green tee? I dont know why a pair of shoes is such an important part of your attire that you cant enter an "exclusive" club without it. I still refuse to believe that I cant spend my entire life in a pair of shorts and a white cotton tee-shirt. I mean whats wrong about it? And what is this entire thing about judging people on the basis of clothes you wear? The other day the guard at my building told me that if he dint know me by face, he wont let me enter the housing complex. I mean, really? Am I my clothes? The way I dress up?
The other piece about my dressing up is that I do not spend a lot of money on clothes - I dont feel the need. I have exactly one pair of denims, 6-7 shirts and 6-7 tees. I wear the same pair of denims to work, to parties, to meetings, to market and to all such places where you expect a man to "dress us." I do not have jackets. I do have a formal pair of trousers, reserved for super special occasions like weddings of close friends etc. Last I wore it was a year back when Gandhi got married. And next time I am going to wear it is when another super close friend / relative gets married - even if its in 2020.
So, this past weak, the only pair of denims I have, it got torn. And since I cant wear a tattered pair of clothing to work (why not?), I had to buy one. And this is where the other part of difficulty of being me came up. I can NOT shop. I am ok dying, ok with public speaking, ok with a bungee jump, I am not frightened by the prospect of asking a girl out, but I cant shop. I cant goto store, try multiple options and then choose one and come back. Its a chore. Its an unnecessary evil.
The other hard part is that I cant outsource it to someone as because my body type is unique. I have short legs, big thighs and a heavy paunch. The fit thus is like piecing together a jigsaw. And there are like handful options, that many brands, that much patience. Yesterday, I did venture out to a mall and I did try 4-5 pairs. But none fit in and I could not buy. And I feel sad about it. I feel dejected. I feel so stupid that I want to take the pledge to lose weight and fit into every available skinny fit pair of denims. Or still better, ask someone to pick a pair of denims per my waist size. Yeah! That's gonna be better. Aim for a waist size and fit into every available pair of denim for that size.
Game on, Mr. Garg.
P.S.: The other difficulties of being me, lemme talk about them as and when I get time.
P.P.S.: Good to be back to writing! This is the second day on the trot and I must continue the momentum.
There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who love the way I dress. And the ones who hate the way I dress. The former is an exclusive club where I think the sum total of all members is about 1. The later, well, it unites everyone like no other religion has ever united men and women - they come together in their hatred for how I dress.
But of course I dont understand the malice. I mean, what's wrong in wearing a pair of red shorts and bright green tee? I dont know why a pair of shoes is such an important part of your attire that you cant enter an "exclusive" club without it. I still refuse to believe that I cant spend my entire life in a pair of shorts and a white cotton tee-shirt. I mean whats wrong about it? And what is this entire thing about judging people on the basis of clothes you wear? The other day the guard at my building told me that if he dint know me by face, he wont let me enter the housing complex. I mean, really? Am I my clothes? The way I dress up?
The other piece about my dressing up is that I do not spend a lot of money on clothes - I dont feel the need. I have exactly one pair of denims, 6-7 shirts and 6-7 tees. I wear the same pair of denims to work, to parties, to meetings, to market and to all such places where you expect a man to "dress us." I do not have jackets. I do have a formal pair of trousers, reserved for super special occasions like weddings of close friends etc. Last I wore it was a year back when Gandhi got married. And next time I am going to wear it is when another super close friend / relative gets married - even if its in 2020.
So, this past weak, the only pair of denims I have, it got torn. And since I cant wear a tattered pair of clothing to work (why not?), I had to buy one. And this is where the other part of difficulty of being me came up. I can NOT shop. I am ok dying, ok with public speaking, ok with a bungee jump, I am not frightened by the prospect of asking a girl out, but I cant shop. I cant goto store, try multiple options and then choose one and come back. Its a chore. Its an unnecessary evil.
The other hard part is that I cant outsource it to someone as because my body type is unique. I have short legs, big thighs and a heavy paunch. The fit thus is like piecing together a jigsaw. And there are like handful options, that many brands, that much patience. Yesterday, I did venture out to a mall and I did try 4-5 pairs. But none fit in and I could not buy. And I feel sad about it. I feel dejected. I feel so stupid that I want to take the pledge to lose weight and fit into every available skinny fit pair of denims. Or still better, ask someone to pick a pair of denims per my waist size. Yeah! That's gonna be better. Aim for a waist size and fit into every available pair of denim for that size.
Game on, Mr. Garg.
P.S.: The other difficulties of being me, lemme talk about them as and when I get time.
P.P.S.: Good to be back to writing! This is the second day on the trot and I must continue the momentum.
Untitled - 25 Nov 2016
So, I am writing this for the sake of writing. I want to see my fingers do that dance on the keywords. I want the words to appear magically, as if the keyboard has grown a mind of its own. I want to listen to the music made by the incessant tapping of the keyboard. Its dope. Its fast, its mesmerizing, its addictive. It gives me a rush. It puts me in the flow. Its the best damn sound ever. Almost as good as sgMS singing. Its been so long I've indulged in my favorite guilty pleaseure - the one of writing. I havent written in so many days that its a fucking crime to call myself an author.
I had plans to write more I HAVE plans to write more. I plan to retire an old man with an opinion on everything around me. And more importantly, an audience for all the opinion I peddle. Of course, today, I am a million miles away from it.
Author - lol. The first book came out in 2014 and forget the strangers, even I have forgotten that I got one of my stories out. The other day I was at a book store and I told myself that it would be so cool to see my name in print. I had forgotten that I have been there and done that. And no, I am not a one-hit wonder -- the one that I wrote isn't a hit at all.
As usual I have regular suspects to blame for it - work, health, travel. But when you are old and your spine is all but broken, the zest for life is all but gone, the infinite energy of your fading youth is no longer burning, who, what will you blame? Will it even matter? Remember why you started in the first place!
And talking of blame, I take the blame for missing deadline on multiple things that I am supposed to do. For myself. Things like Book 2, multiple attempts at writing 1000 words a day, the #lifeGoal of conquering the Everest, learning the guitar, winning the main event at the WSOP. Other less selfish things that keeping my folks happy, finding purpose, helping others, Kwan. Wait. I shall not go down the pit of self-pity. There is more to life than that. I can choose to talk about things that I am happy about. Not a lot but there are a few. Or may be I will use this post to do what I do best when I write - think out loud.
So, this urge to pour out, to talk to a stranger is a funny thing. I have friends that I know will lay down their lives for me. I know I can count on them. But I dont know if I can talk to them and explain the mess in my head (and PS, what a beautiful mess the damn head is). I need to find the cause of it. May be its the constant nagging at the back of my head about my inability to make meaning (and thus money). Or is it the release of super bundle of energy that I am?
Thing is, I do multiple things to earn my bread but I am not sure if its the best use of my time. There are days where I have a lot of work and I cant even die. And then there are extended periods of lull where I could disappear and no one would know where I went. So may be I need to pick something that keeps me busy. And busy means busy. So busy that when I go home, all I do is sleep. I dont want time for finding love, for conquering my fears. I want to be busy. I want to drown. That's when I believe I would do justice to the gift that I have. Makes sense?
Untitled - 28 Oct 2016
A few days back I promised myself (and everyone around me) that I will write a 1000 words a day.
And I have failed. I did write 3 or 4 times but last I wrote, it was the 21st. And its been 7 days and I havent published a single word.
In my defence, I have written. Every day. But not a thousand words. But I have written.
However, unless I publish, there is no meaning to the promise of a thousand words. As one of my clients say, "indeed there's a lot of noise in the kitchen but nothing is coming out of it and as long as there is nothing served, there is no proof of actual work to have happened."
I have written some words but they aren't published yet. May be they were half-baked, may be they were not good. May be they dint deserve to see the light of the day. Whatever it were. I did not publish and I am guilty.
Anyhow. Starting today (not this post - the one after this one), I will try to get back to the track.
So sorry for having let the faith down.
P.S.: Maybe I am too harsh on myself - hell yes! I am. But thats how it is. Life is too short. I cant wait on the sidelines as the world goes by. Have to slog hard. I have to err on the side of action. Over and out.
And I have failed. I did write 3 or 4 times but last I wrote, it was the 21st. And its been 7 days and I havent published a single word.
In my defence, I have written. Every day. But not a thousand words. But I have written.
However, unless I publish, there is no meaning to the promise of a thousand words. As one of my clients say, "indeed there's a lot of noise in the kitchen but nothing is coming out of it and as long as there is nothing served, there is no proof of actual work to have happened."
I have written some words but they aren't published yet. May be they were half-baked, may be they were not good. May be they dint deserve to see the light of the day. Whatever it were. I did not publish and I am guilty.
Anyhow. Starting today (not this post - the one after this one), I will try to get back to the track.
So sorry for having let the faith down.
P.S.: Maybe I am too harsh on myself - hell yes! I am. But thats how it is. Life is too short. I cant wait on the sidelines as the world goes by. Have to slog hard. I have to err on the side of action. Over and out.
400050 to 400079
Day 5 / 100 of the 1000WADv3. I am writing this a day late. Last night a combination of factors made is tough for me to post it. All of those will sound like whines from an old man but I'd rather focus on "create" than "crib." So here goes. Also, read this as a continuation post to the one I made when I moved from Nahar to Bandra.
So, about a fortnight back, I moved from Bandra to Vikhroli. And everyone I tell this to, they aresurprised shocked. One of my colleagues says and I quote, "the dumbest idea I've ever had"
So, about a fortnight back, I moved from Bandra to Vikhroli. And everyone I tell this to, they are
Of course it is a dumb idea. Of course they are shocked. Bandra is where all the hipsters are. Vikhroli is where all the lukhkhas are. Bandra is cool. Vikhroli doesn't even qualify to be included on the continuum of cool to drab.
Unless, you are BUYing yourself a home in one of the new high-rises that are dotting this side of the town. In fact lot of friends from MDI have made homes on this belt. And since these folks and others buying a house here are the rich ones, the area is "upgrading" with new fancier restaurants, salons, cinema halls et al coming up. Of course its getting expensive. Ok, I am digressing and trying to sort of defend Vikhroli. Cut. Back to the move.
So, why did I move? One simple reason. Money. I have a limited budget in terms of rental that I want to pay. And I have unlimited expectation from the house I want to live in. Marrying the two is impossible in a city like Mumbai, especially when there are greater fools around. So I had to look for a place where I compromise a tad on both (pay a tad extra and get a tad less amenities).
My list of expectations include (and is not limited to), a gated compound, a place with enough space that the two people living there dont bump into each other while walking, an ample view of sky, a newish building free of pests, access to public transport, proximity to a Starbucks (and a Starbucks only), home delivery of groceries, minimal interference from neighbours. There is more but these are like SUPER essential. To give context, Nahar offers you all these things. Think of Bandra - it offers transport, Starbucks and groceries at best. Rest, well...
My budget, lesser said about it, better. I am doing great financially but I am still far from a car and I cant even think of a house. Chasing your dreams and treading your own path is the worst thing that you could ever do, if you want to make it big. Digressing again. Back to move.
So, I had to move away from Bandra because I found it too claustrophobic - there was the sea and the old world charm and cute women and fancy restaurants and clubs and restaurants and performance venues and celebrity spotting and Shameem's studio and Jai Jawan and all that - and I had to move away. Its an amazing place but not for me. May be once I have made enough money to afford the kind of house I want to live in, I will reconsider Bandra.
After a ton of permutations and combinations, I realised that it had to be either Kandivali (Thakur Village etc.) or Vikhroli. Both are far from the places where I chill at - office (which is close to Andheri Station). And no, I dont want to travel in train (or metro) on an average day. And since Vikhroli is close to two or three friends I have in Mumbai and to Powai (the best part of Mumbai after the queen's necklace), it made sense to choose Vikhroli.
So I moved here a couple of weeks back. And like each time I have moved around in Mumbai, the experience with brokers was far less from pleasant (there is SUCH a BIG need for a professional brokerage services that it's not funny - more on this sometime later). In fact I am still sleeping on the floor and the AC's dont work and... No, I shall not crib. Back to the move, Mr. Garg.
Now that I am here, let me look to the future. Life has been kind in the last few months. Work has more or less fell into a rhythm (I still am a part of two growing organizations), I have saved some money and I can now take time off to think on a wider canvas.
So, here's the offer. Wait. Lemme copy-paste from the old post.
... if you live in / aroundBandraPowai / Ghatkopar / Vikhroli and would want to catch up for coffee / drinks / something, please do let me know. While I have varied interests, I can hold interesting conversations on startups, marketing, branding, poker, travel, writing and self-improvement. Up for it? I am @saurabh on twitter.
The focus is on media and entertainment business, especially live events. And of course starting up. I dont have an expertise to offer, but I am pretty handy with seeing the larger picture, working on communication / marketing / brand-building et al. After all that's what I've done for the last 10 or so years! I am on saurabhgarg.com/contact.
That's it. Do let me know next time you are at 400079. Till then, over and out.
P.S.: Apologies for the delay on post and I know that this is not 1000 words but I dont have anything else to add. And I stand by my words. The kitty is 1000 bucks. And there will be a post for 21st
Untitled - 19 Oct 2016
Day 4 / 100 of the 1000WADv3.
So its 7:40 PM and I am staring at a mile-long todo list. And I have to do all those before tomorrow morning when I have a really important meeting that I cant miss for anything. If there is a day when I am going to miss my 1000 words, its going to be today. And this is when I chose to prioritize and put everything on hold till I got these 1000 words out of the day.
The other thing is that I dont know what to write about. I dont lead a very exciting life and apart from the two Uber rides to and from work, all I do is stare at a computer screen and sleep. And there's as much I can fill in.
So let me call this untitled and just vomit my thoughts. Let me use bullet points.
A. The highlight of the day is a ten-minute long chat between Shekhar Gupta and MDA (cant embed and thus just the link). I am told that the man and the company are manipulative and all that but the interview is such an eye-opener into how that man thinks. The entire thing is not online but I am super impressed with the way the man thinks and the kind of people he is connected to. In ten minutes of the interview, it was clear that he is very methodical, very particular, very articulate (he did make some mistakes and all that). No wonder he's THE MDA!
B. I just got a new tnks sticker on the new laptop. And today at a meeting, a client asked me about the next book. In last few days, the number of people asking me for the book has gone up considerably. I need to get the writing game going. And I think these 1000 words a day will go a long long way in helping me do that.
C. I've rediscovered my love for the music of film Taal. The entire OST is super amazing and super conducive to work. The music helps you get to flow faster. Try it.
D. I spent bulk of the day in the meetings. The mile-long todo list that I spoke about is a side effect of that attempt to meet as many people as I could. I thus get stuck with delivery and the client that cries harder and or pushes shoves me farther gets his things done faster. Of course this is not a great way to get things done. I need to hire people. And for that I need budget. And for that I need money. And to make money, I need people. Vicious circle you see.
The point of D is that I need to be able to put a team that helps me deliver. Or may be, if delivery is my thing, a team that can get me work. At C4E, I am trying a bit of both. There are people that I am paying to get my leads and intros. And there are people I am trying to get on board to deliver on projects that we are on. Read this longish post I wrote yesterday. And to make it clear, I mean EVERY word of that. I stand by all the promises I've made in there. Of course, time shall tell.
E. Continuing to talk about work (have you noticed that I talk of work lot more these days), I made two hiring blunders and I dont know how to fix those. I dont want to fire. I know that the said person is not capable of delivering what I expected them to. I dont know about others but a business has to fundamentally make monetary sense. MDA even acknowledged it on a public forum that you have to sense for shareholders to invest time and all that. So, while the obvious way to go is to let go, the non-obvious way is to let the mistake linger on, let it fix by itself and then evaluate after a while. I dont really know the right way to go about it. But thats the point of doing your own shit - you learn each day. And you better do - or else these 100-week hours are meaningless. Oh, I got the 112-hour week from this amazing advert by Ram. I can watch this all day long - I often do!
F. Just looked at the watch. Its 9:52 and I am still on this. The mile-long list is still around. Staring at me in the face. And in the last two hours I have called a friend, chatted with a couple of colleagues, posted 10-odd tweets and opened and closed 20 old browser tabs. I've ordered my dinner, gossiped with a colleague, heard some Backstreet Boys (yeah, am a dilliwallah like that), saw a few YouTube videos (cant post links here), discussed a business idea with a friend and then, checked 200 times about the length of this post.
And this is where I will end this. If the purpose of writing it to get the word count going, no point doing it. And on the contrary, thats the purest chase. The chase of a deadline and chase of a goal. It helps instill dedication, confidence, goal-orientation, focus and all these positive things.
So yeah, this is it for today. May be tomorrow I will write that will add value to you as a reader. Till then, over n out.
P.S.: I am still accepting "invitations" to be a part the list of people that I send these blog updates to. All you have to do it, tweet at home, write me an email. Either works. Preferably before 7 - thats the time I try to read all my mails from the previous night.
It's a sign!
Day 3 / 100 of the 1000WADv3. I will use today's update to get some work done. I run C4E, a full-service, live-entertainment business and I need people to help me build it. This post is a JD / requirement doc for the same. Here it goes.
Boys and Girls, Ladies and Gentlemen and children of all ages, if you are young, have a fire in your belly, an uninhibited ambition, the mad streak, passion to create world-class businesses, hatred for a regular 9-to-5, quirks that make you who you are, I need you!
Heck, we need each other. And more importantly, the world needs you, needs us!
P.S.: Mad as in Jack's mad. Look to your left.
Who am I?
I am Saurabh. 34. MBA from a decent business school. My LinkedIn profile is here. I am pretty active on twitter. I am @saurabh there.
I run an events agency and a social media / digital marketing agency. Right now, both are small, but will be big. I am very sure. So sure that the question is not "if," but "when." And when that happens, the team to make it happen will probably be the greatest set of hustlers ever gathered at one place. And I am building that gathering right now!
Why this "JD"? What am I hoping to achieve?
One thing and one thing only. Gather a set of great minds - people of thought and action. People who are smart and yet can slog. People who are intelligent and yet hardworking. People who are articulate and yet eager to learn. People who think they are inherently lucky and yet are ok to work to get the lady luck to shine on them. People who know they'd get if they set their minds to a task. People who can pick a discipline and naturally excel at it. People who do not have boundaries. People who are mad. People who have the streak in them that makes them stand out. Alphas. People who get things done rather than mere pushing paper.
More than that, people who believe that life has larger plans for them and all they need is someone, something, an opportunity, a platform to launch themselves.
Ladies and gents, this is a call. The is the fucking sign that you've been seeking all this while. For you to spot others of your ilk and get together. To create something Utopian. Something that puts a ding in the universe. Something that you can be proud of. Something that you know that requires you to do it. Something that is an extension of you. An expression of how you think, how you work et al. Something that no "JD" can describe.
What kind of work will you do?
Right now, we are in the business of entertainment. Tomorrow we could be making spaceships. Or grazing cows for that matter. Or maybe continue to remain in the entertainment business. We dont know of tomorrow and we dont really know how to plan.
So, for the time being, you will be part of a business that entertains people. We do so by creating, producing, managing live events. Soon, we'd have other avatars. Right now, you will be part of the team that sits together and racks brains to come up with things that can blow people's heads off. Things, events, experiences that make people go, "awwww" or "woooow" or I say, "O! faaaaaaaak."
And as and when we change direction, you would be a part of the decision. Not collective per se but you'd have a say! After all, its going to about you and me and everyone around us.
So, what is the grand plan? What is the mission statement?
Wait. What you to mean by mission statement? If you are looking for the grand plan behind all this, there is none. I have vague ideas about where I want these businesses to go. More importantly, I have a clear idea about the kind of people I want to build this business with.
What kind of people? Who are you (aka, the ideal "candidate")?
We dont care for degrees. Or amount of hair on your head (I dont have too many). Or the number of endorsements you have. Or the connections that you father as - your last name for that matter.
But few things are super important to us. Long-term thought and approach to life. Honestly. Loyalty. Meticulousness. Confidence. Clarity of thought. Conversation skills. There is more but to shorten it, you believe in the "treat others the way you want them to treat you" maxim.
And most importantly, you have the ability to hustle.
So, what is hustle?
What can you expect in return?
Of course money. Limited to start with. And if things fall in place, enough to take care of every whim of yours. And the ones around you. Think wealth. Not money.
Apart from that, you will work with me (not for me). You will work for yourself (not for the "company"). You will be an owner (not just figuratively but on paper - of course after we've vetted you out and your have taken the oath of Omerta). You'd be part of family (the Mafia kinds).
And here are two promises. From me, as an individual.
If you want to reach home at 7 PM, this is not for you.
If you dont have ambition, please refrain.
If you cant handle ambiguity, things will be tough for you to manage.
If you see yourself retiring at the age of 40, please dont bother.
Team / who else is in?
In no order, Kunal, Rajesh. Ritika, Rahul. Paras. And friends. And mentors. And giants. In fact, before you decide that you want in, how about speaking to one of us? Do share your details and we will buddy you up with someone from the team.
Thank you for reading this!
Regards,
SG
P.S.: It would help if youread consumed following pieces...
Boys and Girls, Ladies and Gentlemen and children of all ages, if you are young, have a fire in your belly, an uninhibited ambition, the mad streak, passion to create world-class businesses, hatred for a regular 9-to-5, quirks that make you who you are, I need you!Heck, we need each other. And more importantly, the world needs you, needs us!
P.S.: Mad as in Jack's mad. Look to your left.
Who am I?
I am Saurabh. 34. MBA from a decent business school. My LinkedIn profile is here. I am pretty active on twitter. I am @saurabh there.
I run an events agency and a social media / digital marketing agency. Right now, both are small, but will be big. I am very sure. So sure that the question is not "if," but "when." And when that happens, the team to make it happen will probably be the greatest set of hustlers ever gathered at one place. And I am building that gathering right now!
Why this "JD"? What am I hoping to achieve?
One thing and one thing only. Gather a set of great minds - people of thought and action. People who are smart and yet can slog. People who are intelligent and yet hardworking. People who are articulate and yet eager to learn. People who think they are inherently lucky and yet are ok to work to get the lady luck to shine on them. People who know they'd get if they set their minds to a task. People who can pick a discipline and naturally excel at it. People who do not have boundaries. People who are mad. People who have the streak in them that makes them stand out. Alphas. People who get things done rather than mere pushing paper.
More than that, people who believe that life has larger plans for them and all they need is someone, something, an opportunity, a platform to launch themselves.
Ladies and gents, this is a call. The is the fucking sign that you've been seeking all this while. For you to spot others of your ilk and get together. To create something Utopian. Something that puts a ding in the universe. Something that you can be proud of. Something that you know that requires you to do it. Something that is an extension of you. An expression of how you think, how you work et al. Something that no "JD" can describe.
What kind of work will you do?
Right now, we are in the business of entertainment. Tomorrow we could be making spaceships. Or grazing cows for that matter. Or maybe continue to remain in the entertainment business. We dont know of tomorrow and we dont really know how to plan.
So, for the time being, you will be part of a business that entertains people. We do so by creating, producing, managing live events. Soon, we'd have other avatars. Right now, you will be part of the team that sits together and racks brains to come up with things that can blow people's heads off. Things, events, experiences that make people go, "awwww" or "woooow" or I say, "O! faaaaaaaak."
And as and when we change direction, you would be a part of the decision. Not collective per se but you'd have a say! After all, its going to about you and me and everyone around us.
So, what is the grand plan? What is the mission statement?
Wait. What you to mean by mission statement? If you are looking for the grand plan behind all this, there is none. I have vague ideas about where I want these businesses to go. More importantly, I have a clear idea about the kind of people I want to build this business with.
What kind of people? Who are you (aka, the ideal "candidate")?
We dont care for degrees. Or amount of hair on your head (I dont have too many). Or the number of endorsements you have. Or the connections that you father as - your last name for that matter.
But few things are super important to us. Long-term thought and approach to life. Honestly. Loyalty. Meticulousness. Confidence. Clarity of thought. Conversation skills. There is more but to shorten it, you believe in the "treat others the way you want them to treat you" maxim.
And most importantly, you have the ability to hustle.
So, what is hustle?
Hustle is defined as... wait. I want you to tell me your interpretation of hustle should you decide to start a conversation.
What can you expect in return?
Of course money. Limited to start with. And if things fall in place, enough to take care of every whim of yours. And the ones around you. Think wealth. Not money.
Apart from that, you will work with me (not for me). You will work for yourself (not for the "company"). You will be an owner (not just figuratively but on paper - of course after we've vetted you out and your have taken the oath of Omerta). You'd be part of family (the Mafia kinds).
And here are two promises. From me, as an individual.
- I will ensure that I am as much invested in your success as you are in yours. After all thats how you define a clan!
- SUPER IMPORTANT. I know that each person has a world-view and a way of doing things. I respect that. And each person has an idea about what s/he wants to achieve in life. I will ensure that we work with you to achieve that goal of yours. Or I'd die trying. Promise.
If you want to reach home at 7 PM, this is not for you.
If you dont have ambition, please refrain.
If you cant handle ambiguity, things will be tough for you to manage.
If you see yourself retiring at the age of 40, please dont bother.
Team / who else is in?
In no order, Kunal, Rajesh. Ritika, Rahul. Paras. And friends. And mentors. And giants. In fact, before you decide that you want in, how about speaking to one of us? Do share your details and we will buddy you up with someone from the team.
Regards,
SG
P.S.: It would help if you
- Simon Sinek’s How leaders inspire action
- Paul Graham’s essays
- Charlie Munger’s psychology of human misjudgement
- Steve Jobs’ commencement address
- Wikipedia article on Shoulders of Giants
- Hugh Macleod’s Sex and Cash Theory
Untitled - 17 Oct 2016
Day 2 / 100 of the 1000WADv3.
Day 2. The toughest of them all. You've just announced a new habit that is anyway tough to keep up to (1000 words is no mean feat - easily a 2-hour job) and it hasn't met with the mass hysteria that you hoped it would create. You dont have any motivation to do it. But you have to. If you dont, you risk public ridicule. If you do, you'd have to kill the procrastination dragon. You dont know which is the lesser evil. Irrespective. You have to do what you have to.
So, today, its been a busy day. Lot of errands to run at home. Lot of small meetings at work. Both require a lot of attention and are unproductive in the long run. The kind of chores that you ought to outsource. Not that you'd do great things with your time but its your time nonetheless. You can damn well sleep at that time. Its your time.
I did get some time to read a few things. The one that topped the list was this article that dissed Chetan Bhagat. But then apart from talking about Chetan Bhagat, the article also talked about this set of Hindi authors (Ashish Chaudhary, Nikhil Sachan and Divya Prakash Dubey) that are apparently as big as Chetan is. These guys write in Hindi, for an audience that is Hindi and like Chetan Bhagat, are a bridge between the classical, literary authors and mass, colloquial readers. I hadnt heard their names but a tiny investigation revealed that they actually exist! And exist they do. They are kings and princes of the Hindi heartland. May be I need to look at that as a market! Or may be not. I am not sure I have time to create things. Or talent for that matter. I remain mediocre at best. A persistent one at that. And I've learned that a persistent and mediocre dude is always better than a lazy exceptional man.
The other highlight of the day is the renewed focus on being efficient and effective. For a change, I could focus on things while I worked. Not that I got more things done but I am hoping I would retain lot more than previous times. The theory by definition will take some time to test but I shall keep at this focus bit.
Other disjointed piece of information that I have started to settle down at the new house. And my luck continue to remain fucked up with the house. Guess its a sign, that I am going to get a place of my own pretty soon. And going by the going rates of realty prices in the city, my first million is just around the corner!
I got into a bet with a colleague that I would be 30" same time next year. So #in2017, I will be 30". Super tall task and considering the fact that I've struggled with weight all my life, I will need to put in super-human effort to do so. And you know what? I will. I am already off Coke (and all sugarless variants, Red Bull and coffee). I need to cut on processed food and add some sort of work out. And once I get into the groove, it should be easy. Look at this guy. If he could, I can. Of course he ran a half-marathon. I am sure I can do it as well.
And thelast yet another thing for this update. I continue to have the regret that I dont get time to read as much I want to. I recently got an Agatha Christie - that has made me restart reading. I am seriously thinking to reactivate the Kindle that I dont use. But may be, I dont need a Kindle. All I probably need is an intent to read! I'd may be take a 100 books a year challenge once I am done with these 100 posts. Or may be I will find a better way to work and make out more time for reading?
Brings me the last thing for this post. Thing is, I am just vomiting out all the unconnected thoughts and threads that I have in my head. Anyhow. SO today I sat and thought about how I want to work. And I realised that I suck at how I work. I spend a lot of time in actually doing things. Which is not cool if you ask me. At this stage in life, I have to manage things. I have to find people to help me do shit. In fact I just posted about the kind of person I want to work with. You know of someone I could work with? Please help me with some direction. I will really appreciate it.
Thats about it from this post.
Oh, one more thing. Do let me know if you want to be updated as I post the daily 1000 words. You have my email address and twitter handle (@saurabh). :)
P.S.: Not checking for copy and grammar. May be will edit it tomorrow or day after. Or a weekend. Or may be never. That's the point. No?
P.P.S.: Not very happy with how this post has come out. But, for the time being, the struggle is to churn out those 1000 words a day and not worry about the quality.
Day 2. The toughest of them all. You've just announced a new habit that is anyway tough to keep up to (1000 words is no mean feat - easily a 2-hour job) and it hasn't met with the mass hysteria that you hoped it would create. You dont have any motivation to do it. But you have to. If you dont, you risk public ridicule. If you do, you'd have to kill the procrastination dragon. You dont know which is the lesser evil. Irrespective. You have to do what you have to.
So, today, its been a busy day. Lot of errands to run at home. Lot of small meetings at work. Both require a lot of attention and are unproductive in the long run. The kind of chores that you ought to outsource. Not that you'd do great things with your time but its your time nonetheless. You can damn well sleep at that time. Its your time.
I did get some time to read a few things. The one that topped the list was this article that dissed Chetan Bhagat. But then apart from talking about Chetan Bhagat, the article also talked about this set of Hindi authors (Ashish Chaudhary, Nikhil Sachan and Divya Prakash Dubey) that are apparently as big as Chetan is. These guys write in Hindi, for an audience that is Hindi and like Chetan Bhagat, are a bridge between the classical, literary authors and mass, colloquial readers. I hadnt heard their names but a tiny investigation revealed that they actually exist! And exist they do. They are kings and princes of the Hindi heartland. May be I need to look at that as a market! Or may be not. I am not sure I have time to create things. Or talent for that matter. I remain mediocre at best. A persistent one at that. And I've learned that a persistent and mediocre dude is always better than a lazy exceptional man.
The other highlight of the day is the renewed focus on being efficient and effective. For a change, I could focus on things while I worked. Not that I got more things done but I am hoping I would retain lot more than previous times. The theory by definition will take some time to test but I shall keep at this focus bit.
Other disjointed piece of information that I have started to settle down at the new house. And my luck continue to remain fucked up with the house. Guess its a sign, that I am going to get a place of my own pretty soon. And going by the going rates of realty prices in the city, my first million is just around the corner!
I got into a bet with a colleague that I would be 30" same time next year. So #in2017, I will be 30". Super tall task and considering the fact that I've struggled with weight all my life, I will need to put in super-human effort to do so. And you know what? I will. I am already off Coke (and all sugarless variants, Red Bull and coffee). I need to cut on processed food and add some sort of work out. And once I get into the groove, it should be easy. Look at this guy. If he could, I can. Of course he ran a half-marathon. I am sure I can do it as well.
And the
Brings me the last thing for this post. Thing is, I am just vomiting out all the unconnected thoughts and threads that I have in my head. Anyhow. SO today I sat and thought about how I want to work. And I realised that I suck at how I work. I spend a lot of time in actually doing things. Which is not cool if you ask me. At this stage in life, I have to manage things. I have to find people to help me do shit. In fact I just posted about the kind of person I want to work with. You know of someone I could work with? Please help me with some direction. I will really appreciate it.
Thats about it from this post.
Oh, one more thing. Do let me know if you want to be updated as I post the daily 1000 words. You have my email address and twitter handle (@saurabh). :)
P.S.: Not checking for copy and grammar. May be will edit it tomorrow or day after. Or a weekend. Or may be never. That's the point. No?
P.P.S.: Not very happy with how this post has come out. But, for the time being, the struggle is to churn out those 1000 words a day and not worry about the quality.
Introducing #1000WADv3
Today on, I am starting #1000WADv3. 1000 words a day, version 3.
In simple words, I will write 1000 words EVERY day for the next 100 days (at least) without fail. In case you want me to email you when I publish the post, let me know and I will add you to the list. There are 4 people on the list already. The day I dont write, I'd donate 1000 bucks to my poker kitty. Sidenote: I did something similar about #book2 and I never got around to keeping my word. Let me take this up in a bit.
So, lately I have been super busy with work and travel and shifting the house. And as a result, I havent been reading, havent been writing, havent been exploring ideas, talking, meeting new people, growing or anything that has made me who I am. So, there is this void in life. I am not happy - I mean I am happy most days, most times. If I look back at this phase of life ten years from now, I will consider myself happy. But that thing, that magic that we seek from life is missing. I cant put a finger to it but hope you guys get the drift.
Anyhow, so, I need to reclaim life and what better way to do so than getting back to writing? For as long as I can remember, writing has given me pleasure and I've never had any issues with churning words -- I am very fast writer -- but I have had issues with sitting down to write.
I have had phases where I've written for days non-stop and then there have been phases where I havent written a single word (this one for example - the last time I wrote, it was septemberthe23rd. Almost 15 days, if not more. If I were Suketu Mehta, it makes sense to not write for this long. But I am not. Thing is, it takes serious effort for me to write something that is half-decent. And unless I write copious amount of words, I wont be able to leave behind a body of work that keeps me alive after I am gone.
Wait! Do I want to leave something behind? Something to be around when I am gone? I dont know. As I grow older, I feel that the impending end of time is closer than ever and the reality has started to hit home. No, I am not scared. No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Its just that with every passing day the frivolity of life is getting more evident (may be its all the reading around death that I am onto lately - When Breath Becomes Air, Chasing Daylight, what else can I read?). Its disappointing that you live through all these years, hoping to make a dent in the universe and in the end it amounts to nothing. There is no grand plan. There are no white lights at the end of the tunnel. All is useless.
Except...
Except things that keep you going, before you die.
For example, something that you are attached to. People in most cases. Family, friends etc. I live away from my folks and I hardly have any friends per se. Or for example routines, things, disciplines, beliefs that you get attached to. You get so attached that you want to live forever on one end of extreme. And you want to kill (or even get killed) on the other. Religion is a case in point. Or may be the blinding chase of a passion project that wakes people up in the morning and like Warren says, makes people tap dance to work. There is no passion project for me except writing. There are few other things that I want to take up but I am not consumed by those yet. For example, there is this thing in my head where I want to impact a large subset of humanity but I have no clue how to go about it.
Even with writing, because of all the useless action around me, I have been postponing writing. Actually come to think of it, since I can remember I have postponed things, procrastinated to the next minute. Next hour. Next day. Next month. Next year. All the time keeping things pending for the tomorrow that would be brighter and better and see me more richer, more famous, more comfortable and God knows what all. Funny thing is that, none of it is true. Tomorrow is as useless as yesterday is. The worst thing you could do, ever, is to put things off to tomorrow. Of course, there is a "right time" and there are things that require deliberate practise before you master them - say, learning guitar, or running a marathon. Its ok to invest time to learn things. But the lessons can NOT wait. You have to do them while you are awake. There is jack shit on the other side of the sleep.
The point is, the "better" world is not coming anytime soon. Ever. All you have is today. The now. You cant fuck the tomorrow for whatever may be trying to fuck it for you. You've got to be that unstoppable force that is willing to collide with an immovable object. I've learnt that friends often arent around when you need them most, families tend to engage in petty politics more than they care for you, bosses and colleagues tend to be assholes. The day you are getting late, you will get red light on each intersection. Shit goes wrong. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Of course there are exceptions but you cant let anything affect the steady rock in your head. Funny that the person with mood swings larger than the Foucault's is talking about being stable. Being sane. Being immovable. Gyaan is easy. No?
But, as I go along, I will make sure I become stable. I dont know what could help. But there has to be something.
I think it all starts with one small thing - the resolve to do things now. Keyword is Now. Its ok to make mistakes. Its ok to pay for action. Action trumps everything else. And things = writing, getting out of the bed, putting on those running shoes, saying no to that last piece of jalebi and so on and so forth. Action. Things. Now.
And to kickstart one of the things, I promise that I will write 1000 words a day. For the next 100 days atleast. Follow me as I do this. Help me do this. Reprimand me if I falter. And may be, just may be, take up the challenge? 1000 words a day for you too? Or may be 10000 steps a day? Or something else that you thought you wanted to do but havent had the time to?
Oh, one more thing. This one, on promises.
So, through my life I have made promises and more often than not, I tend to deliver on those promises. But lately, since I've got busy with things, I havent kept my word. I have promised things and I havent delivered. With clients, friends, colleagues, people etc. I even made a similar promise about #book2 and I did not keep it. And it sucks! I want to avoid this suckiness in my head as I go along. I want to sleep in peace at night.
I know I cant fix what is broken but going forth, I will not make promises that I cant deliver on. My word has to become Gold standard. People have to put enough faith in me. All that will happen if I start delivering. Most times I do. But then I need to aim for perfection and ensure that I deliver on EVERY promise. My zubaan has to be respected. After all zubaan is what makes the world go around. I am nothing if I cant keep my word.
As I start afresh, the first promise going ahead, is to write 1000 words a day. Starting today. Godspeed Mr. Garg.
In simple words, I will write 1000 words EVERY day for the next 100 days (at least) without fail. In case you want me to email you when I publish the post, let me know and I will add you to the list. There are 4 people on the list already. The day I dont write, I'd donate 1000 bucks to my poker kitty. Sidenote: I did something similar about #book2 and I never got around to keeping my word. Let me take this up in a bit.
So, lately I have been super busy with work and travel and shifting the house. And as a result, I havent been reading, havent been writing, havent been exploring ideas, talking, meeting new people, growing or anything that has made me who I am. So, there is this void in life. I am not happy - I mean I am happy most days, most times. If I look back at this phase of life ten years from now, I will consider myself happy. But that thing, that magic that we seek from life is missing. I cant put a finger to it but hope you guys get the drift.
Anyhow, so, I need to reclaim life and what better way to do so than getting back to writing? For as long as I can remember, writing has given me pleasure and I've never had any issues with churning words -- I am very fast writer -- but I have had issues with sitting down to write.
I have had phases where I've written for days non-stop and then there have been phases where I havent written a single word (this one for example - the last time I wrote, it was septemberthe23rd. Almost 15 days, if not more. If I were Suketu Mehta, it makes sense to not write for this long. But I am not. Thing is, it takes serious effort for me to write something that is half-decent. And unless I write copious amount of words, I wont be able to leave behind a body of work that keeps me alive after I am gone.
Wait! Do I want to leave something behind? Something to be around when I am gone? I dont know. As I grow older, I feel that the impending end of time is closer than ever and the reality has started to hit home. No, I am not scared. No, I am not suicidal. No, I am not depressed. Its just that with every passing day the frivolity of life is getting more evident (may be its all the reading around death that I am onto lately - When Breath Becomes Air, Chasing Daylight, what else can I read?). Its disappointing that you live through all these years, hoping to make a dent in the universe and in the end it amounts to nothing. There is no grand plan. There are no white lights at the end of the tunnel. All is useless.
Except...
Except things that keep you going, before you die.
For example, something that you are attached to. People in most cases. Family, friends etc. I live away from my folks and I hardly have any friends per se. Or for example routines, things, disciplines, beliefs that you get attached to. You get so attached that you want to live forever on one end of extreme. And you want to kill (or even get killed) on the other. Religion is a case in point. Or may be the blinding chase of a passion project that wakes people up in the morning and like Warren says, makes people tap dance to work. There is no passion project for me except writing. There are few other things that I want to take up but I am not consumed by those yet. For example, there is this thing in my head where I want to impact a large subset of humanity but I have no clue how to go about it.
Even with writing, because of all the useless action around me, I have been postponing writing. Actually come to think of it, since I can remember I have postponed things, procrastinated to the next minute. Next hour. Next day. Next month. Next year. All the time keeping things pending for the tomorrow that would be brighter and better and see me more rich
The point is, the "better" world is not coming anytime soon. Ever. All you have is today. The now. You cant fuck the tomorrow for whatever may be trying to fuck it for you. You've got to be that unstoppable force that is willing to collide with an immovable object. I've learnt that friends often arent around when you need them most, families tend to engage in petty politics more than they care for you, bosses and colleagues tend to be assholes. The day you are getting late, you will get red light on each intersection. Shit goes wrong. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. Of course there are exceptions but you cant let anything affect the steady rock in your head. Funny that the person with mood swings larger than the Foucault's is talking about being stable. Being sane. Being immovable. Gyaan is easy. No?
But, as I go along, I will make sure I become stable. I dont know what could help. But there has to be something.
I think it all starts with one small thing - the resolve to do things now. Keyword is Now. Its ok to make mistakes. Its ok to pay for action. Action trumps everything else. And things = writing, getting out of the bed, putting on those running shoes, saying no to that last piece of jalebi and so on and so forth. Action. Things. Now.
And to kickstart one of the things, I promise that I will write 1000 words a day. For the next 100 days atleast. Follow me as I do this. Help me do this. Reprimand me if I falter. And may be, just may be, take up the challenge? 1000 words a day for you too? Or may be 10000 steps a day? Or something else that you thought you wanted to do but havent had the time to?
Oh, one more thing. This one, on promises.
So, through my life I have made promises and more often than not, I tend to deliver on those promises. But lately, since I've got busy with things, I havent kept my word. I have promised things and I havent delivered. With clients, friends, colleagues, people etc. I even made a similar promise about #book2 and I did not keep it. And it sucks! I want to avoid this suckiness in my head as I go along. I want to sleep in peace at night.
I know I cant fix what is broken but going forth, I will not make promises that I cant deliver on. My word has to become Gold standard. People have to put enough faith in me. All that will happen if I start delivering. Most times I do. But then I need to aim for perfection and ensure that I deliver on EVERY promise. My zubaan has to be respected. After all zubaan is what makes the world go around. I am nothing if I cant keep my word.
As I start afresh, the first promise going ahead, is to write 1000 words a day. Starting today. Godspeed Mr. Garg.
The Birthday Blues
So, the most depressing day is here. A day when you're constantly reminded by everyone - friends, family, neighbours, strangers, brands, businesses trying to sell to you, hoardings, pop ups, enemies, ex-girlfriends, future girlfriends, Tinder dates and what not - that you are an year older and have one less year left. To make that impact. To reach that goal. To give happiness away. Hell, to be happy.
I know conventional wisdom says that I ought to be happy and get sloshed and throw parties and all that. I think the entire world has to be happy on my birthday. After all I am The One. Well, everyone is The One. But in my mind, my heart, I am.
Point being, the day is of course special. People look forward to it. People plan for it. Event managers like me actually make houses and what not, thanks to elaborate celebrations that people plan and the obscene amount of money they spend on the day.
Am sure at some point in time it was special for me as well. At least in 2004 (April 24, 2004) when I signed up for a google email address and a blog titled, well, septemberthe22nd. I don't know when the switch flipped and I became an escapist. Yeah that's the word. Escapist. I am sure I would be escaping something when I switched off my phone for the first time on my birthday. And since I've been pretty jobless almost all my life I would have easily escaped to a cave or something. And I would've liked the not speaking to people bit (afterall I get embarrassed about things and I dont know how to show gratitude or say thank you). And like a drug, I got hooked onto it. And it has sort of worked fine for me. And like any other creature of habit, I now do it every year. And I plan to do it for rest of my life.
Thing is, I've never understood all the festivity surrounding a birthday. Every day is a new day and you are sort of born everyday when you get up in the morning. Or in the afternoon, depends on how things are at your end. I am ok celebrating a new year - on Dec 31. Or on Diwali, as I've been taught as I was growing up. I am all for making yearly plans and resolutions about things you ought to do the next year. I actually take those pretty seriously - not that they work out often. But on the day you were born? I dont know if its worth all the hoopla around it.
You may argue that you turn over a year and you are older. And thus wiser and thus must celebrate. But you don't add a year to your life at the flip of a button on your birthday. It's a slow gradual process and you don't even realise when the eyes begin to sag, the hairlines start to recede (lol) and that stoop in your walk becomes prominent. If it were a flip, it would be worth celebrating. But its not and no there is no celebration. Nah, every day is not a celebration. There are ups and downs. Highs and lows. Smiles and tears. And so on and so forth.
However, there is that silver lining as well. sgMS texts you. By herself. So what if the conversation is awkward and you exchange all of 4 texts? And 2 of those texts are emoticons and one is a "thank you" from your side? How many times does she message you by herself in a year? Once! And that by itself makes the ordeal worth the effort.
So what about plans for the 35th year of my life? The same - that has been around since I was 16. Get rich (Richest man in the world). Buy a cars (cars actually, latest obsession is GLS). Buy a house (houses around the world). Make some impact (enable people, eradicate poverty etc). Get fitter (30", Everest). Fall in love. Learn new things. Work hard. Try and get sleep. Repeat till I die.
That's it for the time being. And here is a thing before I leave you. Thank you Swanand for this.
Oh, and, one more thing. Thank you everyone for calling me, messaging me etc. I did not know that so many people care for me. Humbled. Really am. The best thing to have happenedtoday yesterday? A peck on the cheek from MG as she cut my birthday cake :)
I know conventional wisdom says that I ought to be happy and get sloshed and throw parties and all that. I think the entire world has to be happy on my birthday. After all I am The One. Well, everyone is The One. But in my mind, my heart, I am.
Point being, the day is of course special. People look forward to it. People plan for it. Event managers like me actually make houses and what not, thanks to elaborate celebrations that people plan and the obscene amount of money they spend on the day.
Am sure at some point in time it was special for me as well. At least in 2004 (April 24, 2004) when I signed up for a google email address and a blog titled, well, septemberthe22nd. I don't know when the switch flipped and I became an escapist. Yeah that's the word. Escapist. I am sure I would be escaping something when I switched off my phone for the first time on my birthday. And since I've been pretty jobless almost all my life I would have easily escaped to a cave or something. And I would've liked the not speaking to people bit (afterall I get embarrassed about things and I dont know how to show gratitude or say thank you). And like a drug, I got hooked onto it. And it has sort of worked fine for me. And like any other creature of habit, I now do it every year. And I plan to do it for rest of my life.
Thing is, I've never understood all the festivity surrounding a birthday. Every day is a new day and you are sort of born everyday when you get up in the morning. Or in the afternoon, depends on how things are at your end. I am ok celebrating a new year - on Dec 31. Or on Diwali, as I've been taught as I was growing up. I am all for making yearly plans and resolutions about things you ought to do the next year. I actually take those pretty seriously - not that they work out often. But on the day you were born? I dont know if its worth all the hoopla around it.
You may argue that you turn over a year and you are older. And thus wiser and thus must celebrate. But you don't add a year to your life at the flip of a button on your birthday. It's a slow gradual process and you don't even realise when the eyes begin to sag, the hairlines start to recede (lol) and that stoop in your walk becomes prominent. If it were a flip, it would be worth celebrating. But its not and no there is no celebration. Nah, every day is not a celebration. There are ups and downs. Highs and lows. Smiles and tears. And so on and so forth.
So what about plans for the 35th year of my life? The same - that has been around since I was 16. Get rich (Richest man in the world). Buy a cars (cars actually, latest obsession is GLS). Buy a house (houses around the world). Make some impact (enable people, eradicate poverty etc). Get fitter (30", Everest). Fall in love. Learn new things. Work hard. Try and get sleep. Repeat till I die.
That's it for the time being. And here is a thing before I leave you. Thank you Swanand for this.
Oh, and, one more thing. Thank you everyone for calling me, messaging me etc. I did not know that so many people care for me. Humbled. Really am. The best thing to have happened
Work and all that
C asked, "Hi hoomans who are happy with their profession/career path, did you always know what you wanted to do? How did you get here?"@JinxedSnowflake not happy but not sad either. no i did not. got here by LOT of luck, some hustle, some grind and LOT of help.— SG (@saurabh) September 12, 2016
I responded, "not happy but not sad either. no i did not. got here by LOT of luck, some hustle, some grind and LOT of help."
She asked me to elaborate. I thought 140 chars is too less. And thus, here is a longish explanation.
So, am I happy with my profession / career path?
Sort of. I am very happy at the place I am at. I run two small businesses. One I know will become big - I have someone partnering me on it and giving me direction. The other, I am not sure. There's just me and a few friends that help as and when they get time. None of them is a well-oiled cash-churning machinery - I need to constantly work on them, think on them, invest time and resources and money and all that to be able to make ends meet. But then, I work for myself. And that makes me happy.
Can I make more money if I worked in a job? Of course.
Can I be happier? Of course.
Can I do better? Of course.
Could I've had a better career path? Of course.
Do I have regrets about what I do? No way!
Will I achieve my #lifeGoals? I believe I would. I am actually on my way!
Next, did I always know that I'd end up here? And how did I get here?
Let me club the two questions.
No I did not.
How requires the long answer. So, I did computer science before I did my MBA (from MDI, Gurgaon). And my first job post MBA was with GE Money where I was supposed to sell credit cards. I did it for three months (after a 11-month "training") and I quit. In fact I knew in the first month itself that I had to quit. And I did. Back then, I was still fresh out of b-school and I still believed that I could change the world. I was still hopeful. I was dreamy. And I knew I loved advertisements. And thus I decided that I had to join an advertising agency. With no portfolio to speak of (I did not even know what a portfolio meant), I approached a recruiter and asked her to find me openings. [grind]. She told me that I could be a brand planner at best and none of the bigger agencies would hire me and I would have to take a pay cut. So I interviewed with two "startups", both accepted me and the person who offered me more money, I joined him. And it was the best damn move of my life. [luck].
For the next two years I worked with Raj at CLA. I saw Vikram and Raj build up a team and a body of work that was / is enviable. I learnt the business, met some amazing folks (some are friends till date) and most importantly, realised that I wasn't good enough. So, a time came when I had to move on. Plus Raj had shown me that my world is not limited to my batchmates and peers and all that.
Quit CLA to start something with a friend. I did not work out. Joined an events agency (not that I knew what events management was - I trusted the guy (Suvi at Gravity) and took a leap of faith. [luck]. It was the second best move ever. Next three years I worked really hard [grind], travelled the world, learnt how "real" businesses are managed and grew a lot as a person. I also realised that I am an adrenaline junkie. Well, not a junkie per se but I love on-the-spur decision. I love live entertainment. I love action. I love travel. I love to make people happy. And most importantly, I learnt that I am cut out for the business of events.
Quit Gravity to startup yet again. This time with another set of friends. Each day at 5times5 was a battle. We tried a lot of things, most failed and yet we kept at it. [grind] It was the toughest thing that I've ever done in my life. Could've done more. Could've hustled more. But I could not. I still believe I could've done it better. Anyhow, while we sustained business for almost 18 months (purely because of the hardwork that my partners put in, we never broke even, leave alone getting profitable), it got reaffirmed in my head that I need freedom and independence in how I work. We eventually shut the business, moved on and I was lucky to find a job fairly fast. With a social media agency. [luck]. This time, the guys who hired me took a leap of faith, by hiring someone like me who was new to this whole social media thing. But I think I did ok. But it got stifling pretty fast and I wasnt good enough for them to bend the rules for me. And I had learnt the importance of time by then. So, quit them in about 6 months.
Started freelancing - thanks to (Sanjay at SWL), they offered me the first gig. And from there on, I hustled really hard. I told everyone I knew that I am in the market and I can work on brand planning, social media and / or events. People couldn't fathom how could one guy do all three (and they still dont get it). I was ridiculed (I still get ridiculed). I kept at it. [hustle]. I got a few projects that helped me pay my bills and survive in Mumbai. Oh, I was lucky that I did not have to send money back home. [luck].
And then, one fine day, I struck gold. A guy I worked for knew a guy who knew another guy who was looking for a brand planner for a project in Nigeria. [luck]. I knew nothing about Nigeria and the guy who was hiring me knew nothing about me. He offered for some reason and I needed the money, so I took the gig. Did pretty well with that project (I think) and starting getting more work from the guy. With each piece of work, we got comfortable with each other and started working on more things. Think of a positive feedback loop. So much so that today Rajesh (at Viscomm) and I have partnered to setup an events management business, C4E. And I spend bulk of my time working with him at Viscomm and C4E. And this is where I am.
And now that I am at it, lemme answer a few more questions that C did not ask.
Will I do this for rest of my life?
I dont know. I have never planned my life and I dont think I can plan. I take things as they come and then react. All I know is that each year, I need to build on what I did in the year before.
What is next?
Again, I dont know. One things for sure. For the next few years, I am going to build C4E and grow AWSL. I have a clear idea about how I want C4E to evolve (an entertainment conglomerate). And a vague idea about what I want AWSL to be (enabler for other businesses). Will explain what I mean by this and intend these to be, in subsequent posts. For the time being, I think I am enjoying where I am. Wish me luck!
Oh, one more thing. Apart from "work", there are a few things that excite me and I want to explore further. I dont know how and when and where and why etc. but I will. These are:
- Writing. I did write a book in 2014. And I am working (albeit very slowly) on the next. And I will probably write a few more before I die. So, writing is on the cards.
- Music. I want to play guitar. And I will learn it someday.
- Fitness. I really want to get fit. So I will probably spend a lot of time in the coming years on my fitness. I have made a promise to myself that I will scale Mt. Everest before 2025. So that.
- Compete. I want to compete in some sport at the international level. At 34, I am too old to be an athlete. So, I will probably pick up a sport like Pool, Snooker or Poker. So may be that.
- Teach. I dont know if I am wise enough to teach. But I have been in front of students and I love the feeling. I love being the enabler and I want to give teaching a sincere shot.
That's it I guess. Thank you C for helping me think on this. While I was writing this, I realised that I've been extremely lucky in life. I may not have a house and I may not earn as much as my peers do, but I have a lot to be thankful for. I just hope things work out and I do make the ding. And I do become the richest man in the world! After all somethings never change - even if its been 10 years since you passed out of MDI. You are a change master and you can and you will change the world! No?
P.P.S.: Another epiphany. All these people that I have met, all the things that I have done, is because I went out and made tons of loose connections. Last few months I have stopped doing that. I need to re-start.
Untitled 1 - Sep 2016
So since I started working on C4E, I sort of "inherited" an office space. And now that I have a space, the middle-class Indian in me is making me maximise my time at office. Couple that with my hatred for traffic in Mumbai and the shitty house I live in, you have me spending 15 hours in office. Of course I am not working all of those 15 hours but I am busy on something or other.
I honestly dont mind long hours, if only we have a snooze room or something where I could take occasional naps. And a gym kind of thing with a shower that allowed me to pretend and do something to lose weight.
On lose weight piece, I stumbled onto this piece about this guy who wanted to climb to the top of the Everest with a Google Street View camera and record a panoramic view from the top of the world. No he could not, he died in an earthquake. Hats off to him and his balls. Really. I mean how many have such an audacious plan and the balls to actually chase the dream, while working at a hyper-competitive setup?
The other bit from the story is that providence seems to be sending me signs. Of two things - my promise to myself to climb the Everest before 2025 and the limited time that we have. Oh, on the shortness of life and all that, I re-read the account of Prof. Bakshi's life yet again. Read it. Must read. In BOLD. He also posted this note on the BFBV group. The thing that jumps at me is that a man ought to get financially independent as soon as he can. I am 34 years too late for that. But then I cant cry about it. Can I? What I could do is reach there fast. May be in the next 2-3 years? But wait. What's the number that I am chasing? At the way I live my life right now, I spend about a lakh a month and I dont have a car or a house. Should I want those, I need to shell out 5 crores upfront and say another 5 on maintenance over lifetime. Assuming my lifestyle remains same and I live till I am 50 (another15 years), I am looking at another 3 crores (adjusted for inflation). So, am looking at a 13 crore kind of corpus. In 3 years. 5 crores of net income each year. Or 10ish crores of topline each year. Wow! Thats a lot of money. And such a depressing thought.
Thing is, I shouldve more prudent like my batchmates from MDI. Almost all bought the house within five years after MBA and now they are almost EMI free. Wait. Lemme not compare. It will suck whichever way I look. The point of this post was to talk about how I am in office and I dont want to to back to where I live. There's no one to go back to and worse, the place sucks. Good bit is that I am going to move out soon.
And with that, the pain it takes to move! Sigh! You know of someone who wants to rent out a 2BHK in Mumbai? All I want is a high floor, new construction, gated community and a swimming pool in the complex. Too much to ask for? In Mumbai? May be. May be not.
I honestly dont mind long hours, if only we have a snooze room or something where I could take occasional naps. And a gym kind of thing with a shower that allowed me to pretend and do something to lose weight.
On lose weight piece, I stumbled onto this piece about this guy who wanted to climb to the top of the Everest with a Google Street View camera and record a panoramic view from the top of the world. No he could not, he died in an earthquake. Hats off to him and his balls. Really. I mean how many have such an audacious plan and the balls to actually chase the dream, while working at a hyper-competitive setup?
The other bit from the story is that providence seems to be sending me signs. Of two things - my promise to myself to climb the Everest before 2025 and the limited time that we have. Oh, on the shortness of life and all that, I re-read the account of Prof. Bakshi's life yet again. Read it. Must read. In BOLD. He also posted this note on the BFBV group. The thing that jumps at me is that a man ought to get financially independent as soon as he can. I am 34 years too late for that. But then I cant cry about it. Can I? What I could do is reach there fast. May be in the next 2-3 years? But wait. What's the number that I am chasing? At the way I live my life right now, I spend about a lakh a month and I dont have a car or a house. Should I want those, I need to shell out 5 crores upfront and say another 5 on maintenance over lifetime. Assuming my lifestyle remains same and I live till I am 50 (another15 years), I am looking at another 3 crores (adjusted for inflation). So, am looking at a 13 crore kind of corpus. In 3 years. 5 crores of net income each year. Or 10ish crores of topline each year. Wow! Thats a lot of money. And such a depressing thought.
Thing is, I shouldve more prudent like my batchmates from MDI. Almost all bought the house within five years after MBA and now they are almost EMI free. Wait. Lemme not compare. It will suck whichever way I look. The point of this post was to talk about how I am in office and I dont want to to back to where I live. There's no one to go back to and worse, the place sucks. Good bit is that I am going to move out soon.
And with that, the pain it takes to move! Sigh! You know of someone who wants to rent out a 2BHK in Mumbai? All I want is a high floor, new construction, gated community and a swimming pool in the complex. Too much to ask for? In Mumbai? May be. May be not.
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