Wrote this a few days ago. Couldn't publish in time. But der aaye, durust aaye!
Dear Mary Kom,
I just came back from a movie hall after watching the eponymous biopic based on your life. And it was moving. So moving that it has made me write this letter. The letter is going to be a really long one. Please do get a bucket of popcorn and some soda before you start reading this.
First things first. You are a wonderful wonderful person Mary. You are a true achiever and a true fighter. I love your never-say-die attitude. I love the way you are totally committed to your sport. I love the way you have been an exemplary ambassador for the sport of boxing. Thank you so much for bringing so much glory to India. I am so proud that you and I are compatriots. I sincerely wish I could do half the things that you've done. You deserve all the awards and medals and appreciation and flowers and other things that we have bestowed upon you. And I sincerely believe that you deserve a lot more. Apologies that it took a movie to get me (and probably other Indians) to notice your contribution to our country.
So, if this letter gets rude, out of place, please ignore it as a rant of a jobless old man.
I do not mean any disrespect to you, but Mary, you've made a mistake. A big big mistake. You allowed Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Omung Kumar (I loved Omung Kumar when I was a kid when he did shows like Ek Minute etc.) to make the movie on your life. And you allowed Priyanka Chopra (who I know has been put on earth to marry me someday) to play the lead. The three of them, individually, are great (like I said). Probably as accomplished as you are. But the three of them together created a mess that is hard to digest. There are so many things wrong with the movie that I don't even know where to start.
Actually I know where to start. Research. If I were to make a sporting movie and a boxing movie at that, I would have done a LOT of research on it. No no, not on your life. That would be easy because I would merely need to sit with you and get dope on you (which I hope they did!) But research on sporting movies per se. I would want to know what kind of sporting movies have worked in the past. What are the few things that make a sports movie interesting. After all, its not a typical rom-com where the actors are running around trees and stealing pecks when no one's watching. I would've seen the classics like Angels in the Outfield, Finding Buck McHenry, even Mighty Ducks etc etc. And I would have seen the boxing movies like the Rocky series, Million Dollar Baby, Ali etc. I would even see Jerry Mcguire. And movies from India that have done well - Chak De India, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag etc.
And then, once I have done all this research, seen all these movies, I would goto the drawing board and start working on your movie. From what it seemed to me, the research bit was missing from your movie. Leave aside research, the script did not have the essential ingredients for a sports film. What could those ingredients be? I think it would be a long list but the key ones would be fast-paced story, action-packed fighting scenes, grandeur and strong characters (apart from you Mary) that inspire.
Mary, you are an accomplished boxer. Couldn't you consult the director on the boxing scenes atleast? The fight sequences were really really bad. They were so boring that I could've actually shown a clock ticking on the screen. I would've saved some money. Even the training bits were really sad. Look at Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. For whatever that movie was worth, it got the training bit correct. You can see the dude sweating while he was training. In your case, agreed you woke up early and you milked the cow and all that but that's your training? Really?
So anyhow let me talk about these characters. Lets start with your coach. Of course the coach is like the Guru. Whatever he says, is like a thing cast in stone. He has to be inspiring. Look at Micky. He made Rocky the fighter he was. Look at SRK in Chak De. Leave boxing and hockey. Look at a simple movie like Rockford. Nagesh Kukunoor is a PT teacher to kids and he is inspiring. Mary, your coach, to me did not look like someone who could inspire. Please please know that I am talking from the perspective of the movie. The actor, the lines, the action, demeanor of the coach is so so important for a sporting movie that you had to have a brilliant actor play that role. I don't understand why would you settle for someone who has not proven his mettle as an actor!
Then, your husband. Damn I hate him. He is too too good to be true. You cant imagine the plight of all other men in the country. When a woman sees your husband do all those sweet things for you, they'd start expecting their men to do the same. Thank God the movie flopped. Otherwise your husband would have been the reason for a few divorces for sure.
Lets talk about your father. His anger and exasperation is justified. He is a simple man and wants his daughter to do well. But Mary, in the movie, did you actually give approval to overt dramatization to that fight scene that is apparently shot in Turkey? Where you are down and out and your father sees you take a thrashing of your life and he then yells at a television to encourage you. And you, some 6000 KMs away get this burst of energy that helps you win. Mary, are you telling me (the gullible movie-goer) that telepathy works? I mean, it may. But this much dramatization? Are you sure? And no, it did not happen at just one place. Even the fight in the climax when your son is struggling with life and your come back. Really?
Then Mary, where did the entire thing about "you being discriminated in a bout because you are a Manipuri" come in from? Do you really think so? You really think we are that small? Some of us may be. But Indians at large? I was actually offended at that scene. Filmmakers have a responsibility and it sucks that someone would resort to communal tensions to make a story out of an incident. And please know that you are as Indian as I am. In fact, Mary, you are a notch better. Way better actually. Because you've brought glory to the country. I on the other hand have just ranted on this blog. Did you not realize that the management or the federation declared the other girl a winner because they hated your guts. Not because you are a Manipuri. Please Mary. I sincerely hope that you did not approve of that bit in the film.
There are so many more questions I have. But I guess time is not on my side. Over all, I think its a poorly written film. The direction and acting looked half-hearted as well. The fight scenes were pathetic. A film-student could have done a better job in my humble opinion.
Oh, and the film lacked grandeur. As an amateur film maker, it seemed to me that you guys cut corners while making the film. The sets were done poorly, space was sparse and props lacked detail, something that I did not expect from a team of Bhansali and Omung Kumar who have worked on magnum opuses like Black and Saawariya. I mean look at all other Sanjay Leela Bhansali films. The only thing that stands out in those films is the opulence, the grandness, the larger than life visual hooks. Your movie Mary, lacked all of it.
Some parts looked as if they were shot on a phone camera. May be they were indeed shot with a small camera. After all, cinematic creativity is something that I dont know nothing about as yet. You should've seen the sketches and you should've been a part of the PPM and other such meetings.
In the end, Mary, I think you ought to give your story to some other filmmaker who would probably do justice to your story and tell is better. You need to redeem yourself. The next generations just can not have this movie as the reference point when they think about the boxing legend from India - Mary Kom!
Regards,
An Indian who is very proud of your achievements. And is disappointed with the film.
What could've been better?
Story, script and screenplay
Actors
Design
What worked for me?
Your husband. Even the actor and his acting.
Overall rating?
1 on 5.
Will I recommend it?
NO WAY. In caps.
Why ship?
 |
| "Real Aritst Ship." - Steve Jobs. Image Credit: Andrew Power / Busy Building Things |
Context
a. A conversation with a very very dear friend about The Nidhi Kapoor Story. Please judge.
b. I am a firm believer in the concept of shipping (folklore). She, on the other hand, hates mediocrity and thinks quality is always greater than quantity. It's a never-ending debate and there is no right side. I guess.
Notes
a. I don't remember the exact words that she used. Or the exact words I used. But this is how the conversation went.
b. This friend, F, is my dearest friend. The kinds I can die for. Really.
So, it went like...
[START]
Friend (F): Are you happy with your book? Is this the best that you can come up with?
SG: Not really. If I want, I can tinker it with for the rest of my life. But it has come to a point where I am confident about sharing it with the world. I wish I could write like all the other great ones...
F: Then why would you publish it?
SG: What do you mean?
F: Arey you said its not your best output. Why would you want a sub-standard and half-baked product out in the market?
SG: It is not sub-standard. I have given it an honest shot and I really think it ought to see the light of day.
F: Why? If you can still improve it, how is it not half-baked?
SG: Its at a stage where I think I can ship it. Of course I can add things, remove things, change things. like any other story, this one is in a perpetual stage of flux. I have created it. Everything is fictional. I can do whatever with it. But I believe that if more people see it, I'd get more feedback and better I'd get as an
F: But a mediocre product? Do you know whenever Steve Jobs launched something, it was always very very cool!
SG: It may be. Steve Jobs knew what he was doing with his life. I do not know. Writing does not come to me naturally. I had to work hard for it. It took me considerable time and effort to come to a point where I could finish the book. Hence I want to put it out as soon as possible so that I get as much feedback on it.
And like I said, I have spent enough time on the book and I really think that it would be worth the time people spend in reading it.
Plus I want to try. Stumble on things, fall down and then get up again. And eventually carry on walking. And, if writing does not work out, I will move onto the next thing. Simple. Thats the plan. And commercial success is a true true barometer of an artist. Even though for every famous writer, there are a thousand others that die an anonymous death. When I die, I really want to tell myself that I tried. Simple.
F: Fucking faff! And if you really want feedback, show it to your friends. Why release it in print and all? Why make so much noise about it?
SG: Because friends could be biased. They wont be merciless in their reviews. They wouldn't want me to get discouraged. If its out there, I would know that what the aam aadmi thinks.
And I really really believe in doing things that make accidents happen. What if someone reads this and gives me an idea that can change the way I work? Unless I print the book, I would never reach that person. No? So its important to get this in the hands of as many people as I can.
F. Wait. Are you writing this for yourself? Or for people?
SG: Of course its for my own happiness. It would be good to make money from it though. But money is not the only criteria. I want to tell stories. People may or may not listen to what I have to say. But I know that if I keep up to it, I will someday become a storyteller.
F: So, this is about fame?
SG: No no. Its about trying to do something that I think I could do for the rest of my life! Its yet another thing that I am trying my hand at. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, Id move onto the next one.
F. I dont believe you. You are such a fucking moron.
SG: But that's how I am. Trust me I really want to improve the craft and I cant see any other way. I definitely cant be the guy who works in a garage till he comes up with a masterpiece. Whatever I do, I want to put out as soon as possible.
[END]
The conversation went on for another 30 or so minutes till she finally got disgusted and almost threw a glass full of water on face. Thank God she did not do that.
Though, I still wondering, what did I do to deserve that extreme a reaction.
10 books that have stayed with me over the years
First posted on #tnks blog.
There is this thing going around FB where people are listing their top 10 books. I refuse to not be a part of any fad. And thus, here is my list (in no particular order).
1. The Godfather. By Mario Puzo. As someone said, it is the dictionary of crime. It was the first time when I thought reading books could be fun. I loved reading it. I love love it. The characters have stayed with me for years. I can still recall the plots. I know the dialogues by heart and so on and so forth. If there is one book that you out to read before you die, its this one. Or may be its English, August.
2. English, August. By Upamanyu Chatterjee. Its like my biography. Just that Ogu is little less lost, far more focused and younger than I. I can totally relate to everything that Ogu did while he was posted in Madna. I've went through every emotion that August lived through while he wrote the book. If there is one book that I wish I had written, it would be this. Here is a post I wrote about English, August.
3. The Count of Monte Cristo. By Alexandre Dumas. Its a work of pure genius. Its revenge. Served cold. This is what inspired me to work on The Nidhi Kapoor Story. If there was no Monte Cristo, there wouldn't be any Nidhi Kapoor. I wrote about the strange dreams that I started having when I read the The Count.
4. Rich Dad. Poor Dad. By Robert Kiyosaki. Yes. Self-help. And yes, I am aware of all the controversy and debate around it. But, eat my shorts, as Bart would say. I read this recently and since then it has changed the way I look at things. I wish I had read this one sooner. May be just before I entered the business school.
5. Eat, Pray, Love. By Elizabeth Gilbert. Because I am as depressed as Groceries is. And her travel helped me get over some bit of my depression. I am serious. Just that I dont know if its a true story or a fictional one. I did goto Bali this year and vaguely tried to search for Ketut but could not find him.
6. On Writing. Stephan King. Of course. I don't have to say anything anymore. It has inspired www.onWriting.in.
7. To Kill a Mockingbird. By Harper Lee. I instantly fell in love with Scout. I wish I had a girlfriend like her! Too bad Harper Lee wrote just one book. As an aspiring writer and a voracious reader, I see a good bit and a bad bit. Good, that she has made enough money from one that she does not have to rely on the mercy of readers / reviewers for sales of the next ones. Bad, that as a reader, I couldnt read more from her.
8. Jack Reacher (series) by Lee Child. This is what unadulterated, indulgence is. You are so enthralled by the man, Jack Reacher, that you dont want his fables to ever come to an end. I have read 13 / 14 books and when I realized that I had read almost all his books, I did not want it to come to an end. And I cant wait for the next one to come. Whenever it does. Someday, I aspire to write about a man like him. Or may be a woman.
9. Shantaram. By Gregory Davids Roberts. I did not like the way it ended but the way he has romanced Mumbai with his "brother" on bikes, uff! They must've been one hell of a time. If there is someone who has been able to do justice to Mumbai and its charm, its Shantaram. Read this one purely for his narration on Mumbai. And infectious smile of one Prabhakar.
10. The Mahabharata. By I dont know who. Surprise surprise. Not a modern fiction but a story none the less. I must have read this one a thousand times. Excluding the Geeta bits. The book is about righteousness, fairness, fair play, good, bad, evil, life, revenge, greed, love, jealousy and all such passions that a human being is capable of experiencing. Love the complex plots and epic connections and relationships. While writing, the notes would have ran into millions of pages. I know I'd never be able to, but I would give an arm and a leg to peek into the notes. Any ideas how?
And here is a bonus.
11. Warren Buffet letters. Again, technically not a book but it's a collection of annual letters he writes to shareholders of Berkshire. Love his sense of humor, his candour and the simplicity with which he writes. He doles about advice on life and investing in the garb of these letters. Its one of those things I wish I had read sooner.
Thanks Internet for this meme. Thanks Radhika for the prompt. What is your list of 10 books that have stayed with you over the years?
P.S.: Too lazy to include links to these books. Easy enough to find I guess, if you want to read them.
There is this thing going around FB where people are listing their top 10 books. I refuse to not be a part of any fad. And thus, here is my list (in no particular order).
1. The Godfather. By Mario Puzo. As someone said, it is the dictionary of crime. It was the first time when I thought reading books could be fun. I loved reading it. I love love it. The characters have stayed with me for years. I can still recall the plots. I know the dialogues by heart and so on and so forth. If there is one book that you out to read before you die, its this one. Or may be its English, August.
2. English, August. By Upamanyu Chatterjee. Its like my biography. Just that Ogu is little less lost, far more focused and younger than I. I can totally relate to everything that Ogu did while he was posted in Madna. I've went through every emotion that August lived through while he wrote the book. If there is one book that I wish I had written, it would be this. Here is a post I wrote about English, August.
3. The Count of Monte Cristo. By Alexandre Dumas. Its a work of pure genius. Its revenge. Served cold. This is what inspired me to work on The Nidhi Kapoor Story. If there was no Monte Cristo, there wouldn't be any Nidhi Kapoor. I wrote about the strange dreams that I started having when I read the The Count.
4. Rich Dad. Poor Dad. By Robert Kiyosaki. Yes. Self-help. And yes, I am aware of all the controversy and debate around it. But, eat my shorts, as Bart would say. I read this recently and since then it has changed the way I look at things. I wish I had read this one sooner. May be just before I entered the business school.
5. Eat, Pray, Love. By Elizabeth Gilbert. Because I am as depressed as Groceries is. And her travel helped me get over some bit of my depression. I am serious. Just that I dont know if its a true story or a fictional one. I did goto Bali this year and vaguely tried to search for Ketut but could not find him.
6. On Writing. Stephan King. Of course. I don't have to say anything anymore. It has inspired www.onWriting.in.
7. To Kill a Mockingbird. By Harper Lee. I instantly fell in love with Scout. I wish I had a girlfriend like her! Too bad Harper Lee wrote just one book. As an aspiring writer and a voracious reader, I see a good bit and a bad bit. Good, that she has made enough money from one that she does not have to rely on the mercy of readers / reviewers for sales of the next ones. Bad, that as a reader, I couldnt read more from her.
8. Jack Reacher (series) by Lee Child. This is what unadulterated, indulgence is. You are so enthralled by the man, Jack Reacher, that you dont want his fables to ever come to an end. I have read 13 / 14 books and when I realized that I had read almost all his books, I did not want it to come to an end. And I cant wait for the next one to come. Whenever it does. Someday, I aspire to write about a man like him. Or may be a woman.
9. Shantaram. By Gregory Davids Roberts. I did not like the way it ended but the way he has romanced Mumbai with his "brother" on bikes, uff! They must've been one hell of a time. If there is someone who has been able to do justice to Mumbai and its charm, its Shantaram. Read this one purely for his narration on Mumbai. And infectious smile of one Prabhakar.
10. The Mahabharata. By I dont know who. Surprise surprise. Not a modern fiction but a story none the less. I must have read this one a thousand times. Excluding the Geeta bits. The book is about righteousness, fairness, fair play, good, bad, evil, life, revenge, greed, love, jealousy and all such passions that a human being is capable of experiencing. Love the complex plots and epic connections and relationships. While writing, the notes would have ran into millions of pages. I know I'd never be able to, but I would give an arm and a leg to peek into the notes. Any ideas how?
And here is a bonus.
11. Warren Buffet letters. Again, technically not a book but it's a collection of annual letters he writes to shareholders of Berkshire. Love his sense of humor, his candour and the simplicity with which he writes. He doles about advice on life and investing in the garb of these letters. Its one of those things I wish I had read sooner.
Thanks Internet for this meme. Thanks Radhika for the prompt. What is your list of 10 books that have stayed with you over the years?
P.S.: Too lazy to include links to these books. Easy enough to find I guess, if you want to read them.
Hello September. Of 2014.
And just like that its September. Of 2014. Time flies. And how.
I don't recall the specifics but it seems like yesterday when it was September of 2013 and I was planning for a roadtrip through the US of A with friends. The trip for reasons beyond the scope of this blog did not happen in September. Apart from the trip, I was thinking about my book. And about what life holds for me in the times to come. The times to come have arrived and life pretty much looks the same. Except that I have little less hair and little more gray hair.
Anyhow, the point is, its almost been a year and I have no clue where time went.
Of course I did things and I met people and all that. But do I recall how I spent the time? No I dont. I just recall that since last september, I wrote and travelled and worked and spent all that I had saved and read and blogged. I generally had a good time. But again, I dont know any specifics. I dont have stories to share, I dont have medals to boast of, I dont have bank balance to show off, I dont have sgMS to go to. I dont have any of those things that make life worth living.
Brings me to the question that I have been asking a lot lately. What's the point of all this?
And no, I am not depressed before you start recommending solutions and medicines.
This time, like the previous four or five months, I wont really do an analysis of what went wrong and what I learnt and what I missed and all that. I think that I am not programmed for that kind of planning. I forced myself to work on it. I tried but I could not. The question is, how do I make time count, before its September yet again. Of 2015. Assuming I make it to Sep of 2015.
Hunt for the second / third place
Lets start this rant with a few facts. Quirks, more than facts to be honest.
Fact 1. I dont like moonlighting my home with my office. It works for a lot of people, but not for me.
Fact 2. I seek flexibility, freedom and independence over a stable job. Even if its a well-paying one. Anyhow, well-paying naukri is a myth.
Fact 3. I see a bed and I want to lie down. Yeah I am lazy like that. I can't say no to the allure of the bed.
So, now the rant.
Because of facts 1, 2 and 3, you can guess that most of my work happens from coffee shops and all that. Which was fine till late. But then a lot of people are now in my position and thus these coffee shops now frown on people spending long hours. Plus, with the prices going through the roof, its become very expensive to sit there. As a result, the productivity has taken a hit and I've wasted a lot of money and time on the hunt for the illusive perfect place to work out of.
So, I need, no not need, want... so I want a place where I could sit and work for long hours. And odd hours because I want to keep the flexibility going. I have tried talking to all those fancy co-working places and communes around where I live and nothing seems to be working.
I put a tweet, posted a question on Quora, put it on FB but nothing is working out. And time is running out fast. Fast like crazy fast. And I cant seem to do anything about it. Someone, please help! Any good samaritans know of some place that I could use?
Kangaali me aata geela
So when I was young, I loved using idioms. And one of my favorite ones was / is, "kangaali me aata geela." Literally translated, it means when you in deep shit, more shit is piled on you. And as I type this, I am in deep deep shit. So deep that I don't think I can wade out of it. Ever. Unless some divine intervention happens and the Hand of God (or an act of God) pulls me out of it.
Oh, apart from God, I am sure Mr. Murphy must be laughing at me as well. After all, despite all the positive vibes that I send to the universe, life has been unfair to me. I mean not unfair but it could've treated me better. It has made me a mediocre, arrogant, cockyyoung old man who refuses to change the way he operates. If life were to be any better, it could have either made me a beggar and left me to rot at the mercy of the world. Or it could have made me an exceptional brain and allowed me to make a dent in the world.
Neither happened and the world left me as a mediocre man. I lost the damn ovarian lottery.
And like I have said a million times, mediocrity sucks. And I am nothing but a case-study in mediocrity. Before I continue with the self-flagellation and self-doubt and pity and all that, let me come back to the kangaali me aata geela bit.
So when I had money, I saved like I was Uncle Scrooge. I did splurge, but most of what I spent was on things that I did not really need. And ever since money has tightened, I have tried to control my splurges but my expenses on things that are essential to work has spiraled. Take charging cables for phones and laptops for example. When I had money, I could buy as many cables and most times my employer would have foot the bill. But the cable never broke. I never misplaced the cables. Everything worked with perfection, like a dream.
And ever since I've been left to fend for myself (and money is in limited supply), everything seems to be breaking. Like my phone cable. And now my laptop charger. And since both of them are Apple products, the accessories are expensive. Sigh! This is just one example. There are more such incidents that tell me that kangaali main aata geela hota hi hai. I believed that accidents and fuck-ups happen with those who attract those. Have I become one of those? Plus I dont know what I want in life. And life is getting shorter by the day. And thus, I have lesser time to achieve things, as and when I know what I want to achieve in life.
I am now part of that feedback loop that is spiraling downwards. Fast. I am poor and hence I am getting poorer. I need some sort of tailwind to bring me back upto speed. Remember I spoke about a year and a crore the other day? That! That is what I need. And like I said, I need some divine intervention. Some act of God, some hand of God, something is needed.
To end this, I know that that act is just around the corner. Just that I don't know when or where will it happen. May be there's a way to expedite it? Prayers help? Try praying for me? No point actually. God and I have a chattees ka aankada. God has told me 'fuck you' in as many words.
Damn!
Oh, apart from God, I am sure Mr. Murphy must be laughing at me as well. After all, despite all the positive vibes that I send to the universe, life has been unfair to me. I mean not unfair but it could've treated me better. It has made me a mediocre, arrogant, cocky
Neither happened and the world left me as a mediocre man. I lost the damn ovarian lottery.
And like I have said a million times, mediocrity sucks. And I am nothing but a case-study in mediocrity. Before I continue with the self-flagellation and self-doubt and pity and all that, let me come back to the kangaali me aata geela bit.
So when I had money, I saved like I was Uncle Scrooge. I did splurge, but most of what I spent was on things that I did not really need. And ever since money has tightened, I have tried to control my splurges but my expenses on things that are essential to work has spiraled. Take charging cables for phones and laptops for example. When I had money, I could buy as many cables and most times my employer would have foot the bill. But the cable never broke. I never misplaced the cables. Everything worked with perfection, like a dream.
And ever since I've been left to fend for myself (and money is in limited supply), everything seems to be breaking. Like my phone cable. And now my laptop charger. And since both of them are Apple products, the accessories are expensive. Sigh! This is just one example. There are more such incidents that tell me that kangaali main aata geela hota hi hai. I believed that accidents and fuck-ups happen with those who attract those. Have I become one of those? Plus I dont know what I want in life. And life is getting shorter by the day. And thus, I have lesser time to achieve things, as and when I know what I want to achieve in life.
I am now part of that feedback loop that is spiraling downwards. Fast. I am poor and hence I am getting poorer. I need some sort of tailwind to bring me back upto speed. Remember I spoke about a year and a crore the other day? That! That is what I need. And like I said, I need some divine intervention. Some act of God, some hand of God, something is needed.
To end this, I know that that act is just around the corner. Just that I don't know when or where will it happen. May be there's a way to expedite it? Prayers help? Try praying for me? No point actually. God and I have a chattees ka aankada. God has told me 'fuck you' in as many words.
Damn!
Book Review: Private India
I recently read Private India. The latest by Ashwin Sanghi and James Patterson. Got the book as part of the book review program by Blogadda.com.
Before I launch in a full-blown review, let me get some numbers out of the way. I mean the ratings.
Readability: 3.5 on 5
Suspense: 2 on 5 (I could guess the killer moment the character was first introduced)
Storyline / Plot: 4 on 5
Overall: 3.5 on 5
One line verdict: A good one-time read. However the story, the characters, the plots won't really stay with you after you've read the book.
Full Review
Before the review, lets try to make a recipe for a bestseller in the crime / thriller category.
Private India follows this recipe down to a T. Except the steamy love scenes. Wonder why did they leave it out.
Anyhow, coming to the story, the lovely city of Mumbai is rocked by a series of murders. Each victim is a famous personality with a vague connection to the Bollywood. On each crime site, a series of clues is left alongside each victim and its upto our righteous, know-it-all Private Detective to solve the mystery of the clues. And prevent the serial killer from going on a spree. And ofcourse catch the killer.
There are a couple of side plots as well. Purely to distract us, the readers, from the main story. And to give the book a larger theme per se. But I'd say, the side plot is so weak that they could've totally left it out.
So, while the unknown assailant is merrily killing people, the hero is trying to catch up with the killer and the side-plot is trying to confuse us, lessons in history happen and we suddenly reach the end of the story! That ways, the story flows smooth. Very smooth. I wish I could write like that.
Coming to the good bits.
And the not-so-good bits
Despite both of them being very very popular authors, this is the first James Patterson or Ashwin Sanghi that I am reading. And honestly, I expected better. From whatever I have heard, Ashwin Sanghi's strength is digging up history (or mythology etc) and coming up with interesting takes and twists on those. At least my friends have made me believe so. Private India is nothing like that.
And James Patterson is like the grand-daddy of writing (and thrillers) and each his book is expected to be a page-turner and unputdownable. As a struggling author, its one of my dreams to be able to write as well as him. This one, however, is not really up there.
May be its a case of over-promise and under-delivery?
In the end
Like I said, its a good one-time read. Perfect for a holiday or a vacation. Reading Private India is like watching one of those mindless action flicks where you sit through the film and you enjoy the violence, without applying your brain. And when the movie over, even though you don't recall what or why, but you know that you had a good time watching it.
Notes
P.S.: This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!
P.P.S.: This is the first time I am doing a post as a part of some review program. I would tag all subsequent review posts as #aff. And no, I don't make any money from these reviews / posts.
P.P.P.S.: My book is coming out in Oct. If you like reading and you would want to review my book, please leave your details in this form.
 |
| Private India. James Patterson and Ashwin Sanghi. |
Readability: 3.5 on 5
Suspense: 2 on 5 (I could guess the killer moment the character was first introduced)
Storyline / Plot: 4 on 5
Overall: 3.5 on 5
One line verdict: A good one-time read. However the story, the characters, the plots won't really stay with you after you've read the book.
Full Review
Before the review, lets try to make a recipe for a bestseller in the crime / thriller category.
- Step 1. Take one potion underdog hero who is battling with his personal demons and alcohol (or drug) addiction.
- Step 2. Throw in a bunch of loyalists who would stand by the hero through the thick or thin.
- Step 3. Add atleast two people who think that the hero is a bag full of shit and is better cornered into a remand home or something.
- Step 4. Finally, create a villain who has a personal vendetta against someone really really famous. Step 5. And then let the villain plan, plot, execute, run from the hero, to eventually get caught by the hero, only to turn tables in the climax, before tables turn one more time to give the hero the upper edge.
- Step 6. Of course, once the dish is ready, as per the taste, sprinkle some steamy scenes, sidekicks (for the hero, the heroine and the villain) and personal histories of all characters.
Private India follows this recipe down to a T. Except the steamy love scenes. Wonder why did they leave it out.
Anyhow, coming to the story, the lovely city of Mumbai is rocked by a series of murders. Each victim is a famous personality with a vague connection to the Bollywood. On each crime site, a series of clues is left alongside each victim and its upto our righteous, know-it-all Private Detective to solve the mystery of the clues. And prevent the serial killer from going on a spree. And ofcourse catch the killer.
There are a couple of side plots as well. Purely to distract us, the readers, from the main story. And to give the book a larger theme per se. But I'd say, the side plot is so weak that they could've totally left it out.
So, while the unknown assailant is merrily killing people, the hero is trying to catch up with the killer and the side-plot is trying to confuse us, lessons in history happen and we suddenly reach the end of the story! That ways, the story flows smooth. Very smooth. I wish I could write like that.
Coming to the good bits.
- Each chapter is less than 1000 words. Some are even less than 500. So it makes for a very very easy read.
- The story has been penned really nicely. Its very readable. Clearly the book has been written for people who probably are new readers.
- One of those fast, pacy reads where story doesn't drag at all. The kinds that you can read in one sitting if you are on a beach or on a holiday.
And the not-so-good bits
Despite both of them being very very popular authors, this is the first James Patterson or Ashwin Sanghi that I am reading. And honestly, I expected better. From whatever I have heard, Ashwin Sanghi's strength is digging up history (or mythology etc) and coming up with interesting takes and twists on those. At least my friends have made me believe so. Private India is nothing like that.
And James Patterson is like the grand-daddy of writing (and thrillers) and each his book is expected to be a page-turner and unputdownable. As a struggling author, its one of my dreams to be able to write as well as him. This one, however, is not really up there.
May be its a case of over-promise and under-delivery?
In the end
Like I said, its a good one-time read. Perfect for a holiday or a vacation. Reading Private India is like watching one of those mindless action flicks where you sit through the film and you enjoy the violence, without applying your brain. And when the movie over, even though you don't recall what or why, but you know that you had a good time watching it.
Notes
P.S.: This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!
P.P.S.: This is the first time I am doing a post as a part of some review program. I would tag all subsequent review posts as #aff. And no, I don't make any money from these reviews / posts.
P.P.P.S.: My book is coming out in Oct. If you like reading and you would want to review my book, please leave your details in this form.
In praise of writing
The last few days have been really busy.
Amongst other things, I have been playing a fervent ping-pong match with team at Grapevine India. They have sent me the edited and proofread version of tnks and I was supposed to give an approval on it. I did not like a few things that they removed. And they did not like a few things that I really want in the final version. Both of us (Grapevine and I) are guilty of clinging onto things and thus we are squabbling over it. And squabbling over things is a very very time consuming and exhausting.
Thankfully, we've reached a truce and agreed on the final draft. And it means two things.
A, we are on track to meet the October release deadline for the book. Yay!
B, I can now start working on the next plot. In fact, today I wrote a few lines for the next one. And I loved working on it. Loved it like crazy. Words magically appeared on my screen and the time seemed to be moving fast. I realized that I love creating new things. That chase of new new thing has remained with me even after all these years!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I live. To see time fly by. To see words popping in my head.
When I write, I forget everything that is wrong with my life. I instead become the God and I, for a change, can control things. I can mould characters and their behaviors. I can change the course of incidents and situations and everything else as per my whims. I can give birth, take a life, nurture something, torture someone and be indifferent without any guilt. No, I am not a egomaniacal narcissist. As yet.
Just that I am the happiest when I am writing. And nothing else comes close. May be, except spending time with sgMS!
Original, edited version posted here.
Amongst other things, I have been playing a fervent ping-pong match with team at Grapevine India. They have sent me the edited and proofread version of tnks and I was supposed to give an approval on it. I did not like a few things that they removed. And they did not like a few things that I really want in the final version. Both of us (Grapevine and I) are guilty of clinging onto things and thus we are squabbling over it. And squabbling over things is a very very time consuming and exhausting.
Thankfully, we've reached a truce and agreed on the final draft. And it means two things.
A, we are on track to meet the October release deadline for the book. Yay!
B, I can now start working on the next plot. In fact, today I wrote a few lines for the next one. And I loved working on it. Loved it like crazy. Words magically appeared on my screen and the time seemed to be moving fast. I realized that I love creating new things. That chase of new new thing has remained with me even after all these years!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I live. To see time fly by. To see words popping in my head.
When I write, I forget everything that is wrong with my life. I instead become the God and I, for a change, can control things. I can mould characters and their behaviors. I can change the course of incidents and situations and everything else as per my whims. I can give birth, take a life, nurture something, torture someone and be indifferent without any guilt. No, I am not a egomaniacal narcissist. As yet.
Just that I am the happiest when I am writing. And nothing else comes close. May be, except spending time with sgMS!
Original, edited version posted here.
Tum
When I was young, I used to love this band, Euphoria. At MDI, I even got an opportunity to host them at our cultural fest (and like a starry-eyed kid, I was mesmerized with them and loved while they were performing for us. Of course I took pictures with the band.)
Fast forward to 2014. While browsing random videos on youtube, I stumbled onto this song, Tum. It looked like a modern version of a song that I loved when I was young. Thinking that I may have out-grown the love for a love song, full of mush, I initially wanted to skip it but then something in me asked me to give it a chance and listen to it.
And I was blown by it.
Funny this is that the new avatar is almost like the old one. The lyrics are essentially the same. The music is what it was back then (except a new instrument). And the energy is as much as you expect from a Euphoria song.
And yet for some reason, this time, the song sounded more beautiful. It came across as lot more meaningful. it brought back all the good times that I've spent with sgMS.
To end this, Tum has to be one of the most beautiful songs. Ever.
P.S.: This is the first time I am writing a post with the help of Hemingway app. Do let me know if you like this post any better from the other ones that I've written.
Fast forward to 2014. While browsing random videos on youtube, I stumbled onto this song, Tum. It looked like a modern version of a song that I loved when I was young. Thinking that I may have out-grown the love for a love song, full of mush, I initially wanted to skip it but then something in me asked me to give it a chance and listen to it.
And I was blown by it.
Funny this is that the new avatar is almost like the old one. The lyrics are essentially the same. The music is what it was back then (except a new instrument). And the energy is as much as you expect from a Euphoria song.
And yet for some reason, this time, the song sounded more beautiful. It came across as lot more meaningful. it brought back all the good times that I've spent with sgMS.
To end this, Tum has to be one of the most beautiful songs. Ever.
P.S.: This is the first time I am writing a post with the help of Hemingway app. Do let me know if you like this post any better from the other ones that I've written.
The tales of a grumpy old man
One of the things that keeps me up at night is that I am growing old. By the day, by the hour and by the minute. And with old age, I am getting grumpy, fat, unhealthy, lethargic, stubborn, headstrong and other things. And I dont like any of that. And I dont know what is the escape. I cant stop the aging process and I cant stop the side-effects. Its like being on a conveyor belt that is moving towards a destination that I cant control!
Update. On tall claim. And on life.
Since I made that tall claim that day, I have tried to post something everyday. Except the last four.
Because I was traveling and was in Goa where access to Internet is quite a pain. And for a change I did have the time and the ideas to write but I just could not.
Now that I am back, I am going to restart writing. On this blog and otherwise. After all, writing is like a muscle. More I flex it, stronger it gets.
So I went to Goa. To different people, Goa means different things. To me, it means a trip to the casino and a drive through long winding roads through the green cover of trees et al. Over time, casinos have become more expensive and cocky. Roads have become crowded. And if not for these two, Goa is like yet another place that I have no emotional connect with. In short, I think I am done with Goa for the time being.
And I am done with poker as well. I have been losing consistently for almost two months now. Like they say, form is temporary and class is permanent, I think I poker is not for me. Yet to decide on it. Lets see what I do with it.
The initial excitement over The Nidhi Kapoor Story is over. The book is out in October but I am already onto the next plot. I am in that phase where I have some 5 - 6 plots brewing in my head and I ought to pick one and move with it. I have given myself till the end of August to shortlist a plot and then another three months (till the end of November) to get the first draft out. Like it was for #tnks, I hope that the first draft of next one would be about 100K words. Translates into about a 1100 words each day. Pretty manageable.
Naukri still remains elusive. Been interviewing and meeting people. But nothing is materializing. Guess I am not as good as I think I am. I am running on fumes now. If things dont fall in place by end of Sep, I think I may be back home. For good. I dont want to leave Mumbai but then I dont know if I can continue to stay here. Again, update on this as and when things get clearer.
What else? What else could be troubling a middle aged man with no naukri and no love prospects? Quite a few things actually. But then, nothing else seems to be coming to my mind right now. May be in the next few posts?
P.S.: The Independence Day came and went and for a change I did not experience any strong emotions about it. Same for Rakshabandhan and Janamashtmi. Is this because I am growing up? Or is it because there are far more important things that are on my mind? Or may be I am unwell (mentally)? Or I need a break? Any armchair psychologists?
Because I was traveling and was in Goa where access to Internet is quite a pain. And for a change I did have the time and the ideas to write but I just could not.
Now that I am back, I am going to restart writing. On this blog and otherwise. After all, writing is like a muscle. More I flex it, stronger it gets.
So I went to Goa. To different people, Goa means different things. To me, it means a trip to the casino and a drive through long winding roads through the green cover of trees et al. Over time, casinos have become more expensive and cocky. Roads have become crowded. And if not for these two, Goa is like yet another place that I have no emotional connect with. In short, I think I am done with Goa for the time being.
And I am done with poker as well. I have been losing consistently for almost two months now. Like they say, form is temporary and class is permanent, I think I poker is not for me. Yet to decide on it. Lets see what I do with it.
The initial excitement over The Nidhi Kapoor Story is over. The book is out in October but I am already onto the next plot. I am in that phase where I have some 5 - 6 plots brewing in my head and I ought to pick one and move with it. I have given myself till the end of August to shortlist a plot and then another three months (till the end of November) to get the first draft out. Like it was for #tnks, I hope that the first draft of next one would be about 100K words. Translates into about a 1100 words each day. Pretty manageable.
Naukri still remains elusive. Been interviewing and meeting people. But nothing is materializing. Guess I am not as good as I think I am. I am running on fumes now. If things dont fall in place by end of Sep, I think I may be back home. For good. I dont want to leave Mumbai but then I dont know if I can continue to stay here. Again, update on this as and when things get clearer.
What else? What else could be troubling a middle aged man with no naukri and no love prospects? Quite a few things actually. But then, nothing else seems to be coming to my mind right now. May be in the next few posts?
P.S.: The Independence Day came and went and for a change I did not experience any strong emotions about it. Same for Rakshabandhan and Janamashtmi. Is this because I am growing up? Or is it because there are far more important things that are on my mind? Or may be I am unwell (mentally)? Or I need a break? Any armchair psychologists?
The Shoe Story
Today was a big day. In fact I am lucky that first thing I did in the morning was to watch Steve Jobs' version of Think Different Commercial. Everytime I hear it I am filled with so much optimism that I believe I can achieve anything I want to. I think motivation, right in the morning helps set the pace for the day. I dont really believe in self-help books and tips but this is something that I'd try doing tommorow as well. And if tomorrow goes as well as today went, I would make it a routine. Lets see.
Anyhow, so today, I had a big meeting with a big big guy. The meeting went ok. Phew! I may have some interesting news to announce in a few days. But then, that's not the point actually. The point is, since it was a big meeting, I was advised to dress properly. And that meant I was politely asked to wear shoes and a formal shirt.
Now, I have a big big problem with that.
For starters, I dont want someone to evaluate me by what I am wearing. I know that the world works in a certain way and all the older and experienced people want to see prospective employees and vendors in a certain dress code. I know that its hygiene for those people. I know they are used to working in a certain style. But I am sorry, I am not part of that crop. And I have issues when someone judges me on the basis of what I wear!
Second, I really genuinely cant think when I am wearing shoes. No serious. I cant. I have tried and I have failed. Everytime I wear shoes, the pores get blocked and I cant think at all. Whoever said that gray matter resides in the brain must've been kidding. At least in my case, its down there. In the toes.
And third, I am trying to experiment with my look. Which means I have all sorts of weird colors and cuts and none of them may not be appropriate for such serious occasions. So I had an option of wearing a bright yellow shirt or a deep pink one or a black one with a funny cut. No points for guessing the one I finally wore for the meeting.
Anyhow, I just reached home (its 11:45 PM) and I've now been wearing shoes since noon or so. And its almost 12 hours. Straight. Without a break. I am going to take off my shoes and let me feet breathe. You must try it for yourself. Go to work, office for one day without shoes and you'd thank me for the rest of your life.
Go try. Serious.
And thankfully, tomorrow I dont have to wear shoes. But yes, I would start the day with some motivational video for sure.
Anyhow, so today, I had a big meeting with a big big guy. The meeting went ok. Phew! I may have some interesting news to announce in a few days. But then, that's not the point actually. The point is, since it was a big meeting, I was advised to dress properly. And that meant I was politely asked to wear shoes and a formal shirt.
Now, I have a big big problem with that.
For starters, I dont want someone to evaluate me by what I am wearing. I know that the world works in a certain way and all the older and experienced people want to see prospective employees and vendors in a certain dress code. I know that its hygiene for those people. I know they are used to working in a certain style. But I am sorry, I am not part of that crop. And I have issues when someone judges me on the basis of what I wear!
Second, I really genuinely cant think when I am wearing shoes. No serious. I cant. I have tried and I have failed. Everytime I wear shoes, the pores get blocked and I cant think at all. Whoever said that gray matter resides in the brain must've been kidding. At least in my case, its down there. In the toes.
And third, I am trying to experiment with my look. Which means I have all sorts of weird colors and cuts and none of them may not be appropriate for such serious occasions. So I had an option of wearing a bright yellow shirt or a deep pink one or a black one with a funny cut. No points for guessing the one I finally wore for the meeting.
Anyhow, I just reached home (its 11:45 PM) and I've now been wearing shoes since noon or so. And its almost 12 hours. Straight. Without a break. I am going to take off my shoes and let me feet breathe. You must try it for yourself. Go to work, office for one day without shoes and you'd thank me for the rest of your life.
Go try. Serious.
And thankfully, tomorrow I dont have to wear shoes. But yes, I would start the day with some motivational video for sure.
One year and a crore
These days I talk a lot about life. Probably because I am at that juncture where I need to figure out the next step. And its going to be a very important step because the next few years are going to be very important.
I have realized that I am not passionate about any one idea and thus I dont think I can start something. I have also realized that I love my freedom so much that I dont want to work for someone else. And I know that I need money. And I am at a stage when I have to have to settle down if I want to die a happy man. So many decisions and so many constraints!
All of it, all these things that I have talked about above look doable and yet are difficult. They look within grasp and yet they are out of reach. And last night I realized that I need a tailwind gain of a crore and a year. That's all it would take to get my life back on track (read [1] below). One crore and one year.
And that's what I really really need right now.
I can't think of a way to make that much money in a year unless I rob a bank or start cooking meth or sell a kidney or commit a fraud or something. There is no legit way to make money. At least I dont think there is. If there is, please point me to it. Really.
Apart from this, I think all is well. I have discovered something that I think I like doing. And I can totally see myself doing it for the rest of my life (writing). Just that I dont know if I am good enough to make a commercial success out of it. I know the woman that I want to marry and settle down with. Just that she cant tolerate even standing next to me. I know the kinda life I want to lead. Just that its kinda long shot as of now. And so on and so forth.
Oh, and my current mood is sad. And I need sad music. The kinds where the hero walks alone through a happy crowd on a well-lit road at night and a saxophone is playing somewhere in the background (read [2] below).
That's it!
Notes
[1] When I say back on track, I mean that I would be back on par with my cohorts, my classmates, an average guy my age etc.
[2] This kinda music.
I have realized that I am not passionate about any one idea and thus I dont think I can start something. I have also realized that I love my freedom so much that I dont want to work for someone else. And I know that I need money. And I am at a stage when I have to have to settle down if I want to die a happy man. So many decisions and so many constraints!
All of it, all these things that I have talked about above look doable and yet are difficult. They look within grasp and yet they are out of reach. And last night I realized that I need a tailwind gain of a crore and a year. That's all it would take to get my life back on track (read [1] below). One crore and one year.
And that's what I really really need right now.
I can't think of a way to make that much money in a year unless I rob a bank or start cooking meth or sell a kidney or commit a fraud or something. There is no legit way to make money. At least I dont think there is. If there is, please point me to it. Really.
Apart from this, I think all is well. I have discovered something that I think I like doing. And I can totally see myself doing it for the rest of my life (writing). Just that I dont know if I am good enough to make a commercial success out of it. I know the woman that I want to marry and settle down with. Just that she cant tolerate even standing next to me. I know the kinda life I want to lead. Just that its kinda long shot as of now. And so on and so forth.
Oh, and my current mood is sad. And I need sad music. The kinds where the hero walks alone through a happy crowd on a well-lit road at night and a saxophone is playing somewhere in the background (read [2] below).
That's it!
Notes
[1] When I say back on track, I mean that I would be back on par with my cohorts, my classmates, an average guy my age etc.
[2] This kinda music.
The predicament(s) of a writer
I am a struggling writer. My first book is out in Oct (if all goes well). While I am proud about the fact that I am going to be a published writer, there are a 1000 questions swirling in my head. Answers are not easy. And hence the predicament. Before I launch into it, here is a disclaimer.
Disclaimer.
Writing is something that did not happen to me naturally. I had to work hard on it. Took me 10 odd years of consistent rambling on this blog to be able to realize that I could write a book.
In fact this blog helped me realize that I loved writing.
Now, coming to questions, the first question that I get asked is, "Why do I write?"
And my answer is...
Next question that inevitably is, "Who do you write for?"
My answer:
The final question that makes the predicament apparent, "If you write for yourself, why do you want to publish it? Why make it public? Why not keep it hidden in a secret dairy? Why even write a blog?"
I struggle, cringe and sweat. But then more often than not, my answer is:
And then I get that inevitable look of confusion, distrust, mockery from people. Even from good friends. And I dont know what to tell them. Now you see? The predicament. I wonder how do other writers answer these questions. I wonder what about other artists? I can hazard a guess that any art has to be commercially viable for it to take off in the long run and hence the publishing etc. But then who am I to mix art and commerce.
No?
P.S.: If you are interested in writers talking about writing, do see www.onWriting.in. I ask Indian writers 5 questions about writing and publish these on this blog. No, so far I havent published my answers. I think I'll wait till Oct for that. Why? Because The Nidhi Kapoor Story comes out then!
Disclaimer.
Writing is something that did not happen to me naturally. I had to work hard on it. Took me 10 odd years of consistent rambling on this blog to be able to realize that I could write a book.
In fact this blog helped me realize that I loved writing.
Now, coming to questions, the first question that I get asked is, "Why do I write?"
And my answer is...
I write because I love writing. Its like my fix, its my poison. Its my kick. It makes me happy. There is nothing else that I have been able to discover that allows to get me in the zone, in the flow.
Same zone, same flow that athletes get into when they are performing at their peak. Same zone where yogis get in when they are meditating. Same zone where coders are when they spend nights after nights working on lines and lines of code.
Next question that inevitably is, "Who do you write for?"
My answer:
Ofcourse I write for myself. Apart from a secret blog that I write for sgMS, for her to read, everything I write is for me.
Not for readers. Not for friends. Not for family, not for strangers, not for anyone else. It's for me.
It has to give me that happiness. It has to please me. Everything is about me when I write.
And no, I am not a narcissist. As yet.
The final question that makes the predicament apparent, "If you write for yourself, why do you want to publish it? Why make it public? Why not keep it hidden in a secret dairy? Why even write a blog?"
I struggle, cringe and sweat. But then more often than not, my answer is:
Because I like the idea that what I write has the ability to go beyond the borders. What I write can spread. What I write can help me meet more people. It can open doors. It can broaden my horizons. Having someone else read what I have written gives me an opportunity to improve my craft. It allows me to get feedback. It's the reality check.
And then I get that inevitable look of confusion, distrust, mockery from people. Even from good friends. And I dont know what to tell them. Now you see? The predicament. I wonder how do other writers answer these questions. I wonder what about other artists? I can hazard a guess that any art has to be commercially viable for it to take off in the long run and hence the publishing etc. But then who am I to mix art and commerce.
No?
P.S.: If you are interested in writers talking about writing, do see www.onWriting.in. I ask Indian writers 5 questions about writing and publish these on this blog. No, so far I havent published my answers. I think I'll wait till Oct for that. Why? Because The Nidhi Kapoor Story comes out then!
Lovers at Large
Move over AA. There's a new thing in town. Lovers at Large. The idea, the concept is similar to AA but has a wider score.
Just like in AA (where people who have issues with Alcohol gather and talk about things) Lovers at Large (or LL) is a group of jilted lovers who can't seem to get over the separation. And the separation is wrecking havoc in their personal and work lives.
The scope is larger because unlike alcoholics who know the issues that they are facing, the Lovers at Large don't know that they are suffering from longing and separation. And because of this ignorance they continue to suffer.
Needless to say, I, the founding member of LL, have my reasons for creating this support group.
Its just one reason actually. sgMS. The thing is, I cant get over sgMS. And I know she cares and yet she chooses to ignore me (to participate in all assorted, tiny, insignificant social gatherings that she could totally avoid but she does not). I know she's not seeing anyone but has a room full of tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny and successful guys who continue to accost her. And I know I don't stand a chance if she were to compare me to them. What makes my suffering worse is that she has been telling, and consistently forever, that I am not the one for her and yet I continue to hang onto that little thing called hope, waiting for her to come back. Which I think I now know is not happening.
How do I know? There are signs all over the place. If I were a writer, I would say, "I can see dead and mangled bodies of my dreams and hopes scattered all over the place. Each dream killed with as much indifference as one would swat a fly on the wall" and so on and so forth. But I am not. At least not that kinds. But I can see things have changed. And the change looks irreversible.
Today, in fact was the last nail in the coffin. I just got tipped over the edge. I know I would continue to love her. I know I would continue to pine for her. And I would crave for her attention. But starting today, I shall stop making any effort what so ever from my side.
Wait. This is not about her. Its about LL.
So LL is a support group of people who would come together and talk about their issues. Even if one of us can find solution, find peace, find solace in the group, I think I would have achieved the purpose.
So, if you are a lover at large, you know who to talk to. My doors and mailboxes and ears are always open!
Just like in AA (where people who have issues with Alcohol gather and talk about things) Lovers at Large (or LL) is a group of jilted lovers who can't seem to get over the separation. And the separation is wrecking havoc in their personal and work lives.
The scope is larger because unlike alcoholics who know the issues that they are facing, the Lovers at Large don't know that they are suffering from longing and separation. And because of this ignorance they continue to suffer.
Needless to say, I, the founding member of LL, have my reasons for creating this support group.
Its just one reason actually. sgMS. The thing is, I cant get over sgMS. And I know she cares and yet she chooses to ignore me (to participate in all assorted, tiny, insignificant social gatherings that she could totally avoid but she does not). I know she's not seeing anyone but has a room full of tall, dark, handsome, rich, funny and successful guys who continue to accost her. And I know I don't stand a chance if she were to compare me to them. What makes my suffering worse is that she has been telling, and consistently forever, that I am not the one for her and yet I continue to hang onto that little thing called hope, waiting for her to come back. Which I think I now know is not happening.
How do I know? There are signs all over the place. If I were a writer, I would say, "I can see dead and mangled bodies of my dreams and hopes scattered all over the place. Each dream killed with as much indifference as one would swat a fly on the wall" and so on and so forth. But I am not. At least not that kinds. But I can see things have changed. And the change looks irreversible.
Today, in fact was the last nail in the coffin. I just got tipped over the edge. I know I would continue to love her. I know I would continue to pine for her. And I would crave for her attention. But starting today, I shall stop making any effort what so ever from my side.
Wait. This is not about her. Its about LL.
So LL is a support group of people who would come together and talk about their issues. Even if one of us can find solution, find peace, find solace in the group, I think I would have achieved the purpose.
So, if you are a lover at large, you know who to talk to. My doors and mailboxes and ears are always open!
Tall claim of the day
I just read about this Sci-Fi author called John Scalzi. Apparently, he has written EVERY day on his blog. Since 1998. Wow! I mean I dont even know how many years is that. And how many posts would that translate into. And how many great, good, bad, stupid ideas would that mean!
And here I am, proud about the fact that I maintain this blog since 2004. I mean I dont even know what was I upto in 1998. And most of the blog is like rants of a man who is still a 15-year old school girl in his head (aka Drama Queen).
Anyhow, coming back, the tall claim of the day is: Starting today, I shall write on this blog everyday. Everyday. Till the day I die. I mean till the day before I die because I dont think I would have time to update the blog when I die.
And why would I do that?
Few reasons.
A. I owe a lot of good things in my life to this blog and there is no reason gooder things may not happen to me in future, because of this very blog.
B. I love the concept of serendipity. Let me take a longish route to explain this. You see, one may argue that if I were to write everyday, why cant I write on a notepad and keep it in a lock and key. I can't because when things are locked behind a lock and a key (or hidden in a walled garden), those things, those ideas cant have sex with each other. And thus the lucky chance (serendipity) of gooder, better, grander things coming out of this copulation wont exist. And that would be a shame.
C. Most importantly, this gives me a reason to live. I think I have exhausted most of other reasons to live (read #sgMS). I know I ought to survive and provide for my family and all that. But that, that is not the reason why we live. Is it? That's responsibility. That's like being on the lowest ladder of Maslow's chart. I want to be on the top-most ladder. The one where I am self-actualizing. Whatever that means.
There are issues as well.
For example...
A. There would be days (most days) when I wont have anything interesting to say. My posts wont be lucid enough. And who would gives a damn about what an ill-informed, bald, unemployed, old man living in India has to say about things. But then, I have to do this. For no one else but me.
B. Who would read what I write? After all no other human being could be interested in Poker, Writing, Travel, Culture, Marketing, Blogging, Biking, Music, Films, Social Experiments, Money, Investing and a million other things that I typically write about on my blog!
C. Where is the time to write everyday? What if I am travelling? What if I am tired? What if I am not in the mood?
There are more. But then, I dont need to list those down. I know I am going to do this. And no rational reason would stop me from doing so.
So, in the end, I come back to the tall claim of the day: I repeat, starting today, I shall write on this blog everyday.
And here I am, proud about the fact that I maintain this blog since 2004. I mean I dont even know what was I upto in 1998. And most of the blog is like rants of a man who is still a 15-year old school girl in his head (aka Drama Queen).
Anyhow, coming back, the tall claim of the day is: Starting today, I shall write on this blog everyday. Everyday. Till the day I die. I mean till the day before I die because I dont think I would have time to update the blog when I die.
And why would I do that?
Few reasons.
A. I owe a lot of good things in my life to this blog and there is no reason gooder things may not happen to me in future, because of this very blog.
B. I love the concept of serendipity. Let me take a longish route to explain this. You see, one may argue that if I were to write everyday, why cant I write on a notepad and keep it in a lock and key. I can't because when things are locked behind a lock and a key (or hidden in a walled garden), those things, those ideas cant have sex with each other. And thus the lucky chance (serendipity) of gooder, better, grander things coming out of this copulation wont exist. And that would be a shame.
C. Most importantly, this gives me a reason to live. I think I have exhausted most of other reasons to live (read #sgMS). I know I ought to survive and provide for my family and all that. But that, that is not the reason why we live. Is it? That's responsibility. That's like being on the lowest ladder of Maslow's chart. I want to be on the top-most ladder. The one where I am self-actualizing. Whatever that means.
There are issues as well.
For example...
A. There would be days (most days) when I wont have anything interesting to say. My posts wont be lucid enough. And who would gives a damn about what an ill-informed, bald, unemployed, old man living in India has to say about things. But then, I have to do this. For no one else but me.
B. Who would read what I write? After all no other human being could be interested in Poker, Writing, Travel, Culture, Marketing, Blogging, Biking, Music, Films, Social Experiments, Money, Investing and a million other things that I typically write about on my blog!
C. Where is the time to write everyday? What if I am travelling? What if I am tired? What if I am not in the mood?
There are more. But then, I dont need to list those down. I know I am going to do this. And no rational reason would stop me from doing so.
So, in the end, I come back to the tall claim of the day: I repeat, starting today, I shall write on this blog everyday.
Coming Soon. In Oct 2014.
 |
| Coming Soon!! |
A. I have about two months to get a marketing plan in place.
B. I still have time to get the cover image done the way I want it done. I can now pester friends and strangers alike to help me with the cover. Actually I already did it. Just posted a question on Quora.
C. I have two months to kill. I had thought that I'd start the next one right after the launch. But since the launch is two months away, I can waste time. If I have to publish one book a year, every month counts. And I definitely cant waste two.
D. It give me more jitterbugs in my stomach about how would it do and how would I face audience and critics and all that. I am fearful that people may not like what they read. If that happens, then what? Etc etc.
But all said and done, I can't wait for October. Why? Because #tnks would be out in October! In the meanwhile, if you want, you can help me with tnks!
Originally posted here.
On longing. And separation. And roller coasters.
The last few days weeks months years have been like a roller coaster ride. Actually more than roller coaster, they've been like a ride on the sine curve. No no, a roller coaster. In a sine curve, you can predict the crests and the troughs. And they happen often, with regular frequency. In a roller coaster, you cant predict. You dont know long would the crest last and you never know when would the next crest come.
Thats how my life has been for past few years. Periods of extreme happiness (typically marked by togetherness - crests) and periods of extreme sadness (typically marked by separation - troughs) dotted by things in between (typically marked by longing - the slopes).
With time, these crests are getting smaller, troughs are getting larger and slopes are getting infinitely big. And this ladies and gentlemen is what I would talk about tonight. Its going to be a sob story. So please indulge.
So thing is, I am an adult. I am old by ALL benchmarks. Its been years since someone has called me a young man. And no one would ever call me that ever again. Ever. Ok? Ever. And with each passing day, the amount of time I have left on Mother Earth is reducing. The amount of time that I could spend with that special someone is reducing by the minute. Every minute I spend away from her, I am wasting that.
Because that's all there is to life. There is no deeper, no higher meaning. We are happy accidents that happened when some chemicals played with others and randomly decided to mate. Or amalgamate. Or whatever. Bottom line, I am old.
And despite being old, I refuse to grow up. I refuse to understand why is it necessary for me get rooted to a place. I like moving around. I love the freedom I have. I am proud that I do not have a predictable schedule. And so on and so forth.
To age, the never-settle-down attitude, add one more thing. The on and off relationship that I have with sgMS.
Remember I spoke about roller coasters in the beginning of this post? The relationship is like the roller-coaster. I enjoy it in general but I think I've had enough of it now. I want to be on a highway. With her ofcourse. Thing is, although everytime I go up, I bloat in the anticipation. Everytime I fall down, I am left moaning in agony and everytime I am on the slope, I glow in anticipation. But I think I've had enough of excitement. Everytime I roll down a peak, I almost fall off. It takes serious effort to cling on. And I try to. But I dont know how long would I be able to do so!
Thats how my life has been for past few years. Periods of extreme happiness (typically marked by togetherness - crests) and periods of extreme sadness (typically marked by separation - troughs) dotted by things in between (typically marked by longing - the slopes).
With time, these crests are getting smaller, troughs are getting larger and slopes are getting infinitely big. And this ladies and gentlemen is what I would talk about tonight. Its going to be a sob story. So please indulge.
So thing is, I am an adult. I am old by ALL benchmarks. Its been years since someone has called me a young man. And no one would ever call me that ever again. Ever. Ok? Ever. And with each passing day, the amount of time I have left on Mother Earth is reducing. The amount of time that I could spend with that special someone is reducing by the minute. Every minute I spend away from her, I am wasting that.
Because that's all there is to life. There is no deeper, no higher meaning. We are happy accidents that happened when some chemicals played with others and randomly decided to mate. Or amalgamate. Or whatever. Bottom line, I am old.
And despite being old, I refuse to grow up. I refuse to understand why is it necessary for me get rooted to a place. I like moving around. I love the freedom I have. I am proud that I do not have a predictable schedule. And so on and so forth.
To age, the never-settle-down attitude, add one more thing. The on and off relationship that I have with sgMS.
Remember I spoke about roller coasters in the beginning of this post? The relationship is like the roller-coaster. I enjoy it in general but I think I've had enough of it now. I want to be on a highway. With her ofcourse. Thing is, although everytime I go up, I bloat in the anticipation. Everytime I fall down, I am left moaning in agony and everytime I am on the slope, I glow in anticipation. But I think I've had enough of excitement. Everytime I roll down a peak, I almost fall off. It takes serious effort to cling on. And I try to. But I dont know how long would I be able to do so!
The last 12 months
Its been a year since I quit working full-time.
And its been a fast road down hill since then. Actually no. The year's been really interesting and while I have had a lot of lows, I did have some ups. I thought may be I would make a list. So, in bullet points, in the last 12 months, I...
And its been a fast road down hill since then. Actually no. The year's been really interesting and while I have had a lot of lows, I did have some ups. I thought may be I would make a list. So, in bullet points, in the last 12 months, I...
- finished working on my first book, The Nidhi Kapoor Story (tnks.in and FB page). To be honest I could've done this by March if I was disciplined but then this is the first one and I promise that the next one would be fast. The book should be out by end of August if not sooner.
- traveled to 10 or so countries. Out of these trips, two were with friends (roadtrip across US and backpacking in EU), few were to play poker at casinos (Macau, SL) and rest were work (I still freelance for my ex-employer). There is still 5 months and I hope I get to travel more. Universe, are you listening?
- fell in love all over again. With who else but #sgMS. Yeah, again.
- met a few super duper amazing kind people who have helped me without any ulterior motive or hopes of personal gains. If not for these people, I would've found is extremely hard to even pay my bills.
- learnt and forgot Yoga. I did that to lose weight and it did work. But I lack the discipline to work on it regularly. I think its just too boring. If it were a little more interesting, I would've totally done it. Its wonderful and I could see change in just two months. Wish I had the patience.
- started jogging. I suffer from a condition that prohibits me from running. But what the hell. I will. And I am doing it. I dont enjoy it to be honest but its like a bitter pill that I need to swallow to be able to do well with other things.
- spent everything that I had saved since I started earning. As I write this, my bank balance is so low that I am officially below the poverty line. I am using my credit card to pay my rent. In fact, I got this reminder one fine morning that I have all of Rs. 0.50 to my name. On a side note, do you want to hire me?
- took on and survived the April A2Z challenge. You must try this if you like writing.
- learnt that I am not as great as I think I am. This primarily happened because no one has shown any willingness to hire me. I can claim that I am being choosy and all that but still.
- realized that world is not a fair place and is full of opportunists, small and insecure people. Do read # 4 again please.
- shut down the business that I had started with a few friends.
- ignored this blog (comparatively)
- reduced the amount of time I spend on things like FB and twitter. Initially, I missed the excitement of people wanting to talk to you because you were so active on the Internet. But now, I think I like that I spend more time offline.
And I think this periodic review is a good idea. I just ought to take it seriously. I tried monthly reports for a while but it was too tedious and it wasn't fun. So I abandoned it. However, while working on this, I had to go back in time to see the pictures of the trips I've been on, the the kind of things I posted on my blogs, the kind of emails I exchanged with friends, family and it was fun. May be an yearly thing makes sense!
But before that, in the next 12 months, I ought to write yet another book, find a naukri that allows me to save some money, buy a car and hopefully, get together with sgMS.
P.S.: Need to work on a deck, tentatively titled, In last 12 months, that would have be like a pictorial presentation of things that I did in the last 12 months. In terms of a sneak peak, here is a screenshot.
.jpg) |
| Notification from my bank about a mini-fortune that I've saved with them! |
Perils of Plastic
Ever since I got a Credit Card (which took considerable effort to acquire despite my fancy MBA degree and long illustrious career), my relationship with money has changed.
Let me dive into history. Please indulge me.
There was a time not too long in past when every rupee I spent, I took from my ma. Even though I was gainfully employed, I liked asking her for money. I'd withdraw a chunk of cash and give her and then I'd ask her for money as and when I needed to spend. I loved it. And I think she liked it as well that I asked her for money. After all when I was still a student, she was the one who handed me my pocket money that was so so dear to me. Every rupee that I got from her was precious. It was hard earned and everytime I spent it, I could see the balance with me dwindling. I had to make tons of sacrifices to be able to ensure that the money I got from her lasted me some time before I spread my palms in front of her.
Now, that I am jobless and away from home (home is where ma and pa are, and some day #sgMS would be), I dont really keep a lot of cash handy. There is no incentive to make those trips to the ATM. There is no one to give money to. As a result I rely more and more on plastic money. My credit card. The one that took effort to acquire. Add on top of it the ubiquity and ease of swiping machines, even with courier companies. Everytime I spent more than a 100 bucks, I would use the card. Suddenly from the actual quantum of money going from my pocket, I was now merely swiping a plastic card through a machine and the transaction would happen. Gone was the need to run to ma or ATM. Convenience, I tell you.
And, and, ever since the proliferation of things like flipkart, cleartrip and amazon, I have this new shiny instrument. Online banking. Where I dont even touch plastic or coins or notes. Its amazing. All I do is enter a number and the transaction is done. Its fast, smooth and intuitive. In my sleep I can rattle the card numbers, security keys and passwords. And I can use it for large transactions. And unlike physical currency that went from my pocket or a mechanical swipe of the plastic, everything happens without a physical interface. What else could you ask for in life! The future of payments could be that I walk to a Starbucks counter, point at the coffee I want and just nod at the cash register. Money would automatically deduce from my profile that Starbucks has that is linked to the movement of my retina (indicating a yes for expense) enabled by a NFC between a kiosk at Starbucks and my phone.
Funny how fast this world of payments and transactions is changing!
So, to summarize, from spending money by hand to swiping a piece of plastic to merely disturbing a few electrons, I have changed the way I (and the world around me) spend(s) money.
Money, to me is now largely a number that rests in an account (which is yet another number). I cant see it. I cant touch it. I cant fathom how little or how much do I have. Its a damn number. And like all numbers, without context, it has no meaning. Maths is boring like that.
If I had 10 lakhs in coins, I am assuming it would be like a river of coins that Uncle Scrooge could take a dip in. If I had it in notes, the wad could be a thick like a book. But on a fuzzy webpage, it looks like a number to me. Every time I spend some money, say 10 bucks, since there is no physical contact involved, I dont realize that I've spent it. All I see is the number reducing from 1000000 to 999990. To me, this small reduction in number is not big. And before I know it, all these small reductions make a considerable dent in the stack. All without me realizing it. Without an inflow, the bucket could soon run dry with these small leaks!
The only way out is to go back to the dark ages of cash and budgets. Stop using the numbers and plastic and start handing notes and coins. Even if it means carrying a thick wallet around. At least I would know what I am spending on and I would know where is the money going.
Starting today, I am going to use lot more cash. A smallChange that would help me get frugal (until I become filthy rich).
P.S.: There are apparent advantages of using plastic. I dont have to lug around a lot of cash. I dont have to worry about running out of it and finding ATMs. I earn points that I could redeem to book free tickets to places that I want to visit. I get discounts at places where these credit card companies have tieups at. I get a monthly printed account statement that tells me where all I've spent my money at! And so on and so forth. But, but, I end up spending lot more than I ought to (or want to) spend. I have to control it. Somehow!
Notes to Self
Let me dive into history. Please indulge me.
There was a time not too long in past when every rupee I spent, I took from my ma. Even though I was gainfully employed, I liked asking her for money. I'd withdraw a chunk of cash and give her and then I'd ask her for money as and when I needed to spend. I loved it. And I think she liked it as well that I asked her for money. After all when I was still a student, she was the one who handed me my pocket money that was so so dear to me. Every rupee that I got from her was precious. It was hard earned and everytime I spent it, I could see the balance with me dwindling. I had to make tons of sacrifices to be able to ensure that the money I got from her lasted me some time before I spread my palms in front of her.
Now, that I am jobless and away from home (home is where ma and pa are, and some day #sgMS would be), I dont really keep a lot of cash handy. There is no incentive to make those trips to the ATM. There is no one to give money to. As a result I rely more and more on plastic money. My credit card. The one that took effort to acquire. Add on top of it the ubiquity and ease of swiping machines, even with courier companies. Everytime I spent more than a 100 bucks, I would use the card. Suddenly from the actual quantum of money going from my pocket, I was now merely swiping a plastic card through a machine and the transaction would happen. Gone was the need to run to ma or ATM. Convenience, I tell you.
And, and, ever since the proliferation of things like flipkart, cleartrip and amazon, I have this new shiny instrument. Online banking. Where I dont even touch plastic or coins or notes. Its amazing. All I do is enter a number and the transaction is done. Its fast, smooth and intuitive. In my sleep I can rattle the card numbers, security keys and passwords. And I can use it for large transactions. And unlike physical currency that went from my pocket or a mechanical swipe of the plastic, everything happens without a physical interface. What else could you ask for in life! The future of payments could be that I walk to a Starbucks counter, point at the coffee I want and just nod at the cash register. Money would automatically deduce from my profile that Starbucks has that is linked to the movement of my retina (indicating a yes for expense) enabled by a NFC between a kiosk at Starbucks and my phone.
Funny how fast this world of payments and transactions is changing!
So, to summarize, from spending money by hand to swiping a piece of plastic to merely disturbing a few electrons, I have changed the way I (and the world around me) spend(s) money.
Money, to me is now largely a number that rests in an account (which is yet another number). I cant see it. I cant touch it. I cant fathom how little or how much do I have. Its a damn number. And like all numbers, without context, it has no meaning. Maths is boring like that.
If I had 10 lakhs in coins, I am assuming it would be like a river of coins that Uncle Scrooge could take a dip in. If I had it in notes, the wad could be a thick like a book. But on a fuzzy webpage, it looks like a number to me. Every time I spend some money, say 10 bucks, since there is no physical contact involved, I dont realize that I've spent it. All I see is the number reducing from 1000000 to 999990. To me, this small reduction in number is not big. And before I know it, all these small reductions make a considerable dent in the stack. All without me realizing it. Without an inflow, the bucket could soon run dry with these small leaks!
The only way out is to go back to the dark ages of cash and budgets. Stop using the numbers and plastic and start handing notes and coins. Even if it means carrying a thick wallet around. At least I would know what I am spending on and I would know where is the money going.
Starting today, I am going to use lot more cash. A smallChange that would help me get frugal (until I become filthy rich).
P.S.: There are apparent advantages of using plastic. I dont have to lug around a lot of cash. I dont have to worry about running out of it and finding ATMs. I earn points that I could redeem to book free tickets to places that I want to visit. I get discounts at places where these credit card companies have tieups at. I get a monthly printed account statement that tells me where all I've spent my money at! And so on and so forth. But, but, I end up spending lot more than I ought to (or want to) spend. I have to control it. Somehow!
Notes to Self
- Read the difference between "which" and "that"
- Restart thinking / working on frugal life
I am back!
I am back!
Where did I go you may ask? Somewhere. Someplace. Here and there. At a place where I was away from a computer. I did have internet but it was on a handheld and since I am too lazy to type on a handheld, however convenient it may be, I didn't really write.
So I was away for a large part of a month and when I came back, I realized that nothing had changed. True that the Football World Cup fever had engulfed everyone alive and eyebrows were raised on Mr. Modi's first budget and a few countries were fighting with each other over petty things. But apart from that nothing of consequence happened. Its like that slow and steady chipping on a rock where you chip away the edges so slow that you cant perceive. And after a while, the rock takes an entirely new shape.
Looking at things around me, I think everything is like that damn rock, taking newer shapes with time, without me noticing. Everything, from the world at large to things like relationships, people, thoughts, everything is changing. Slowly, imperceptibly, gradually. It it. does. It has. It will.
And there is nothing that I or anyone else could do about it.
Anyhow, in other news, the edit on the book is done. I need to re-write some part and I am hoping to get it done within a week or so. And hopefully, the book would be out by July.
The big new, I have started working on the next one. So far, the plot is hazy but like #tnks, I hope to write the first draft by end of the year (2014). And then I'd take it up from there.
And, and I need to find a naukri. I got this SMS in the morning from my bank that said that the bank balance is Rs. 0.50. Egads! Need to work on that. Have had enough with living on udhaar. Need to do something about it. Like Now! But, before that, let me go write some.
And until, next time!
P.S.: Like multiple times in the past, I promise to be regular with blogging.
Where did I go you may ask? Somewhere. Someplace. Here and there. At a place where I was away from a computer. I did have internet but it was on a handheld and since I am too lazy to type on a handheld, however convenient it may be, I didn't really write.
So I was away for a large part of a month and when I came back, I realized that nothing had changed. True that the Football World Cup fever had engulfed everyone alive and eyebrows were raised on Mr. Modi's first budget and a few countries were fighting with each other over petty things. But apart from that nothing of consequence happened. Its like that slow and steady chipping on a rock where you chip away the edges so slow that you cant perceive. And after a while, the rock takes an entirely new shape.
Looking at things around me, I think everything is like that damn rock, taking newer shapes with time, without me noticing. Everything, from the world at large to things like relationships, people, thoughts, everything is changing. Slowly, imperceptibly, gradually. It it. does. It has. It will.
And there is nothing that I or anyone else could do about it.
Anyhow, in other news, the edit on the book is done. I need to re-write some part and I am hoping to get it done within a week or so. And hopefully, the book would be out by July.
The big new, I have started working on the next one. So far, the plot is hazy but like #tnks, I hope to write the first draft by end of the year (2014). And then I'd take it up from there.
And, and I need to find a naukri. I got this SMS in the morning from my bank that said that the bank balance is Rs. 0.50. Egads! Need to work on that. Have had enough with living on udhaar. Need to do something about it. Like Now! But, before that, let me go write some.
And until, next time!
P.S.: Like multiple times in the past, I promise to be regular with blogging.
On the road...
I'd be on the road for the next 18 or so days.
I may come back with the idea for the next book, or may be a collection of short stories. Or nothing at all. That's the point of travel. Right? When you just leave without an agenda?
I may come back with the idea for the next book, or may be a collection of short stories. Or nothing at all. That's the point of travel. Right? When you just leave without an agenda?
Dear sgMS
Dear sgMS,
Its been some time that I've written into you. Today is as good a day as any to do so. And here I am. Actually, to be honest, today, I am missing you so so so much more than other days. I dont know why. I know I have promised in the past that I would try to move on. I tried to. You know it. But I cant. No, you are not to blame.
So I am going away for three weeks. I wont have access to email or phone and I wont know how to stalk you. Good thing is that I would be with someone who I can confide in. So may be I wont crave for you as much. But then may be I would. Yeah yeah I am an indecisive fuck. I dont know what I want and I dont know how to get it.
Once I am back, please grant me darshan. Its been some time that I've met you. No?
In the meanwhile, stay good. Stay happy.
Love,
SG
Its been some time that I've written into you. Today is as good a day as any to do so. And here I am. Actually, to be honest, today, I am missing you so so so much more than other days. I dont know why. I know I have promised in the past that I would try to move on. I tried to. You know it. But I cant. No, you are not to blame.
So I am going away for three weeks. I wont have access to email or phone and I wont know how to stalk you. Good thing is that I would be with someone who I can confide in. So may be I wont crave for you as much. But then may be I would. Yeah yeah I am an indecisive fuck. I dont know what I want and I dont know how to get it.
Once I am back, please grant me darshan. Its been some time that I've met you. No?
In the meanwhile, stay good. Stay happy.
Love,
SG
Tumko Dekha To Ye Khayal
What do you do on a Sunday evening when you are randomly depressed? You turn onto youtube and hunt for some nice interesting mushy music. And that's when you stumble onto Jagjit Singh singing Tumko Dekha To Ye Khayal Aaya.
This has to be amongst the best written AND performed love songs of all time. All time. Here. Enjoy it. I would some day, write a longer post about this.
Here is the lyrics...
Tumako dekha, to yeh khayaal aaya
Jindagi dhoop tum ghana saaya
Aaj phir dil ne ik tamanna ki
Aaj phir dil ko hamane samjhaaya
Tumako dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Tum chale jaaoge toh sochenge
Hamane kya khoya hamane kya paaya
Tumako dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Hum jise gunguna nahi sakate
Waqt ne aisa geet kyun gaaya
Tumako dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Dear Gloria Jeans Coffee
Dear Gloria Jeans Coffee,
Thank you. Thank you for being rude to my friends and me. Thank you for telling us to leave your store unless we ordered "once every hour". Thank you for breaking all faith, all trust that you had earned over the years.
I know that you are in the business of selling (often overpriced) beverages and (often bad quality) food to (often) unsuspecting patrons like myself. No, I dont blame you. You are not alone. There are multiple businesses offering exact same thing. In fact one of them is headed towards an IPO! After all the incomes are rising, people have money to spend and we Indians love to go out. I also know that the business requires people to spend long hours and order these beverages and keep the cash register ringing. I also know that there are people like me who sit at your air-conditioned cafes for long hours and keep otherpatrons customers away.
But then, if the entire cafe was empty and were not preventing any other customers from occupying those empty places. We were not loud. We were not rude. We were not out of place. We merely wanted to sit for sometime to make a presentation that we could take to an investor and raise money for our business. If we could sit, finish the deck and got the money, you could have been part of our story. Just like Starbucks is a part of my first book. Dear Gloria Jeans, you lost the opportunity. In fact, if I dont get the required money from the prospective investor, like a sore loser, I could blame you. No?
You know, I am not really out of place. Between the three of my friends we had ordered food and beverages worth 1200 bucks. Despite that, is it right for you to ask us to "order something once every hour?" May be it is. The place where I come from, we often say, "atithi devo bhava," the guest is like a God. May be you guys are different.
To be honest, your barista was really courteous during the entire episode. When we asked him why, he told us that "he is questioned" if we sat "idle" and "without a drink" in front of us. Company policy. Sigh! You know Gloria Jeans dear, more businesses have had to shut shop because of these company policies than any other reason.
Of course its your premises and you have the right to refuse admission. But did you refuse admission? No. Did you refuse to serve me? No. Did you throw me out once I gave you money? Yes! At least thats how I felt. And no, I am not exaggerating. And I am not the kinds to crib and rant about businesses unless something really ticks me off. You have ticked me off.
You know, I may not be a celebrity and I definitely don't have access to television and other such large mediums. And one irate customer cant really do much. Too small and too insignificant. But I can ensure that I never spend any money at any of your outlets anymore. And I can urge all my friends to not visit a Gloria Jeans. Not in Mumbai. Not in India. Not anywhere in the world.
I know, I am too small, too insignificant in the large scheme of things. But then, like Pink Floyd says, we're all just another brick in the ball.
No?
Anyhow, all the best for your future endeavors. To me it looks bleak. But I have been wrong in the past. I sincerely hope this time I am not.
Regards,
A regular patron who will not spend any money at any of your stores anytime soon.
Thank you. Thank you for being rude to my friends and me. Thank you for telling us to leave your store unless we ordered "once every hour". Thank you for breaking all faith, all trust that you had earned over the years.
I know that you are in the business of selling (often overpriced) beverages and (often bad quality) food to (often) unsuspecting patrons like myself. No, I dont blame you. You are not alone. There are multiple businesses offering exact same thing. In fact one of them is headed towards an IPO! After all the incomes are rising, people have money to spend and we Indians love to go out. I also know that the business requires people to spend long hours and order these beverages and keep the cash register ringing. I also know that there are people like me who sit at your air-conditioned cafes for long hours and keep other
But then, if the entire cafe was empty and were not preventing any other customers from occupying those empty places. We were not loud. We were not rude. We were not out of place. We merely wanted to sit for sometime to make a presentation that we could take to an investor and raise money for our business. If we could sit, finish the deck and got the money, you could have been part of our story. Just like Starbucks is a part of my first book. Dear Gloria Jeans, you lost the opportunity. In fact, if I dont get the required money from the prospective investor, like a sore loser, I could blame you. No?
You know, I am not really out of place. Between the three of my friends we had ordered food and beverages worth 1200 bucks. Despite that, is it right for you to ask us to "order something once every hour?" May be it is. The place where I come from, we often say, "atithi devo bhava," the guest is like a God. May be you guys are different.
To be honest, your barista was really courteous during the entire episode. When we asked him why, he told us that "he is questioned" if we sat "idle" and "without a drink" in front of us. Company policy. Sigh! You know Gloria Jeans dear, more businesses have had to shut shop because of these company policies than any other reason.
Of course its your premises and you have the right to refuse admission. But did you refuse admission? No. Did you refuse to serve me? No. Did you throw me out once I gave you money? Yes! At least thats how I felt. And no, I am not exaggerating. And I am not the kinds to crib and rant about businesses unless something really ticks me off. You have ticked me off.
You know, I may not be a celebrity and I definitely don't have access to television and other such large mediums. And one irate customer cant really do much. Too small and too insignificant. But I can ensure that I never spend any money at any of your outlets anymore. And I can urge all my friends to not visit a Gloria Jeans. Not in Mumbai. Not in India. Not anywhere in the world.
I know, I am too small, too insignificant in the large scheme of things. But then, like Pink Floyd says, we're all just another brick in the ball.
No?
Anyhow, all the best for your future endeavors. To me it looks bleak. But I have been wrong in the past. I sincerely hope this time I am not.
Regards,
A regular patron who will not spend any money at any of your stores anytime soon.
Soul searching 102
There is no place in the world for jack of all trades. At least not in India. Everyone wants to hire an expert. Someone who's been there and done that. Someone who thinks in a silo. Someone who has never dared to venture out of their comfort zone. Someone who's a conformist.
Sorry to say but the world (at least the bit around me) does not reward the ones who try things. Its like a negative spiral. You fall into once and you can never come up again!
Of course I chasehappiness happyness all the time. But right now, this part, this part of being fucked up, sucks like hell. Need to find a way out. Soon.
Sorry to say but the world (at least the bit around me) does not reward the ones who try things. Its like a negative spiral. You fall into once and you can never come up again!
So, you see, I can crib. Crib for like ten hours. For ever if I have to. About how tough I am finding to find a naukri. I always thought that with my (almost) fancy degree, it would be a walk in the park, in any kind of economic environment, anywhere in the world. But now I realize how wrong was I. I have never been more wrong. So wrong that I am left in the lurch. Lurch may be too harsh. But I am definitely not happy.
But like most experiences, this one has taught me a few things. Here is a list...
1. When you are falling, you fall like a hot knife through butter. You just go through everything between you and rockbottom. Its thin air and you fall fast. I went from extreme happiness and carelessness to bouts of anxiety in less than two weeks. All this when my first book is almost ready to hit the market.
2. You are alone. And like Steve says, you're naked. There may be God but he has his funny ways. I am not fond of him anyhow. Apart from you, no one else loses sleep over what you're going through. They may want to, but they cant. Sleep is like that monster that makes everyone a slave.
3. You are not anyone else's priority. Everyone would want to help, commit to help but help would be half-measures. Not because they dont like you. Not because they dont want to help you. But because they have other priorities. And you're second-fiddle at best. In fact I can put myself in others' shoes. How often has someone asked for my help and how many times did I actually help em? not enough! You reap what you sow. So may be, going forward, will help as many people as I can.
4. Dont take things for granted. I have been a happy-go-lucky dude all my life. So much so when people around me were buying houses and cars and making millions of rupees in their cushy jobs, I would laugh it out loud. Now, for some reason, it has started to suck. The dwindling bank balance has started to bother. Not being able to pay for drinks and food when you step out, it sucks. Everyone, including friends and family, treating you like a liability is even worse. Again, its about you. You being alone. And all that.
5. The world around me is transactional. You give me something and I would give you something back. And everyone wants to emerge as a winner. On top. Nothing wrong with it. Darwin knew this long before any of us could even comprehend. Either you fight and you come on top. Or you slither away to obscurity.
6. If you are nobody, nobody wants to talk to you. Not friends, not neighbors, not strangers, not prospective dates. Not prospective employers. When I had a naukri, I would regularly get calls from everyone wanting to hire me. And since I've been in the job market, no one wants to hire me! Sigh!
So.. What else? I dont know. I mean I know but I am not going to talk about it here. May be on the secret blog. Or evernote.
Yeah. This is it. For the time being. Of course all these are first-world issues. Since I've been blesseed Lets see how many of these sessions can I do before I either succumb to pressure. Or find a way out. Either way, this will stop. In the words of Chris, this part of my life, I call it "internship being fucked up in my head."
4. Dont take things for granted. I have been a happy-go-lucky dude all my life. So much so when people around me were buying houses and cars and making millions of rupees in their cushy jobs, I would laugh it out loud. Now, for some reason, it has started to suck. The dwindling bank balance has started to bother. Not being able to pay for drinks and food when you step out, it sucks. Everyone, including friends and family, treating you like a liability is even worse. Again, its about you. You being alone. And all that.
5. The world around me is transactional. You give me something and I would give you something back. And everyone wants to emerge as a winner. On top. Nothing wrong with it. Darwin knew this long before any of us could even comprehend. Either you fight and you come on top. Or you slither away to obscurity.
6. If you are nobody, nobody wants to talk to you. Not friends, not neighbors, not strangers, not prospective dates. Not prospective employers. When I had a naukri, I would regularly get calls from everyone wanting to hire me. And since I've been in the job market, no one wants to hire me! Sigh!
So.. What else? I dont know. I mean I know but I am not going to talk about it here. May be on the secret blog. Or evernote.
Yeah. This is it. For the time being. Of course all these are first-world issues. Since I've been blesseed Lets see how many of these sessions can I do before I either succumb to pressure. Or find a way out. Either way, this will stop. In the words of Chris, this part of my life, I call it "
Of course I chase
Hope I dont forget these. Once I get a place of my own, this is something that I would pin to my board for sure.
P.S.: Here is Soul searching 101.
P.S.: Here is Soul searching 101.
Monthly Report - May 2014
The fifth month of the year is gone. Here is the update.
Here are the thing that I did in this month
Here are the thing that I did in this month
- #tnks was accepted by Grapevine. This means that I will be a published author in a few months. Yay!
- Had a net black month with poker. Hope to continue the run in June.
- Still jobless. Like I was in May. And the months before that. I am looking for a naukri that gives me some money and some time. If you know of places that want to hire someone with 8 years of work-ex post MBA, please let me know. Some of my details are on my linkedin profile. I did interview at a few places and I now know how it feels to be on the asking side.
- Launched onWriting.in. I dont know where would it end but I like what I've done with it. People have already said that its helpful for struggling writers. So a minor victory there!
- I am traveling for almost 10 days in June. So I have like 20 days. In these 20 days, two key things would be onWriting.in and tnks' edit.
- If I get time, I want to do things for Feb, Mar, Apr (
sellgiveaway sgElectra, work on Cpt Obv, ISIN and next plot) - Clear Evernote.
- #poker. See all of grisped on youtube.
- #36to30. I am done with Yoga. I would restart once I find a naukri. Meanwhile, I am trying to walk 10000 steps everyday. I post my progress here.
Hello Grapevine India!
First posted at tnks blog.
I am so so happy and so so proud to announce that The Nidhi Kapoor Story (web, facebook) has been accepted by Grapevine India. If all goes well from here on, we are looking at releasing the book by August of this year.
Its a big big moment. And I am totally excited about it.
Publishing a book has been on my bucket list for longest time ever. Took me some time but its here. Of course a lot of people have helped me do this. I am grateful for having access to such great people.
I may argue that its the end of a long-cherished and a long-held dream. But honestly, I think its just the beginning. Now that I have gone through the grind of writing a full-length story, there is no way I am going to stop now.
#tnks would be the first in a long line of books that I would eventually write and publish. To be honest, I already have a list of ideas and plots that I want to extend into books. Of course a travel book (another thing from my bucket list) is up on the cards. I intend to start with the next one in September (when I take my week off). But, for the time being, I want to focus on #tnks and creating a kickass book that people enjoy reading.
I sincerely hope that you'd like it and #tnks would be worth your time and money. This is what you can expect from #tnks.
Oh, I need all the help that I can get. It could come in shape of pre-orders, marketing ideas, distribution ideas, contacts of other people who may help. If you think you can help me, please add your name to the form below and I would be in touch.
You may alternatively click on this link to fill details later.
Thanks!
Soul searching 101
Since I quit last year, I have been on soul-searching ride. I am trying to understand where I come from and what is my purpose. Why did Mother Nature create me and why did She make me the way I am.
Of course the answers are not easy and I am definitely not the working hard kinds. I want to enjoy life as it comes and I dont like to plan ahead.
But then, Mother Nature and Providence has their funny ways. Since its been almost a year now, the money that I had saved is running out fast. And once I realized that I was running out of money, I thought I needed to findmeaningful employment.
And this is when the real stirring of mind happened. This is when soul-searching happened. Of course I am no where close to finding the meaning of life but stirring and soul-searching is a painful process. I now know the agony and despair of a man with limited means. I now understand where why they do things they do. I know what it is like when dreams get shattered. I appreciate the lyrics of Bawra Man and genius of Swanand Kirkire. The poets and writers and speakers and thinkers and other such people, respect!
Thing with searching for a naukri is that you need to shed all your clothes and stand naked. Naked to the mercy of things and people and situations that are beyond your control. You need to pimp yourself. You need to ask for favours. You need to glorify your microscopic achievements. You need to think of things that would make your noticeable, even when you dont want to be noticed. And you need to do it all the time. Say after day. Application after application. Recruiter after recruiter. Till you are either tired of it. Or someone takes mercy on you!
You have to bare your soul and lay it on a platter to the person on the other side. You then hope like hell that they like what you have offered. After the interaction, if that happens, there is this agonizing period where you wait for the other party to come back with their decision.
If the decision is not in your favor, more often than not, the other party does not bother to inform you. You are left to fend for yourself. The wait that was supposed to end in a few days extends into weeks and then eventually months. You, as an applicant, go through various emotions. From hope and expectation (of getting a naukri) to reason (they may be late because they may be stuck) to denial (how can they reject me or I didnt want to join anyway) to anger (I hate the company) to despair (damn, money is running out). Each of these emotions peel yet another layer from your onion-like soul.
However, the good part is that this experience of knocking on doors, both open and close, both known and unknown, both friendly and hostile, is priming me for the next big task ahead of me. I guess it would require even more stirring, more anxious nights, more heartburn. The one where I am supposed to talk about my upcoming book to everyone in the world. Did you like it on Facebook yet?
Disclaimer
Of course all these are applicable to someone like me. Mediocre, average, nothing great to boast of, no awards, no concrete output, lack of social skills, stubborn and all that! The ones on the other end, the ones who are in demand, must have a different experience altogether. That of ecstasy, elation, happiness and pride. I dont know how that works. I may, sometime in future. But not right now.
Of course the answers are not easy and I am definitely not the working hard kinds. I want to enjoy life as it comes and I dont like to plan ahead.
But then, Mother Nature and Providence has their funny ways. Since its been almost a year now, the money that I had saved is running out fast. And once I realized that I was running out of money, I thought I needed to find
And this is when the real stirring of mind happened. This is when soul-searching happened. Of course I am no where close to finding the meaning of life but stirring and soul-searching is a painful process. I now know the agony and despair of a man with limited means. I now understand where why they do things they do. I know what it is like when dreams get shattered. I appreciate the lyrics of Bawra Man and genius of Swanand Kirkire. The poets and writers and speakers and thinkers and other such people, respect!
Thing with searching for a naukri is that you need to shed all your clothes and stand naked. Naked to the mercy of things and people and situations that are beyond your control. You need to pimp yourself. You need to ask for favours. You need to glorify your microscopic achievements. You need to think of things that would make your noticeable, even when you dont want to be noticed. And you need to do it all the time. Say after day. Application after application. Recruiter after recruiter. Till you are either tired of it. Or someone takes mercy on you!
You have to bare your soul and lay it on a platter to the person on the other side. You then hope like hell that they like what you have offered. After the interaction, if that happens, there is this agonizing period where you wait for the other party to come back with their decision.
If the decision is not in your favor, more often than not, the other party does not bother to inform you. You are left to fend for yourself. The wait that was supposed to end in a few days extends into weeks and then eventually months. You, as an applicant, go through various emotions. From hope and expectation (of getting a naukri) to reason (they may be late because they may be stuck) to denial (how can they reject me or I didnt want to join anyway) to anger (I hate the company) to despair (damn, money is running out). Each of these emotions peel yet another layer from your onion-like soul.
However, the good part is that this experience of knocking on doors, both open and close, both known and unknown, both friendly and hostile, is priming me for the next big task ahead of me. I guess it would require even more stirring, more anxious nights, more heartburn. The one where I am supposed to talk about my upcoming book to everyone in the world. Did you like it on Facebook yet?
Disclaimer
Of course all these are applicable to someone like me. Mediocre, average, nothing great to boast of, no awards, no concrete output, lack of social skills, stubborn and all that! The ones on the other end, the ones who are in demand, must have a different experience altogether. That of ecstasy, elation, happiness and pride. I dont know how that works. I may, sometime in future. But not right now.
Lean Mean Fighting Machine
 |
| 27 May 2014 |
A. The Nidhi Kapoor Story (website, 200+ likes on fb)
B. 30"
That's all. Nothing else is important. I dont want anything else from 2014.
Money, fame, love, #sgMS, cars, travel, comfort, chase of the new new thing, plans to take over the world, bucket list, ride to Leh, long-distance cross-country rides, serial murders, financial wizardry, Priyanka Chopra, awards, conversations, coffee with Karan, 100 likes on a FB post, 10,000 twitter followers, houses, writing for magazines etc could wait. The two things, A and B, cant.
So, A, the book, is done. The goal was to get a book published this year. And I think I am comfortable on that front right now. Its now on a publisher's desk. The ball is not in my court. I am waiting for the publisher to look at it and tell me if its good enough to be out in the market. Lets see how that goes. There's this calm on that front. There's nothing that I can do about it. I mean I can send it to more publishers but someone has shown faith in me and I need to stick with them. Its all about faith and its about people. Right?
On the other, B, 30", I am actually worse off than I was when I started. The goal for the year was to reduce my girth to 30" (from the current 36"). I even waged an iPhone with a friend. So thanks to this bet, I did make a good start. I joined yoga classes and actually enjoyed the time I spent there. I was even regular with it. As side-effect, I started to notice what I ate and I lost more inches. I walked 10 000 steps most days and it showed. I almost became a lean mean fighting machine. No no, kidding. Not the machine but I did lose weight and I did enjoy while it lasted.
But in last month or so, I have lost all the progress I made over the last few months. I am as fat as I was at the end of the last year. I am as lethargic. I am as lazy. I am unhealthy and I know it. And worse, I dont know how to fix it. I mean I can. All it needs is 10 000 steps everyday. No? I plan to start all of it again soon. May be once I get a naukri. Wait a minute. What soon? Why not today? And now?
So right after I hit the publish button, I'd go for my 10 000 steps. And once I am back, I will update this post with the screenshot of my 10 000 steps for the day. And I'd do it tomorrow. And day after. And the day after that. Till I am back to being the lean mean fighting machine!
P.S.: I just hope that the battery in the phone lasts that long!
Update. I did about 4.5K steps. I just couldnt go any more. A start none the less.
How to? For the lazy ones.
No, you're not the only lazy person that you know of. There are more. So many that there is this entire corner of the world wide web reserved for them. Trust me. Ok dont. But just search for procrastination, getting things done, to-do lists, productivity, life hacking and more. Each sounds like an interesting buzzword with a million interpretations. But all of these are essentially talk to the same set of people. Lazy ones. Like me. Like you.
I have always had a million ideas that could possibly put a ding in the universe. But since I have always been lazy, I never pursued any idea. But with Nidhi Kapoor, somehow I got lucky. Despite my legendary laziness, I could work on it for more than 9 months and actually finish it.
Someone asked me how did I do. And since I am all for sharing, here is a list of things that I did to make it happen.
1. Create a large measurable output.
A novella of 30 posts, each post with 1000 words.
Lose 2 inches in a month. Takes 10000 steps every day.
Money? 10 lakhs a month. Health? 6 packs. Travel? 100 counties. So on and so forth.
I try to create a large audacious goal that I want to achieve. And then I try to make it measurable. A goal that is not measurable is not a goal at all. Its just wishful thinking.
2. Divide things into tiny, measurable and tangible goals.
20 minutes of yoga. 1000 words a day. 10000 steps a day. 1 country per month.
Key words are tiny, measurable and tangible. Without these three, all goals are meaningless. There is nothing like "few" or "some". Moment you make a tiny task that has "few" in it, please know that its doomed. It wont happen. I can bet my ass on it.
There's a simple test to know if the goals you set are correct. If you can see, notice and talk about the progress you're making against the goal, you are on track.
For example, over a period of time, 1000 word everyday get compiled into a nice thick book. Use some app on your phone and you would have a nice chart with all the steps you've walked over the days. So on and so forth.
3. Share the large goal and tiny tasks with the world.
Subject yourself to public ridicule.
If possible, get a couple of likeminded people and do it with them. You can write from the comfort of your home. They could walk on a track close to their place. But report to each other. Be each other's boss and subordinate at the same time. Help each other. Remember that standing on the shoulders of giants?
Public ridicule is probably the most powerful motivational force that is ignored. Make a commitment on Facebook and then ask your closest friend to take your happiness on FB if you don't do things. I promise you would do things just to stop your friends from posting things on FB.
If your friends refuse to help you by ridiculing you, I volunteer to do so. What say?
4. Celebrate. Every day and when you achieve the large ultimate goals.
The way daily tiny goals are important, you ought to celebrate the achievement of those goals. For example, everytime I write those 1000 words, I go and buy myself a Diet Coke. You may buy yourself an icecream. Or one hour of Internet. Etc.
Get addicted to these rewards. The goal thus become like a precursor to these rewards. More you crave for the awards, more passionately you'd chase your goals.
Same for that large goal. Make the award so big that you want it at any cost. When I finished my book, I told myself that I would go travel at a firang destination. And I am going in June. Fingers crossed.
Thats it! When you do achieve your goal, do share with me. Would love to see what you cook up!
All the best! And do "like" the FB page for my book ;P Its at facebook.com/TheNidhiKapoorStory.
P.S.: Please note that this is not scientific at all. This is something that has worked for me and may or may not work for you. But do try.
Credits
Thanks to SG26Jul for the idea.
I have always had a million ideas that could possibly put a ding in the universe. But since I have always been lazy, I never pursued any idea. But with Nidhi Kapoor, somehow I got lucky. Despite my legendary laziness, I could work on it for more than 9 months and actually finish it.
Someone asked me how did I do. And since I am all for sharing, here is a list of things that I did to make it happen.
1. Create a large measurable output.
A novella of 30 posts, each post with 1000 words.
Lose 2 inches in a month. Takes 10000 steps every day.
Money? 10 lakhs a month. Health? 6 packs. Travel? 100 counties. So on and so forth.
I try to create a large audacious goal that I want to achieve. And then I try to make it measurable. A goal that is not measurable is not a goal at all. Its just wishful thinking.
2. Divide things into tiny, measurable and tangible goals.
20 minutes of yoga. 1000 words a day. 10000 steps a day. 1 country per month.
Key words are tiny, measurable and tangible. Without these three, all goals are meaningless. There is nothing like "few" or "some". Moment you make a tiny task that has "few" in it, please know that its doomed. It wont happen. I can bet my ass on it.
There's a simple test to know if the goals you set are correct. If you can see, notice and talk about the progress you're making against the goal, you are on track.
For example, over a period of time, 1000 word everyday get compiled into a nice thick book. Use some app on your phone and you would have a nice chart with all the steps you've walked over the days. So on and so forth.
3. Share the large goal and tiny tasks with the world.
Subject yourself to public ridicule.
If possible, get a couple of likeminded people and do it with them. You can write from the comfort of your home. They could walk on a track close to their place. But report to each other. Be each other's boss and subordinate at the same time. Help each other. Remember that standing on the shoulders of giants?
Public ridicule is probably the most powerful motivational force that is ignored. Make a commitment on Facebook and then ask your closest friend to take your happiness on FB if you don't do things. I promise you would do things just to stop your friends from posting things on FB.
If your friends refuse to help you by ridiculing you, I volunteer to do so. What say?
4. Celebrate. Every day and when you achieve the large ultimate goals.
The way daily tiny goals are important, you ought to celebrate the achievement of those goals. For example, everytime I write those 1000 words, I go and buy myself a Diet Coke. You may buy yourself an icecream. Or one hour of Internet. Etc.
Get addicted to these rewards. The goal thus become like a precursor to these rewards. More you crave for the awards, more passionately you'd chase your goals.
Same for that large goal. Make the award so big that you want it at any cost. When I finished my book, I told myself that I would go travel at a firang destination. And I am going in June. Fingers crossed.
Thats it! When you do achieve your goal, do share with me. Would love to see what you cook up!
All the best! And do "like" the FB page for my book ;P Its at facebook.com/TheNidhiKapoorStory.
P.S.: Please note that this is not scientific at all. This is something that has worked for me and may or may not work for you. But do try.
Credits
Thanks to SG26Jul for the idea.
Z. Zone.
This is a part of the April A to Z Challenge. My theme is my Bucket List. Read about it here. Other posts in the A to Z Challenge: Ancient Ruins, Book, Coffee Shop, Date a Supermodel, Entrepreneurship, (Be a) Finisher, Give Away my Wealth, Handle a Baby, Inspire, Jack of all trades, Keep my shirt on, Make a lot of money, No, Off the Grid, Poker, Question Everything, Run a Marathon, Settle in the mountains, Teach, Up in the Air, (Master the) Vedas, War of Words, X-men and Yell out loud. This is the last post in the series.
Z. Z for Zone. In the zone. Perpetually. Zone means flow. Flow means being at the top of the game. Its the mental state where things happen automatically and you dont need to put in effort. Its where you are so immersed in the activity that you lose track of time, effort, energy, money, other considerations.
Imagine a singer practicing for herself. Imagine a gambler winning hand after hand after hand after hand. Imagine a lover trying to woo his love. Or a child trying to erect sand castles on a beach. Think of the arched brows of a sniper trying to take a headshot. Imagine a writer typing away to glory with the din of a coffee shop as the background. A biker on a long unwinding road with the constant hum of the motorcycle underneath him.
That! That is being in the zone. And I want to be in that zone perpetually. If not that, than all the time. And I want to a
There was a time when I could spend hours playing Counter-Strike. I wasnt really good at it but everytime I played, every fucking time I played, I got in the zone. Easy. It was a given that if I fire up a session of CS, Id be in zone. Same when I was a pseudo-coder years back. And when I played Q3A.
After that things changed and I got a college degree. Since then most things I do require me to juggle multiple things at a time. As a result I havent experienced the zone much. Except when I am writing at a Starbucks. Or some other coffee shop. Or a comfortable chair and a table. I am that kind of person. External things are important to me. If they are in place, I can get in zone easy. If they are not, I may try hard but I wont ever go there.
So, since college, its been getting tough and tough to get in the zone. I dont know what to blame it on. One of the things that I want from like is that whatever I do, what I put my hand in, it has to be that immersive that I get in the zone instantly. There were times when I got there while I was working on #tnks. I just need to get more such things going for me. Sad bit is that #tnks would not give me financial independence but if it did, I would it would be a perfect way to live life. Because, thats all there is to life. Zone. And the chase of these zones.
With this, ladies and gentlemen, my stack of posts for a2z2014 is done. Hope you enjoyed reading the posts as much as I enjoyed writing. Took me 5 extra days but it was worth the wait.
Onto the next project. And onto regular blogging with inane updates about tiny things that I like doing.
Z. Z for Zone. In the zone. Perpetually. Zone means flow. Flow means being at the top of the game. Its the mental state where things happen automatically and you dont need to put in effort. Its where you are so immersed in the activity that you lose track of time, effort, energy, money, other considerations.
Imagine a singer practicing for herself. Imagine a gambler winning hand after hand after hand after hand. Imagine a lover trying to woo his love. Or a child trying to erect sand castles on a beach. Think of the arched brows of a sniper trying to take a headshot. Imagine a writer typing away to glory with the din of a coffee shop as the background. A biker on a long unwinding road with the constant hum of the motorcycle underneath him.
That! That is being in the zone. And I want to be in that zone perpetually. If not that, than all the time. And I want to a
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| From the game flOw. If you haven't played this game, you've missed something. |
After that things changed and I got a college degree. Since then most things I do require me to juggle multiple things at a time. As a result I havent experienced the zone much. Except when I am writing at a Starbucks. Or some other coffee shop. Or a comfortable chair and a table. I am that kind of person. External things are important to me. If they are in place, I can get in zone easy. If they are not, I may try hard but I wont ever go there.
So, since college, its been getting tough and tough to get in the zone. I dont know what to blame it on. One of the things that I want from like is that whatever I do, what I put my hand in, it has to be that immersive that I get in the zone instantly. There were times when I got there while I was working on #tnks. I just need to get more such things going for me. Sad bit is that #tnks would not give me financial independence but if it did, I would it would be a perfect way to live life. Because, thats all there is to life. Zone. And the chase of these zones.
With this, ladies and gentlemen, my stack of posts for a2z2014 is done. Hope you enjoyed reading the posts as much as I enjoyed writing. Took me 5 extra days but it was worth the wait.
Onto the next project. And onto regular blogging with inane updates about tiny things that I like doing.
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