So why did I do what I did? Multiple reasons. Here are a few that come to my mind immediately.
I realized that I was writing for the world. I was hoping for appreciation and rave reviews post every blog post. I was trying to please an audience that I was hoping to get with my blog. I started expecting fanmail. I was refreshing my mailbox every minute. I was on the lookout for a literary agent already. I was losing myself.
Apart from that I was wasting a lot of time on cooking up stories/posts that would get me more hits and more readers. I was becoming a publicity whore. I would deliberately post things that people would search for. I wanted to be on the top page of digg and delicious. I wanted to be famous. And while I was doing all this, I was losing focus of the bigger picture. That I am supposed to be myself when I am writing. That I should be talking to friends rather than strangers. That I should be writing for the pleasure of writing rather than for fame.
With my blog in restricted mode, I know that every post counts. I know that I am talking to a select few. I am talking to friends. I know I will be talking about things that are important to me.
Hope the experiment works well. Hope I stick on. Hope I keep writing.
P.S.: Having said all this, I do want to meet new people. I do want to engage in debates and discussions with people that are better than I. I do want to be famous. Am sure, Inshallah, some day I shall cook up some other blog for that ;P
Post # 1, Post Invite Only
Finally after 7 years of blogging, I finally took my blog private. Now I can use real names, real incidents and write for real friends. I am no longer scared of the peeps and moral policing of random strangers. I am no longer
I know I will miss all the fayadas of a pseudo-popular blog (read fayadas as book writing invitations, corporate launch invitations, all the ego boosts, chance encounters with strangers and at times with cute women etc).
Coming onto other things, last few months have been crazy to say the least. I am expected to travel to Gurgaon everyday. Gurgaon is fine but it take me two hour each side and that leaves me with no time to think about Cyntax. I hate every bit of this but I have no clue what to do. On one side I have my family and they wnat me to work. On other I have my dreams that I want to chase. I have been chasing them but then I lose direction and focus mid way and I end up with things that I dont want.
I just realized that I have used the word I at least a million times in last para. Tells me something about myself?
Onto other things, I am reading The Fountainhead allover again. More I read it, more I realize how screwed I am in my mind. At times I relate to Roark. At times I think hes dumb. At times I hate him. I times I want to be him.
Anyways coming back to real life, let me end this one here with a promise to keep updating the blog.
Till next time, (abcdt)ata.
I know I will miss all the fayadas of a pseudo-popular blog (read fayadas as book writing invitations, corporate launch invitations, all the ego boosts, chance encounters with strangers and at times with cute women etc).
Coming onto other things, last few months have been crazy to say the least. I am expected to travel to Gurgaon everyday. Gurgaon is fine but it take me two hour each side and that leaves me with no time to think about Cyntax. I hate every bit of this but I have no clue what to do. On one side I have my family and they wnat me to work. On other I have my dreams that I want to chase. I have been chasing them but then I lose direction and focus mid way and I end up with things that I dont want.
I just realized that I have used the word I at least a million times in last para. Tells me something about myself?
Onto other things, I am reading The Fountainhead allover again. More I read it, more I realize how screwed I am in my mind. At times I relate to Roark. At times I think hes dumb. At times I hate him. I times I want to be him.
Anyways coming back to real life, let me end this one here with a promise to keep updating the blog.
Till next time, (abcdt)ata.
War of Words to go Invite Only
After about 7 years of publishing pushing my uncalled for and often biased opinions on the Internet, I have decided to take War of Words private.
Please request/demand/coerce/threaten/bribe for your invite here.
Please request/demand/coerce/threaten/bribe for your invite here.
You!
Its been one year since you happened to me. Thank for everything.
Here are two songs for you... You're Beautiful and I Hope You Dance.
Here are two songs for you... You're Beautiful and I Hope You Dance.
Oneliners!
Inspired by awesome oneliners by Sobu, here is my own version.
She: happy 1st date anniversary
He: ...
She: happy 1st date anniversary
He: ...
Bungee Jumped off Macau Tower
Ever since I heard about the concept of a Bungee Jump, I have wanted to do it. So much so that I put it on my wishlist.
So last Sunday, I actually did it. I jumped from Macau Tower. At 233 meters, operated by AJ Hackett, this is the highest commercial Bungee Jump location in the world.
The experience is hard to describe. The jump gets over before it begins. The first few miniseconds are full of confusion. You think you have done something wrong. Since its something that you have never experienced before, your brain cant comprehend it. The next few microseconds is when you feel liberated. Its like orgasm. It lasts for split second but then those split seconds are worth a lifetime. The next few microseonds when you are nearing the ground, you start realizing what you have just done and you actually start screaming. And then the pull back happens. And you start singing songs. In my case, it was "this is love"!!. And then they lower you to the ground. And you feel that sense of achievement. That adrenaline rush that you always wanted. That exhilaration that you always craved for. Its all there. You are so proud of yourself to have jumped off the edge.
And as they, why live on the edge, when you can jump off it!! And btw next on list are jumps in Nepal and Switzerland.
Videos are available on demand. If you want to see me tottering towards the edge of the tower, that last bit of confusion and fear on my face before the jump, the actual fall, the reach for the ground below, the pull back and the release and all the pre-jump masala, please let me know and I shall share.
And for everyone else who have been thinking about it, you should do it. Its totally worth it.
So last Sunday, I actually did it. I jumped from Macau Tower. At 233 meters, operated by AJ Hackett, this is the highest commercial Bungee Jump location in the world.
The experience is hard to describe. The jump gets over before it begins. The first few miniseconds are full of confusion. You think you have done something wrong. Since its something that you have never experienced before, your brain cant comprehend it. The next few microseconds is when you feel liberated. Its like orgasm. It lasts for split second but then those split seconds are worth a lifetime. The next few microseonds when you are nearing the ground, you start realizing what you have just done and you actually start screaming. And then the pull back happens. And you start singing songs. In my case, it was "this is love"!!. And then they lower you to the ground. And you feel that sense of achievement. That adrenaline rush that you always wanted. That exhilaration that you always craved for. Its all there. You are so proud of yourself to have jumped off the edge.
And as they, why live on the edge, when you can jump off it!! And btw next on list are jumps in Nepal and Switzerland.
Videos are available on demand. If you want to see me tottering towards the edge of the tower, that last bit of confusion and fear on my face before the jump, the actual fall, the reach for the ground below, the pull back and the release and all the pre-jump masala, please let me know and I shall share.
And for everyone else who have been thinking about it, you should do it. Its totally worth it.
Losing it
Realized lately that I cant write anymore !!
Untimely demise of a future award winning, movie scripting, book touring, critical acclaim generating, shamelessly self promoting author?
Untimely demise of a future award winning, movie scripting, book touring, critical acclaim generating, shamelessly self promoting author?
Happy Birthday Agony Aunt
Happy Birthday V!!!
Thanks for being there. Always.
Strange it may sound but yes, I do have an agony aunt. Everytime I am low and I dont know what to do, I goto her place, talk my heart out without any inhibitions, chit chat about random things and come back fresh. Its like coming back from a teerth yatra (aka pilgrimage).
She listens to me without prejudice, she seems to understand everything without me having to say em explicitly and has answers for every damn thing in the world (MS tells me that I have answers for everything. If MS had met V, she would have known that SG has just about a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of V's coming-up-with-ingenious-answers-at-drop-of-the-hat skills).
Coming back to her, she is super intelligent, very strict taskmaster, amazing mother (shes got two sons - I tried talking her into adopting me as well, but she dint budge) and wonderful listener. The world needs more of her kinds.
I know her for about an year now. I know her from an online forum that both of us are fond of. In fact she gave me my first project when I started Cyntax in July last year (btw we still haven't finished the project and she has been chasing me incessantly for it and I have now mastered the art of avoiding her phone calls about it).
Wish her a great year ahead.
Thanks for being there. Always.
Strange it may sound but yes, I do have an agony aunt. Everytime I am low and I dont know what to do, I goto her place, talk my heart out without any inhibitions, chit chat about random things and come back fresh. Its like coming back from a teerth yatra (aka pilgrimage).
She listens to me without prejudice, she seems to understand everything without me having to say em explicitly and has answers for every damn thing in the world (MS tells me that I have answers for everything. If MS had met V, she would have known that SG has just about a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of V's coming-up-with-ingenious-answers-at-drop-of-the-hat skills).
Coming back to her, she is super intelligent, very strict taskmaster, amazing mother (shes got two sons - I tried talking her into adopting me as well, but she dint budge) and wonderful listener. The world needs more of her kinds.
I know her for about an year now. I know her from an online forum that both of us are fond of. In fact she gave me my first project when I started Cyntax in July last year (btw we still haven't finished the project and she has been chasing me incessantly for it and I have now mastered the art of avoiding her phone calls about it).
Wish her a great year ahead.
Manzil na aaye !
RIP MS
With a heavy heart (coupled with black and white imagery and sad music in background), I report the untimely departure of one MS from the sob story of my life.
In last few months, everytime you saw me happy, it was her. Everytime you saw me excited, she had done something special. Everytime I was found hunting for curios, gifts and tees, they were all for her. Everytime I disappeared without a convincing alibi, I was with her.
She brought me strength, love and luck. She took care of me. She was my guiding angel. She taught me what I ought to do. She stood by me. She watched out for me. She made me do things that I never thought were possible. She made my laugh and yes, she did make my cry. She was the reason. She made me push my limits and she was always there when I needed her.
Reminds me of these lines ...
Wish I could get her back...
Like most of other people I talk about here, MS is a fictional character. Any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental and unintentional. Please consult a certified financial consultant before taking any investment decisions. Ok, this last one was not required.
In last few months, everytime you saw me happy, it was her. Everytime you saw me excited, she had done something special. Everytime I was found hunting for curios, gifts and tees, they were all for her. Everytime I disappeared without a convincing alibi, I was with her.
She brought me strength, love and luck. She took care of me. She was my guiding angel. She taught me what I ought to do. She stood by me. She watched out for me. She made me do things that I never thought were possible. She made my laugh and yes, she did make my cry. She was the reason. She made me push my limits and she was always there when I needed her.
Reminds me of these lines ...
Tu jo nahin to aise piya humDownload it here. Totally legit. From CokeStudio.
jaise soona aangana
nain tihari raah niharein
nainan ko tarsaao na
Wish I could get her back...
Like most of other people I talk about here, MS is a fictional character. Any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental and unintentional. Please consult a certified financial consultant before taking any investment decisions. Ok, this last one was not required.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)